It was a peculiar feeling, being on the run in enemy territory. Sirens blaring, every inch of the corridor a hazy red, and the splashing of water as I rushed back to the rendez-vous point. I felt like I was in the middle of Operation Impossible, except that the dashing Tom Voyage was replaced with a four-year-old slime who was carrying a golden dildo in one pseudopod.

...And before you ask, the reason I brought it with me was because it seemed like a waste to leave it behind, especially after what I'd done to get it.

"There he is!" A voice yelled from up ahead. Running towards me from down the hall was a guard brandishing a shortsword. Behind him, two armed guards splurted out from the wobbly walls. With the red lighting causing the walls to resemble flesh, their emergence looked like a disturbing birthing scene.

"It's a slime!" One of the guards screamed. "Activate your anti-magic!"

Charging forwards, all three imbued their blades with mana, and then converted it to a type that I couldn't perceive anymore. Absorption mana, I presumed.

To make sure, I fired two basic air bullets at the first target, which he extinguished with a simple slash of his sword. He didn't even slow down, the bastard. But then again, that wasn't the idea...

Sssssssssss...

Behind my back, I had casted Jux by summoning two rifts placed twenty centimeters apart like hamburger patties. Tiny clumps of sand were thrown into the bottom rift, which then appeared at the top, only to fall back down and begin the cycle anew. This was a technique that I had modeled over the infinite loop phenomenon. Over the past several seconds, they had been steadily gaining velocity due to gravitational acceleration, and were currently approaching the speed of sound. But because of the great distance between me and my targets, I couldn't fire them just yet. Meanwhile, the mana consumption was taking a rapid toll on me, getting worse as the teleportation rate rose.

To my dismay, the guards were moving slower than I would've liked. Sixty meters away... fifty meters... They were either wary of my spell, or they were just in disbelief that their enemy was a child. Whatever the reason, their speed visibly faltered, and I struggled to maintain my mana output. I only had about 30% remaining. Thirty meters... twenty... NOW!

I thrust my two pseudopods forwards to activate the third macro'ed rift in front of me while simultaneously cancelling the top rift of my elevator.

Poof!

A nearly-silent spray of sand shot forth like a shotgun, each clump travelling close to 300 km/hr. The guards did their best to protect themselves with their swords, but these were not mana-based projectiles, rendering their Absorption blocks useless. The sand tore through their flesh, and the guards' unearthly screams resounded through the halls. One guard's eye was ripped off by a clump of sand, and another's hand was ravaged with holes, causing him to drop to his knees and let go of his sword.

Before the guards could regenerate or retaliate, I immediately cast a Chaos Field around myself and blasted each of the guards' faces with a ball of Chaos mana, slipping through them in the midst of their confusion and pain. A hundred meters in, I switched to Absorption type mana to hide my presence.

Phew. The rendez-vous point was right ahead.

'What the fuck happened?!' Coffee asked. She was drenched head-to-toe in blood, meaning that she probably ran into some guards already. Currently, the two of us were back at the intersection where we had split up.

'Uh... I broke through a barrier to get through the gate, but I ended up finding this instead,' I grimaced, holding up the golden dildo I'd been carrying all this time. Now that I thought about it, maybe that's why the guards faltered... the fact that I was holding a dildo?

'...Is that what I think it is?' Her jaw dropped.

'I have no excuses,' I said solemnly.

'What are you talking about? That's a Relic! A unique item that there's only one of in the entire world. Most are used to seal really powerful spells inside.'

'Really? I thought it was--I mean, *cough* of course I knew that. Why else would I jeopardize our lives for something that looks like a phallic symbol?' I handed it over to her, and she stored it away in the void ring.

'Very funny. Lucky for you, I found the gate up ahead where we had assumed it was in the first place. Turns out Liz did know where we were going, which means that she lied. Question is, why?'

'Guys, are you okay? What happened?' Liz asked as she turned a corner and ran towards us, dragging a small mimic with her.

'Yeah. Bell did something stupid again. More importantly, who's that?' Coffee raised an eyebrow.

'This little guy is Kallimore pir Deadwood. He's a dear family friend, and I stumbled across him in one of the cells. I was hoping that we could take him with us...' Liz at Coffee with pleading eyes.

'...You expect us to believe that you coincidentally found him after tricking us into splitting up?' Coffee frowned. Liz looked uncomfortable, and tightened her grip on the younger mimic's hand.

'I-I didn't t-trick you g-guys, I swea--' Liz stuttered.

'That's bullshit. You lied about us losing our way,' Coffee said coldly.

'Guys, we don't have the luxury of bickering,' I warned. I could already hear the pitter patter of footsteps in the distance, even with the sirens blaring. 'Liz, you're going to have to explain yourself later. For now, let's reach that gate.'

'Ptoo--' Coffee spat on the ground, and Liz smiled weakly. The young mimic at her side looked weary and malnourished, something that I didn't even think was possible for someone who looked like a chest. His wooden boards were broken and fleshy, and his legs were as thin as twigs. At first glance, he looked similar to the servants we had passed by earlier, but there was a huge difference. Rather than having lifeless eyes like the other servants', his were full of grief and loss.

The four of us speedily made our way towards the subdungeon entrance, passing by two decapitated bodies with swords sticking out of their chests. I grimaced, and before I could say anything, Coffee pulled out our void ring swiftly and stuffed the carcasses inside.

'No point in wasting nutrients,' she said in response to the half-disgusted-half-concerned face I was giving her as we continued to run. It made sense, considering that she was a vampire. After all, she had complained for the past two weeks about not having blood to drink. A vampire couldn't run off of berry juice alone without going insane, she said.

'Oh, good. I was starting to think you might be a necrophiliac,' I joked.

'There's a child here, you know,' Liz pointed out.

'Right, he wouldn't understand the joke. A necrophiliac is someone who enjoys having--' I began explaining.

'That's not what I meant!' Liz exclaimed.

'I know, I was kidding,' I chuckled.

'Shut up you two,' Coffee rolled her eyes.

We emerged in a wide open area lit by torches hung on the walls. A bright white light emanated from the center of the room, envelopped by a golden gate with intricate patterns carved into the entire archway. I now recognized these patterns as magic circles, except they had been deconstructed from circles to form helical configurations. At the top of the gate was the golden bull's head, completing the exact replica of the gate that I had seen before.

There was no doubt that this dungeon and the red river was connected somehow.

'There's the entrance,' Coffee smiled. 'That was a piece of cake.'

Oh for fucks sake, Coffee. Not the death flag again...

Sluuuuuuuurk.

On cue, a group of mimics dropped from the ceiling between us and the gate, led by an exotic beauty with platinum blonde hair that was tied in a bushy ponytail. Her sleek chinese dress fit her delicate curves perfectly, unveiling smooth white skin underneath at the leg. Her small tongue licked her plump, red lips as she studied the four of us.

'Chantelle,' Liz muttered.

'That's the owner?' I asked, surprised. Liz had previously described her as a sixty year old battle fanatic who was involved heavily in the black market of slavery. I imagined her to be a buff amazonian type woman, and not this young looking beauty. Her arms barely had any muscle to them.

Beside Chantelle was a maid wearing a frilly black and white uniform, and sporting a blue bobcut. The other mimics wore the same drab uniform as the guards we had encountered earlier, and were likewise carrying shortswords at their waists. Maybe it was because they outnumbered us, but they had a distinctive air of pompousness around them. They looked at us like we were beneath consideration, and one mimic even yawned.

"My lady," one guard placed his hand on his hilt. "There is no need for you to tend to this matter personally. Please return to your guests and leave this to us."

"Oh? Simon, you naughty boy. Trying to look responsible in front of me, are you?" Chantelle pursed her lips and caressed the guard's face.

Slap!

"Don't speak unless I give you permission to," she sneered, to which the other guards laughed. Simon, instead of becoming angry, started breathing heavily and turned beet red. Chantelle slapped him again, and his breathing quickened. To my horror, I could distinctly see a tent being pitched down there.

'What the fuck is wrong with this Kingdom?' I muttered under my breath.

'Mm... If only she would treat me that way...' Liz said while drooling. She seemed to be in her own dreamland, and Kalli was pulling on her arm with a concerned expression.

"Well. Isn't this interesting. A slime, a vampire, and a mimic. What an awfully curious mix of thieves," Chantelle said jovially, breaking my train of thought. "Come, Mona."

Snap!

At the snap of Chantelle's fingers, the maid bowed, and wordlessly summoned an explosion of loose Manipulation Vectors that hung motionlessly in midair. Suddenly, they twisted, elongated and folded itself repeatedly, transforming her body into a huge buster sword that looked far too large and heavy for any normal person.

Chantelle grinned maliciously and grabbed the living sword. A black aura oozed out from her and coated her body and sword with a thin layer of ominous mana.

'What is that?' I asked.

'It's bad. Really bad,' Coffee shivered. 'That's a Saint Class Void Spell called Full Disintegration. A touch will melt your flesh, a cut will lop a limb off, and a full encounter will leave behind nothing more than a puddle.'

'Can we counter it?'

'Not likely. The Absorption characteristics are powerful enough to deal with any counterfield to the Chaos mana, and the Chaos factors will overwhelm our Absorption mana instantly.'

'Well that fucking sucks.'

I racked my brain for a plan, but what we needed right now was time.

'Excuse me, ma'am.' I called out to Chantelle. 'I think there's been a misunderstanding. You see, we're victims of The Morana Incident, and we were teleported to your establishment. Could we get some help getting out of here?'

"You dare speak to our lady with your crude accent and obvious lies?!" Simon roared. Crude accent? Now see here...

"Quiet," Chantelle silenced the guard with a look that said that she wouldn't tolerate any more insubordination. "That's quite the interesting tale. Could you tell me more?"

'Of course! It all started when--'

"Yawn. On second thought, tell it to your prison guards and they can relay it to me," she waved her hand dismissively. A crooked smile grew on her face. "Capture them alive."

"""Yes ma'am!""" The eager guards shouted.

A vein popped in Coffee's forehead, understandably. I wanted to strangle her. This vixen was a rude, annoying bitch.

Swish.

Just when we thought the situation couldn't get any worse, a shining ray of light appeared. One of the female guards swung her sword in a vertical arc, cleaving one unsuspecting Simon in half. The other guards looked horrified as his blood spewed everywhere and his entrails spilled onto the floor. Taking advantage of their surprise, she flashed sideways and drilled her sword into another guard's chest cavity.

Liz was the first of us to spring into action, and clashed with the guard closest to her, who barely responded in time to let sparks fly as the blades made contact. Both combatants enhanced their armaments with Absorption to defend against possible magical attacks, and fought using swordplay alone. They exchanged a flurry of jabs, slashes, and parries that were impossible to track with the untrained eye.

Coffee also leapt into the fray of battle, summoning tens of litres of blood from the void ring and assembling it into a pair of wings and dual daggers. Her method of fighting perfectly complimented Liz's all out attack style with finesse and pinpoint accuracy in her execution, allowing the two of them to stand their ground while facing off against three times the number of enemies.

The guard who was on our side was now engaged with Chantelle in an even but furious match, summoning triple layered magic circles that brought forth javelins of dark matter, and producing golden shields in mid-air to keep Chantelle at range. Now that I looked closer, I recognized her as Liz's MSG supervisor, whom we spoke to on the mountain range after the mining incident.

In the middle of this fighting, I shifted sideways to protect Kalli as well as to provide long range support. I didn't have enough mana to use another Jux based spell, but I had another plan. Preparing eight air bullets, I fired them at the ceiling where several large, deadly stalagmites hung ominously. Dislodged, they crashed onto the ground behind the enemy, creating a rock wall and reducing their space to maneuver or retreat. Moreover, it split the enemy forces in half, if for a moment, so that Coffee and Liz could gain the upper hand.

Unfortunately, casting this spell made me vulnerable to enemy attack, and a guard slipped past Coffee and Liz and made a beeline towards me.

Fuck! If I moved, Kalli would get hit. Could I make a rift to send his sword to the void realm? With my current mana capacity, that wasn't really an option. God fucking dammit. As the bastard raised his sword, I did my best to generate an air bullet to counter his strike.

Pttt.

Pain seared through my head as the guard's blade broke through the skin and passed through an inch of my slime. The Collision mana of the air bullet was rapidly consumed by the guard's Absorption imbued sword, but luckily, the force had diminished the force of the slash. The sword was now lodged firmly in my head.

I don't know if it was the adrenaline or because slimes had high pain resistance, but at that moment, the pain barely registered. I used the opportunity to use the last of my mana to summon Manifestation Vectors around the entire length of the blade to entrap it in the shape of a sheath. Almost immediately, the magic absorbed by the sword was returned to my body, along with extra Absorption mana that I had stolen from the guard's sword.

His eyes widened in shock, and was unable to move his sword anymore due to the Manifestation Vectors locking it in place. I used my newly replenished mana reservoirs to imbue the tip of my pseudopod with a high density of mana, and launched myself forwards to beat the fucker black and blue. Trying to dodge, he stepped to the right, only to find no ground to step on. I had used a rift to excavate a small area where his feet was going, and as he tripped, I connected a solid uppercut to his jaw while releasing a motherload of Collision mana straight into his face.

BOOM!

His face completely blew off, and his body recoiled with a fountain of blood spurting upwards through its newly opened hole. Like a chicken with its head cut off. As expected, he slowly began to try and reform his head, leading to an even more grotesque situation. I pushed him towards his comrades and watched amusingly as the other guards all turned their heads in unison, unable to pry their eyes away from the horrific scene.

...

I felt amused? Had Coffee awoken an inner sadist within me during the training? Oh god.

Psychologically damaged and put in a positional disadvantage, the remaining guards were made quick work of by Coffee and Liz. However, they didn't escape without their fair share of cuts and bruises.

'Bell! Are you okay?!' Coffee ran towards me. What was she worried about? She was in far worse shape, wasn't she? Ah wait... Hot diggity damn.

'GAAAAAAAAAH!' I screamed.

Coffee ripped out the sword that was still stuck in my head, causing me to let loose a cry that I didn't know I was capable of. I'd broken my arm before when I fell from my bike watching anime on my phone, but that was like a minor scratch compared to this. Coffee bit through the skin on her thumb and jammed it into the wound.

'FUCK! Are you trying to kill--ahh... ahhhhh that feels nice,' I moaned. Suddenly, I felt like I was floating through the air. Duuuuuude. Fuuuuuck duude.

'I've given you an extremely strong painkiller and sealed the first few layers of epithelium. The rest will heal after some time,' Coffee said.

'Ha... Thanks dude--'ey, have you considered you know, chillin' out sometimes? Yenno what I mean? Let's chill baby~' I felt giddy as fuck. All I wanted to do was sit in a jacuzzi and not go through this violent stuff, you know? Peace to the world, dawg.

'Ugh, you're giving me cancer,' she groaned.

Meanwhile, shit was goin' down over with the sexy lady and Liz's sup. Flying magic and colors ablazin'. Don't fuckin' ask me what was goin' on specifically. How the fuck should I know you readers? I'm trippin' yo.

'Coffee, I think Bell is stoned to the point where's he's gone and broken the fourth wall,' Liz said.

'Well, we can't have that, can we,' Coffee sighed, injecting a competitive antagonist for the painkiller into my system. My dreamworld cracked and shattered into a million pieces.

'Ow! What'd you do that for?!' I cried out. The pain was back in full force, and my head was throbbing like no tomorrow.

'Shut up. We have to get to the gate before more reinforcements show up,' Coffee said. Liz nodded in agreement, holding Kalli's hand tightly.

'Shouldn't we help your supervisor?' I asked Liz weakly.

'She can hold her own. We'd just be a hindrance,' Coffee answered for her.

Coffee lifted me up, and the four of us dashed around the two Saint Class fighters to get to the gate. As we approached the gate, we could hear distant shouts coming from the corridors leading to this room.

With one final look at the epic swordfight happening in the middle of the room, we jumped through the portal that would send us to the Great Manamoo Caverns.