《The Never-Ending Search for Amusement》War #3

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OGG is marching to battle, for a third time! However, unlike the previous wars, they’re not attacking the humans at all. You see, to prevent future wars, the Coalition just built a fort at the entrance of the mountain path. They assumed that OGG was trapped, and forgot about them again. Don’t they ever learn?

The mountain path, while the easiest, is not the only way out of OGG territory. In fact, you don’t even need to go through the mountains! The mountain chain separates OGG from the Coalition, but they can go around it with boats. Which is, of course, what they did.

After sending huge armies to guard the mountain path, the rest of the Coalition was pretty vulnerable to attack. It’s actually pretty similar to what happened in the last war; the humans sent a lot of soldiers away, and left themselves defenceless.

Except, like I said, the humans won’t be attacked. It’s going to be the lizardmen! As of right now, a dozen warships, with two hundred soldiers each, are making their way to the lizardmen shores, where they’ll launch a surprise attack. Their goal is to sweep through, and destroy as many villages as they can. The other species are too far away for help to come in time! It’s brilliant!

What they don’t know, however, is that the lizardmen have Crusch. Remember her? After several years in military service, Crusch settled down in one of the outer villages, becoming a celebrated mage teacher. If they want to terrorize the population, OGG will have to go through her!

-one month later-

The orks have arrived! However, they lost the element of surprise. Seeing as fish is a large part of their diet, there are always a few fishermen out on the ocean, at all times. Even though they arrived at night, the orks were seen. The fishermen ran to their respective villages and told them to evacuate. Everyone fled to the capital, a large city with strong walls that would keep them safe. Everybody, that is, except Crusch. She told the others that she had been given a powerful gift from the gods (deities, actually), and it was time she used it. She would hold off the ork army, buying time for reinforcements to arrive. How noble!

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After the scouting parties found the villages empty, Murgash (Gothmog the third’s replacement) ordered the orks to march to the capital. They travelled along the path, and when they entered a clearing, Murgash became nervous. This was the perfect place for an ambush, after all. Except, instead of enemy soldiers lying in wait, they found- an old, female lizardman? And she said if they didn’t turn back they’d regret it? They’ve been laughing for a while, and I don’t blame them. Even if she were an elf (which she’s not), no mage can stop an entire army. Well, no ordinary mage, that is. Crusch, if you’ll remember, is much stronger than the common riffraff.

Murgash has gotten tired of this obvious bluff. To get this over with, he said that whoever kills ‘the old hag’ (his words, not mine), gets double rations for the day. Several of the greedier orks stampeded towards Crusch...and were promptly obliterated by a giant fireball. I can see the wheels turning in Murgash’s head. “I don’t think she was joking...”

Still, he can’t back down; he knows what happens to those that disappoint Exitium. So, of course, he orders everyone to kill Crusch. The warriors, albeit cautiously, are charging their enemy. The archers are providing support with their arrows and the ork mages are ready to counter whatever Crusch would do.

What Crusch just did, however, was pretty hilarious; she turned the ground to ice! Because they weren’t moving, the archers and mages are only sliding a bit. Their arrows and spells missed, but they’re already preparing the next wave. The warriors, however, were running at full speed! With the sudden change to ice, they all fell down like a chain of dominos!

The rest of the battle went how you’d expect; the orks got up, got blasted by fireballs, got up again, moved closer while Crusch was blocking arrows and other fireballs...after almost an hour, they finally killed her. But, it wasn’t for nothing! Out of the twelve hundred orks that originally attacked the brave defender, only about five hundred are left!

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Crusch set out to buy her people a few minutes of time, and ended up saving them entirely. With so few numbers, the ork’s assault was futile, and they were quickly exterminated. A few lizardmen set out to retrieve Crusch’s corpse, and came back with astonishing news; the ork army was so small because she had killed over half of them! Crusch was hailed as a martyr, and news of her sacrifice spread all over the Coalition.

*sniff*...It’s true that I don’t really care about the people of Earth, that they were created to amuse me, but...Crusch’s sacrifice really gets me…

I’m not crying, you are!

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