Alira POV

...

Just as I was about to be convinced, that all humans, bare my parents and maybe the shaman, were either despicable or stupid or both, wasting away their lives in their own filth, the surroundings got notably better. No more sinister alleys where children need cover in fear, waiting to be taken and sold. No more thugs, or at least way less of them. No more complementary piles of waste, decorating the run down houses left and right. Ah, and no more run-down houses. The houses here, while simple, looked well taken care of actually.

Honestly, all the people, I had ever known, either ignored me or bullied me or, more recently, tried to kidnap and sell me. So I was honestly surprised, that the next encounter was nothing of the sorts.

It was exactly like Mr. Only Survivor of Galdir had told me. The first orphanage was easy to spot, right where he had pointed me to. On a clean copper slab, patched over a small iron gate, a descriptive text was engraved.

GWIN DISTRICT - STATE ORPHANAGE OF THE HOLY CHURCH

Good enough.

Hatred rose out of the seemingly infinite deep and dark well that was my subconsciousness, mixing with hilarity sprung from my conscious mind. I was quite sure by now, that I was very, and I mean VERY far on the opposite side of holy. I imagined that any random priest you asked, would state it blasphemy of the highest order, just having me lay my eyes upon that gate and the compound beyond.

I suppressed a chuckle and fought down that momentarily useless anger, that seemed to be triggered hard every time I witnessed something aligned to the light, be it servants or, apparently, even structures, while I took a few steps towards and through the gate.

Interestingly enough, state and church seemed to be intertwined closely though, good to know. Another thing I noticed, was that no one stole that big copper plate, so I concluded the people feared and/or respected the church a lot. Or the state. I suspected the first though, fearing the gods was more likely than fearing a human regime, after all. Humans truly are maggots in that regard, because, really, neither was to fear.

The compound was basically a small church integrated to the side with what, I figured, was the bedrooms for the orphans and maybe the employees, a small garden in front. In that garden, a small paved path led from the gate to the church, branching off to the house next to it as well.

Soon enough, the encounter I mentioned earlier took place.

An older nun, obviously a member of this orphanage's staff, came walking towards me. Her face displayed a mixture of friendly and concerned, taking me off guard more than the new me liked.

It was clearly not faked niceness, but the honest kind of nice. The heartwarming kind.

If I still had a heart, that is.

Which I might still have, after all, I noticed. Confusing as it was, in the depths of my mind, buried below all the hatred recently filling my being, a tiny string played the melody of comfort. Almost inaudible, yes, and yet.. definitely there, right next to the bells of conscience, that rung just the tiniest bit, when the deer had died. And again, to mourn the two thugs whose lives I had taken, using Galdir as a proxy.

The song, that lost little string played, was captivating, somehow.

That feeling quickly dissipated though, leaving behind an undefined uneasy, accompanied by a slight headache.

Wiping away those thoughts, as the nun now stood before me, I fell into the role I decided to play for the moment.

“Hello, dear. Are you lost?” She spoke, in a gentle tone.

Looking like a four-year-old came in handy right now, as no one expected a small child to make perfect sense.

So I faked shyness and tears, babbling straight on.

“..I-I don’t know.. *sob* .. papa is g-gone.. *sob* .. mama d-doesn’t move any m-more..”

The look on the old woman’s face grew darker. It was obvious, that she hated the world for what it did to children sometimes. She must’ve heard this kind of story over and over in her profession, after all.

She leaned down towards me, patting my head.

“Calm down, child. What is your name?”

“A-Alira” Time to pause and snot away a little. I rubbed my eyes.

You could see the nun’s heart melting away right now. She decided to take it easy on, what she thought of, an almost toddler.

“I am Griselda, but you can call me auntie if you want. You have a nice birdie there, Alira.” She pointed towards the seemingly sleeping crow, that, in reality, was so much more than a bird.

“I-It just flew to me, and n-now it is my friend.” I starting petting the Harbinger Of War, pretending to calm down a little. The nun smiled a sad smile, thinking her plan to make me ease up a little was a success and started to gently press on the matter at hand.

“Do you need a place to stay?” She asked, avoiding to bring up what she conceived as a depressing story of my dead parents. This is easier than I imagined, I thought.

I let the tears well up a little again. “Y-Yes. My h-home is g-gon... Can i-i really stay... a-auntie?”

That childish “a-auntie” sunk into her heart deeply, i could see that. Not being capable of feeling guilt sure was a useful tool sometimes. Basically, i could tell whatever lies i saw fit, without feeling anything.

Except that i actually felt the reminiscence of guilt, lodged somewhere into my core. Damn it. It seemed that after i had changed, the effect suppressing my feelings eased just a little over time. My new me hated this, yet my former self welcomed the tiny blips of feel, like a man dying of thirst welcomed the rain. I would really have to sort out the nuances of my current state of mind, soon. Since Galdir’s appearance, i didn’t have a moment of rest, bare the few moments in that black behind everything. And fortunately, it looked like i would have time on my hands soon enough, as the elder nun nodded in response. It was like she suspected, after all. I was all alone, at least in her view. I was just satisfied, my ploy had worked out so far.

“Sure, Alira, dear. The others are having their afternoon lunch right now. Can you follow me inside? Or do you want me to carry you?” She asked while giving me a hug.

“I can f-follow auntie.” I gave her a shy smile.

“Shelter and food secured, at last, bitches!” I shouted silently, to no one in particular.

Galdir stirred a little, feeling his master’s satisfaction.