《Demonology For Morons》Pet Care For Morons

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Chapter 12

I start to move away trying to figure out which direction those humans came from, if I can figure it out then that means we can also find where my pet used to live. I get a few steps before I realize she hasn’t followed, so I go back and grab her hand. When I do she lets out a squeak. So cute. Now I know what people mean when they say adorable pets can heal you. After I herded her so she could be “reunited” with her parents I could just feel the fatigue of being chased by those wolves floating away. I even got two levels out of it. I wonder how that works. I only got one level for stomping that idiot to death but two for showing a little girl her dead parents. Well I’m sure I’ll figure it out, I am a genius after all.

The girl starts fidgeting like she wants to say something, but I just ignore her. Eventually she works up the courage to say “Umm where are we going Mr. Demon?”

MR! HOW RUDE! I am very clearly female. Can’t she tell by my slightly lighter shade of red, also my slender and adorable figure? Maybe I made the wrong choice in this pet. I turn and glare at her and wonder if I should kill it and find another. Best to do it early before you get too attached. She must know what’s coming because she gets a bit pale and starts shaking a bit. Tears start to form in her eyes and she tries to pull her hand out of my grip saying “It hurts!”

Just like that I feel the anger flow out of me, how could I stay mad at her when she looks at me like that. I kind of want to pat her head but I feel like I shouldn’t reward bad behavior. Though it’s not really her fault, with these clothes it’s probably hard to tell anything about me. I let go of her hand and she starts to rub it. She then says in an even quieter voice “Uhmm I need to go to the bathroom.”

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Ah, I’m a bad pet owner. I didn’t even consider the needs of the pet. I scratch my cheek and nod, and then look away. What other things do pets need? I gave her an apple I found while leading her to the bodies, so she should be good on food today and if not there’s always the meat back at the clearing. Though I don’t know how she’d react to that so we’ll file it as a last resort. We’re looking for wherever she used to live, so that takes care of shelter. Is there anything else? I don’t know but I feel like I should be prepared in case something comes up. Maybe I can steal a book about it?

I also want a way to communicate. If I have to listen to her call me Mr. Demon all the time I really will kill her. I could just tell her, but then I run the risk that she’ll want to talk more if she knows I speak her language. However it’s mostly because of the fact that my voice is annoying as fuck. I mean even I hate it and it’s my voice. I could always just write it down…

I find a stick and write simply “I’m a girl” in the dirt and wait for her to come back. As she comes back, I kick myself because I realize I just missed an amazing opportunity to hide and see her react to being lost in the woods again. There’s always next time I guess. As she looks at me, I point at the ground. She looks and then gets embarrassed and responds with “Sorry. Its just you’re so covered in blood and kind of smell so I thought…” Then she realized what she said covers her mouth and backs away from me.

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I ignore this cute behavior because she’s right. I haven’t washed since… ever. To be honest while being covered in the blood of my enemies or even just innocent bystanders feels great at the time; it’s not so much after it dries. Then I look at her and write “Like you’re much better.”

Then she looks at her hands and arms seeing the blood from those bodies she tried to move and starts to cry again. Normally it’d be fine but now I’m in a hurry to find some water so I grab her arm and go back to dragging her through the forest while I hear sobbing noises behind me. As I keep dragging her I start to think, I know I haven’t trained her properly yet but if I have to drag her everywhere without her following, maybe this pet thing was a mistake. Maybe it would have been better to stay alone or I could always get a leashe.

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