…

…

…

Its dark.

Very dark.

It’s not like I’m blind. I can perceive the darkness around me, though I can’t see or feel anything.

Not even my arms or legs.

I can barely feel my body, or what feels like it, at least. I can move it around, squirm for a bit, and touch the base of it, whatever it is, with my head. Though the latter might be inversed.

But no hands, nor arms. No feet, nor legs. And its not like the numb feeling of them being cut off of blood. No. I just can’t feel them. Like they don’t exist. I remembered the feeling of, well, having them. And this is clearly different. Too different.

Not even like how amputees feel. I know how it feels to lose an arm. And this is just so different.

That sucked, big time. You get itches you can’t scratch, pain you can’t comfort, and sometimes you act like it was there, maybe even lose balance and trip as a result. Basically, it was horror, although only for a while.

Now, compare that to this. I just can’t feel it. I can’t even imagine it. As if I wasn’t supposed to have hands in the first place. Same goes for my legs. But even then, I don’t feel incomplete.

In fact, I feel content, complete. Feels natural, as if I never had legs and arms. I KNOW I had them before, so where are they now? Dammit, it’s too dark!

I should’ve been panicking right now. Screaming my heart, soul, and ass off. But I didn’t. Somehow. Well, that somehow is the fact that I can’t. That too, is gone. Or at least, my throat is, I think. I can feel my mouth, my tongue, and my nose. That’s something. Though now after I feel it further, I’m pretty sure this is not a human tongue, or mouth for the matter.

Dammit, I have no vocal cords and I must scream!

I think I can somewhat make out my mouth details. I swear I feel like having additional muscles in the roofs, something that definitely don’t belong. As I still am partially numb, I think I’ll get back to it later.

Focusing on one question while a million more is scattered around won’t bring me anywhere.

As if I can focus at all!

…

…

Urmgh… Body’s numb, memory’s hazy, and I feel like crap all over, internally and externally, mentally and physically. But whew, okay, at least now I actually feel like I’m starting to get conscious enough to collect my thoughts.

Okay, what did I do before I sleep?

So I can’t remember.

Huh. Well, not the first hangover I’ve gotten. Back for that later.

Let’s try this again, shall we?

Hangover yoga, as how that guy taught me. Who’s that guy again?

Damn, can’t even remember him? Him, brain. BFF, gambling idiot, weebmaster69? Ugh, whatever. Okay, back to the yoga.

Breathe in…

…?

Breathe in….

….what?

Breathe in….?

BREATHE IN…!?!

WHY CAN’T I BREATHE IN?!

O-OH GOD! BREATHE IN! BREATHE IN!

FUCK!

OH FUCK!

GODDAMNIT BREATHE INNN WHAT THE FAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!--

*blp*

….

….

….

….

HWOAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

Okay, fuck, calm down, calm down, don’t waste the precious air you have.

Calm down.

Okay.

Did I pass out?

I think I did.

….?

Yeah, I definitely did.

Okay, calm down.

Breathe in- no. That didn’t work.

Fuck, hold that panic back down.

Calm down and feel around.

Feel around the face, search for blockages.

Move around a bit, sense if the air changes.

Hold up, isn’t this liquid?

Okay, feel the air- err.. liquid around your nostrils.

Liquid all over me, I think. I can catch a glimpse of air or three, but that’s when I intensively squirm.

Alright, it looks like for now, I don’t need air. Or more accurately, I can’t breathe. I don’t know what’s going on, but it doesn’t seem like I’m dying. I might need to be careful, but I’m alive, at least. Am I incubated and line-fed? Can’t see, can’t feel much aside of basic bodily outlines, too.

Oh, yeah. Body. Hmm…

…

Aside of the arms and legs, I think I feel fine. I feel like I have a spiraly butt, though, however wrong that may sound, and however weird that may seem. And on the tip of the spiral, I feel like I can flex it around. Oh, I moved a bit. I can undo and redo the spiral a bit. I can move the tip around a bit. That’s it, I guess? I mean, there’s nothing else I can feel that I feel a need of testing on.

I can barely squirm around, and it feels like there’s a lot of liquid surrounding me. There’s some sort of hard lining around me. I can’t seem to find a corner on this encasement, even when I tap my tip to it. Ball shaped, I guess? Well ain’t that peachy!

*sigh*

Okay, let’s recap. I’m missing all my arms and legs, in total darkness, in a ball filled with mostly liquid, without need for air, with inability to breathe, and what seems to be a new appendage, this butt tip.

Am I in a sealed container? But why would I need to be in a sealed container for? Am I being quarantined? No, that doesn’t seem right. I never really got anything serious. The most I got was Malaria, which is fully treatable within today’s healthcare tech. No genetical disorders either. I’m pretty sure I’m as healthy as can be….

…yeah, aside from habitual sugary drinks consumption maybe. Thai Tea was the rage, don’t blame me.

Back to the point. No genetic illness, no infected illness. I can cross sickness off the list, for now.

But then, why? Was it due to my arms and legs missing? But I thought I’m only missing a left arm? No, not even the whole arm, only up to the elbow. Why was it gone again? Uhh, it was… uhh… accident, I think? Oh yeah, a crash. Fell over a motorbike, and the truck behind ran my lower left arm clean.

Okay, I guess I can remember more now. So, this place, body, darkness…

…

Whoa, I’m gonna have to stop you right there. That’s right, back down. Keep that panic and mental chaos down in the gut. That’s right. Back down. Calm down. Hold it in. Yes, that’s right.

“The body may be hurt, the brain may be mad, but the soul stays calm.”

At least, that’s what mum used to say.

…

Hmm, mum. Where would she be now? Yeah, that’ll be a light topic. Distract myself of this entire fiasco.

So, mum. Hmm…

We moved to the suburbs, then to the even more suburb-y area. We stayed there for years, with little brother. So where is she now?

Oh yeah, we were picking dad up for reconciliation, I guess. We were driving down the interstate highway, cruising in a peachy 60 miles.

Wait. Oh yeah.

It doesn’t matter.

We died.

Wait, we DIED?-

-Ughh...

Okay, before that improvised mental dam burst, lets run down the whole story.

We were in the highway, just continuing the drive. Then there’s a police chase, with a shootout. Few cars chased by lots of police cars. Someone swerved and created a chain reaction, I think. Did we hit the chain crash?

Hmm…

I remember it more clearly now. The entire chase became a shitshow, everyone crashing on each other. Dad tried to dodge, but eventually got hit right from the side. The car rolled and rolled, and we landed in a ditch.

A T-bone to a 00s MPV straight to the right side isn’t exactly something we can survive, I guess.

Damn, that car was faithful to the family.

*sigh*

As for me…

If I remember correctly, there’s puddles of blood. I can see my ass covered in blood and grime, with an impaled steel bar for good measure. Whole body twisted. I can only sat in there and slowly lose consciousness. Dammit, I shouldn’t’ve recalled all that.

I REALLY shouldn’t’ve recalled all that!

I did die. Did I?

Did everyone else survive? Did I survive?

No, I definitely survive. I can feel my body right here.

Wait, no.

I didn’t.

I’m definitely dead.

I’M DEAD?

NO WAY I’M DEAD! I’M STILL HERE!

BUT THAT CRASH! I'M DEAD!

NO!

NONONONONO!

AM I DEAD? AM I ALIVE?

WHATTHEFUCKHAPPENEDTOMEDAMMITAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHghk-

….

….

….

….

HGAAAAHHHHH….!!

Christ on a stick! I fainted again, did I?

Okay, calm down.

Calm down.

Dead? Alive? It doesn’t fucking matter dammit!

Just...just calm down…

Breathe in…?

BREATH- oh yeah, that didn’t work either.

Dammit! Calm back down!

Okay, this is harder than what I wanted it to be.

Stomach my panic back in the guts now. Calm down. Calm…Down…

Okay…

Whew… Now, where were we?

Oh yeah, literally, where were we?

Here.

Obviously, but here where? Oh right, in this rotund casket filled with strange liquid.

Wait, why am I here again? Why... am... I… here….

….

Oh yeah.

I died.

Okay, right, fine, I’m convinced. I definitely died. But I lived. Lived? No, let me correct myself. Yeah, I’m dead, but then I’m alive.

But how? 2019’s science can’t explain any of this shit! Nope, none of it. Is this life after death? Heaven? Hell? Purgatory? Samsara?

Is this hell? A dark liquid-filled casket with no light whatsoever? That’s soooo cheap! There’s no way this is hell! Or is it?

Hmmmhh…

Well, the only other reliable explanation is reincarnation. Either the religion one or the literature one. I mean, I’m definitely dead before, so that must be it.

Reincarnation, huh? Never thought all those jokes would be real. I wish they were real, as plopping in some other world on a field is still better than this. For all I know I might be a fetus in some underground lab miles away from civilization.

I might not even be human anymore, because I don’t recall having a sharp tip for a butt. Gautama will have to be responsible for this! Or God, or whoever that is!

Hmmmhh…

“I might not even be human anymore” huh? As much as I don’t want to admit it, its closer to the truth than anything. I can only feel this tip, and I can control it somewhat similar to a tendril. Coupled with the fact that my arms and legs are bygones, might I be a snake of sorts? I mean, putting two and two together, and if say this liquid-filled structure is in fact an egg, then I mean, it IS possible.

But am I going to accept this explanation?

NOPE!

Scientific methods man. I have the hypothesis, now I need the testing.

For the sake of simplicity, lets say that I’m indeed in an egg.

That means I’m still a fetus of sorts. And that means I can still be anything. Maybe a salamander? Or a lizard?

The thought of that only broke my spirit further. I do want to say no to myself, but once you latch on to a quite solid theory, it’s hard to let go.

Not to mention that-

THE FUCK IS THAT?!

Something’s floating around my vision, just out of reach from the focus. Something boxy, with a line across or sorts. It’s not that faint, but looks blurry since it’s in the corner of my eye and it seems to follow my vision wherever I look. It looks like an icon of sorts?

Its really noisy too!

Well, no its actually not. It’s just the first true sound I hear since however long I had been awake.

I try to stay still and focus on the ‘icon’, and it looks like it worki- AAAHHHHH!!!!!!

IT BURNS!! SO BRIGHT!!!

CLOSING MY EYES DON’T HELP!!!

DAMMIT ARGH ITS TOO BRIGHT!!

….

Once my eyes adjust to whatever this is in my vision, I waste no time analysing it. If you gonna decide to burn my eyes just like that, you better be something useful!

Randy, I know you won’t remember me, as I had to erase your memories of our conversation after you died. It’s me, God. To recap, you just have to survive and grow big. Anyways, I forgot to give you something. Once you’re out and about you’ll be able to see a particular skill, and that’s something I want to test. Oh, and I will be giving you the UI early because I had woken you up early. Thought you might get bored. Just wait a few days and it should come to your vision.

XOXO, God

T H E . . . .

F U C K ! ? ! ?