When she woke up she was alone, cuddled up with Sam. She sat up wondering where Elliot went until she heard her shower running. He must have gotten up and put Sam under her arm as a replacement. She heard the shower turn off and she stood and walked over to her dresser and waited, holding the blanket over her bare breasts. Elliot came out wearing one of her pink towels around his waist.

“Good morning baby,” he said.

She dropped her blanket and he grinned walking over to her.

“Good…” she started but he kissed her, and she giggled. He sat her up on her dresser and she pulled the towel off of him and twirled it above her head and threw it. He laughed and wrapped her legs around his waist.

“We have to be quick,” he whispered, kissing her neck.

“Then quit messing around and fuck me, Alderson,” she teased. He did what she asked and she was glad the shop wasn’t open yet, as the dresser banged hard against the wall, and she screamed her appreciation. After they were done, he kissed her softly, “I wish I could stay with you and do that all day.”

“It would be nice huh?” she said pulling on some panties and slapping him on his ass playfully. He got dressed quickly and grabbed her hand pulling her to him. He kissed her until she got lightheaded, and she almost lost her balance.

“Alright?” he asked, smirking.

She giggled, “yea, I am just dating the best kisser.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s he like?” he teased.

“Perfect,” she whispered, giving him a quick kiss.

“I love you so much,” he said.

“Love you,” she said.

“I hope the meeting goes well, I’ll call you when I get off,” he said as she pushed him out the door before he was late for work.

She kissed the palm of her hand and put it on his cheek, he took it and kissed it softly before he walked quickly down the stairs. She heard him say hello to someone downstairs so the opening crew must have started already. She shut the door so no one would see her standing there in only her panties. She got ready and went down to work. The day went by quickly and she made sure everyone knew about the meeting.

Once almost everyone was gathered in the kitchen, she started telling them about her situation, not everything but the basics as Darlene held her hand to keep her steady.

“I posted a signup sheet on the bulletin board, just sign it if you want more hours and I’ll make up a new schedule to cover the days I need off and call in on a rotation if I need off to testify in court, I also wanted everyone to know about the website, the address is posted on the bulletin, I’m sure most of you know that Papi has owned this business since the forties, it is one of the oldest gourmet coffee shops in the united states, so if you want to see the history of this place Elliot has posted pictures and stories on the site, I have hired Elliot as our website manager, he has refused payment so from now on if he orders anything, don’t charge him, ummm you’re all doing a great job and I have no complaints, I’m sorry I dragged some of you in on your day off… and if you have any questions now is the time to ask.”

Britney raised her hand, and Raine laughed, “okay Britney.”

“Are you okay?” Britney asked.

“I am fine, better than ever in some ways, therapy is for getting better, so if you thought I was crazy before, you were right but I’m getting better, and the sad news of the murder is hard but I feel safer with him in jail than I have in years, and of course, I will be here most of the time, even when I’m off work so if you need anything as always, I’ll be available.”

“Well I kind of meant like, we all really care about you and the least we can do is cover a shift or two, some of us were talking and we were kind of wondering if there is anything else you need?” Britney said.

Raine teared up and put her hand on her chest, “no Britney, you’re all doing great just by doing your job, this place means so much to me and Papi and you guys are so important in keeping it going, I can’t really thank you guys enough.” She wiped her eyes and said, “okay anyone else?”

No one said anything so she said, “okay, disperse.”

Everyone went back to doing things and one by one everyone came over for a hug, she was crying by the time she hugged everyone. Once they were all back to work or had left, Raine and Darlene went up to her apartment.

“Darlene, I didn’t want to say it in front of everyone, but I want to say thank you to you especially,” Raine said.

“What for?” Darlene asked.

“Are you kidding? You’ve done everything for me, you’re my best friend and you do so much for me, I don’t know how I made it without you.”

“Don’t thank me for that, we’re sisters, you’d do the same for me, you have done a lot for me too, you gave me a chance and took me into your home, no one would look at me like you do, no one trusts me like you do, look at me, you looked past every wall I put up and got to know me,” Darlene said, “I love you.”

“I love you,” Raine said hugging her.

“Let’s go dancing,” Darlene said.

“What? Tonight?” Raine asked.

“Yea, we need to let loose and have some fun,” she said.

“What do you think Elliot will say?” Raine asked laughing.

“He can come,” she said.

Rained laughed out loud, “you’re joking right?”

“No, he can hang out and watch you dance, I’m sure that would make him happy,” Darlene said.

“Well we can invite him, but he’ll probably say no,” Raine said.

When Elliot called Raine told him that her and Darlene were thinking about going out dancing and asked if he wanted to come. To her surprise he said he wanted to come, so her and Darlene got ready in her apartment. It almost made her feel normal, to laugh and pick out something to wear with her best friend. She wore a black frilly skirt with a black tube top and her thigh-high boots. She got some really short black spandex shorts to put under the skirt in case her skirt came up while dancing.

“What’s this about, trying to be modest?” Darlene teased.

“I think Elliot will appreciate it, it’s probably going to be bad enough watching people try and dance with me,” she said.

“I’ll dance with you to keep them off,” Darlene said.

“That will probably make it worse,” Raine laughed.

They told Elliot to meet them at the shop and they could get a cab to a place Darlene knew, they didn’t plan to stay out late because Elliot and Darlene had to work the next day and Raine had therapy. Darlene wore a red leather skirt and biker books, with a long-sleeved black shirt. Raine was laughing at something Darlene said when she saw Elliot walk in. She stopped breathing for a second and Darlene looked over to see what she was staring at.

Elliot sauntered in a show white, tight sweater and black jeans, it looked like he had combed his hair back, which was rare. She smiled at him and he looked at her up and down and grinned.

“You look nice,” he said.

She nodded because she’d never seen him look like this and she was speechless. Darlene nudged her with her elbow.

“Where’s your hoodie?” was all Raine could manage to say.

“I made myself leave it home,” he said, laughing a little.

“Oh,” she breathed unable to stop looking at him.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“I umm, you look… good,” she stammered.

Darlene laughed at her and Elliot blushed, he took her hand and kissed her cheek. She wanted to forget all about dancing and take him upstairs but resisted. Darlene started out the door and Elliot walked with her leading Raine behind him by the hand. Darlene asked if he was planning to dance with them and he laughed and said no but he had a plan. Raine followed them out the door like a puppy, she swore she almost started panting watching the muscles moving under his shirt as he walked. She touched her mouth to make sure it was closed and thankfully it was. They got a cab and Elliot let Raine in behind Darlene, she wondered what kind of plan he had for when they got there, it made her a little nervous.

They got to the place Darlene had instructed the driver to take them to, and they got out. Elliot pulled Raine close and whispered, “are you wearing shorts under your skirt?”

She laughed because he could only know that if he were looking, “yes why?”

“I just never saw anyone do that before,” he said.

“I just don’t want anyone seeing things they shouldn’t,” she said.

He didn’t say anything and followed Darlene, there was a long line around the block, but Darlene went straight to the door. The bouncer looked her and Raine up and down and said, “you two are hot enough,” then he looked at Elliot, “so are you,” and he let them in without even carding them. The place was crowded and Raine could feel Elliot’s anxiety, so she squeezed his hand. He sat at a table in the corner and she leaned over and whispered, “thanks for doing this, I know you hate it.”

He waved his hand and said, “go have fun.”

Darlene dragged her out to the dance floor, and they danced together, occasionally shooing men away. Elliot watched and drank slowly, Raine watched him watching her body as she moved. It was almost a form of foreplay, and she made sure he could see every part of her in the crowd. After a while, he got up and started walking toward them. Surely, he wasn’t going to join them. She put her arm around his neck when he walked up to her, but he stopped her from kissing him.

“Probably not a good idea, sweetheart,” he said, it wasn’t Elliot.

“Oh, was this his plan?” she said loudly.

“Well he thought this way you and I could both have some fun, platonically of course,” Mr. Robot said, holding out his hand. She took it and he spun her around and she laughed. He started dancing but instead of dancing the way she’d expect someone his ‘age’ to dance, he was dancing more like someone Elliot’s age. He moved his body and she had flashbacks to watching the backstreet boys. Darlene whooped and said, “is Elliot drunk?”

“It’s not Elliot,” Raine said.

“Oh,” Darlene said waving at him, he winked at her and she smiled, dancing away. It was hard for Raine to watch him move like that knowing she couldn’t touch him. It was extra difficult because he shared a body with Elliot, who she was used to touching however she wanted, whenever she wanted. Elliot was capable of moving some of his body like that, she knew because he’d done it in bed. She bit her lip before she realized, he gave her a little look and she looked away apologetically. They danced together and she tried not to get too worked up, she kept reminding herself that it wasn’t actually Elliot.

“I didn’t know you could dance like this,” she said when he was close to her. He put his hand on her back and rolled his abs against her.

“I think you inspired me,” he said. She turned away from him and danced against his body, she was having fun but she really wished it were Elliot so she could enjoy it without feeling a little guilty. It was sweet of Elliot to give her this, and she knew Mr. Robot was enjoying it too. She didn’t get close enough to find out how much, she didn’t want to know that. If that was an issue, she’d leave it between the two of them to figure out how to deal with it. As if reading her mind, he whispered, “he wouldn’t allow this if he didn’t trust us both, relax.” She tried not to think about it and danced as she would if she were dancing with Elliot. Some people stopped to watch them, he was quite impressive considering she was partially professional, he kept up.

A while later he said, “I’m gonna go set down for a while and see if I can convince him to give it a go, everybody here thinks they’ve seen him doing it already.”

“That’s true, thanks for this, I had fun,” she said.

“So did I, keep your head up kitten,” he said hugging her. She watched him walk away and hoped he could get Elliot to dance. After Mr. Robot had set down, she found Darlene and danced with her for a while. She looked at Elliot and he motioned for her to come to him. She started to walk over and someone who worked at the club came up and ask if she wanted to dance on the stage, she refused and walked over and sat on Elliot’s lap.

“What was that about?” he asked motioning toward the man who had stopped her.

“He asked me to dance on stage,” she said casually.

“I’m not surprised, you’re better than anyone in here,” he said.

“So are you… well him,” she said, confused.

“Thanks, from both of us,” he kind of laughed.

“So, he couldn’t get you to do it?” she asked.

“Not tonight, maybe some time,” he said apologetically.

“Maybe when we’re alone?” she prodded.

He laughed, “maybe.”

“The way your body moves, if it had been you, you’d have been in trouble,” she said hoping he wouldn’t get jealous.

He just blushed and pulled her into a kiss, she pulled away and said, “I’m kind of tired, you want to go?”

“Yea, can you stay at my place since you don’t work tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yea, I’ll go get Darlene,” she said getting up and searching for her. Darlene didn’t want to leave yet, and she wasn’t drinking so Raine let her stay alone. She was going to stay at Raine’s tonight since Raine was going to Elliot’s. They got a cab to Elliot’s apartment and Raine walked in first and went straight to pick up flipper.

“Aww mama missed you so much, I haven’t seen you all week,” she said. Flipper licked her face and wagged her tail.

“She missed her mama too,” Elliot said petting flipper on the head.

“You know I didn’t bring anything to wear,” she said.

“Is that a problem?” he asked.

“I guess not,” she said, “but I want out of these clothes.”

“We have so much in common,” he said.

She giggled, “you look so hot tonight.”

She started to kiss him and then pull his shirt off, but he stopped her, “I gotta take flipper out.”

She pouted playfully, “okay.”

“I’ll try to hurry,” he said.

She waited until he left and took her skirt off, leaving her boots on, she didn’t wear a bra and her tube top looked like lingerie with her black lace thong. She decided to leave the boots on and sat on the couch for a while waiting. When she heard his keys in the door she got up and pulled a chair from his table and propped one foot on it and put her hands on her hips. He opened the door and saw her and dropped flipper’s leash.

“Shut the door,” Raine giggled. He did as she asked and locked it, then he fumbled wildly with flippers leash and she ran off, he left the leash laying on the floor. He walked quickly towards her, but she put her and up and said, “stop, sit.”

She took her foot off the chair and he sat down, looked at her, his eyes scanning her head to toe. She turned and put one leg over him, facing him, she sat and started kissing him. She ran her hands through his hair and pulled a little, he groaned. She gave him a little lap dance and took his shirt off.

She leaned over and whispered in his ear, “remember that bending me over a table thing?”

She nibbled his ear a little and he lifted her off him and stood and spun her around. She’d never seen anyone move so fast to get undressed. He grabbed the side of her thong and tore it apart and pushed her back forward, so she was bent over the table. She was sure the neighbors would come knocking any minute, but no one did. After a while, he asked if she could finish like this and she said it was okay if she didn’t, but he stopped and took her and laid her on the couch, and got on top of her. After they were done, he said, “I’m sorry about your panties, I think the boots got to me.”

She laughed, “it’s okay I have more.”

He got up and got her something to wear to bed as she finally took the boots off. She got her ripped-up thong and threw it in the trash. She saw Elliot watching her closely as he got dressed, “What? Did you want to keep them?” she laughed.

“No, just embarrassed that I did that,” he said.

She giggled, “you were really in a hurry.”

“I’ll buy you a new pair,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, “it was worth it.”

She crawled into his bed and stared at the ceiling. Elliot got on his computer and she cuddled with flipper.

“Elliot?” she called to him.

He spun around and looked at her, and she continued, “this is perfect, I just want you to know that no matter what’s going on out there or how bad it is, being here with you makes me happier than anything in my life ever has.”

He tilted his head and got up and leaned over her on the bed and kissed her, “I feel the same way about you.”

She held his face and kissed him again, “you can go back to the computer now,” she whispered.

“I don’t have to,” he said.

“No, it’s fine, I like this, I feel connected to you even if you’re over there,” she said, “is that weird?”

“No, I get it,” he said, “I felt like that when you were cooking the other day.”

She smiled and he kissed her forehead and then went back to his computer. She didn’t know what he was doing on it but she wasn’t too worried, only a little. She texted with Darlene for a while and then Amber to make sure things at the shop were good. Everything was fine with the both of them, Darlene was meeting Dom at the shop and maybe taking her upstairs. Raine hoped they could be on again for good and stop the back and forth. She was still texting dumb stuff to Darlene when Elliot turned off the lights and crawled in beside her. She let him put his arm behind her head and let him read her phone as she texted. When she was done, she laid the phone down and rolled over on Elliot.

“Thanks for tonight, it made me feel more normal,” she said.

“I’m glad, I think he had fun too, he’s been a big help to me, I know I don’t always talk about him but he’s usually around helping me,” he said.

“That’s good, I appreciate him too, let him know that,” she said.

“I will,” he smiled.

They talked about everything and nothing until she started falling asleep. Elliot kissed her goodnight and said, “I’ll talk until I fall asleep so maybe you have good dreams.”

She smiled and curled up in his arms as he whispered about beautiful places with cute animals she could cuddle with. She fell asleep feeling safe and loved.

The next morning Elliot woke her up and he was already dressed for work. She pouted at him and said, “why didn’t you wake me up earlier.”

“You looked so peaceful so I didn’t want to wake you at all but I didn’t want to just leave without saying goodbye,” he said.

“Ugh just quit your job and get back in bed,” she groaned.

He laughed, “baby, we have all weekend after I get off today.”

“Fine, but I have to get dressed before we leave.”

“No, you stay in bed as long as you want, well don’t miss your appointment, but stay and make yourself at home, umm lock up before you leave,” he kissed her goodbye and left quickly. She looked at the clock and realized he was just going to be on time if he hurried. She fell back to sleep quickly as soon as she set an alarm for later. She woke up to her alarm and flipper licking her face. She got up and turned off the alarm and saw that Elliot had texted her apologizing for rushing off. She told him it was okay and that she’d see him later. She got some coffee and wandered around Elliot’s apartment. She was tempted to snoop around just out of boredom but decided it was better not to. She took flipper on a short walk wearing one of Elliot’s sweaters, she was surprised he owned. And her spandex shorts she had worn the night before with her boots. She got some funny looks but didn’t care really, she was just glad Elliot didn’t see her like this. She took flipper back in and gathered her things, then wore a pair of his sweatpants home with his sweatshirt and her thigh-high boots underneath the pants. She looked ridiculous but she didn’t have many options and it was a little chilly out. She texted Elliot and told him she’d have to leave some clothes and shoes at his place in case of nights like last night. He asked what she was wearing home and she told him. He begged her for a picture, but she refused. He teased her about hacking her webcam to see it anyway. She knew he could do it but figured he probably wouldn’t do it to her. She closed her laptop when she got home anyway even though Elliot had forced her to tape over her webcam already. She didn’t wake Dom or Darlene and tried to avoid looking at them out of respect for their privacy. She showered and put on skinny jeans and Elliot’s sweatshirt and some ankle boots to wear to her appointment. She gathered some things to take to his apartment later and left it on the dresser. She snuck out so she wouldn’t wake the girls and went to Krista’s.

The appointment started out light with Raine updating her on everything and telling her about the night before. Krista looked shocked that Elliot would agree to go out and said, “that’s a big step for him, you must be really special.”

Raine just blushed.

Then they started talking about how Raine met Luke and the beginning of the relationship. Raine went into more detail than she’d ever gone with anyone.

“There are things that I don’t remember, like when I lost my ovaries,” she said.

“That’s normal for trauma, your brain is protecting you.”

“I remember the argument, I remember him coming toward me and I froze, then the next thing I remember I was waking up from surgery.”

“Have you ever tried to remember?”

“No, because I know it’s going to hurt, when I have a flashback like that, I feel it, like it’s happening right now, it’s like I’m actually back there,” she said.

“That’s common, but it is very difficult, do you have any ways to cope with flashbacks,” Krista asked.

“I try and do grounding exercises but that requires me to know that I’m in a flashback and not actually back in time, umm Mr. Robot helped me through one once,” Raine said.

Krista looked a little surprised and Raine told her about it.

“So Elliot yelled at you?” she asked.

“No, not at me, just at the room, he was angry at Luke, but it has happened when someone yelled loud over a football game and things like that, it doesn’t have to be anger it’s sometimes just any unexpected loud sound,” she said.

Krista wrote something down, and Raine asked her what she wrote.

“I’m making a note to start an exercise with Elliot next week, in a relationship, especially one as passionate as yours, there will be arguments in the future, it’s not unhealthy to argue, and yelling isn’t the best way to resolve them but it will happen, it’s just human nature, I want to make it easier on both of you by you understanding that if Elliot does yell, even at you, that he’s not a threat unless you truly feel like he might hurt you that is.”

“Oh, he wouldn’t,” Raine said.

“I don’t think so either, but we have to cover all bases,” she smiled and continued, “so Elliot was mad at Luke because you told him Luke took away your ability to have kids?”

“Well, he was mad that he had hurt me that badly, neither of us want kids anyway so in some ways it helped because now I don’t have to worry about it… although I do have to get hormone shots once a month.”

“For how long?” Krista asked.

“The rest of my life,” Raine said, her voice cracking.

“Why does that upset you?” Krista asked.

“Well the shots aren’t a problem, a little inconvenient to have to go every month, but it’s like every time I go, I think about why I’m there, I’m reminded of him every single month like he did something that will affect me the rest of my life and I’ll never be able to forget about him completely, it’s not only upsetting it makes me mad.”

Krista gave her a sympathetic nod and she continued, “I don’t buy into the idea that a woman’s ability to reproduce makes her more of a woman, I know better logically, but still, he took that from me, I didn’t want kids but it makes me angry that he took something from me that wasn’t his to take, he took my choice, and my organs, I mean who wouldn’t be mad?”

“It is a very natural reaction,” Krista said, “how do you express your anger?”

“What do you mean?” Raine asked.

“What do you do when you get angry? Some people scream into a pillow or listen to music or go to the gym, do you do anything to alleviate your anger?”

“I used to sing and write music, but that wasn’t about anger, it was about survival, with my anger I just ignore it… and I hope you don’t think less of me but sometimes I smoke weed.”

Krista smiled, “that’s okay, the cannabis I mean, the ignoring it part is a little more troubling.”

“I don’t want to take it out on other people, and I can’t take it out on Luke,” Raine said.

“Anger is an emotion that is a part of every human, you don’t have to turn it on someone else, but you should find a healthy way to express it, I think that is part of why you’re PTSD has remained so severe, you’ve expressed your sadness and managed the fear but you’ve never gotten to release your anger.”

“Well how do I do that?”

“Well you’ve suppressed it so deep that it might take a little bit of prodding to bring it out but I think your art is a perfect way to start expressing that, I want you to start writing all the things you would want to say to Luke knowing there will be no consequences to whatever you say, Elliot says you paint, think about all the things that make you angry and let it out in your art, and I also think I have an idea, I’d like to be there to make sure you are okay so how about a date?” Krista asked.

Raine laughed, “with you? Like you and me?”

“And Elliot and Jason, if they want to come, since we want to help Elliot get out more and help you express your anger, I think it would be perfect.”

“How is going out going to help me express my anger?”

“Simple, karaoke,” Krista smiled.

“Oh, I don’t know, that’s… I don’t know I’m not really a performer type, I sing when I’m alone,” she said.

“It could be fun, and I’d like to see you and Elliot out in public together to make sure he’s truly doing as well as he seems.”

“You’re making it about helping him to convince me,” Raine laughed, “if you want to hang out with us you could just say so.”

“I do, but I’m being honest about it being therapy-related, singing about your anger can be very therapeutic, I think it will help to let Elliot see that side of yourself as well, that you aren’t made of glass and that you have a power inside, so he stops coddling.”

“How do you know I have any power inside?” Raine asked.

“Trust me, I know,” Krista said smiling a little.

“I’m not sure he’ll agree to it but I’ll ask him,” Raine told her.

They finished their session and she hugged Krista goodbye. She went home and Darlene was there alone, Dom was called out for Luke’s case. They hung out and talked until Elliot came over after work.

“Hey umm I have something to ask you, but you can say no,” Raine said.

“Well first, how was therapy?” he asked.

“That’s a part of what I wanted to ask, Krista recommended an unorthodox method of therapy for me… a karaoke double date,” she said.

Elliot physically recoiled and Raine laughed, “believe me that was my reaction too, but she said I need to express my anger, I think she really wants to have a double date too, I don’t know maybe she is bored in her relationship.”

“I don’t know why she thinks we could spice things up,” he scoffed.

“We can say no, but she said it would help you to be social and she wants me to sing out my anger and some other stuff,” she said, “I’m sorry, we’ll just tell her we can’t.”

He sighed, “just for a little while?”

“Yes, she said the place is really a restaurant that also has karaoke, so probably just dinner with them and she’s forcing me to sing so…” she shrugged.

“I like hearing you sing, maybe if other people tell you how good you are, you’ll believe me,” he said.

“She also wants you to see my anger, whatever that means,” she said.

“I’ve been trying but you’re too sweet,” he teased, pulling her into a kiss.

She sighed, “so I guess we’re doing this?”

“It’s for therapy so let’s just get it over with,” he said.

She texted Krista that they would come and asked for all the details, she said the dress was sort of formal.

“I guess I have to change clothes,” Raine said.

“Is that my sweater?”

“Yea, I didn’t have anything else and it was chilly this morning,” she said.

“It’s fine, looks good on you, I’ve never worn it, Darlene got it for me because I didn’t have any,” he said, he sat down on the small iron chair she had in front of her closet. She took her shoes off and he motioned for her to come over to him. She stood in front of him and put her hand on the back of his head. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer, she giggled. He lifted the sweater just a little and started kissing her belly in soft little kisses.

“Elliot,” she gasped.

“Hmm?” he moaned against her.

“I was gonna get ready,” she said.

“We have time,” he whispered, unbuttoning her jeans. He continued kissing her belly and nibbled her hip bone as he unzipped her jeans. He looked up at her with his big eyes, asking permission to continue.

“I didn’t say stop,” she laughed. He grinned and got her bottom half undressed as she pulled the sweater off. He held up her panties, “these are sexy, don’t want to tear these up.”

She laughed and took them away from him and threw them across the room. He kissed her across her all around her center and finally started in and she grabbed the back of his head by his hair. He did this until she almost fell down, so she backed away.

“Want me to stop?” he asked.

She shook her head ‘no’ and went over to her mattress, he quickly got up and started toward her undressing himself. He continued on her with his tongue and fingers and she knew she should be quieter because the shop was open but she couldn’t help herself. She gripped his hair as she finished and he quickly crawled up to finish himself on her stomach. She shivered as he licked the fingers he had used on her.

“Why’d you do that?” she asked.

“You’re so good,” he whispered, going back to lick her inner thighs, then he said, “you taste like candy I swear baby.”

She giggled, “you’re exaggerating, come on you’re going to start me up again and I still have to do my hair and makeup.”

“This is why I wanted to stay home all weekend,” he said getting up.

“It’s just a couple hours then we can be the only two people in the world all night and all day tomorrow,” she said.

“What about laundry tomorrow?” he asked.

“We can skip a week,” she said, “since you’ve been a good boy and are going out, I’ll think of something special for you tomorrow.”

“I just want to be home, with you,” he said, “not just for sex, just to be with you and do what we want without other people.”

“I know, I want that too but it’s against doctor’s orders,” she rolled her eyes, “but I do love Krista and she knows her stuff so maybe it will help and maybe even be fun.”

He sighed but started getting dressed, “I guess what I wore will be okay?”

“Yea that should be fine,” she said.

She got her bra and panties on and straightened her hair, then started putting on makeup, she went for a smoky eye and nude lip. Elliot laid on her bed and watched her in her mirror as she sat on the edge of her mattress, makeup scattered on the floor around her.

“You’re watching me,” she said.

“So?”

She turned and smiled at him, “I’m done now, does it look okay?”

“You always look good.”

“Okay, but how does the makeup look?”

He shrugged, “looks like it’s supposed to, I guess.”

She laughed and threw a pillow at him.

“I am sorry about this, I didn’t know she’d want to do all this,” she said.

“It’s fine, I just was expecting to be home tonight, I’ve readjusted now,” he said.

She put on a tight black off-the-shoulder dress that hugged every part of her body and put her black ankle boots back on. Then she put on a black choker, made sure her hair was smooth and turned to Elliot.

“Okay, come on,” she said grabbing her overnight bag and a small clutch for her phone and lipstick.

He got up and pointed at her bag, “what are you gonna do with that?”

“Darlene is downstairs but she’s gotta go get some things from your place, I’m just gonna have her drop this off there… am I overdressed?”

“No you look… like someone that would never be with me,” he said.

She tilted her head, “don’t say that.”

“You do,” he said.

“Well she wants me to be angry and this is super uncomfortable so I’m already a little pissed off from the fact that I can’t breath and my feet hurt,” she laughed.

“Well you look nice,” he said.

“No more compliments, the goal is to make me angry,” she said.

“Not at me,” he said.

“No, but it’s hard to be mad at all when you’re being… you,” she said. He just grinned and she made him leave before they ended up in bed again.

They took a cab and met Krista and Jason at the address she had given them. They were waiting outside when Elliot and Raine got there.

“This is so awkward,” Raine mumbled and Elliot put his hand on her back to ease her nerves. They greeted each other politely and Jason held the door for them all.

Elliot took Raine’s hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, she knew he was nervous but at least he didn’t have to sing in front of all these people. Something she’d reminded him of more than once in the cab on the way over.

“You look so lovely Raine,” Krista said as they sat down at the round table the host had brought them to. It was near the small stage set up at the front of the room and it had a cloth tablecloth, a sign Raine didn’t take lightly.

“Thank you, so do you,” Raine said, which was the truth, Krista was beautiful anyway but seeing her in something other than her professional clothes brought out the brightness in her face. Jason was smiling at Krista lovingly and Raine looked at Elliot who was looking at his hands in his lap, she stifled a giggle.

They made small talk and ordered drinks, Raine got champagne to ease her nerves even though she normally didn’t drink. When they ordered their food, Jason ordered the lasagna which got Elliot started bragging about Raine’s cooking. She sat quietly and blushed as he went on about her homemade Italian dressing, and handmade pasta.

“I’m sure it’s great here, but her lasagna, I’ve never tasted anything so good in my life except…” he stopped suddenly and looked at Raine, panicked. It dawned on her what he almost said, and she almost choked on her champagne, she laughed and swallowed her drink.

“Oh, that’s a little inside joke, Elliot and I had our first kiss at Coney Island, we had eaten cotton candy, so our lips tasted like sugar, that’s not that embarrassing,” she said to him, saving him the real embarrassment of what he was actually thinking.

“That’s very sweet,” Krista said.

“Literally,” Jason said, which was cheesy, but they laughed to be polite.

Elliot looked relieved and put his hand on her knee under the table and squeezed it gratefully. She went on talking like nothing happened, telling them about the shop and the history behind it. Then they started in on Elliot’s job, Jason asked him lots of computer questions and Krista winked at Raine indicating that she had tipped him off on what topic to be prepared with. They clapped politely at the people brave enough to try singing but Raine could see the cringing on everyone’s faces every time someone tried it. It made her that much more nervous knowing they would probably have the same reaction to her. Krista made her go pick out a song, she told her to pick one that most represented what she’d like to say to Luke. When she saw ‘uninvited’ by Alanis she almost yelled, “that one!”

“You sound very sure, which is good, why that one?” Krista asked.

“I’ve listened to it a lot and it always made me think of him, every line, even though some of them don’t sound mean enough, all the lines mean something to me regarding him,” Raine said. An explanation she also texted to Elliot since he knew she was singing to Luke and she didn’t want him to think she was being the least bit sympathetic. Elliot didn’t respond but when they sat down, he leaned over and whispered, “don’t worry about me, just do what feels right, this is about you feeling better.”

Krista overheard him and nodded to her. They went through a couple more singers who were horrible and then got to her name on the list. She grabbed Elliot's hand on the table when they said her name, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Baby you don’t have to do it, but I promise if you do, you’ll be okay, just pretend like you’re alone, this is for you to let out all that stuff,” he was trying to be discreet because Jason was there, “you’re amazing, just focus on the real reason you’re doing this.”

She looked at Krista who just nodded in agreement at what Elliot had said. She took a deep breath and stood up and walked to the stage, climbing the stairs. A couple of people whistled, and she looked at Elliot who looked annoyed at them but gave her an encouraging nod. Krista watched his reaction and Raine couldn’t read her expression. That woman would clean house at poker.

Raine spoke into the microphone, “Hello, I’m Raine, I chose this song because someone from my past hurt me very badly, so please be kind as I try and get through this.”

She closed her eyes and imagined no one was around her, then she saw herself being with Luke, Luke doing unimaginable things to her, Luke who murdered a fifteen-year-old innocent girl. The music started and she was so angry she forgot her stage freight. She knew the words by heart, so she barely looked at the screen in front of her as she sang. During the second verse she started to cry and during the lyric break she let herself cry into her hand. She saw Elliot start to stand but Krista put her hand out to stop him. She wasn’t crying from sadness it was anger, she gathered that anger and turned it to strength to finish the last verse. When the song ended everyone in the building was quiet and staring at her, the waiters stood watching. No one clapped for a second. She didn’t care if they didn’t like it, she felt a lot better for letting out her feelings, but then to her surprise everyone started clapping and some even stood up. She was still crying as she said, “thank you,” into the microphone and walked off the stage.

She walked quickly back to their table and Elliot was standing to greet her. He hugged her and said, “I’m so proud of you baby.”

She sat and Krista said, “how do you feel?”

“Exhilarated,” she said, wiping her eyes, she turned to Elliot, “do I have mascara on my face?”

He took his thumbs and cleaned her makeup up, she saw Krista watching them, she hadn’t told Elliot that Krista would be watching their behavior with each other because she didn’t want him to feel performative.

“Is it okay?” she asked when he stopped.

“You look perfect,” he said, giving her a quick kiss.

“I have to say that was very impressive,” Jason said.

“You’re not the only one that thinks so,” said a voice behind her, she turned to see the waiter smiling at her, he continued, “it seems quite a few of the other patrons are requesting an encore.”

Elliot smiled at her, “I told you.”

“Oh, I don’t know, I kind of had a reason for the one song and I did that so…” she started.

Krista touched her hand, “then do it for fun,” she smiled.

Raine looked at Elliot who raised his eyebrows and smiled, “do it.”

“But we want to get home early,” she said.

“I’m fine, if you want to do another one or two,” he said.

“Okay, one more but that’s all,” she said, she went and found another one and they picked at their dinner until her name was called. She had another glass of champagne to loosen up more and had a little buzz. When her name was called she went back up and felt a lot more comfortable than the first time.

“I wanted to do something fun this time, and everyone is strongly encouraged to sing along, it’s ‘what’s up?’ by the four nonblondes.”

Several people cheered and she looked over at her table where Elliot was beaming, and Krista was smiling at her. She started the song and at the sexier parts, she flirted with Elliot from onstage. He grinned at her and looked like he couldn’t wait to get her home. She also knew this song by heart and didn’t even look at the screen once, she didn’t just sing it, she performed it. The restaurant sang along at the appropriate parts and cheered when she was done.

“Thank you,” she said into the microphone and quickly left the stage.

The waiter brought their check and Jason tried to pay for all of them, but Elliot insisted he pay for himself and Raine. They talked and laughed some more, and the waiter brought their receipt and leaned down to Raine and whispered, “this place is usually stuffy, because of you these people have probably had more fun than they’ve had in years, please come back soon.”

“Thank you, I will… try to do that,” she said politely knowing she probably would never do this again. They parted ways outside and said their goodbyes, and Elliot got them a cab.

As they rode to Elliot’s, he put his arm around her and said, “how do you feel?”

“Honestly? A little tipsy, I had a few glasses of champagne and I never drink unless it’s a couple of sips of wine with dinner… how do you feel?” she asked.

“I feel great, I’m so proud of you,” he kissed her forehead.

“So, you’re glad we went?”

“Very, are you?”

“Yes, I feel powerful and I don’t know how to explain it,” she said.

“I’ve never seen that side of you,” he said.

“Me either, so what do you think?” she asked.

“I love it, like the rest of you,” he said kissing her until she noticed the driver watching them in the rearview and pushed him away, embarrassed.