Meanwhile 20 - Yes, I do treat you like a child

*I posted this in the wrong place. Rip*

I mean, when you've been alive mentally for hundreds of years, it makes sense why you'd treat other people like a child.It may be true that I haven't told you about this and I look like a ten year old, but trust me you don't get it.So what if this is my first real female love interest since I can remember? That changes nothing. You're not as mature as me.I don't count maturity by the amount of times I've had sex in my life, do you? What, did you not think of it that way?Yeah, I also know that in my last life I didn't have siblings or a family, didn't have a best friend or a super grandpa but guess what?That changes nothing about my attitude this time around. I've seen things.

I've seen a world on fire, watched a man have his guts ripped out and eaten.Stuff like this, love and all, is nice but you know what? All it does is feel good. Doesn't change my nature. Doesn't mean I don't understand how things work in the real world, the world outside of the family.That world don't give a fuck about you. I've seen a lot of noble brats like you go on and on about their families. Guess what, they died.

I don't want to die. I play by that one rule; I don't want to die. Familial love is all good, but my parents really shouldn't be mad If I chose myself over them in a tough situation with no alternative.Because that is how humanity, in my vast, overwhelming experience, is suppose to work. The old generation suffers to make the new generation's life better.That's how shitty people who don't know how to work hard as adults are made.

I think I started going on tangent there. Did I mention I'm really old? Old people like to lecture children about things.What were we talking about in the first place? Right, I treat you like a child but I'm also a child so its not fair.That was suppose to get some kind of emotional response out of me, but all it does it makes me mad. Why? Because my physical body is ten years old and your getting into a conversation like we're in some really commited relationship.I mean, sure, your my childhood friend who has been in love with me for who knows how long, so I'm sure to you it seems like a good time to have this talk.But in my vast experience, childhood crushes don't work out simply. Remember when I mentioned the real world? I know you know at least this much.You've been pushing me to become stronger, hoping I'll become so strong that everything can work out. After all, your high class, you probably were born with a fiance.But you've got white knight delusions. You're hoping I'll be your prince charming.

There is just one little problem. You forgot why you had a fiance in the first place. It's because that family is powerful. What do I mean? I mean that we can't even talk about a relationship being a thing until after I become strong enough. Talking about it before... well, that just increases the number of people that try to kill me.Exponentially. Femme Fatale. The stronger I get and the closer we get, the exponentially more difficult it is for me to live long enough to act out these promises you want from me.

So, listen. I'm not ignoring your feelings. I'm not being social akward about it. I do get it.You don't.Let's just leave it at this. I'll say this much.

"For now, I'd like to minimize our contact. If I get strong enough, you'll find out when I come to your parents asking for us to get married."