Pain… Red… Gray… Paper… Metal… Cold…

Flashes of memories fill my head but none of it makes sense. Am I supposed to know all of this? Is it mine, or it someone else’s?

Who am I? What am I? Does it matter? What matters? What is matter?

I don’t know but I feel like it should. If I knew what can I do? What can I do? Thoughts and questions echo in my head… it hurts... but I can’t do anything about it. Was I supposed to? Am I supposed to do anything? Can I do anything?

Maybe I should find out where I am? I try to open my eyes but there’s something ‘heavy’, that’s stopping me. I give up trying to open my eyes for now, but even with my eyes closed I can tell it’s ‘dark’ in here. Whatever ‘dark’ is.

I feel a ‘warm’ ‘liquid’ around me it’s heavy no ‘thick’, I think that’s the word, and… uh um ‘goopy’? It shakes and ‘slushes’ around at times, it’s ‘fun’. Then there’s also a… a… what is it? What is this thing surrounding me on all sides? And what that rubbery hose thing connected to my belly?

Looking through those memories, I think I’ve found it! The questionable balloon surrounding me is a ‘membrane’, and the hose is a ‘um- bill- cal’ cord! The balloon keeps me safe till I’m big and the hose feeds me! How con- ve- net! These ‘memories’ are useful! - even if they hurt...

I fell asleep, and ate via hose when I woke up, but now I’m bored. So I looked through the memory ‘web’ more today, I don’t know what ‘day’ is it felt right to say it. Afterall although the memory web always automatically supplies me with words that suit my purposes, I don’t always know what the words mean so I have to research it afterwards.

Finding out what the balloon and hose where was hard and hurt a lot so I decided to look for something simpler. I decided to learn about the ‘natural’ words (words that popped into my head without much effort) that I said yesterday.

Like ‘today’, dark, warm, liquid, and heavy. I figured I should probably know what I’m saying. Learning about the words in my head, branched off and I started learning about their opposites. I know I’ll have to deal with ‘light’ but I’m hesitant about it, after all it’s the opposite of everything I’ve known so far. Darkness is familiar, it’s warm, it’s safe, but Light is foreign but memory web’s information tells me that the world outside is filled with light and that people ‘walk’ around in it.

I curl in closer to myself, fearful of the world of light outside, and fall asleep.

I ate and slept not wanting to be awake for days, though how many I don’t know there’s nothing to indicate time here. Soon I realised that being afraid of light, was useless, either it was going to hurt or it wouldn’t one way or another fearing it wouldn’t change anything. Fearing something without coming in contact with it would do nothing other than stress me, and that was no good.

I woke up again, ate, and perused the memories gaining more and more ‘in-sight’ (hehe) into the world. Learning about numbers, letters, more words, a bit about currency, and investigating some of the wayward thoughts and ideas from the memories.

Going through the memories I soon came across an absurd piece of information:

Number one: I’m a baby currently in some lady’s stomach. (This is scary cauz’ that means that at any moment I could be digested.)

Number two: Other babies don’t retain memories. Which means that they don’t have the memory web! How do they survive? There is literally nothing to do in here! Do they go insane?

*Starts kicking around and panicking at the sudden realization *

*Gets exhausted after a while of kicking around and goes to sleep*

*Wakes up later*

I’m calmer after sleeping but I revisit my earlier thought process. Thinking more on it this time I recall my bout of sleep during my ‘light’ fear time period.

If they don’t have the memory web: Does that mean that all they do is eat, sleep, and maybe kick around a bit?

Wait if that is indeed all they do then… Wouldn’t that mean that everyone else my age is stupid!?

*Starts panic kicking again only to fall asleep*

*Wakes up and starts hearing people talk really loudly*

*Unhappy and annoyed I start kicking again*

Quiet down I’m sleeping here lady person!

*The voices outside only get louder and more excited, as I kick around*

I get more and more annoyed! Why do they sound so happy!? Even I an unborn baby know at least cognitively that getting kicked should hurt!

I start getting tired, I realise that giving them attention only makes them louder! I struggle to go to sleep, frustrated with my defeat and ongoing battle against the loud sounds.

-Later-

When I wake up again, it’s quiet now… I smile, I assume evilly. (I can’t tell for sure I don’t really what ‘evil’ is, and I’ve never seen my own face.) The lady person is obviously asleep much like I was, I decide to get back at my loud and noisy tormenter by kicking her again and again releasing my unrelenting fury.

*Tormentor Lady wakes up, and start moving around likely shaking something.*

'Hey! Hey! Stop it Lady! I don’t don’t have any goopy stuff to cushion me anymore! Or much room in here, please stop that! I’m begging you here! Stop it! Pleaseee!'- mental shouting/pleaing 

*Finally the torrent shaking stopped, but soon Tormentor Lady and another much lower voice rang out.

Ugh, fine you win… you can continue speaking loud just don’t shake me like that again… please? Don’t do that again.

The low voice is calmer but no less happy, it quiets down the Tormentor. I decide I like Low voice… it’s loud but not as loud, it’s like the darkness: Quiet, comfortable, warm, and safe.

*The Tormenter sounds distressed once she realizes I stopped kicking*

Why is she unhappy that I stopped kicking her? Isn’t that what she wanted? The shaking was a punishment right? Why does she want to get hurt? Isn’t that counterproductive? Wanting a child to hurt you.

The Tormentor sounds sad and disappointed… I decided this doesn’t sit well with me so I tentatively kick her as lightly as possible to test the waters.

Tormentor gets happy and excited again. I feel happy that the uncomfortable feeling is gone.

Something is pressing on my balloon… Hey I trusted you Lady! Why did you invade my personal space!

*I start kicking violently at the invader denting my balloon.*

'Get out! Get out! Get out!' - mental shouting

* Tormentor and Low voice get excited and happy.*

How... confusing… pfh ha, Ya know what I’m to tired to think about this to much, I’m going back to sleep...