We arrived in Reykjavik at around eight the next evening, local time, and kept walking on until nine, when we reached a hotel called The Townhouse, one of the few establishments in the world that had come through the turbulent times of the nanocloud spread and had existed in both the old world and the new. It even had the same owners as before, although now they were physically much younger.

Quickly, we ordered a pair of rooms next to each other. Thankfully, the establishment was relatively empty right now, so there was no problem with adjoining rooms, and that was as well, because Eveline demanded she be able to check on my wounds throughout the night. Not wanting to get into a protracted debate, I agreed, hoping that she would at least let me sleep for some of the night, even though we would have little to do on the freighter the next three days.

"I knew we should have stopped and set up camp," Eveline told me after examining my wounds in her room shortly after we finished checking in. "How long has this been bleeding for?" Her words were cutting, her expression furious.

Part of me was somewhat happy that she seemed to care enough to get angry that I would risk myself on this journey. Another part of me was tired and wasn't interested in getting into it right now. "Seriously, it's nothing," I told her.

That only irritated her further. "Say you get internal bleeding, and that causes a blood infection-"

"Blood infection- Ev, I don't know if you know anything about my nanocloud, but I haven't had any type of infection, disease, illness or poisoning since I woke up here. My nanocloud has a medical directive to destroy all foreign-"

"My point is, you're pushing yourself too hard. You risk making it worse."

"And I don't have a choice," I told her. "I have to get to New York while there's still a chance. If they get that data, or if they stop me from getting it, then my whole journey was pointless. And I have no way of knowing what they'll do with it when they do get it."

"How do you know they haven't already done these things?"

"I don't," I admitted with a sigh. "But I have to try and get there, as quickly as I can."

"You need to give these a chance to heal," she began again.

"We'll be on a freighter for three days. That'll be plenty of time," I insisted. "Fuck sake," I muttered.

Eveline glared at me. "You should have paid attention to the fight and never let your guard drop," she told me once again, her expression hard, her glare furious.

"When are you ever going to get off my back about shit, Ev?" I sighed for patience. "Look, we have to get up tomorrow, so let's just get some rest," I didn't give her a chance to object, instead pulling myself up so I can get out of here and get to my own room.

I really needed a night to myself, one where I could just relax, be by myself, and not have to focus on anything or anyone. Stepping into my room, I kicked the door shut, dropped my backpack on the floor, walked over to the bed, and dropped the keys on the bedside table. The surroundings were almost luxurious. Compared to the rooms Ev and I had stayed in over the last several weeks, this looked utterly palatial. Connected to this room was an en-suite bathroom with heated floor tiles, a large bath that I knew I would never get a chance to use tonight or tomorrow morning, and an overhead shower. Back in the main room, the bed looked luxurious, and had to be at least a king-size. Wanting to get some proper sleep, I walked back toward the bed, about to strip off my clothing.

There was a loud knock at the door. I felt my ire rise within me, and I stalked quickly to the door, without even pausing, slammed it open, and snapped "I really don't feel like getting into a discussion about what I'm apparently doing wrong, so if you don't mind, I'd like to be left alone this evening!" I then slammed the door in Eveline's face, leaving her apparently stunned outside the door.

I'd barely even turned to walk back to the bed, before there was another loud knock, this one much more like a gun going off.

Angry now, I swivelled back around, opened the door again, and shouted "What?!"

Eveline stood there, her eyes narrowed, and if looks could kill, I would have died on the spot. "Is this how you treat everyone who knocks on your door?"

"Damn it all to fucking hell, Ev, what is it that you want from me?!"

There was a moment of awkward silence between the two of us, Eveline's face, as per fucking usual, was unreadable.

Figures, I thought irritatedly.

"Nothing," she said flatly after an unbearably long silence, and started to walk away, only to turn right back around, her face giving away frustration and a pleading look that I just couldn't be bothered to deal with right now. "You know, I thought that maybe we could just talk and relax this evening. After all, we've been at each other's throats for weeks now, and I thought maybe it would be better if we could stop the pettiness and have a real honest conversation for a change." She pushed me back into the room, kicking the door shut behind her as she sashayed her way into the suite, forcing me to step back.

Of course, that just pissed me the fuck off.

"You've been almost daily on my back about my mistakes for weeks, ever since we left Dortmund, up until you went and started tracking me to Berlin, then picked right back up where you left off when you joined me on the trip here. Excuse me for thinking you just wanted to come in here once again to give me a piece of your mind about how unreliable I am, how naïve I've been, how inept I am at keeping secrets and how I've put people in needless danger-"

Then, at that moment, Eveline did something that shocked me into immobility and silence. She stepped right up to me, grabbing my cargo pants to unfasten them while reaching around to grab me by the arse. The whole thing seemed ridiculous, and I quickly came to my senses, slapping her hands away, stepping back, feeling even angrier than before. Eveline's face expressed shock and hurt to such intensity that I recoiled for a moment.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I demanded, shocked at what she had just tried to do. "I'm not even remotely in the mood for games, here."

"Are you serious, Rick?" Eveline hissed. "You're still putting clouds of pheromones out all over the place-"

"THIS?!" I snapped, my voice reaching a volume that caused it to distort. "AGAIN?!"

That caught Eveline up short. After a moment, she barked "What?!"

"I told you just before we arrived in Sevenum, that just because I'm putting out clouds of sex scent, doesn't mean I'm going to rip your clothes off and fuck you right then and there," I growled. "And just like it means I'm not automatically going to force myself on you, it also means you have no business assuming that just because you have that effect on me, that it's just fine for you to start molesting me any chance you get, when it suits you."

"Dammit Rick," Eveline shouted. "We've been at each others' throats for too long. We need to relieve the tension-"

"You should have asked if it was OK before you started assuming," I cut her off, furious. "You told me once, that you're not a sex toy for anyone else's amusement when it suits them. Well, neither am I! I've had a really long day, and all I wanted was to relax and not have to deal with any arguing, or conflict, or any of that shit before we had to get on the ship to Canada. But you assumed I'd be fine with you barging your way into my room and grabbing me? We've never even spoken about getting together in such a fashion, and we sure as fucking hell haven't spoken about whether it would be OK for either you or I to start touching each other like that."

Eveline stood there, her face almost statuesque. Oddly, her tail wasn't swishing around agitatedly. It was sagging, almost touching the floor.

I kept going. "You're a very attractive woman, Eveline. I've told you this before, but you are a difficult person to be around at the best of times, and I can't just ignore how you keep treating me with hostility and contempt. I really don't know where I stand with you most of the time, and it's draining and damaging. In fact, the last time you and I did anything like this, you rejected me and threw me out. I'm not even close to eager for that to happen again!"

After a very lengthy and uncomfortable silence between them, Eveline spoke again, her tone subdued, her eyes watering, her face contorted in pain. "I wish I could explain it to you," she said, almost whispering. I sighed, forcing myself to calm, taking a breath. Honestly, just seeing her like this was breaking my heart. It touched part of me that I'd thought long dead, a part of me that just wanted to take her in my arms and promise her the world.

It took everything I had to ignore that part of me. Indulging my tendencies in that direction would likely backfire and make the situation worse, given Eveline's proven volatility. Without taking my eyes off of her, I told her gently. "I really wish you could as well, Ev. I desperately want to understand."

At that moment, Eveline winced, tears rolling down her cheeks, absorbed by the soft fur of her tiger-stripes. She stared at me for a moment longer, and then, fist clenched, she stepped slowly to the door, opening it gingerly with her hand, and stepped out. It slowly closed, but not before I spotted blood on the door handle.

Wait, what was blood doing in here? I looked at it, and realised it was fresh. My nanocloud carried out a very quick analysis, and concluded that it could only have come from Eveline herself.

I thought back a few seconds to where she was standing with her fists clenched. Looking down to where she had been stood, I noticed a few drips of blood on the carpet. Had she stabbed her own palms with her claws?

Was this her way of self-harming?

I let out an explosive breath. Fuck it all to hell, I thought. This situation was getting messy. Clearly there was a past trauma that was causing her to behave oddly around me, and it always seemed to be the case that if the two of us seemed to be getting along too well, she would automatically find a way to sabotage the progress we had made. I wondered what exactly it was that she was afraid of.

Friendship?

The risk that our attraction could lead to something longer term?

I had no illusions about any future with her. She was a cat-like person after all, and cats loved to feel safe yet free to do as they wished. She was clearly not the sort of person that enjoyed being tied down, and her instincts to stalk, to hunt, to do so many cat-like things was obvious. She was alluring, and while she had been sexually active with me on one occasion, I was unaware of her being promiscuous in any shape or form. I also didn't know if I'd be able to handle it, given my past history and the deceit I'd had to deal with from my ex.

There was a piece of the puzzle missing here, and without having an honest conversation, there was no way for me to figure it out, but the chances of having an honest conversation about this with Eveline was about as likely as it was that she'd play a game of chase the tail or get into a pillow fight with anyone.

I frowned in concentration, as I'd thought I heard a desperate cry that seemed quickly muffled. I didn't hear it again, though, so with a heavy sigh, I resumed my night ritual and prepared for sleep, taking a little extra time to clean the miniscule amount of blood on the door handle and the carpet before finally heading off to bed, to try and get some sleep.

The next morning was subdued for both of us, as we met in the downstairs breakfast area. We were both packed up and ready for our trip to the freighter terminal to get our ship, and it was due to leave soon, so there was almost no conversation, and our meal was quick.

As had happened in Sevenum, one of the wait staff turned out to be a complete arsehole to Eveline, immediately earning him my ire. This time, unlike the other guy in Sevenum, this guy wasn't oblivious to my irritation, and instead, tried to correct his behaviour. Still, I was in no mood for fucking around, so I was as terse with him as I was with the last waiter that thought to treat beast folk like slaves or second-class citizens.

Eveline did attempt to call me to task for interfering, but I glared at her with all the fury I felt at the injustice I continued to witness. This time, I said nothing, and she subsided, going back to her breakfast.

In truth, I was disturbed by many things I was seeing lately, from Eveline's volatile behaviour, to her apparent self-harm. I had no idea how to deal with any of this without her active participation, and there was simply no way I was going to get it from her. It left me in a position where I could only watch her hurt herself by closing off to the world around her, feeling helpless to do anything about it. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair, to me, to her, to anyone else who knew her.

It also didn't help that the injuries I'd picked up in that ambush yesterday were still relatively fresh, though the sleep I'd gotten overnight had allowed my nanocloud to repair a lot of the damage, leaving me with tender scar tissue that I suspected would soon disappear, to leave only flawless skin and muscle in their place. Nonetheless, until those wounds were fully healed, I'd still have to deal with some discomfort, especially as dealing with internal and external bleeding was the nanocloud's priority, above repairing the damaged muscle tissue and internal organs I'd had damaged along the way.

I then wondered if it was a good idea to ingest anything at all, and queried my nanocloud about it.

Host digestive tissue damage has been partially repaired.

Some digestive discomfort is expected.

Significant effects of an inflamed digestive tract will be mitigated by direct intervention of nanocloud in affected region.

Caution recommended when ingesting any acidic products for the next twenty-four hours.

I was somewhat relieved by this assessment. My nanocloud must have made my digestion a priority because of its' need to obtain blood sugars, as well as my own need to keep my body fueled.

It didn't take long for us to finish our breakfast, and then we made our way to the harbour terminal where we knew our ship was waiting. Once we were aboard, we were quickly assigned two separate cabins in different sections of the ship. This would be the first time that Eveline and I were not co-located for any sleeping arrangements since Berlin, and for wholly different circumstances.

It felt weird.

Still, once the ship had boarded a few additional passengers, it cast off from the dockside and began a slow journey through the water until it hit ocean, increasing speed so gently that I would not have noticed if not for my nanocloud and the enhancements it had made to my senses.

We were on our way, now. Three days, and we would arrive in Canada.

I headed to my cabin on the ship as soon as I was sure we were under way, and was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

When I woke up, I got my first good look around the cabin I'd been assigned; I'd been too tired to care when I fell asleep earlier.

The first thing that stuck out for me was just how unbelievably small it was. I'd had to curl up on the bunk, because while it was somewhat wider than I'd expected, it was still incredibly short for my height. It was also small enough that had I still been the sixty-year-old fat guy that I used to be, then I might not have much room to get comfortable at all.

The walls were metallic, painted over with a beige paint, with the pipes leading through the ship all clustered near the ceiling. It was also relatively short, not being designed for tall people to do much of anything other than carefully walk about the space. Even the hatch-way leading into the cabin was fairly stooped, requiring that I duck underneath so I did not hit my head.

I spent some time thinking over everything that had happened. Eveline continued to occupy my thoughts, but if I kept trying to go over everything that was happening with her, I'd find myself running in circles, so I determinedly put her out of my mind while I focused my thoughts more on the other aspects of my journey since waking up.

The organisation that had arranged my capture and imprisonment were still out there, and it had become clear to me that they were very powerful and far-reaching. After all, I was certain that Lena was one of their agents before Eveline had killed her. Suzie might have been, though what a hybrid would want in associating with obvious human-centric people like those who were after me at the moment, I couldn't guess.

Regardless, I had this awful feeling that harvesting people's nanoclouds for what they could get was only a secondary objective. Given the existence of nanoclouds with module-builder capabilities like my own, it shouldn't be an issue for people to develop their own code, their own functions, their own modules, to fill in gaps that they otherwise would never be able to exploit. One thing that had become obvious to me, long before the outbreak ever happened, was that nanotechnology applications were diverse, numerous, and possibly even limitless. I was seeing evidence of the possibilities every single day, and the existence of hybrid people pretty much confirmed it, because such combinations of genetics would be impossible without the nanotechnology aspects not only to establish a decent genetic pattern to begin with, but to regulate and ensure the continued health of any such subjects who came into existence.

Of course, that led me down a dark path all by itself.

How many of the beast folk alive today were successful experiments that were created on the first attempt? How many were only viable after several failed trials? And if most of them were the result of continual trial-and-error, how many others came into existence, only to live a life of pain and suffering that no-one would have any power to alleviate? What about failed genetic experiments where the results were a non-viable organism that was doomed to die in agony? What about those who had been created relatively healthy, or were the pinnacle of health, but were deemed unsuitable by their creators and thus scheduled for extermination? It hadn't escaped my notice that Eveline herself seemed to be a near-perfect blend of woman and beast that would no doubt satisfy certain peoples' kinks back in the old world, and I had no doubt such tendencies existed in this one, but what if her own genetics were just the latest in a series of trials in which cubs of her lineage had been deemed unacceptable because their waist-to-hip ratios were wrong, or they weren't docile enough?

What if Eveline hadn't managed to get out of her own confinement?

I felt sick to my stomach at the idea of her being killed as a cub, having never had a chance to grow up with parents like Laurent and Aline, having never had a chance to make friends like Amélie and Charles, Philippe and Caitlynne, or the countless cubs she has helped grow at the orphanage where she'd worked.

Utterly unthinkable.

How many others never had an opportunity to grow as she did, purely because their creators had decided they weren't perfect, or were somehow deficient in other ways, or worse, because they were too independently minded, too willful, too intelligent?

I couldn't help the rage that this caused within me, and my nanocloud immediately clamped down on the reaction, understanding my need to be in control of my own thoughts right then. It helped, and I was soon able to think clearly again.

How many facilities existed around the world that had this kind of thing happening all the time? How were they getting provided with resources? What was preventing them from being permanently shut down? And why did the kinds of people who fed the appetites that made these kinds of facilities so profitable become so powerful in the world?

I had so many questions, but no answers to any of them.

Sighing, I stood and walked out of my cabin, locking it behind me, so I could go get some air on the deck.

Eveline was stood on the deck, leaning over the side, looking at the surf as it played over the side of the hull. I was fascinated by this sight, because it highlighted her curiosity about the world around her. Cautiously, she leaned over the side of the railings and swivelled her head along the length of the ship, the ocean breeze catching her hair and blowing it out so it billowed around her.

I tried very hard to ignore the sight, but something must have alerted her, because she pushed herself back slowly, turning to face me, her face a stony mask.

Great, I thought. Just as I was about to turn and walk off, she called out.

"You going to just stand there looking at my arse all day, or will you join me?"

With a sigh, I stepped forward, joining her by the railings. "How are you?" I asked.

"Fine," she said off-handedly, before looking back down at the ocean water.

"You know me better than that, Ev," I told her as quietly as the ocean noise would let me. "I'm not asking to be polite."

She ignored me, continuing to look out at the water, until she pushed back to a standing position before turning to me. "I'm fine, Rick," she said with a sigh, looking subdued. "What you said to me last night got me thinking. There are things that I haven't told you, and they would explain a lot of what I've been doing."

This was progress, I thought very quietly to myself. I wasn't sure what to say about it either.

She continued. "Truth is, I don't know if I'll ever tell you why, but I've been doing what I can to distance myself from you for... Reasons I don't know I can trust you with yet."

"Allow me," I said abruptly, tiring of this circuitous and evasive way of talking about her issues. "You fear imprinting, and you fear the consequences of handing that level of control over to someone else."

The look of horror on her face was quickly replaced by rage. "How fucking dare-", but I cut her off dead.

"Oh no, you don't get to be angry at me for that," I snapped at her. "You don't EVER get to be angry at me for that. Never. You don't have the right."

"I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT?!" She screamed.

"NO!" I roared right back at her, causing her to flinch. "Your parents are worried about you, as are your friends, and from what I'm seeing, they have every fucking right to be. You've shown me almost nothing other than hostility from the beginning, outright contempt at times, disdain at others, and the few occasions where we have been getting along, you seem to want to find a way to sabotage our forward progress. When we parted ways at Rheda-Wiedenbrück, I called your father to speak about what happened. He told me a few things about what happened to you, enough that I know what is really bothering you. And he's worried. So's your mother. So's Amélie, and all of your friends back home."

Eveline was breathing hard, her look murderous, her tail swishing angrily. "Still, it's not your fucking business-"

"No, it's not, but I've been involved anyway," I snapped. "And if you want to know why they told me, then think about it. They can't be here. They're thousands of miles away. I'm here. I can talk to you, even though you think I'm not worth shit."

"Don't start that again-" Ev started.

"I don't want to hear it," I stopped her cold, naked fury in my voice. "Your actions speak very clearly to me. If you thought I was worthy of your respect, you wouldn't be getting angry at me for knowing something about you that concerns people who love you, for fuck sake, Ev. They're worried! They..."

Shit. I didn't even know what to say at this point. I was just ranting in reaction to her anger at me knowing something about her that she didn't tell me herself. Instinctively, I reached out, grabbed her hand and forced it open. She fought against me, and she was incredibly strong, but I was determined, and as I forced open her palms, I saw the claw welts deep within her palms, still raw, still bleeding a little.

"Holy fucking hell, Ev!" I gasped, staggering back. "What are you doing to yourself?!"

"Don't pretend like you care," she hissed, her expression of pure rage causing me to recoil.

But I was done being afraid of the consequences of our actions.

"I'm not pretending," I told her sharply. "I've been trying to be your friend, and yet all you keep doing is pushing me away. No matter how hard I try, no matter what effort I put into it with you, it'll never be good enough."

"Just leave me alone," she hissed, and I was abruptly tired of this exchange. Without another word, I turned on my heel and stalked off back in the direction of my cabin. "Where are you going?"

"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone?" I asked over my shoulder, not breaking stride.

I don't know how long I sat alone in my cabin, but I was lost in a maelstrom of my thoughts. Eveline's continued hostility was draining, and for once, I couldn't focus enough to think of anything else.

It therefore came as no surprise when I heard a knock on the door, that I was already irritated and not in the mood for anyone's games. I stalked over to the door and opened it with a slam, causing Eveline to flinch as it did.

"I'm not in the mood for arguments or games-"

"Neither am I," she sighed.

"Then why are you here?" I asked pointedly. "If you're not in the mood for arguments or games or pointless conflicts and petty bickering, then why are you standing at my door right now?"

She said nothing, her eyes downcast. This was different. "Please just let me in. I don't want to stand outside where people are likely to see us."

I felt conflicting emotions at that point. Part of me wanted to bring her in and let her stay for a bit, to get whatever is going on in her head out of her system, or so I could help in some other fashion. Another part of me dreading yet another argument, wanted to send her away so I could get some proper rest.

In the end, I stood aside and gestured for her to step inside. She was short enough that she didn't need to stoop to walk through the hatch, and I didn't know why that observation occurred to me at the moment.

"Mind if I lie down?" I asked. "I'm a little tired and don't want to stand on my feet. Plus there's not a lot of room in here." She nodded hesitantly. That struck me as odd. She was never hesitant before. I arranged myself comfortably on the bed, moving so that I was wedged right up against the wall. "If you want, you can sit."

Again, she hesitated, then she lowered herself gently to the edge of the bed, her tail curling up next to her, as she sat hunched over, her hands falling in her lap. For some minutes, she continued to sit like that, saying nothing. "I know this is weird," she spoke up eventually. "But can I stay here tonight?"

I was surprised by the question. "Why?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbow.

She turned back to me, her eyes damp. "I just don't want to be alone."

I could see the conflict in her eyes. Part of her wanted to stay with me. Another part of her was worried about the implications. "If you don't mind that I'm going to go to sleep soon," I told her, hoping it would eliminate any concerns from her mind. "I'm somewhat exhausted."

She nodded hesitantly, before looking back at her hands. I allowed myself to fall back onto my side, putting my pillow under my head, lying in the corner of the bed to give her room if she wanted to remain seated.

To my intense astonishment, she kicked her feet out, reclining onto the bed alongside me, her back to me, her golden mane tickling my nose before she tucked it down underneath her. She lay there for a few moments, saying nothing, her breathing slow, carefully controlled.

"Ev," I called gently to her, and her ear twitched.

"Yeah?" Her voice was like velvet.

"Please don't get angry," I started, hesitant. "I've been worried about you since the phone call I had with Laurent."

She turned slightly so she could see me, a frown creasing her head. "What do you mean?"

"Let me try to explain," I said, taking a breath, trying to gather my thoughts, as Eveline continued to frown. "I know you fear the consequences of imprinting on the wrong people. I mean," I paused, as a flash of outrage crossed her features. "I'd have to be an idiot not to see the obvious there."

"I suppose," she admitted softly. "A lot of what's happened in my recent past ties in with what happened early on in my life. I-" she stopped, swallowing hard. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't know if I'm ready to share it all with you yet."

I shook my head. "Of course," I told her. "I've yet to fully earn your trust."

Her eyes began to water as I'd said those words, and she took a deep breath. "Allowing myself to trust anyone is hard, Rick," she said, her voice shaky. "It's not all about whether you deserve to be trusted."

I nodded. "I know there are occasions where I said some unbelievably stupid things," and I paused as I thought about our night in Dortmund. "And I wish I knew not to say what I did in Dortmund that night-"

Suddenly, she broke down and started to cry uncontrollably, curling up as she did.

"No, Ev, I'm sorry!" I blurted out, my concern overriding all sense of caution. Without thinking, I drew her into my arms, cradling her as she vented whatever feelings she was dealing with, as she let loose great heaving sobs that wracked her body, her eyes tearing profusely as she gasped out anguished cries. I did the only thing I could, remaining there, stroking her hair, cradling her, resting my head next to hers, until the worst of it was over, and she began to settle down, her body relaxing and stretching out. I kept stroking her hair, cradling her gently, until she relaxed fully. "I'm sorry," she said eventually, her voice hoarse, her eyes continuing to water as she let out the occasional sniffle.

"Don't be," I told her. "I can't begin to imagine what you've been feeling."

"I can't promise I'll be any different tomorrow, Rick," she told me in a mournful tone. "I've lived with this for a lifetime, and there are very few I trust."

I nodded, understanding that progress was slow, even though we seemed to make some already. "I hope one day, I can earn that trust," I told her softly, stroking her face as she looked at me, her expression a curious combination of afraid, confused and comforted. "Even if it takes me a long time."

For some moments, we lay together, her face relaxing fractionally. "I think I need some sleep now," she said after a moment. "I'm feeling tired."

I pulled back slightly, rolling myself around slightly so I was laying as flat as possible while giving Eveline some room to lie flat if she wanted. "Good night, Ev," I said, looking toward her face.

Unexpectedly, she reached forward with her lips and kissed my cheek, letting out a sigh as she did so. "Good night, Rick," she answered me, before pulling back, and to my astonishment, she draped an arm over my chest, snuggling into my side, before letting out one more deep breath and closing her eyes.

She was asleep in moments.

I, on the other hand, stayed awake for almost an hour, nervous and desperate not to let it trigger a response that might offend her.