I sensed some sort of disturbance. Everything inside the forest seemed to be on edge. From the horde of insects that scattered everywhere, to the hundreds of exotic birds that suddenly flew towards the west in flocks. Even Picasso seemed livelier than usual. He crawled all over my body as if he was trying to find some place to hide in. There are only two holes that can possibly stretch big enough for him to fit and I’m not willing to shelter him inside either of those holy sanctuaries. Other than being odd, it's nothing to be alarmed about, I think. Mother Nature's being unpredictable and bizarre as always.

Something suddenly caught my attention as I sniffed the air a few times. I could smell a faint scent. It’s something familiar. Something that's on the tip of my tongue, but I just can’t seem to remember what it was. Meat? Pork? Barbeque? I think I’m just damn hungry.

While I tried to recall what it was, I stumbled upon an obstacle along the way. A hundred-foot fall that lead to a roaring and raging river at the bottom which impeded my path.

“Can I jump over to the other side?” I took a look at my supposed landing spot and then my gaze fell down to the rapid flowing waters. There were rocks. Sharp, pointy, and painful looking rocks that should be fun to play with on a hot summer's day.

“Of course, not” I sighed and quickly put my head to work into devising a plan to cross without falling to my impending water torture. I wonder what happens when I drown, though. That would be quite the mind-boggling question, and some dumb part of me wanted to find out the answer. Curiosity killed the cat, but this pussy has an unlimited amount of lives and not just a measly nine. Assuming that I have limitless lives, though.

I surveyed my surroundings from left to right, but the opening seemed to stretch far off until my eyes couldn't see it anymore. What would Bear Grylls do in a situation like this? I bet he’d just ask his crew to cut the tape and use the chopper that's on standby. Or you know, change venue and use the miracle of editing to make a small crack seem like the size of the Grand Canyon. The latter seems improbable, but given today’s technology, I think they can make it possible.

“Hey, stop it” finding a solution to a problem is an exceedingly difficult task especially when you’ve got a spider making a cozy home on your body.

“Picasso, I need you to stop. Can’t you see I’m bus—Ah!” A lightbulb popped up with a brilliant idea. If I manage to pull it off, I mean. If Spiderman or Tarzan can do it, then why can’t I?

I looked for the tallest and nearest tree to the opening that I could find and climbed it.

“… will this work?” I asked my free-spirited companion that's completely oblivious to the danger that I was about to put him through. Even when I was about to do something irresponsible and dangerous, he only just stared at me without any complaints. I think that’s what you’d call ‘trust', or maybe he just couldn’t voice out his concerns. Whichever it is, I’m still doing it.

“This will work. This will work. This will…” I’ve always been terrified of the spotlight when it came down to business. And sometimes I even forget that I have a fear of falling when my anxiety gets the best of me. Although, I’m grabbing onto a vine and swinging myself to the other side, so technically I’m not falling. The beauty of technicalities.

My hand gripped nature’s self-made rope tightly before I screamed like a man raised by apes in the wild. But then my grip loosened just after a few feet from jumping off the branch.

Unsurprisingly, we both fell down to the river with my consciousness filing for another vacation-leave again. I need to have a word with him about his constant and unapproved departure when he returns. If not, well, a new position would go vacant in the not so distant future. I’d be glad to hire a more competent and dependable one.

Besides my stupidity taking on an active role again, I thought I was more cautious, responsible, and overall wiser than my current self. It felt like I was one of the main casts of Dumb and Dumber or the Three Stooges. I’m basically a retarded, hazardous, and nonsensical human being to be around with. What happened? Well—Shit happened.