《Transient Fire Works》Chapter 7: What a saint signifies and what I want
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Ngggh...
My head pulses with pain as if I was beaten with metal bludgeons. I open my eyes to the sight of roaring molten fire and endless miasmas. Flying reapers ran across the red skies leaving a contrail of smokey blood and screaming out a mad laughter while carrying corpses of living beings along those trails. You could even see the wailing souls! To my right, I saw a land that was rained down by the heavens with lightning and hail. People everywhere were getting stuck left and right by huge blocks of ice or getting fried by lighting by the violent skies. To my left, the land splits and crumbles swallowing up all life with its huge gaping mouth. The people were helplessly swallowed down to the bottomless abyss. I turn around and saw that behind me was a frozen world where it looked like even time has stopped because of the lack of life. I walk to one of the snow covered boulders and wipe away the snow. Underneath were people screaming for help or holding their loved ones inside the ice. "What the? Did the world just turn into a hell hole?"
The scenery kept on changing no matter what direction I look. Be it up, down, left, right, or diagonal. Another scene of hell appears right in front of me. What what was the most common were the people. Each and every scene had people dying if not living beings screaming in terror. They all were screaming for help. But i couldn't do a thing. How can I help them? It wasn't that I didn't want to help them. But I couldn't.
Space twisted and spun around me. It gave me a great head ache but the scene of hell finally stopped. But before me were ninety nine figures. Each looking majestic, heroic, and over all serene. Each differs from the next but all had the same three traits. But most of them were covered in a darkness and I couldn't see their features clearly.
But what caught me the most was the middle one. His features were clearly distinct. His eyes carries a merciless look despite his tranquil face. his hands were pure black but his entire skin on his body was white like a ghost. His body was so depraved of nutrition that he looks like he was a living skeleton! The only thing that looks healthy was his face. I could even see the wailing souls chained to his back crying out for help but they could not speak.
Not every person in front of me had wailing souls. The first one to the far left had no wailing souls. But the one in the middle had numerous souls piled up so high that it could even pierce the sky and reach up to heaven. 'Why in the world are those souls chained to his back?'
"Have you decided yet?" The middle man ask me. The same middle man that had dark hands and countless souls chained to him. The same voice that asks me in my dreams not so long ago.
I did not have a clue as to what he meant. What did he mean by decided? Did he know about the paths to a saint?
"Look behind you" the man points directly behind me.
When i turn around, i could see that there were a huge number of wailing souls were chained to my back me. They were screaming in a profusion of languages but I knew the one word they all screamed. They needed someone to help them.
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I look down to see that in my hand held those chains that binds them. The weight increases with each desperate cries of help. The souls then turned into a hurricane and I was the eye of the storm. They slowly close in towards me and engulfs my body with their airy form. When they did touch my skin, I could feel their pain. Once the formless souls were close enough, they started to bite me.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I roar out in pain.With each bite comes more and more despair. But within those despair I could hear what they wanted to say. Some of these souls died a terrible death. Some died unknowingly. Some of the souls scream for redemption. Some cried out for me to return their loved ones.
"Shut up" a voice snorted coldly. The souls trembled in fear and stop all at once. "Sorry about that. Some of these souls can lie to people you know." The voice warmly said. I look in direction of the voice and it was clearly the middle man. Despite looking weak, his words held a lot of power.
I touch my body to see if there were any wounds at all. But there was not even a trace of a bite mark. No blood either. I look at the middle man in awe. How strong was this man?
"Let me introduce myself, I am the saint but you don't need to know my name now." the middle man said.
"Saint? How was that possible? How can you be a saint if you have all those despairing souls behind you?" i ask him
"He he... There are many definitions of a saint and many paths towards a saint. Just as there are many paths to become a hero. Don't worry about the details for now Jin. I just want you to know that on the paths of a saint, there are many trials that are just dying for you to come to them" the man smiled coldly
I felt a shock going up my spine. Despite what he says, it really makes me re-think about becoming a saint.
"Just so you know, if you do walk down the path of training to be a saint. I can help you. But also know the many lives that will be caught and be used if you do desire to walk this path" he warns me.
"Then I'll just refrain from training to be a saint and die like a normal person while doing a lot of good deeds in life" Even though i said this... I was still not sure of which paths to take to become a saint.
"Meh. It is up to you. I'm just offering you another way to become a saint. But let me ask you this. What is a saint?" His cold smile just got colder.
When I think about it, I didn't even know what a saint is. I did not even know what a saint signifies. Nor do I know what being a saint signifies. All I know is that I was given a few easy way to be a saint. One is to die a virgin while doing a lot of good deeds. The second is to die losing my v card and I would have to do more good deeds than the first options. But the third options doesn't require for me to die. All it requires for me to do is to train to become a saint. But the third option was harder because I didn't know how to train to become a saint nor do I know how hard it is to become a saint.
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"Looks like I was right wasn't I? AH HA HA HAH!" the middle man laughed
"...." It was really sad because I can't refute this person. No matter how much intelligence I have or how strong I am, I did not know a single thing about saints.
"Well no matter. I'll tell you ahead of time. Those heavenly bastards are slow anyway. They even intentionally left out somethings so that you won't know when you become a saint. How disgraceful" The man's voice was filled with spite when he talked about the heavens. "Saints are beings who enters a higher realm. Once you become a saint, it signifies that you are no longer limited by mortality and more or less signifies that you no longer bound to the world and no longer human. In the ancient era, the easiest way to attain this was to cut one's self away from the world and worldly desires. Once a person is caught within worldly desires, it is hard to cut away from the world."
What he said wasn't wrong. It is because having worldly desires is precisely what makes me human. I may not look like I have a lot of desires but I do. I desire money because I know what it means to be poor. I desire strength because I know what it means to be weak. But because I desire a lot of things, I find it hard to bring myself not wanting them.
Who wants to be cut off from the world? A person would be forever alone and never be able to have friends, families, or even kids. What kind of life would that
"Just so you know Jin. There are also many exceptions to the rules in becoming a saint. That is why I am offering you a way to not cut yourself off from the world and still become a saint. Wouldn't it be great? You could still get women and still be a saint! Or get boned ha ha!" the man was slightly joking with that last sentence i believe.
"I... really don't know. I really don't have that many desires in this world. All I really want to do is to help out my family in anyway that I can. So when I do die, I can be at peace when they die" I said to him.
The man nodded slightly in satisfaction but then frowned. "A good answer indeed. But that answer only exist for those who don't desire much in life."
"Is that a bad thing?" (o.O) I was slightly confused.
"I'm just not sure about you that's all. Are you okay? Are you sure your balls are fine as well? Did they get smashed along the way of life? Did you re questioned your own desires and sexualities that you've tossed them all away and turned gay? Or did you just turned into an eunuch after you revive despite the beautiful blonde that is with you?" he is still frowning at me. His words made my right eye twitches like crazy.
"No I am not confused about my gender and no I am not gay. My balls are not confused either. I am not an eunuch. I was born with little desires of my own because of my circumstances. Aside from my desire to help family when I become rich, I wish to help as many people as I can in this life. For those who makes my life and those around me harder, I'll destroy those people with all I have. As for women I really have no intentions of having a lover until I am able to support myself and my family. If I do have a family, I would whole heartedly support them, raise them, watch them as they grow up and then I'll die a peaceful death leaving the world with no regrets." I said almost feeling my arteries in my head popping up.
"Your balls must really be confused. You are a mentally ill and challenged child from the moment you were born and that is why your p**** is not as active as it would be for a normal person. You not only chose to devote yourself to your family entirely, you chose the path to die like a virgin. No desires, no heart, and only lives for others. You make my blood boil like a god damn volcano you half baked half ass *****." The man harshly said and I could see his veins and arteries popping up.
'What!? I am a half baked half ass what!?' I was reaching my boiling point.
"But I don't hate people like you." He then smiles.
Eh?
"I'd rather live my life like you than to be a saint. Saints are often praised because they reach the realm where most gods are. But it is because they cut themselves away from the world that they forgot what it means to live like a person. A guy like you may not have many desires in the world, but based on your words alone, when you do obtain a desire or desires; you would chase it or them down till the ends of the earth without fear of the multitude of oppressions of higher powers or rejections of your peers and blow them all away with sheer will power." The man was smiling unusually bright as of now. The other
"Of course! My father always taught me, 'If you don't work for it, it is not worth it! If it is not worth it, then there is no meaning in chasing after it! Don't lose something important as family! Should you want a family, work until you are able to support yourself!' and for that reason I did not find a lover at this age. I want the person I am chasing after to be amazing and I'll make sure that they are happy!" I stuck my chest out proudly.
The other figures then laughs out loud that the darkness that was covering them was blown away. It was then that I realize that each and every single one of them looked like me.
"Oh man. Such a big attitude for someone who fights so cowardly. But his heart is definitely much bigger than most of us at that age! AH HA HA HA!" the first one on the far left let his voice resound greatly. His voice boomed like a megaphone.
"Oh give him a rest Ren. He has more balls when he was a kid but he was slowly manipulated to be a coward. It wasn't his fault to learn to fight like that!" the man in the middle said to the first man.
It was true. When I was a kid, I learned how to fight from a hobo. Don't laugh. Despite the fighting style dirtiness, it actually helped me survive in poor world. The hobo himself also fought like this and came out victorious after many hobo hunts. Thus I used this style of fighting to protect myself and my siblings. Fairness were for those who could afford to be fair. Only when it comes to fighting in daylight and honorable fights that I let myself get beaten to a pulp. If my family finds out that I used this style of fighting, they would cry and say that I am the shame of the family. Thank goodness that I don't show it to them.
"Oh alright then. I suppose that if you are a child you would need to fight a little dirty to fend off a few gang bangers" the man smiles in acceptance. "Regardless of how he lived so far, his eyes still seemed pure like a little kid no matter how you put it. He accepts both the beauties of the world and the ugliness of the world. He detest fights and only wants friends. But that point of view will kill him one day if a person pretends to be his friend one day and back stabs him in the future"
"I don't think we have to worry about that. His mentality is still pure because of his love of fireworks as a child and his ability to act whatever role necessary when he is needed. But he can tell the difference between good and bad people. Backstabbers were never a problem for him. Don't forget, he can kill people mercilessly when the times comes. But until then he is like a new born kid" the man in the middle had a lot of confidence in me. But the way he describes me....
"Well, he did kill some people as a child. I guess some things won't pose as a problem." Ren said.
Huh? When did I kill people? I can't remember that. But when they mention that, my head started to hurt.
"Hey Ren! We weren't suppose to bring that up!" Lucian angrily shouted.
"Whatever you say Lucian. Just tell him the exceptions of becoming a saint and let the boy wake up. It is nearly morning and we are running out of time." Ren said. He was slightly mad because the man in the middle, Lucian, has a lot of faith in me.
"Hey! I thought we agreed that we wouldn't use out names until it is the right time! Ugh.. Whatever. Listen up Jin. Saints often cut themselves off from the world because they want to become stronger or to suffer less and attain enlightenment. But other saints gain their status because they embody their ideals. It is because they embody those ideals that they can become saints and some of them don't have to die to become a saint. Some embody love. Others embody life. There are many ideals to live up to. But it is up to you to reach that level in order to become a saint. If you are still unsure, just come to me and I'll train you to become a saint and you still won't have to cut yourself off from this world. Because saints that do cut off themselves from the world have a harder time remembering what it means to be human. Humans can become saints as well if the heavens deem you worthy. But not only the heavens can deem you worthy but the world can as well. Remember, the will of the heavens are the wills of the world's inhabitants and the will of those who have passed on. The will of the heavens can change. Another good way to become a saint is to master an element. But that would require you to train as a saint. But the you would have to understand the element first. The last way is to just build up your good karma that it surpasses the limits of a human good karma. So just try to live life and do many good deeds. Phew I said it all in a flash." Lucian speedily spoke all those words so fast that and I nearly missed what he said in the middle.
"Uhhh... Okay. Thanks guys." I smile in relief. A light began to shine and envelops me in its blinding radiance to signal that it is near the end of the dream.
"A warning Jin." it was Ren who spoke up. "Your world might become like this even if you don't train to become a saint. But training would allow you to protect those close to you. Just don't try to save every person you see"
*Woosh*
"Oh by the way Jin! If I were you, I would get it on with that blonde girl! She is a hard one to find! Don't make her cry either!" Lucian said before I woke up.
"SHUT UP PERVERT!" Ren shouted and I could hear a bang sound echoing.
"Ngggh." I woke up with a splitting headache from the dream. It somehow went from demonic to soft explanation on how to become a saint. Not bad, but my head hurts from listening to those guys.
When I finally came to my senses, I could smell some good food being cooked in the kitchen. I turn towards to see what time it was and the clock reads 3:00 pm. "Oh dang..." I completely overslept and forgot to make breakfast and lunch. But then the kitchen just boomed. I ran fast towards the kitchen to see what was going on.
Meracle was making some dishes for lunch. Some came out completely good. While others... not so much. What just exploded was the microwave. "How did it explode?" I muttered. I took a closer look and saw that it was plain old popcorn in a bag but the bag exploded and the microwave was dark as well. *sigh..* Microwave is done. No more life can come out of it for a while.
"Meracle? How did this happen?" I ask her. She cried a little at her slight failure. Who am I kidding. How can a popcorn explode like that? How can someone fail to make popcorn!? It was a microwave?
"See... I am bad when it comes to cooking." she murmurs in a very low voice. "I didn't want to wake you up since you were in a car crash so I thought that I could make food in your place for a while. So I went to buy fresh ingredients..." her fingers fidgets with each other. "I can't make any fancy food so I made the simple ones that I knew. So I set the popcorn to one full minute like it said in the instruction."
I looked around to see that the kitchen was a mess. The sight made my eyes bulge. The vegetables were poorly cut in the pot of soup and it didn't even look close to done. There was only about two cups of water and a lot of raw vegetables. The fish were fried but there still were scales on it and they were burnt as well. The fruits were the only things that looked fine. But when I look at her hands I smiled. 'So she still couldn't cook?'
I went to see the bag of popcorn and saw that it was open. But I also inspected the microwave and saw that the setting was all the way up high. The setting on the popcorn only needed the setting to be medium. "Heh... I see..." I said. I too make simple food everyday when I was a kid. Mostly, I messed up and had to eat the nasty burnt disaster. I would sometime make the same like she did. I went to get the first aid to apply it to her minor cuts and wounds.
Then, I instantaneously devoured all of the food she just made. Be it the half done soup, the fish that still had the scales, and the fruits that was not cut yet. "Ah! That was quite good Meracle! Sorry that I ate all of it" I put on the happy smile to hide the hideous after taste of the food. The fish still tasted raw quite a bit and the vegetables... Oh dear me.... I wasn't lying about the taste. I tasted worse. But my stomach still couldn't handle the half done fish.
Meracle looked at me with weird eyes. Eyes that sparkles like a puppy if not a cute cat. Then she jumps on me to hug my body which almost force the food that went down to come back up. Luckily I was still standing up. Using all my strength, I held it down.
"How about this? We both cook food together?" I suggested still resisting the flow of the ingested food. "What are you in the mood for Meracle?" I ask her. I really didn't want to eat anymore now. It took more effort to keep the food in my stomach than it did to keep on the smile. "What ever you want to make Jin." she said. So I went over to the fridge and pulled out a few ingredients to cook. "Alright then. Tonight, we will have curry!" I declared with a bright smile. In truth, the curry would help my stomach if I use the right ingredients. If not, I might have to barf out more than I would have to later on.
While I was cooking, I look at her face every now and then. Seeing the smile on her face also made me smile. Thinking back to Lucian's words, he wasn't wrong either. She was a good person and a rare one to find. With her, my hearts thumps. But I'm sure that she doesn't feel the same about me right now. But if possible, I want to include her in my future even if it is only for the next two years and some months.
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