《Fighting for the Lord of Earth》Chapter 28 - Good Luck

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Kohn didn’t panic when it was decided that he’d be the one to test the suit’s ability to protect a life in space.

He didn’t panic when he was launched out into space. The g-forces threatening to make him pass out. Though if he was completely honest it was more exciting than terrifying.

And he didn’t panic when he saw all the Jzanna around him. Which was weird because he did panic at seeing one of them. He guessed that it was because they couldn’t kill him more than once, so multiple Jzanna were simply just overkill.

But Kohn definitely panicked, a little, when he heard an alien, from an intergalactic space kingdom, use a phrase that was previously only ever heard on Earth.

[Oh shit.]

Here he was. In the middle of an asteroid field that was so long, that it was impossible to tell where it began or ended; surrounded by enemies that terrified most living beings, and he panicked. Like a frightened child whose parents were doing a bad job of putting up a brave façade.

“Oh shit?” He repeated like a confused parrot. “What oh shit? What do you mean oh shit?!” He became more and more concerned the more he repeated the phrase. “What’s happening? SPEAK TO ME!”

[It’s alright Kohn. Settle down. We’re just thinking about what to do now…don’t worry-I mean. There’s obviously plenty enough to worry about, but just don’t get yourself too worked up. Stay calm and everything will be alright.]

He didn’t know Leete too well since they didn’t have a lot of interactions, but it was obvious to him that the man wasn’t use to critical social situations.

Waiting patiently with a sack of unrefined metal over his shoulder and a pickaxe in one hand, Kohn barely noticed it, due to all the asteroids blocking his view, but the fleet was slowly moving away from him. On a course directly away from the asteroid road.

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“Uh, where are the ships going?”

[…]

“You’re not leaving me are you?”

[…]

Their silence was just as worrisome as Leete’s speech. When no one answered Kohn’s panic subconsciously pushed him past denial and straight to anger in the five stages of grief.

“I swear if I get out of this alive I’m taking a shit on everything in the armory and I’m going to get the stickiest substance I can and pour it all over your stuff Leete!”

Kohn had accidentally found out one day that Leete was weirdly freaked out by the feeling of something that was sticky. To this day he still couldn’t remember what he had hung from a sock. All he knew was that it dripped green.

[BOY! IF YOU EVEN TRY-HUMPF BURR BIVVV DURR!]

It sounded like someone had gagged the Armorer and it wasn’t as effective as it should have been. Obviously Leete was trying to mute the equipment master, since he grunted with the effort of trying to speak and hold down the struggling grown man.

[Calm down Kohn. OWWW! NO BITING!] Leete called out before the sound of a larger struggle could be heard. He called other subordinates to take over in the subjugation so that he could speak with Kohn again to explain the fleet’s departure. [Get his legs! Don’t put your hand over his mouth! Of course he bit you, he bit me! Use it! Hit him on the head!] A loud thud and things were calm again.

[Kohn, you know we can’t risk losing the fleet… uh, in the unlikely situation that the Jzanna do wake up, that is. So we want to create some distance between us and them for maneuvering.]

“Then what’s the plan for me?”

[Right, a plan. Well, I can tell you… that we have one. Alright…?] Kohn wondered if Leete knew how unconvincing he sounded just now. [The best option is to just have you launch yourself away from the asteroid belt without using magic.]

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“You want me to weave through space, without killing myself on one of these rocks, while not using any magic?”

[Correct.]

“Maybe I can get some of this black stuff out here. Its looks pretty sticky…”

[…Ple-please don’t…]

He knew that it was the best of a bunch of worst plans, but there really wasn’t a whole lot of options.

If the fleet tried to kill all the Jzanna there was a good chance that the fleet would be over run and best case they’d get away with major casualties. If they tried to use long range spells it would still end up with a big fight and casualties. And if they tried to use the Phantasms they’d end up losing more people and resources.

“What if I just used the boot jets a little? That way I don’t end up splattered on one of these rocks.”

[When you entered the road it must not have been enough magic in directed at those black spots for them to feel it. But after the eyesight transference spell more of them have limbs sticking out from their hiding places. I’m not sure if they would feel it, but we can’t take that risk. Visually we’re confirming more of those spots all over the asteroid road and some of them are quite large.]

“It’s a good thing no one suggested I try to bring it back when everyone thought it was a rock.”

Leete nervously chuckled as he agreed.

[Yes, that wouldn’t have ended well.]

“So that’s the best that you can come up with? Don’t use magic, push myself away and pray that I don’t wake up the Jzanna or get splattered on a rock?”

[…yes…]

“When we get through this, you and I are going to have to have a serious talk about your communication skills.” Kohn sighed, inwardly trying to summon the courage for this stupid, suicidal maneuver he’s about to do. “Alright. Wish me luck!”

[I wish you luck?]

“Please don’t say it like that.”

Kohn watched for a moment and jumped with all his might.

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