《The Inconvenient Life Of A Dragoness》A Crappy Day
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I'm woken up by the sound of wind and rain outside my window and the murky light of a cloudy dawn. Uninterested in the waking world I slowly roll over and try to pull my blanket back over me causing a splash. I must have fallen asleep in the bath again... Reaching out for the baths rim to pull myself out results in me slamming my arms back down into the water and causes a huge wave to wash over me. Now fully awake and very confused I open my eyes to find myself in a cave full of water.
Huh.
I remember what happened yesterday now although I kind of hoped it was a strange dream... But the water doesn't quite fit in with my version of events... Looking at the entrance shows me the source of my problem, the rain is flooding down the incline leading up to the entrance as a small river and gradually filling my lair with water. Pretty sure if I slept much longer I might have started drowning. This was a pretty bad design for a lair now that I look at it...
Looking at the gradually increasing amount of murky stone dust and gravel filled water I'm convinced that there is no way of fixing this. Even if I manage to bail the water out somehow this place is just going to flood again. I'm better off just moving... This sucks.
Now that the fact that my lair is ruined has sunk in I had better take a look outside and see if the weather is going to get any better. It's not like I can get any wetter!
Heh, that rhymed.
Walking up the incline is harder than I thought it would be now that the stone is wet. Digging in with my claws for grip seems to help. Maybe I should make this a habit?
Poking my head out of the entrance and looking at the clouds only makes my current mood worse... There had to be a storm coming... I need to make another lair fast or I'm going to be up the creek without a paddle. Quite literally in this case.
Leaving my now ruined lair and climbing over the small wall of stone surrounding it makes me kind of sad... I made that place with my own two hands... claws... My own two claws and now it's ruined. Sure it was just a hole in a hill with a wall around it but it was mine! I'm going to miss this place...
Now onto building a lair that doesn't turn into an impromptu bath!
...Huh. Great ideas really do come when you least expect them...
Heading towards the nearest hill and starting to shift layers of turf and dirt to get at the stone underneath all I can think about is those ominous black clouds getting closer with visible curtains of rain and occasional lightning. The current rain is like a light mist compared to what I saw coming. It's like the ocean turned sideways!
Becoming more and more panicked as the storm approaches my location I begin digging faster. Hitting stone I begin tearing through it crumbling some stones to gravel in my haste. Finally under cover I make a ramp up instead of down like last time before making a lair.
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Looking around the newly carved cave gives me a sense of satisfaction, there's no way for water to flood the place this time. The only real problem is all the stone dust in the air and coating everything. Looking back outside through the entrance shows the rain getting heavier and water slowly rising. Hopefully this whole valley doesn't flood...
Now that I have a lair that isn't underwater I should get some food. I don't know how long this storm will last after all. Looking outside dampens my spirit a little but it must be done...
Sprinting out of my lair I head in the direction of the murder snacks digging my claws in with each step to avoid sliding in the mud and wet plants.
Finally reaching the warren with the rain only getting heavier after a five minute course correction shows me why the fluffy food horde was gathering plants with such fervour. Every hole and entrance is covered in a mash of plants and mud almost similar to a beaver dam. Guess they knew the storm was coming somehow. Would have been nice to know!
There's no rabbits around currently so they must all be inside... Time to break and enter I guess...
Walking up to the closest entrances I start clawing away as much dirt as I can to get to the rabbits little homes. At this point they are basically packaged snacks!
*Grao!*
What the hell!? That hurt!
Looking into the tunnel I was digging I can see dozens of ferocious beady eyes staring back at me... Looks like I found the rabbits!
As we are having our little staredown I notice a not insignificant amount of water is pouring into their exposed tunnels... Why do I get the feeling that I've disturbed a beehive?
As that disturbing realization occurs distant lightning illuminates the tunnels showing a scene of horror.
The tunnels are filled with sodden rabbits showing teeth and claws.
There are hundreds.
...oops?
Kicking out with my back claw sends the ankle biter flying back into the mass of writhing flesh.
Smashing another rabbit against a rock I crunch down on the one that had just leapt at my face.
I rip a rabbit apart with my claws while it bites down on the scales between my digits.
Whipping my tail into the ground smashes the furry menaces clinging to my tail with their fangs into a crunchy paste.
Rolling over to crush the boarding party attempting to dig through the scales on my back works exactly as expected.
Dropping onto my belly to crush the chest bursters into the gouged muddy soup leaves several fluffy pancakes behind.
They won't surrender!
Giving up on my attempt to scare them back into their holes I gather as much rabbit as I can carry and sprint away from the river of enraged fur. Mouth chock full of damp fluff and meat I retreat to my lair to hide from the fuzz.
Hopefully they won't be able to track me here in the rain...
Looking outside at the water lapping halfway up my ramp makes the chance of that happening seem remote... pretty sure they would be washed away if they tried to follow at this point...
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Looking at my haul I'm rather... disappointed... to say the least.
Torn fur, broken bones, brains, offal...
It's all mixed in with the meat.
That I carried in my mouth.
I think I'm going to be sick...
Heaving into the water at the bottom of the ramp pours a fountain of brown gritty slush into the water. There's more coming out than what went in...
Feeling much better and kinda hungry I look over at the pile of... "rabbit"
I've made a mistake...
I don't have any fire.
Turning my neck to look outside at the roaring river puts out any hope I had for dry fuel...
DAMN IT!!!
Well, I have eaten raw meat before so... it should be safe? Maybe I should just try and separate all the nasty crap out? I might get at least some salvageable meat from it...
The thunder in the distance is not helping...
Walking towards the pile of pink sends small puffs of stone dust drifting into the air. I really should sweep this place, maybe I could use my tail? It's mostly been used as a club and balance up until this point.
Lying down next to the pile I start to separate any edible meat from the bones and "bits" with my claws. The fur comes off relatively easily, almost like a sock... Can I wear socks? Survey says!? No. Disappointing but not that bad, they cut off blood circulation anyway!
With the fur removed all that remains to be done is remove the bones, offal and the unmentionable bits of the rabbits. The rabbits with burst organs are piled to the sides. I'm glad I grabbed from the pile of rabbits that I brained with rocks, any other pile would probably have been completely inedible. Those piles were rather... uergh.
It's rather tricky to do this with claws but it removes the need for knives at least. Slowly I pile meat up in one small pile if a bit bloody and bones, heads and organs into three others. I might chew on the bones too. Dogs enjoy it so I may as well give it a try. I mean, things can't get any weirder at this point!
Finishing up with the pile of bodies leaves me with a decent pile of meat. I really did stuff my face full in that grab! Hopefully this much food is enough... Guess it's time to try my "cooking".
Taking a small bite out of the pile of meat leaves me with a single impression.
BLAND!
Seriously! How the hell could my only problem with eating raw meat be the fact it's bland!? It's a damn crime against food!!!
At least it has a decent chewy texture to it...
As I take another bite my gums start itching... licking at the area brings me disturbing news...
I'm missing teeth.
HOW THE HELL!?
Did the rabbits get me somehow!? Maybe the ones leaping at my face had a good idea after all!
Wait... didn't my jaw hurt after my fire breathing attempt? Maybe it happened during the attempt I don't remember? Or was it after that? Things are kind of fuzzy until I woke up this morning...
Hopefully they grow back...
I don't want to be a gum dragon...
Urgh... What the hell!? Did my stomach just? Oh. Oh no... NononononononononoNONONONONONO! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!!!
I start sprinting towards the entrance tearing chunks of stone out of the ground as I go and head down the ramp to the waterline. I turn around, raise my tail and-
*ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA-HHHRRR*
Let loose my cry of humiliation and anguish...
It's just not stopping... at least it doesn't smell... Oh god... the water is changing colour...
PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!!!
Is... is it stopping? Please let it end. I just want to curl up and cry. Please?
Is it...? It's stopping... FINALLY!!!
Now I just have to...
Ugh...
Placing my face against the floor I let myself cry for the first time in a while.
Hopefully the water clears up soon so I can get clean...
I HATE THIS!!!
Ignoring the water dripping off my tail walking my way back from the entrance I instead listen to the natural beauty of thunder. Pointedly ignoring the flashes from the entrance.
Rain and thunder are truly wonderful. The sounds are both calming and stimulating in equal measure! Perfect for eating, reading and sleeping!
Looking at the pile of rabbit meat I have sudden flashbacks... maybe later...
Since I have nothing to read currently I may as well take a nap!
Looking for the best spot on the dusty floor gives me an idea... Digging out a fairly smooth bowl big enough for me to sleep in and piling the stone in what I consider the "storage quarter" I then start sweeping the stone dust together and the gravel next to the stone pile with my tail. Taking the large amount of stone dust I've swept up from the room I fill my newly dug bed bowl with the loose powder.
And that is how you create a stone bed. Ta-da~!
*Clud-Clud-Clud*
Huh, Dragons can't clap... Can I click my fingers?
Attempting to create the classic snapping sound results in my claws making horrifying sounds... this might be how dragons sharpen their claws actually? I learned something from acting like an idiot! Woo!
Well, it's about time for that nap. Hopefully the storm has passed by the time I wake up. I really want to find a place to live that doesn't flood and turn into a river whenever the weather gets bad. Preferably somewhere with something better to eat than berserker bunnies.
Climbing into my bed and getting comfortable is much better than last night. Let's not sleep on a stone floor again.
Partially buried in stone dust with my eyes closed I listen for the thunderground. It's a little muffled by the stone dust but I can hear it which is awesome.
I slowly drift off to the sound of the sky rumbling through the earth.
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