I bolted to grab Picasso and immediately dived to the side. I heard a loud crashing sound soon after while dirt and rocks flew everywhere. My timing was so impeccable that if I was half a second late, then my little spidy here would have turned into meat paste. Ready to be served in any McDonald’s chain near you.

I seemed to have angered the last two surviving fanatics, as they charged towards me while screaming ‘My God is the greatest!’. I may not have understood them, but I’ll just put some words into their mouths to make our conversations more interesting for now. Can't have the audience be bored of a bland interaction that they themselves couldn't understand.

Slow to react, one of them got a firm hold of my waist while the other followed up and had my left leg all to himself. They then looked up at me with the creepiest satisfied smile I’d ever seen in my entire nineteen years of suffering on Earth. It's disturbing how they found pleasure in ruining someone else’s day. Well, if that’s what they want, then I might as well drag them into my own crippling depression.

“Get off of me!” I yelled.

Even with how my fists flirted and intimately came into contact with their face, they still carried that same disgusting smile with blood and saliva dripping down from their mouths while a few of their teeth were now broken or missing. Why can’t they just let go? I know you want to kill yourselves, and I won't judge you for it. You do you. This is a free world in which you can do anything and everything— for a price. But don’t drag me down along with your mindless beliefs. I already have myself to do that for me. And besides, there are more important things for me to do other than dying at the moment. Preventing my spidy here from killing himself is one of them. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Picasso is also suicidal to a certain degree. Or maybe he’s just too young and naïve to determine what’s dangerous and what’s not.

Cold sweat dripped down from my forehead when I saw the wooden God of war looming closer with a casual gait. Each earth-shaking step that it took, the more frantic I grew. The more frantic I grew, the faster my fists moved. With desperation comes the strength to overcome tribulations. And what does a cornered rat do? It bites damn hard like a deranged shopaholic looking for discounts on Black Friday.

“I… said… piss off!” I made it rain a fountain of blood. Theirs and mine. You couldn’t even recognize them anymore along with my fists which were a bloody mess now. But those injuries will heal. I just don’t know if getting crushed beyond recognition will. Note to self, when I have time in the future, try dropping a giant boulder on my arm to see if it does.

The one who held my waist lost consciousness from a few hard blows to his temple and then loosened his vice-like grip. Fucking finally. It felt like the bastard wouldn’t let me go until I gave him some money for charitable purposes.

Seeing progress, a vicious smile formed on my lips and I couldn’t contain my laughter anymore. I laughed to my hearts content at their struggle to bring me down. This is kind of therapeutic in a twisted kind of way. When we had a seminar about temper issues back then, our school’s therapist’s simple advice was to take all of your frustrations out on a gigantic pillow or punching bag. And in this situation, I’m going to happily oblige. But there wasn’t any conveniently placed pillow right next to me, so the next best thing was for someone else’s face to be its replacement. Even Picasso’s helping me out to relieve some of my stress by not interfering and going away into the forest. Now that’s a good boy.

I got down on the ground and wrestled with the one who held my leg, rolling across the dirt and doing moves that I didn't know I had it in me. While I enthusiastically unleashed my inner rage and spite on the man that still held on for dear life, the giant wooden monstrosity ignored us and went in front of the other fanatic that I knocked unconscious.

It raised it’s leg up and over him. I stopped pummeling for a moment to watch the gruesome execution that’s about to happen. My gut tells me that the guy below it won’t have any pleasant dreams tonight. He probably won’t wake up anytime soon, or ever will for that matter.

It dropped the ban hammer down on the poor man, and he immediately vanished from this game called Life. Honestly, I thought they were friends or something with how they invited the creeping monster into their own home. Would you like dinner? A bath? Or maybe… murder everyone inside? Guess what it chose.

With its second victim of the day finished and thrown into the pits of hell, it threateningly turned its body towards us. Seeing the coming of the Harbinger of Death, I started my engine once more and my piston like arms went back work.

“Look” I jabbed five times at his stomach.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot here” I got up even while he still held on and stomped on him with my other leg a few times before delivering a hard kick to his side.

“But we can start things over” I pummeled his face.

“You just have to let me go” for the laughs, I took a bite at his arm which drew a few drops of blood.

“What do you say… buddy?” I nudged his body, but he didn’t respond. That can only mean one thing.

I made a new friend today.

“I’m glad we could work things out” I smiled candidly, as I freed my left foot before running away with the wind.

I heard another loud crash from behind a few moments later. As soon as I made a new friend, he just decided to migrate to a faraway place for work. Somewhere where there’s no reception or signal.

“I swear I’ll send postcards and shit!” I laughed as I simultaneously grabbed Picasso who was trying to climb a tree before diving deeper into the forest. Safety’s the number one priority, and this place here is definitely not where I want to spend my time at. Ever.

But what I didn’t know, was that the black cloud's influence was also spreading its dark web across the land.