Jack and Mike awaited with bated breaths. Was the effect truly caused by a spell, which directly interacted with the living beings, without any physical medium? Or was the spell itself simply a creation and dispersion device for a sleeping agent?

It took them almost five minutes of nervous waiting, still as the dead, before being sure that it was the latter. Wearing the masks, they were still awake. By this time, all the soldiers were asleep. The cultists had produced magically moved carts, to which sleeping soldiers were piled onto and which seemingly took the soldiers elsewhere. This meant that the soldiers still had a purpose for them, otherwise they would have been killed outright, or the spell would not be just for putting people to sleep.

The pink mist was still everywhere. Suddenly Jack realized something. The night vision spell was no longer active. It hadn't been active for a while now. Not since the first pink mist. But there was something else: the pink mist was clearly stronger around the temple. It meant something. Jack could feel it, even if he could not pick the words to explain it to himself.

"So what do we do next?" Mike asked.

"I guess we have three options." Jack replied. "Option one: we stay here, wait until sunup. Option two: we try to make our way back to school to get help. And option three: we risk our lives and press on."

"So what do you want to do?" Mike asked.

"I will press on." Jack replied. "Unless somebody really powerful appears, we have fire superiority."

"Do we need anything special for that?" Mike asked.

"Put a suppressor on your FAL as well, also load up your sidearm. We're gonna go for what is know as search and destroy. Ergo, we shoot anything that is wearing one of those robes, no matter who they are or what they say. You got it?"

"Yes." Mike nodded.

They carried Tiana down the staircase and hid her behind some barrels under the staircase. Then, under the cover or darkness and the pink mist they made their way across the courtyard towards the temple. At this point Jack wished he had packed something else as well, or simply something else. The FAL was extremely unwieldy for use as a close quarters rifle. Jack took point, and as they were approaching the temple, he saw the door opening and a hooded figure appeared. A moment later there was a large stain of blood on the door, with the hooded figure now slumped on the ground. Jack had aimed for the upper body, but as he approached the door he saw that instead, the bullet had struck the person in the neck and nearly removed everything on one side.

They stepped into the antechamber, which had hallways leading to either side.

"We should take the upper levels first." Jack whispered.

To the left of the ante-chamber they found a staircase leading up to the raised walkway around the main chamber. This also gave them a bird's eye view what was going on there. They could see several people in robes standing around the pink pillar of light, which stood right where the pulpit should have been. From the rubble, it seemed that when the spell triggered, the light pillar tore through the stone floor or the building, originating from the basement level.

Jack and Mike circled the walkway and found nobody, however they did find that above the antechamber there seemed to be another room with no windows, as they approached it from the right of the entrance, Jack put his rifle away and pulled his pistol. He crouched down and opened the door slightly, noticing a few hooded figures in the room.

"Give me your pistol." Jack said, "and close the door behind me."

He left his back-pack and the rifles behind, checked that both pistols had a round chambered and then crouched into the room. Mike closed the door behind him and Jack stood up. The four or five hooded figures in the room noticed him, but that was all they managed to do. Maybe it was completely unexpected that any enemies could still be awake with the pink mist active, or maybe it was the filtered face-mask, but it took the cultists far longer to react than Jack had thought. Within four seconds Jack had shot all of them in the head. Some had managed to start reciting spells, but other than some weird lighting, they did not get too far. For good measure, he circled back and performed some check-shots in the heart and lungs. Just in case somebody has something that could heal one deadly injury.

"Did anybody notice anything?" Jack asked.

"Nothing's changed here." Mike replied.

"Good. We take the primary chamber now." He put away his pistol, handed Mike back his, and picked up the rifles.

"How do you want to do it?" Mike asked.

"We'll go back to get nearer to the main light pillar. Then we drop some grenades. That should take care of the ones near the light pillar, the rest we can hunt down with the rifles."

"Right."

They snuck back towards the back end of the building, and Jack produced 2 grenades. He de-clipped them, gripped both tightly, barely being able to hold the levers against the bodies. No wonder grenades caused so much friendly fire casualties from people trying to act cool. The detonator spring on each grenade must have had at least a 40 to 60 pound pull.

"Okay," Jack said, "pull the pins."

Mike pulled the pins on both.

"Now, these are safe until I release them. From my grip you should see how strong the detonator spring is pulling the lever, so I cannot hold onto them forever. After I release them, there should be a 3-5 second delay. Unless of course these are the booby-trap variety in which case they will go off almost immediately after I let go. Which would be... unfortunate."

Jack threw the grenades towards the light pillar and ducked. Moments later, an explosion rang out, and then when the noise of the explosion subsided, screaming started. Jack and Mike ran towards the entrance of the church, and Jack opened the outside doors. Nobody, no escapees were visible, unless they were the intelligent variety and instead of running straight away, they kept to the outside wall. He turned back towards the closed door of the main chamber.

"Mike, you take the right, I take the left. We shoot everybody still standing and then everybody still alive. You have twenty rounds in the magazine. If you cannot make a headshot, don't bother, at this range a body shot is equally devastating. Don't worry about the opponent hiding behind anything wooden. The .30 caliber will not lose much energy going through wood."

"Okay."

Jack shouldered the rifle.

"Ready? 3. 2. 1. Go!"

They each opened one half of the door and entered the room. Jack had no trouble eliminating the three in front of him and then another three hiding on the side under the walkways. Moments later, a fireball landed right next to him, setting a bench on fire. He turned around and dispatched the last person in the left back corner. Again, Jack felt that something was wrong, the people were visibly startled when they appeared, either because of the face-masks or because they were awake. The certainly did not react like the evil cultists they were said to be or even the usual battle-hardened imperial soldiers.

He then turned his attention to the right side, eliminating the guy in the back right corner from Mike, who was equally inept at aiming. But Mike himself was occupied with a frustrating enemy who had managed to put up a screen of water which tore all the bullets into tiny little fragments before they could even reach him. Both were at an impasse. Mike could not stop firing and the other person could not drop the screen without being shot at once. Jack himself could also do nothing since the screen covered the full quarter-circle which was not facing any walls.

Jack quickly analyzed the situation and came to an idea. Or once in a hundred option. He walked a few steps, took aim and pulled the trigger, moments later the water screen dropped and Mike put one in the chest and one in the head.

"How did you hit him through the water spell?" Mike asked.

"I didn't, but I got lucky with a ricochet."

"A ricochet?!" He looked at a pillar nearest to him. "You didn't tell me these things can bounce off the walls!"

"They can absolutely bounce off, just that it depends on angle, velocity, energy and of course material."

"And you analyzed all that?!"

"Well..." Jack did not finish his sentence.

Of course he did not analyze all that. It was just a lucky shot. The pillar was actually made of a stone a lot harder than he had thought. It was a near perfect reflection angle.

Jack pulled his pistol and walked towards the pink column. This was real life not the movies, two fragmentation grenades might have been thought of as something powerful and most certainly deadly, but anecdotes about real life use say something completely different. For example, a single one thrown under a wooden table, did not only not kill anybody but everybody sitting around the table also kept their legs. And for that reason, Jack would not move on before he had shot every body in the head at least once.

"Hey Jack, I found a staircase leading down!"

"Good work! Lets go! The pillar is still active, we need to deal with that."

He check his pistol, 4 rounds out of 18 still remaining. The FAL had 2 rounds remaining, a reason enough to change the mag.

"Mike, check your rifle, maybe change a magazine." Jack reminded.

Mike hurriedly pulled the magazine from his rifle and found it to be empty.

"Thanks!"

"Just keep in mind that while the magazine was empty, you still have one chambered."

With careful steps they descended into darkness. Despite both of them using suppressed weapons, which only had the supersonic crack and the noise of the action as the only rapport, Jack could not be certain that nobody in the catacombs under the church heard them.

"A night vision spell would be useful right now." Mike said.

"Shh!" Jack replied "Stop for a moment!" he whispered.

*

Jack reached into his bag again and pulled out something that Mike could not recognize. He looked on as Jack removed some sticks from a case made of bending glass. Then he bent the sticks and they lit up, giving off enough light to see the stone walls and low vaulted ceilings. He dropped them everywhere, pulling new and new sticks out. Some green, some yellow, some red and blue. The light from the sticks was not especially bright, but in the pitch black darkness of the underchambers they were plenty enough to see the walls and the vaulted ceiling. As long as they stayed lit, there would be no problem finding their way back.

Using this, they made it through the darkness in the corridors and descended a couple of flights of stairs with no surprises until they finally reached a pair of black metal doors. Again, a rifle in one hand, each of them grabbed a side of the door and this time with great effort, swung it open. The doors made a deafening ruckus with the metal hinges and dragging on the stone floor.

Jack was right and ready for anything to jump out or any strange spells appearing to engage them, but there was nothing. Nothing and nobody. Absolute quiet. From what they saw around them, this too looked like a main hall, but if the main hall above them was merely damaged by the light pillar, then here it looked like a scene of a massive explosion. Everything was broken into rubble.

Ruined rows of pews, some gathered into tall and messy piles. The thick tiles of stone flooring were cracked into pieces and overturned, leaving a scarred uneven floor of soil. Broken statues, stained glass and even colorful slabs of slightly transparent mica was strewn everywhere. The stylized pillars had crumbled and revealed patches of the cave's walls.

In the middle of the underground cave there was a crater in stone, reaching almost the entire width of the underground hall. With huge layers of rock broken and upturned as if a small meteor had suddenly materialized in the cave and struck the floor at a speed of a few dozens of miles a second. In the middle of said crater there stood a multi-sided pillar about 10 feet high. Above that hovered a massive silver claymore sword. The sword was surrounded by a pink light. Weird undulations and eddies, which had the qualities of air, liquid and plasma simultaneously, swirled about. These waves were dodging around the sword, as well as penetrating it, leaving pink temporary Lichtenberg patterns into the blade which quickly disappeared.

On the stone pillar itself, rows of strange hieroglyphic figures were lighting up in sequence, traveling up and down the pillar. The whole thing was giving off strange purplish pink glow, which looked almost like black light.

"I've read about this."

Mike said as he walked around the stand, "in the stories of the books. One of the forbidden magic arts: destructive distillation of magical artifacts. Its about.."

"I actually know what destructive distillation is," Jack interrupted, "they set up as spell and they let this artifact fuel the spell with its inherent magic. And this essentially destroys it as an artifact."

"Yes. Essentially," Mike responded, smiling.

"Okay, so let us disrupt this, can you drop down to one knee?"

"Yes, but.." Mike got down on one knee, but before he could finish the question, Jack had stepped on his other knee and gained the leverage to reach the sword.

What his hand did not touch however, was the sword, instead what he touched was like a power outlet, which sent him flying into the pile of pews.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked in a worried voice, "master?!"

"I guess this didn't work," Jack answered slowly as he got back up and limped towards his friend. "I couldn't touch the sword, I doubt we'll be able to disrupt it this way. But I have an idea. I could touch the top of the stand just fine."

"So..?" Mike asked.

"So like most problems in life, this too could be solved with explosives." Jack smiled as he said that. "I used mine in the main hall, you should still have two in your bag."

"I really hate to do this." Jack sighed, looking at the last two grenades they had. He should have brought more, just two more. But now he was hesitant, finally he set one aside.

"Okay then. We'll try a single grenade first. If it doesn't work, I'll use the detonator of the other one to set off the C4. If it doesn't dislodge the sword, it will at least collapse the church onto it. And possibly onto us."

Once a gain he climbed Mike to get access to the top of the pillar.

"Now, once I set it down, we have to stay close to the pillar and low."

Jack removed the pin and slowly set his hand with the grenade down on the edge of the pillar. For a second a thought occurred. A flash of him setting it down and diving, while the grenade rolled off and fell beside them a split second before going off. Thus he was extra gentle not to do that. He let the lever loose, set the grenade down and, then fell away towards the floor.

Not a second later, a loud explosion shook him, covered him in pieces of broken stone and dust and even rocked the floor.

Jack got up and looked around in total darkness. The only light was a faint glow or the far side of the pitch black plane which reminded him of the glow-sticks he had dropped. It seemed that not only him as Mike too was dropping them, allowing Jack to see that some of the dust had still not settled.

"Master! Are you okay?!" Mike asked in panic.

"Yes."

Jack got on his feet and then noticed something on the far side of the large room. Something metallic glowing with a faint black light. He walked to it and picked up sword with a metallic blade and hilt. It was black and blue, like heat-treated steel, but the blue and black areas were glowing and constantly shifting.

"So it worked?" Mike asked.

"Yes," Jack returned to the marble block which had its top blown away. "And the sword survived as well."

"You know what this is, right?" Mike asked with a sense of wonder.

"Nope," Jack responded with a careless tone in his voice and handed the hilt towards his friend. "You are much better at sword-fighting at this point, so you should have it."

"Its an artifact, Jack! We cannot just keep it to ourselves!" Mike responded.

"Everything that has allowed us to get this far today has been artifact and artifacts only. I think we'll be fine. Those are spoils of war after all."

Mike hesitated for a few more seconds before carefully taking the sword. His face changed almost immediately.

"What?" Jack asked.

"It feels as if it is responding to me in some way."

"Must be magic, that all the people are talking about." Jack shrugged. He really had no other explanation. In his hand it had been just a pretty sword.

"I said you could have it, but I don't think it would be wise to drag it along with our current loadout." Jack continued. "So.. here."

He threw Mike what looked like a pitch black stick.

"What is this?" Mike asked.

"An indelible marker. Just write on the sword that is it the property of Mike, servant of Jack, and we can go. Since the magic was broken, some things have now been set in motion."

"What?" Mike asked.

"Two things, first, the mages outside of town at the secondary site will notice that the town is compromised. Secondly. Meeting the just-awoken townspeople carrying what look like otherwordly artifacts does not make us look like as unrelated to the calamity they were involved in. Even if we are wearing the capes of magic soldiers. So I would like to get the fuck out, as soon as possible."

*

At the same time, not far from the church, a young woman suddenly opened her eyes, waking up from her sleep. It was still pitch black around her. She rubbed her head and then started remembering the particulars. A pink fog pouring out of the church and falling from the sky. Her commander, the mission... She tried to get up, but hit her head on the stone ceiling. Was she captured? She then remembered the two teenage boys, Jack and Mike.

"Yeah." She said to herself. "Definitely captured."

Because if her and the rest of the soldiers, including Fichte, succumbed to the spell, then it was impossible that two young kids with no magic could resist.

She started to feel around her. She still had her sword and her wands. Her clothes as well, As for the place she was in, it had narrow stone walls and a low ceiling. Too small to be a cell. More like a pit or a crawlspace. Perhaps she was not captured? Another memory flashed in her mind. Just as she was falling asleep from the pink mist, the boys pulled some weird masks from their bags and put them on.

Did it perhaps mean that she fell asleep while they did not? Her questioning mood immediately turned hostile. Did they stuff her into some small nook like a sack of potatoes while they went off somewhere? But clearly the situation was no longer the same. The spell keeping her asleep was no longer active, or she was no longer in the area of it's influence.

While feeling around her, she discovered that one of the walls of her tiny cell was made of wood. What felt like big heavy boxes neatly stacked next to and on top of each other. She put some strength into it and finally managed to push one box aside, revealing a doorway at the bottom of the guard tower on the wall, lit by the relatively faint starlight. She cast Nighteye on herself and then slowly climbed out of her hiding place, peeking out of the tower.

There was commotion outside, but it wasn't the hostile mages and sorcerers she was expecting, instead it was the townsfolk carrying torches and oil lamps, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. She walked amongst the confused townsfolk and headed towards the church.

She entered the church, and slowly moved forward, with her wand and the sword both drawn. However it soon became evident, that this was not necessary. What greeted in the mail hall of the church was utter carnage. Not just the damaged and destroyed rows of pews and the giant hole in the place of the pulpit. But the bodies on the ground. Some nearby the walls with bleeding wounds or as if something had gone through their heads really fast, and others near the hole in the ground with multiple shrapnel wounds. There was no need to venture any further.

She exited the church, and then, turning around the corner, noticed a larger commotion about a block away. A group of townsfolk were closing in on somebody.

*

After following the still-glowing chemical lights up the stairs, Jack and Mike finally managed to exit the church. People were already awake, fully away that they had been asleep for a long time due to some strange reason. Jack turned around the corner and then stopped for a moment.

"Oh, good! I thought we'd have to look for some clues to understand what to do next." Jack said. "But this is way better."

He stood at one place and looked at another pink column reaching towards the sky. But this was quite a distance away, located on what looked like a mountainside, at a higher elevation than the town itself.

The pink light pillar lined up with an especially wide street in town. A street seemingly wide enough for at least six carriages side by side. Or 4 carriages and ample room for foot traffic in both directions. Jack and Mike started off on the street, roughly in the direction of the pink pillar. From the width of the street, there was no way this was not one of the main streets and did not lead to the other gate, or at least a wall.

"How far do you think it is?" Mike asked about the pink pillar.

"Hard to say. I would guess 2, maybe 3 miles. We should get to the other edge of the town. And the it will take us about 45 minutes of brisk walking."

But that had to wait. The townspeople who had suddenly awoken were immediately aware, that the two of them did not match the rest of folk on the streets. They were not wearing the same clothes, they did not have the same confusion in their eyes, and of course, the things in their hands and on their persons looked like the stuff that people were routinely jailed or executed for. It would not take long for a local garrison to notice them.

"Halt!"

Jack turned around and sighed, seeing that they were still in the vicinity of the church. Before him stood a man in a uniform that was not that different from the magic soldiers. There was a steel helmet with open face, tall boots, and a jacket and trousers made of heavy green cloth with white accents. Around the waist was a heavy leather belt, with another thinner belt ran diagonally from the belt to the right shoulder. The shoulders were tactically braced with metal pauldrons of steel plate. Similar steel plate also covered the chest, possibly back and forearms. This was not a singular piece of plate, but rather many small plates protecting vital areas and joints.

The two belts were used to hang the scabbard as well as a sheath for the wands. The man was pointing a wand at them while his other hand was on the hilt of the sword, ready to pull it at any time.

"Who are you! What are you doing here? Are you related to the town mysteriously having fallen asleep? Why are you carrying artifacts? Who are you?"

Jack did not respond, instead he slowly raised his FAL towards the soldier.

"We are members of Section 8, under commander Fichte and his magic soldiers. Put away your wand." He said, sternly.

"Section 8, huh? Never heard of it. You probably made it up. I know the magic soldiers of commander Fichte, we see them here often. They are all valiant soldiers, every last man and woman of them. You do not look like them. Even your capes are tattered, you're probably behind the strange occurrences here, huh? I bet you've killed your share of magic soldiers with those artifacts."

"I am not here to debate you." Jack replied. "We have a job to do. Do not oppose us."

"You are not doing anything before we sort out who you are and where you got all those artifacts! You're just kids! With your mothers' milk still on your chin! Do you know how much trouble you're in!? Trafficking in artifacts is a grave crime, no matter who your fathers are!"

Jack aimed besides the man, at a wooden barrel filled with water and pulled the trigger. A single deafening bang startled everybody in the vicinity, while the round hit the barrel and made it explode. He trained his gun back on the soldier.

"This is your last warning!" Jack said, "Put away your wand, let us go, or the next thing exploding will be your head!"

The soldier in the green uniform was clearly shaken by Jack's actions. It took him a lot of time to compose himself, even forgetting his wand for a moment. But he then steeled his resolve, pointed the wand again, and yelled.

"S-seize them!"

From the crowds stood forth another dozen or so soldiers in a similar green uniform. The got into a slightly curved formation with two mages paired with groups of three swordsmen. A total of three groups or 15 men.

"Mike?" Jack asked.

"Got them."

"Just like we practiced," he continued, without taking his eyes off the soldiers. "Quick target acquisition, prioritize the soldiers, then mages. These weapons have a full auto mode as well, usually it is pretty useless, but at this range it is perfect."

Jack turned his attention towards the soldier leading the rest.

"I should know the name of the man I am about to kill." Jack said.

"You think you can kill us?" the man asked in a mocking voice. "There are 2 of you and sixteen of us, plus more coming."

"We can absolutely get all of you, and then the rest as well. You are down to your last minute of living, so make good use of it and give me your name."

"You are insane. Whatever. My name is Panhard. Guard captain Panhard of the Coldwood militia."

"Well, guard captain Panhard, I am truly sorry for your stupidity." Jack replied.

"Wait! I should also know your name, if we are to do battle."

"Jack de Lune." Jack replied.

This response sent a small wave through the assembled soldiers.

"Jack de Lune?! Are you kidding me?!" guard captain Panhard asked. "Enough jokes, give me your real name!"

"It is my real name." Jack replied. "It is not my issue if you refuse to believe me."

"So, a possible blood relative of the Emperor dares to use quasi-Imperial authority to traffick in artifacts, or an artifact trafficker dares to assume the identity of a descendant of the Emperor. Both crimes warrant death, honestly. Men, attac-!"

"Belay that order!" a female voice shouted out. "Under Imperial authority granted to Section 8, you will stand down at once, or face the consequences!"

"Don't listen to her, she must be another artifact trafficker!" captain Panhard shouted.

However no attack commenced. The captain took a look behind him to see what was happening. All the soldiers had dropped their swords and wands and were staring at the night sky with a dull look in their eyes.

Jack lowered his rifle and safetyed it.

"Oh no." captain Panhard said. "Please forgive me! I didn't know! I couldn't have known! The never said they were Section 8!"

"Shut up!" Tiana said.

"See, I told Arandas Section 8 was a stupid name. I told him everybody would think we were insane." Jack said with a chuckle.

"You shut it, as well!" Tiana replied. "What was your plan anyway, if I had not interfered?"

"To shoot them all, and then make our way towards the other end of the town."

"To what end?" She continued.

"See the pink glow?" Jack asked.

"Oh." Tiana replied. "There is another wide area sleeping spell there?"

"Don't ask me, I'm not a mage." Jack replied. "We were headed there. Probably where they're keeping the rest."

"Okay, I am coming with you."

"Sure, but what well you do with them?" Jack asked, glancing at the soldiers, still standing stunned.

"What I should've done from the beginning."

Suddenly the wand in Tiana's other hand started giving off an eerie venomous glow. This glow turned into flying clouds of light rushing towards the stunned soldiers, as well as the now broken down captain Panhard.

Almost immediately the people woke from their stunned state and started screaming in agony, clutching their heads. The green magical energy was slowly carving an 'S' and an '8' into their foreheads as if cut by a blade, letting the wound bleed profusely.

Just at that time, another person was appearing, followed by dozens of soldiers with their wands and swords drawn. The soldiers looked quite similar to the one now on the ground writhing with agony, while their commander was something else.

The green color still dominated in his outfit, but instead of simple cloth uniform with metal plates on it, his was a mixture of plate and chain mail with green colors and accents. Essentially, as if large pieces of plate mail were attached to several layers of interwoven chain mail. This armor covered his body, as well as arms and legs, with metal spiked knee-high boots and plated gloves. All decorated with white and green accents.

From his facial features and dark gray hair and beard, the man was clearly beyond 50 years of age and already experienced in his position and profession.

As soon as he appeared, captain Panhard rushed to him and started groveling right away.

"Centurion Hotchkiss, please save my men! Those artifact traffickers are becoming bolder every day! They dare to claim to have Imperial lineage! They flaunt their artifacts openly! They even have a rogue magic soldier with them!"

The armored old man looked over the guard captain's sorry body towards the men on the ground, still in agony, while venom green magical slashes were still burning in their foreheads, then at Jack and Mike, and finally he noticed Tiana.

"Tiana." He gave a small nod.

"Alfred." Tiana replied.

"It it true?"

"All of it."

"Was it really necessary?"

"Yes."

"Would Commander Fichte approve?"

"Once we get back on our way to save him, he will."

"I see." Centurion Hotchkiss said and sighed, he then turned to look over his soldiers.

"Arrest guard captain Panhard and his men. They are to be held until commander Fichte returns to pass his judgment!"

He took one more glance at Jack and Mike, as well as the weapons they were carrying.

"Strange company you keep these days, Tiana."

"If I did not, you would still be sleeping." She replied coldly.

"Take care." The armored old man retreated with his soldiers as well as the captives.

"So tell me again, how you were planning to fight all of them?" Tiana asked Jack.

"We were planning to be gone by the time they arrived." Jack replied. "But thank you. Were were ill-equipped to handle that."

"With that smudged makeup on your face, it's no wonder."

"Wait what?" Only now did Jack consider that all the commotion since that pink mist took effect had probably ruined his wonderful corpse paint.

"Do you have a hand mirror?" He asked.

"Oh, shut up and lets go!" Tiana replied. "We better save the captain!"

"Well, it is at least an hour of walking if it is a straight line."

"There are stables at the other end of town. There is a network of small villages in the countryside, as well as the next town over, Northwood. We can commandeer some horses and be up there in 10-15 minutes."

"That's good." Jack replied. "Just remember, I still don't know how to ride a horse."

"Just keep your hands and other body parts to yourself!"