《DIVE》Critiques
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Hey guys, I just wanted to make this thread so that if anyone has any critiques for the story let me know here. All I ask is that you keep the tone civil, and maybe not make silly suggestions like killing the main character off. I have already tried that several times. Susan was supposed to kill him in that hug, Evan was supposed to throw a dagger between his eyes. He should have drowned in the pond. Idk guys. Main character powers are really scary
Thanks for the feedback so far guys!
Thanks to Owlbear and KaellomI. I will be including skill fusion more often.(Although he will probably fail quite often, since i decided to have a minimum skill level requirement for some (idea by Kuroyuki).
I am going to make Voice get a little training in a new area. My discussion with Owlbear helped me think of this. Thanks again Owlbear!
I'm terribly sorry.
Alright guys i broke down and bought another laptop instead of ordering a new one. It will still take me a little while in order to get all the information(i do this weird thing with his exp on skills) but after that i'll be back in full swing. So just try to bear with it for a little while. : )
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'Pranks and Perverts and Padfoot, oh my!' Meet Kelsey 'Kelpie' Jones: Miss Americana, Comic lover and the Hufflepuff who doesn't give a Hufflefuck. Having Lily Evans accidentally fall in love with James Potter was never a part of her plan to get revenge on Sirius Black, Heartbreak Prince of Hogwarts and the Bane of her Existence. Neither was realising her own affinity for his perfectly snoggable lips. But hey, all's fair in love and war, right? Highest Ranking: #1 in #harrypotter | March 11, 2021Started: October 2, 2020 | Completed: January 24, 2021Final Word Count: 100Kϟ"There was a book.""A book?""More like a magazine, really.""Oh?""It had dirty pictures..""Wicked!""..of naked witches.""No!" "Yes!""Well, continue!""Word around school is that Kinky Kelpie can procure these magazines if you ask. For a price of course."ϟDisclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter (or the GIFs/Images used for aesthetics purposes in the book)
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