《Fighting for the Lord of Earth》Chapter 5 - No Business

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Kohn Lowson was just one guy among millions of Americans. And like some people, he went to the gym before going into work. It was a habit of his that he had spent months trying to build in order to stay fit enough for his extracurricular activities/hobbies.

Initially it had caused some problems with his boss when he showed up worn out, but she eventually stopped verbally berating him. Now she just pushed her anger into nibbling on her pen whenever she saw him come in from the gym, before he went to the lounge to change into his work clothes.

He had just started his own particular workout regimen when the TVs went to a special bulletin screen and the radio system at the gym went silent. Then the emergency broadcast started.

He was fairly shocked to find out that aliens existed, but he didn’t let that stop him from his workout. He only had a few hours before he had to go to work.

The TVs showed coverage of the alien spaceships entering a geocentric orbit around Earth and one of them landing somewhere in Africa.

They looked fairly plain if he was being perfectly honest. TV shows and sci-fi pictures had long since developed a large variety of possible alien ships, but these looked more like a series of cut gems or rocks rather than anything eye catching or special. All of the hulls were smooth with no attachments; no guns or antennae to be seen anywhere.

Kohn was just starting a series of isometric exercises, with a weighted vest on, when the aliens that looked pretty much like humans learned enough to start talking with the gathered assembly at the landing zone.

“Of course they would need time to learn how to speak to each other. They are aliens!” Kohn couldn’t help to say that out loud, but luckily no one was close enough to hear him.

Their language sounded like a mix of Romanian and French, but their appearance was more like a knight, a hunter and a fantasy scholar. “Weirdos.” he muttered under his breath.

He paused mid push-up when he felt the pulse move through his body. Maybe it was because he had his hands on the ground, but he swore he could actually feel the earth as it spun faster and watched as the sun raced across the horizon.

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When the command to launch the nukes was given he honestly thought it was stupid. Fixed positions on Earth trying to use unguided or non-seeking missiles to hit moving targets in space. Not only that but it takes approximately 8 and a half minutes for the fastest rocket in a stand still position to go from ocean level to space.

That’s more than enough time to avoid the missiles or shoot them out of the sky.

The televisions didn’t show what happened to those ships after the bright mini-suns appeared in the sky, but considering how the assembly in Africa were suddenly reporting over 4000 simultaneous nuclear missiles were now being lunched, the ships were probably fine.

That pulse went through Kohn again, but this time he thought he tasted anger. Is that possible?

The other people at the gym, who should have been working out, but were all huddled around the TVs, suddenly were all having a fit. Cell phones were in hands and they were yelling to the people they were trying to talk to.

“Should we maybe run?”

“What do you mean the nukes are falling back down?”

“No, stay there! I’m coming to get you! You hear me? I’m coming for you!”

“Yeah, hello? Yeah I’m not paying my mortgage bill. End of the world and all…”

“Since we’re all probably going to die I just want to let you know that I hate you and I slept with your sister! HA! What do you think about that? What? When could you have possibly slept with my dad?”

“Yea-huh. Toilet paper and bananas? 2% milk is fine?”

Others were running to their cars outside before speeding down the road while one guy actually just started to loot the place.

Kohn watched with rapt interest at everyone’s reaction while finishing up his reps. He took a shower before leaving, feeling a little creeped out at the silence in such a large gym.

Wondering if work will still operate normally today he tried calling his boss. “You’ve reached the office of-HEY! STOP THROWING THINGS! Um, sorry Darcy speaking how can I help you?” Darcy was his boss’s secretary who worshipped the ground his boss walked on… and sometimes slept on.

His boss, Karina, was a 28 year old woman who’d already been through 2 divorces, had a kid out of high school and yet somehow managed to attend college, work part time and create her own business. In that last few years that has boomed and become so profitable that she could have retired by now if she wanted to.

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Anyone would admire the woman and most of her employees would lie to congress in a heartbeat for the abnormally huge salaries and great benefits package.

“It’s Kohn. I tried to call Karina directly, why didn’t she pick up?”

“Because! Karina completely drank a bottle of tequila when the aliens showed up on the news and is now trying to take off all her clothes while screaming at them.”

Sounds of a struggle could be heard on the other side of the phone as Darcy tried to convince her to put her shirt back on.

A quick scream from Darcy was followed up by the sound of a heavy thump. Then Karina must have picked up the phone and thought Kohn was an alien.

“HUH!? What? You big *HICK* handsome aliens come to take my daughter, eh? We just started to make money! Don’t destroy my business, you! Come back *HICK* in a few years after I’ve *HICK* had a chance to take a vacation! I’ll strangle you with my shirt! WAAA!”

Another thump and the phone was quiet.

“Guess I don’t have to go into work today. As a matter of fact I probably shouldn’t. Last time she got drunk she made me get drunk. There were so many golf balls to clean up after the bakery incident.” Just remembering it sent shivers down his spine.

To this day he never found out how Karina had managed to get her hands on over 17,000 golf balls. He certainly wished he had never found those pictures that explained what they did with them that night.

“Breaking News. We go live now to the White House where the President of the United States makes a public address.”

“My fellow Americans. Today we’ve received proof that life exists outside of our universe. We have been visited by extraterrestrial beings.”

‘Well duh. Thanks Captain Obvious.’ Probably no less than a million people had that thought.

“Through some method that we don’t know, these visitors have taken control of the very planet itself. In response, the US launched its nuclear missiles at the alien spaceships. Some managed to hit their targets while others were knocked out mid-flight and are now scattered around the planet.” Yeah, most of America saw the massive smoke trails from the rockets. What else?

“I regret to announce that our strongest weapons had no impact upon their ships.”

He looked off camera at someone else for a brief moment before continuing. “Our planet. Planet Earth, has been taken over.”

‘Well shit.’

“They do not want our lands. They do not want our water. Nor do they want our precious metals and minerals. What they want are the only other thing that exists on this planet that we previously thought never existed anywhere else in the galaxy. They want us.”

“We will peacefully become a member of their intergalactic kingdom.” The President looked like he’d rather bite his tongue off than utter these words. “We will be the vassals under Prince StoneTooth, son of the Great King StoneTooth.”

“We are not alone in this decision. Every country in the world has agreed to become vassals to the Prince. I am sorry.” Clearly he went off script, but Kohn was certain this wasn’t the end. Whenever someone is taken over there are always new orders. New restrictions. New laws.

“As proof of our loyalty to Prince StoneTooth, approximately 160,000 American citizens will go with the Prince back to the Kingdom to be trained in their ways of combat. To be trained as either a warrior, a rogue, or a mage.”

!!WHAT!! They’ll be teaching us magic? Kohn was eager to hear more about what these people will be doing in the intergalactic kingdom.

“I am asking of the American people for a few brave souls to volunteer for this… honor. However, we have only been given 2 rotations of the Earth or approximately 48 hours to gather an immediate 6,000 or we will be considered a rebellious country and… be erased. As such, a mandatory draft enforced by every law enforcement official and military member will be implemented immediately at this time…”

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