I saw the world crumbled, broken into pieces and disappeared. It felt surreal and… ethereal. I couldn’t understand. My consciousness slipped bit by bit into the abyss.

Just like a passing dream. A memory that you know existed, but at the same time unable to recall. Unable to feel, all my senses disappeared. I cannot see, hear, smell, touch, or taste.

The world became empty.

And reconstructed itself.

Light. Glittering dusts shone with brilliance. It swirled around creating a vortex and the golden light appeared from the sky.

The evening sun made the sky turned into orange-ish color along with the clouds. Warmth flowed back into my body and all my senses returned.

I stood on a round platform. The surface was made of colored glass like puzzle pieces. They formed many forms, some were people, animals, places, other were random words. The glasses moved on their own and created an illusion of a flowing water, vague and inconsistent.

I couldn’t understand what was going on and observed how the platform I stood on existed in the first place. Surrounding the platform was darkness, there was no bottom but the abyss. The sky was similar in a sense, filled with stars, far and untouchable. An infinite world.

Why am I doing here?

How did I got here?

For what purpose?

...Elaine?

I lifted my hand to the sky, tried to reach the brightest star in the sky.

It was futile. But somehow, I just felt like to.

This world…

“Welcome, to the Tower of Memorial.”

A soft voice welcomed me. I turned around and stood a blue-haired girl with a pure white dress. I could see something on her back, a small pair of wings.

“An...gel…?”

She shook her head.

“I prefer to see myself as a messenger.”

“A messenger?”

“A person who deliver a message, a courier.”

“But, are you a person?”

Her petite face let out a smile. Her eyes turned slightly crescent and she said.

“Are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I meant. Are you sure you are a person?”

Taken aback by her question, I stared at my hand. Starting from the tip of my index finger, I saw my nail turned into dust and blown away. It crumbled halfway to my hand and showed no sign of stopping.

“What’s happening to me?”

“You are fading away. Soon, you will be left with nothing. No body, no memories, no sense of self. Soulless.”

“Is this… death?”

“Where there’s death, there’s life. The Purgatorium will cleanse of every single nook and cranny of you.”

“And I will be reborn?”

“No. There’s no such thing as reincarnation. Otherwise, the number of living beings will stay constant forever.”

“Then… what will happen to me?”

“Who knows.”

“I see…”

My right hand turned to dust. It continued to my forearm.

“What happened to her?”

“The girl? Elaine… was it?”

“Yeah. She…”

“She died.”

Like being choked, I felt my throat tightened for a second. I clenched my fist and gritted my teeth.

“Instead of worrying about yourself, you worried of other. Is she that important to you? How admirable.”

“More… than anything.”

“Indeed, the greatest gift and curse to mankind ever received, emotions. It lingers even after death has come.”

“...Why are you here?”

“To fulfill a debt I made a long time ago.”

“A… debt? To whom?”

“It gives you no advantage whatsoever for this situation even if you knew. All you need to know is to touch this gem.”

She held out her palm and the space was distorted. A gem materialized and floated towards me.

“This is Gem of Life. You will be resurrected a second chance at life will be given once more.”

“For me? Is the debt related to my survival?”

“Yes, that is correct. Now, live once more to your fullest without regret!”

There was no explanation given why I should believe her words. For all I know, she could be a devil in disguise trying to manipulate me for her biddings. A slave contract that will bound me forever to hell.

But.

I don’t have any other choice, do I? To do the leap of faith, or crumble into nothingness.The odds are pretty bad for me, but...

But...

“Why?”

“Why am I helping you? As I said. I have a debt to repay. With this, I’m one step closer to clear it away.”

“This debt you are talking about. What happen if I refuse to take it?”

“What are you on about?”

At this moment, both my hands already disappeared and judging by the pace, it wouldn’t be too long before I truly lost my soul.

“Tell me who you are, what it’s relation with me or I won’t take your offer.”

“What are you on about!? You will die and disappear for good you hear!? This isn’t the time to joke about!”

Her calm demeanor and stiff expression was blown away. Anxiousness and fear crept onto her face.

“Then tell me what I want to know. Why are you helping me? What’s in it for you?”

Gritting her teeth, she stared daggers at me.

“...A debt that I made with a man to ensure your safety and well being. See!? This isn’t a trickery! I’m not trying to swindle you into a slave contract or something!!”

“A debt you made with a man? Who is this man?”

“...That I cannot tell you. Part of the debt forbid me to let you know anything about him.”

“Too bad.”

“You shitty brat! Don’t you know the weight of the situation here!? A second chance at life!!”

“I do.”

“Then why!?”

“But there’s something I value more than my life.”

“...!!”

This is it. The missing piece that I was looking for. It has shown itself to me at the most crucial moment. The gamble that I must take to ensure her life.

If I win, she will live.

If I lose, both of us will die.

“That man. He’s someone I know isn’t it?”

My left leg disappeared and I fell on the floor. But I couldn’t care less. I observed her twisted face and continued.

“The man… from the future? No, a man from the past! A normal human being!! A mortal just like me!”

“W-what are you blabbering on about!? Hurry up and take the gem!!”

Shit. I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but I knew… that man…

“That man… is someone I knew very well isn’t it!? Answer me!!”

“I told you I cannot tell you the identity of this man!!”

“You don’t have to answer! Simply shake your head if I’m wrong and stay quiet if I’m right!”

“...”

She bit her lips while looking at the floor. Her hands clenched on the hem of her clothes.

“That man is someone I knew very well!!”

“...”

“A man from the future!!”

She shook her head.

“A man from the past!!”

“...”

Through the experience I lived for 14 years, I spent 7 years reading many books, many fictions, tales of many authors. Each tales follows a formula and pattern. Each pattern is essentially the same, but the diverse execution of it made each story unique.

For each tale that I read, I began to see.

To see the pattern.

See the the intention behind a story.

There’s a good story and there’s a bad one.

What makes a good story good, and a bad story bad?

It was all depend on the perspective of the reader, their subjective view. A good story is measured by how well the society received it… is not entirely correct either.

There’s no such thing as ultimate method to know a story is a good one or not.

It depends on one’s bias and moral to judge a something is good or bad.

Then, what do you think of this story? This tale? What happened so far, what is your opinion? Was it to your liking? Or simply distasteful?

Well, that’s that then.

But for me, I think this tale I’m treading on is bad.

Very, very bad and crap.

Why?

The answer is simple.

Because I’m going to pull a deus ex machina.

“The man from the past is me!! I am the man you owe!!”

“H-how did you…!?”

The convoluted pattern has been untangled.

“A random guess!! Now that I know, the answer is simple. If I’m the man you owe, then I shall declare that your debt can only be cleansed with one method!!”

“W-what!? I don’t understand what’s going on anymore!!”

She pulled her blue hair in frustration and her eyes turned moist.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!! This, this, this is… this is inconceivable!!”

“Use the Gem of Life to revive Elaine and your debt will be paid off!!”

“W-whaaaatt!?!?!?”

“You heard me! Now do it!”

“No, wait a second!! What about you!?”

“Me?”

I chuckled with only my chest and right arm left. In a matter of few moments, I will disappear.

“I will… abide by the law of nature, I guess.”

“You don’t mean...!?”

“This is a crappy story. But no matter how crappy it is, there’s always an end.”

Everything has a start and an end. Mine just about to end, and another is about to start. Her journey, there was a time where I wanted to be included in her tales… but I guess that wouldn’t happen.

“No!! You can’t die!! Not here!! Not now!!!”

She screamed and ran towards me. I saw her cheeks stained with tears and hugged me tightly. But why?

“W-why?”

“Even without the debt!! Even without it!! I will…!!”

Her voice was getting distant to the point I could no longer hear anything. As my vision turned blurry, I peeked at her face one last time.

A cute face, pretty and somewhat doll-like. That was my first impression.

But now, she looked like a child mourning her dead cat.

I brushed her hair with my remaining fingers, and whispered.

“Goodbye.”

Knowing that there’s no reincarnation awaits puts me at peace. With her crying face as my last memory, I crumbled into dusts.

…

Where is this?

It’s painful. I can’t feel my body.

I gazed around, but I just couldn’t figure anything out. Where am I? Why am I here?

A flickering light coming from the furnace. The flame danced on the burnt woods and lit the room.

It’s warm and comfy, I don’t want to leave the bed, but… I’m extremely hungry.

I want to eat. Anything is fine as long as I can eat it.

I couldn’t remember what happened before. I couldn’t remember anything. Where I came from, my home, everything was lost except...

A figure walked up to me, an adult wearing a straw hat.

“You are awake. Here, drink this.”

His coarse and rough voice entered my ears. He reached for something outside of my vision and handed me a cup of water.

“I found you lying on the road right before the city. There was two of you.”

“T...wo...?”

“Take a sip first, you must be thirsty.”

I do as he said and took a sip. The burn in my throat appeased a little.

“The other kid didn’t survive. I heard from the others, that your village up north was… well...”

“My… village…? Where…?”

“W-what do you mean where? Have you forgotten?”

“I… can’t remember… anything.”

“Not even your name?”

“My name…”

“There was two of you, but the other didn’t… let’s say the child’s suffering ended.”

“Elaine.”

“Was that the other child’s name?”

“Elaine is my name. His name was…”

Dizziness spread across the back of my head and I fell down on the bed.

“Sleep child, it’s been hard on you. Rest as long as you want. If there’s something you want to talk about, I’m here to listen.”

Vaguely in my memory, I remember my name. And on the corner was something else. Something vague and fragile. If I don’t focus on it, then it will disappear and I don’t want that.

It was precious.

I don't want to lose it.

“...Len.”