Chapter 8: Persona

I have begun to notice a change in myself. It started out minuscule at first,but now, it has become exceedingly easy to be seen...the alterations in my psyche.

The stronger I become in this world, the more evident my changes become.

Because of these multiple days of slaughter and carnage, no not just that, but also because of the nature of what I have become, a transformation as been initiated in my mind. I am becoming more openly lustful, cruel, vicious, and calculating.

These aspects of my personality, while they may have existed in me previously. They were not this evident in my nature before.

I am not afraid of my mind changing. In fact I welcome the change, yet I feel, that if I do not establish a system of values for myself, before this transformation is complete, I stand to lose track of who I originally was.

I know am a monster, but I don't want to become evil. neither do I have the motivation to be a force for good.

If this world is lawless, I don't want to be taken advantage of, and if this world has laws, I don't want to be bound by them.

I want to be strong, the strongest in the world if possible.

I want people to look to me with admiration, jealousy, or fear

.

I want to be cruel, yet I don't want to bully others, and mostly I want women....

I was no longer the sickly Adam Crane from my world, who lived a life of regret.

I was The Ghoul Adam Crane, whom from now on, could be one hundred percent true to his nature, after all what's the use of living twice if I held back.

I was healthy and strong now.

Potential was open to me to harness. I had no need to hide anything from the world.

let anyone judge me. Who could judge me? my parents?

And even if some one wanted to judge me all I needed was to be strong enough to resist.

But being that I had a human mind, originally from a civilized society. I wanted rules for myself to live by and never cross.

I didn't want to be depraved,

Rape,Murder, thievery.

If this was a society ruled by strength, then those crimes existed.

I wanted women, but the idea of forcing them against their will disgusted me to my marrow.

I wanted money, but the idea of wantonly stealing from anyone, went against my pride.

I had to murder, it was in my nature. But the idea of my actions hurting innocent people, and ruining lives made me depressed.

So I had to establish a line to not cross. Never would I cross that line into full depravity.

I could kill, but only enemies,and things I deemed as food.

I could steal, but only from those that had too much or didn't deserve what they had.

And I could have women,but only if they agreed to be mine. I would never let the demons inside change that.

Establishing my own personal code, I decided to exit the ruins, and look at the sun for the first time since being reborn.

I believe while ghouls maybe nocturnal creatures, they probably had no aversion to sunlight,however since it would be my first time testing this theory out, after arriving at the exit, I allowed my left hand to poke outside the door as I grasped the warm sun rays with my fingers.

After a couple minutes when I was absolutely sure my hand wasn't melting. I fully entered the light.

Although I had been on several excursions into the forest, it felt like I had arrived in an entirely new area, a world of vivid green.

The sky was still obstructed by a thick canopy of leaves, but the light that escape through gaps in that canopy, illuminated the vast forest from the pitch blackness of the night before.

I could see the color of the moss that grew on the ground, I could see the brown bark of the trees, and while there were still a multitude of silhouette outlining the forest. They did not arouse my vigilance, as much as they did in the night.

While not completely clarifying my goal in life. I had at least outlined the way in which I would live, and so feeling a tremendous exhilaration, I wanted to get started down my path.

My first goal was to become stronger, so I felt a wild enthusiasm to hunt alone, if I could get a step ahead of the pack I would remain an alpha in my generation. yet still being a low level ghoul, I just couldn't bring myself to wonder the forest randomly.

The reason ghouls hunted in packs was due to the fact that were weak individually, compared to the other monsters in the forest.

If I was going to hunt on my own, I needed to be very careful.

Thinking to this point, I decided to climb a tree. From a higher vantage point I would be able to discover my prey,while avoiding creatures that would otherwise put my life at risk.

And after a moment of haphazard searching I found a perfect tree that overlooked a large expanse of the forest, and I began to climb.

As I arrived not more than halfway up the tree, I began too sweat profusely and breath exaggeratedly from the arduous climb.. I really needed to rest, and because of my poor foresight I still only had fifteen stat points assigned towards strength.

Although I had leveled up four times over the course of a few days. I decided to save up the points till I knew how to allocate them.

Now regretting the decision, I could only force myself to continue climbing through pure will power.

Eventually when I was close to giving up, and collapsing from exhaustion, I finally manage to reach a branch, and pull myself up onto my belly.

Breathing hard, I lay there for a couple minutes, gazing at the scenery around me, and clearing my mind of useless thought.

........

After I had finished recuperating, I began to slowly inch forward and looked over the edge of the tree. I watched multiple gathering of beast and animal. and mapped out several paths to take in my mind.

when I would return back to the ground I would have to mark the trees differently so I could identify the way back.

Looking around in circles for prey, it wasn't long before I saw a weird shadow on the ground, skimming along at a tremendous speed.

I watched from fifty feet above the ground as the shadow continued to travel. And circle around several spots. 'What is that' I thought.

.....

I raised my head, and for a moment we looked into each other eyes, not uttering a sound.

CaaaWw

A large two headed bird, with bright red feathers, and completely black colored talons and beck gazed at me from above. as I gazed back at it, it suddenly arched it body forward and began to dive in my direction 'Crap'

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I hate the way this thread crap work, I cant do any sorta editing till I have already posted the chapter. anyway I wanted to post this chapter yesterday but computer trouble, expect a chapter nine sometime tonigh after I finish editing .

sorry for the hiatus guys. this is just what happens when a amatuer writes a story. life gets in the way.