‘(Author's rant. Not the most amazing chapter in the world. but sort of descriptive i guess.)

Kif spent a week recovering from Maina’s torture room. When he had finally recovered he logged back in to find that his respawn point had been reset to the Vulcan Lair.

[Create Lair]

Kif’s goblin companions slowly respawned and he took some time to greet them and spend time with them. The past few weeks he had barely learned half their names and knew next to nothing about these goblins that had joined him.

His first lair mate, Goblin Mi, was a young scavenger goblin. She was only a few months old and had spent most of her time living as one of several thousand orphans throughout the cave system. This had influenced her to where she was most interested in food. Kif learned that her fire magic had gotten to the point where she could cook almost anything simple. He determined that he would teach her how to make pancakes in the future. Once he had recovered from the war’s expenses.

Goblin Mu, His first companion, wanted to see the world. He had the soul of an old fashioned adventurer desiring to go out, see new things, meet new peoples, then kill them

(Author's rant. I don't know who first created that line but it’s awesome.) Mu didn’t care too much about the little things. Kif had shown him that working together got stuff done and that was all that mattered.

The elite guards that Kif had gotten from Matron Rue were named Bim and Bam. They were good with their blades and didn’t really care too much about where they were. They did care about sleeping stuff though. Bam managed to get Kif to promise to acquire the stuff to create tents and bedrolls later on as the 2 were getting tired of sleeping on stone floors. Apparently Goblin Mi fit in the chest so she slept on the leather scraps that she recovered each night.

Ebne, Ibne, Ylbne, and Obne, were the names of the 4 regular goblins that had recently joined Kif from old goblin Bu. The four were from one of his great grandchildren's litters and had been pestering their family head to let them go out and explore. The old goblin had finally decided to get rid of all the would be firestarters when they burned down one of the shacks he owned. As chance would have it Kif had come to him asking about strength so Bu had killed two problems at once by getting rid of the trouble makers and gaining a new larger cave for his family.

The 2 goblin brutes that Kif had gained from Bu were named Borg and Barg. Their family had been struggling to keep the two brutes fed as they ate a ton more than a regular goblin. Borg’s goal was to eat one of every race he came across. Barg just wanted to beat his brother in strength at some point. Since they were both brutes of equal size their passives activated every time they wrestled so Kif doubted Barg would ever achieve his dream.

Having come to better know his companions Kif left the spawn point and went to track down Matron Rue. The war had only just begun and he hoped to get some decent reward for his part in that first siege. Kif marched straight to Matron Rue’s home and pushed the door open, then he froze. Countess Vanessa Leafolder was sitting next to Matron Rue drinking tea. At the battlefield Kif had thought her beautiful like all Shadow elves were. Here though, she was radiant and he was struck dumb by it. He had a quick recovery when Matron Rue’s cup smashed him in the head though.

“It’s about time you get here.” She yelled, “Now hurry over and sit!”

Kif moved to the indicated seat at the table.

“Drink!” The matron ordered him then dropped something into a full cup of tea and handed it over. Kif looked at the drugged drink wondering what horrors awaited him when his thoughts were broken again by the Matron.

-20

-15

She flicked him in the forehead, knocking his chair over he struck his head hard on the ground.

“I said Drink you ingrate!” she commanded one more time. Realizing his health likely wouldn’t survive another forehead flick Kif downed the tea in seconds. Then everything went black.

[You have been drugged. You may log back in in 20 minutes if you survive]

“I swear i spend way too much time unconscious in this game.” He complained to no one.

20 minutes later Kif woke up to see the Matron bent over him doing something. Looking down he saw that he had gained a tattoo. A pink heart had been tattooed to his chest over where his own heart should be. Around it were the words, Rue’s stupidest Kid in black. Rue was finishing the d as Kif came to.

[you have gained. blessing of the Matron. +5 to the size of your lair through magics you do not understand.]

“You have done well child. For that Rue here has given you her blessing. I have my own gratitude for i had forgotten how good that food you found for me was. Take this, it may be of use to you.” Countess Vanessa spoke up and handed Kif a paper bound package. He blankly accepted it then was shoved off the table he was lying on and onto the floor.

“Enough,” Rue declared, “the war is still going on. We are sending out new attack forces daily. Go join one of those and don’t come back until that heart is green.

[Matron Rue has blessed you, however, you are currently too low level to fully accept the blessing. Gain more experience and return to the Matron to fully unlock its possibilities.]

Bowing in thanks Kif quickly left before the Matron decided to just kill him. She was always really angry at him for some reason. Weren’t rulers supposed to be patient or nice?

Still in the chamber Vanessa spoke up. “So that is the one who opened the chamber? I had thought we had sealed all the entrances to that damned scientists place.”

“We had.” Rue responded. “Leave it to my get to find an underwater entrance. What did you give him?”

“The true history of the world. He may find it enlightening.” Vanessa responded. “It has been enjoyable spending time with you, however my own family needs my attention. We each have changed so much since our adventuring times haven't we Rue?”

“All too much for some, not enough for others.” The matron responded as she waved goodby to her friend.

Kif decided that the first thing he would do was retrieve that axe he dropped in the sewer of Dredmonte. Then he would hide it in his chest until he found a proper time for it. Sure the thing could one shot any monsters he came across at his level, but the risk of losing such an op item was way too high to waste on standard mobs. As Kif headed out with his small warband he pulled out the package that the Countess had handed him. Opening it he held a book.

[World history 101 by Bjorn]

With nothing better to do on the walk to Castle Dredmonte Kif opened the book and read.

In the beginning there existed the gods and the titans. They fought for ages and the gods prevailed. At the end of the fighting only 6 of the gods were left along with the corpse of the greatest titan Ter. The gods took his corpse and used it to create the world we live on. They created all the plants and animals that live on the land today. Afterwards they rested, exhausted from their work. Centuries went by and the first race to walk the plane appeared. Contrary to what is said in most human histories, the first race was the goblins. Short and stupid their quick breeding and willingness to swarm anything if they outnumbered it 100 to one had them quickly spread out across the land. The gods examined this race then decided they would create the other great races to be getter in some way where they saw a flaw in the goblins. Maina of death created the demons to rule over hell. Strong and tough the demons were to be rulers, not servants. Demons were strong in the magic of death. Amalek of destruction Created the Orks, keeping the quick growth rates of the goblins and increasing their base stat growth some. Amalek gave the orcs shamanic magic, tied to fire and lightning as those where what he knew. Tywin of growth created the Beast races, taking the creatures that already existed and giving them knowledge and power. Their magic was tied to growth and enhancing what was already there. Balfour of truth combined his power with Veradin of essence to create the Human races. Wanting them to see and experience as much of life as possible they were granted some ability in all of the magic areas but no special growths aside from that. Finally Malek of Might created the dwarfs. Though their growth was slow and they bred less than the other races their physical might and focus on earth mana was far beyond any of the other races. The elven race was created as a mix between humans and Demons. No one living except for the elven empress herself knows who mixed the two races together. Not even the gods are willing to answer that question.

As for where the hobgoblins and brutes come from. I, your loving scientist Bryn created both. Aren’t i amazing.

Kif stopped reading after the first chapter. That crazy scientist whose lab was under the Matron’s lair had written this. even if it was some quest starter, it wasn’t worth some weak skill like the utility equip skill he had gained. He determined to leave the book in his chest and ignore if for the time being. Leaving the forest Castle Dredmonte came into view. It’s walls were under repair from the damage they had received. Kif entered the castle threw the main gate and saw that it was crowded with players buying and selling items. Groups were calling for allies or volunteers to help them with quests. As the closest safe zone to the Empire of light’s border the castle had quickly become a center point for the dark’s quests against them. Kif ignored the bustle until now and entered the sewer. He recast his lair moving it’s location to Dredmonte and dropped off the book. The sewer was far darker than it had been during the battle. Kif picked up a torch and started off towards where he had left the axe.

[You have entered the sewer labrinth. After the battle of Doom, where General Warclave crushed the forces of light the general had the bodies of his victims dumped into the sewer system. The foul forces at work within the castle have lead to some of the bodies returning to life as shadows of their former selves. Recommended level 40]

Kif spent a while staring at the recommended level. “ Lets see now, at level 40 as a goblin i’ll have 20 strength. i’m level 10 right now giving me 7 strength, add in the 15 strength my lair is giving me and i’m practically level 44. Alright guys lets go.” He declared. His bad math gave both him, and his goblins confidence. twenty yards down the sewer passage he hit a right turn and stopped.

[Black Slime level 35]

A slime the size of a refrigerator was sitting in the middle of the tunnel. It’s name was in yellow and it was not moving. From the battles earlier he knew that red meant guaranteed enemy. Yellow might mean neutral, Kif was unsure though. Floating in the slime was a black orb the size of Kif’s head. “That is likely the slime core, destroy it and the slime should die. Easy enough since slimes are low level monsters in these games.” Having said that Kif left his companions at the corner and ran at the slime, brandishing a rusty knife. With a leap he dove into it eyes shut.

{Gloop}

Kif reached for the core and missed. “O my god it burns!!” He cried then swallowed a bit of the slimes digestive juices. “It feels like it’s eating my soul!!” Desperate, he opened his eyes trying to find the core. “It’s eating my eyes im blind!!”

[You have been digested, Due to the slimes unique characteristics this death is doubled. Safe respawns 5->4, would you like to respawn?]

Yes

Picking himself up shakily Kif returned to the labyrinth and looked around the corner again. The slime had not moved. “Maybe it’s friendly and we can just go past.” he said to his companions before leading them towards it. When he drew parallel to the black slime in the tunnel it launched out 6 tentacles and grabbed the poor goblin before pulling him in.”Nooo, not again!!.”

[You have been digested, Due to the slimes unique characteristics this death is doubled. Safe respawns 3->2 would you like to respawn?]

Yes

Slumping down Kif shivered. The axe would have to wait. He needed to get stronger, and maybe teach the bne siblings some fire magic. That might help versus the black slime. With renewed determination he led his companions out of the sewer and back into the main Dredmonte city. There was a job listing building that listed all the quests that the Dark empire was wanting done in the area.

[Monster subjugation, capture some ogres to be trained as siege monsters, recommended level 30]

[Monster subjugation, capture and raise some wargs to be used as orc cavalry, recommended level 25]

[scout out new paths through the mountains for future raids, recommended level 20]

There were hundreds of quests on the board but most of the low level ones had already been taken by all the new beta testers who had been playing the week Kif took a break. Sighing he took the scouting quest down and headed out with his companions. It didn’t seem to involve combat, which was good considering how broke he was at the moment. Today was a friday, and though Kif had spent the morning dieing horribly to a slime, he figured he could pull an all nighter to scout out this mountain to the south.

Traveling through the plains Kif and his party ran into and slaughtered many low level monsters, this enabled them to make cheap slings from the leather they acquired. Picking up rocks of the ground gave them basic ammunition. No matter how many monsters Kif slew, he did not gain a level. “Mu, do you know why i seem to be stuck at level 10? I don’t get it.” he asked.

“MM, i think it’s because of all the lair mates maybe? I know that i reached level 9 recently. Maybe their gaining the experience instead of you?”Mu replied.

“So the more lair mates i have the harder it will be to level. That may make this difficult.” Kif murmured. If he truly needed to pull in 10 times the experience as normal to gain a level that would explain why he was stuck at 10 currently.

The discussions and random monster fights kept Kif distracted until the party was 3/4ths of the way up the mountain. There they came across a large cave opening. Kif entered it to see if it would make a good spot for his lair during their questing.

[You have entered Bile the devourer’s Cave, Recommended level for entering 400]

“Holy shit,” He whispered.” Guys wait here i’ll be back.” Dropping his common sense Kif entered the cave quietly. There were no monsters in the cave and, a half mile of walking later he learned why.

[Bile Dragon scourge, Level 500 dragon boss]

A gigantic black dragon was sleeping on top of a huge pile of gold. Kif looked at the sleeping dragon, then at the pile of gold, and had one of his craziest plans yet. He quickly left and told his companions what to do. Having done so he re-entered the cave and yelled.

“Hey dragon, wake up gots some orders for you from the boss!!”,

the dragon ignored him and kept sleeping. Kif tried several things including using his makeshift sling to hit it with a rock.

--1 damage.

“how the hell do i do negative damage.” He cried. Getting annoyed he walked up and grabbed a gold coin from the pile.

[Fear. you have been frozen in fear.]

[Stupidity activated, fear abating as you don’t understand what is happening.]

Kif turned around to see an eye as big as he was looking at him. He carefully put the coin down before starting again.

“The dark lord said they wants ya to burn the forest down.” Kif declared. The way he figured it the worst thing that could happen was the dragon kill him and then go attack the dark lord. Surely the most powerful being could handle one dragon.

“So,” it rumbled in reply, “She finally wants me to act. So be it. But first i think i’ll have a small snack.” Bile finished. Reaching out a hand as big as a small shed the dragon grabbed Kif.

“My what big teeth you have.” he managed.

[You have been eaten. Remaining safe respawns 1, would you like to respawn?]

Yes

Stretching Kif stepped out of the sewer one last time and headed towards the city gates. Now all he needed to do was wait.

{Rumble BOOM}

With a loud boom the top of the mountain exploded and Bile rose up before flying off.

[7 of your 7 companions have died.]

“Darnit!!” Kif cried. It was late, and the dragon had apparently buried it’s treasure. There was not enough time in the day to get to the dragon's cave before night and all his companions were lost. Kif sighed and quit the scouting quest. Currently he was just too low level for this area it seemed. Grumbling he went throughout the city looking for some low level chore quests to do. The alchemists didn’t want him and his strength was too low for the blacksmiths. Eventually he ended up at the Inn bussing tables and cleaning the floor. The innkeeper allowed him to sleep next to the fire after closing.

Waking up early in game (he was doing a marathon here) Kif stumbled his way into the kitchen and started cooking pancakes. He was still to sleep woozy to notice he was still in the game. The inn’s cook came in to get breakfast started at the inn only to notice the pile of cooked pancakes on a plate and a goblin cooking more. The cook, having an ingredients identification skill looked at the food before blowing up on the sleepwalking goblin.

[ Perfectly cooked pancakes. level 10 requirement. +2 stamina and +15% stamina regen for 20 minutes, Due to perfect cooking effects stack per pancake eaten.]

The cook smiled greedily then went to grab the innkeeper. Upon seeing the food the innkeeper woke Kif up. “Do you want to help in the kitchen as a cook? we could use someone experienced. I can up your pay to 2 silver a day if you do.”

“I um, I also want a bonus for every new recipe i bring in.” Kif said as he tried to wake up fully. He was a night owl, not an early bird.

“I can give you 5 silver per recipe you have, if it sells well.”

“Deal.” Kif said.

He spent the rest of the day working in the inn between cooking and cleaning and at the end of the day logged off in a nice bed to sleep. He had one full day left of gaming before the end of the weekend and wanted to do something grand with it.

[Log out]

Elsewhere……earlier that day.

“Mr. Velmont sir, are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” one of Jason Velmont’s project developers asked.

Jason: “Yes i am certain. Have 2 of the GM’s unlock the darned angel race, it’s power will be necessary if we are going to prepare the game in the next 3 weeks for only the newly forged republic of light to be playable.”

Developer: “Yes sir, it just seems that a lot of the players are enjoying being rivals.”

Jason: “Just do it.”

Mr Velmont then went back to reading the summaries of what had happened in the past few days. The newly resurrected dwarf race had taken massive losses with king Magni’s death during the siege. Additionally the beast race had lost one of their hidden classes trainers. Mr. Velmont had been forced to tie down several of his 20 GM’s to take over the important hidden class and skill trainers who had died during the battle. This left him with less influence than he would like over what was happening but it was not all bad news. The orcs had gotten too greedy and, led by some of their higher level players, had gotten most of their armies slaughtered. The orc race was thus stuck with just their main settlement. The zombies had only managed to expand once to a small swamp village north of Dredmonte and the Demons had been put into such a bad position due to their showing in the siege they were still working to earn the dark lord's forgiveness. The only two races doing well were the shadow elves and the goblins. The goblins were currently expanding their starter city and sending out expeditions to find a good place for a second lair. The shadow elves had gone crazy. The only reason that Countess Vanessa had shown up at the siege was due to the elves clearing several tough quests, additionally they were the only race who had made several successful raids into the republics defences. Reading all this Jason went and looked through all the quests that could trigger something negative for the shadow elves. The quests mainly had to do with political influence as the elves were even now low in numbers. One showed up as key. He contacted his Shadow elf GM and ordered them to attack the dragon Bile. There was an antagonism quest that would have the dragon retaliate and undo most of the influence the shadow elves had gained. It was perfect.

Having given out his orders Mr. Velmont headed home early for lunch. He left instructions that for the rest of the weekend he was not to be disturbed as he had important investor meetings to attend. Unfortunately for him, the shadow elf Haven was farther away from Bile’s cave than Castle Dredmonte.

Excerpt from World history 101 by Bjorn

[The slime race is interesting. Being one of the first races the gods created slimes are the world's trash recyclers. They were created to cleanse the world of the damages left behind from the great war and turn it into pure magic power in the form of their cores. The larger the core, the more magic available. Most slimes are almost immune to physical damage and come with an elemental type. for example red slimes come with resistance to fire. The only exception is the black slime. Titled properly death slimes, these were created to devour the pure chaos and destruction left behind by the battle, whereas the others were for clearing the bodies. Black slimes literally devour the souls of their victims. It is likely due to this targeted design being the reason black slimes hunt goblins. Goblins racial signature make them look like the chaos that is the slimes natural food.]