Almost there! I am completely sure! Just a step away from unraveling it!

A cute rumbling growl is heard as my test subject makes his displeasure known. The little dark blue cub already annoyed with my constant grip over him. The cub is playing with one of my summoned spirits, a one-meter long ghost-like serpent, but is already getting bored of it. That means that I don't have much time anymore.

My mana pool has grown a lot with all my training, I can summon several weak spirits at the same time now but their grade of obedience goes down the higher the number. For now, just one weak of them works just fine to distract the cub and give me more time than otherwise.

Lately, the cubs have become harder and harder to lift, they grow so fast. In a month or so they would be too heavy as to carry them casually. Even so, I can't let go of my grip on him. I think I need skin contact for this to work, furthermore, if I release him he will run away; interrupting this time's attempt to seeing beyond the normal sense can.

And... I succeeded!!

After the first time that I managed to hold onto attunement once out of meditation, I have practiced several times. Trying once and again with renewed vigor, knowing that the reward is well worth it. Fortunately, each time I succeeded it become easier and easier.

Right now I keep attunement after exiting meditation on almost every try. I finally understand the trick to do it. Once you blank your thoughts and are one with the world you shouldn't try to hold onto that feeling but let it hold onto you. A stupid explanation, I am aware of that but there is no other way to say it. The majority of the workings behind magic still avoids my understanding but what little I know makes enough sense. Also, I have been too excited to care for the moment.

Now that I can use attunement more freely, I can sense the mana in more depth and distance. Clearly feeling when spiritual energy is used but can't manage anything when trying to feel the workings of the inner and external mana inside another living being. As if I couldn't go beyond an invisible wall. I have thought hard about this. I have concluded that It's the same thing that impedes magicians from activating spells inside another being's body. Even though the sense of attunement is different from using mana or spiritual energy. There isn't even an expenditure as far as I am aware.

I thought that maybe making direct contact with the skin helps, I was not sure about that at all but it was worth a shot so I have been trying it. I can feel that I have been making progress after doing it in that way so I may be on the right track.

The cub treats it as a game but also grows restless rather quickly after so much contact and petting. So, I have had to do it with little time on each occasion before he starts to try to escape. I noticed that my progress with trespassing a cub's barrier doesn't translate from one cub to the other. That didn't leave me with another option but to use the same test subject each time.

For the effort of beating the invisible wall, I send probes of my sense once and again. Sometimes fast, sometimes slowly but that doesn't seem to make any difference. Sending a probe after a certain time each time seems to be more efficient as I feel that each gets a little deeper into the wall each time.

I am excited. It's just a question of time now. And that time is extremely near. I sense it on my gut.

And as I predicted, suddenly, without more failures, my probe could sense it all. All the interior of the cub, his inner-system, state of his body, his mana pool plus his aura gathering around on its own. But more importantly, I could feel something else, what I was searching for. And search I did, looking for the strangeness.

It was there. Mana everywhere, external-mana, not spiritual energy like I thought. Flowing constantly and with certain beauty to it from the cub's mana pool, besides gathering to form spiritual energy. The flowing mana went to every part of the cub's body, directly to the muscles, the skin, other organs, the bones, and even the nails and fur. Everything is infused with mana.

The same mana I use to cast spells. The same mana that is said can only be used to cast spells and activate/use magical items. There shouldn't be another way to use it, I read it somewhere. The Mingan do, I am sure of that now.

That is why that possibility never crossed my head. I thought that it was some sort of active manipulation of spiritual energy. Incredible.

Regardless of that, now that I know the answer I can start to experiment on my own. To see if I can copy it for me. To see if I can learn this technique or if it's exclusive of the Mingan.

I continued sensing the phenomenon for a few minutes more, becoming accustomed to the feeling until the cub escaped my hold and ran away yet again.

The day is young and there is work to be done. I dismiss my summoned spirit and search for a better place to meditate. I settle for the side of the current close to where we are camping. There are Mingan in my surroundings and the water isn't deep so here must be safe. As safe as it can get in this savage neigborhood, at least.

I sit and take a deep breath, preparing myself mentally. I know that every experiment related to mana and magic is dangerous, it would be foolish to think that what I am about to attempt is not dangerous. Many things hint at it. But I am at peace with that. Dying while seeking knowledge is not an ungraceful way to die. Not for me. Not if the mastery of magic is your goal at least. I have read many stories based on that mindset. No risk, no gain. I know that books are an unreliable example but it doesn't matter.

"No risk, no gain."

If something goes wrong... Well, better not think about that, if it's non-lethal the Mingan may be able to resolve it.

I am betting my life on a chance. A chance for progress. A chance to get an advantage in a place where I need it most. I can't ignore this.

And what makes me think of all this... Imbuing the body with external mana. It's so simple that I refuse to believe that nobody tried it before. I have never heard of someone trying it and it's probably because the results weren't pretty. But the Mingan make it work somehow and I won't give up so easily. I want to know how they do it, even if it's because of an ability of them or another different thing. And if I am honest with myself, that is not all, I want the power too.

If I read it before, that there is not another way to use external mana but for magic and items then it must be because it was tried before. But as I said before; no risk, no gain. You can't get power in a short amount of time without risk and danger.

My resolve is made anyway. I start to meditate and reach attunement.

I hold and withdraw mana from my pool. Just a small quantity, enough to cast a Boulder spell. I think it's smarter to start small. I send the mana to my hand.

Nothing happens, of course. How to fuse it with my hand?

I imagine my mana going inside of my bones, my muscles, skin, everything. I imagine my mana being used, being useful, strengthening my body. And then, I will it into action.

First, nothing happens as I feel my mana being expended. Then I notice my right hand getting warm. Hey, I think that is worki-

I am distracted by an incredibly loud cry of pain that easily pierces the plethora of sounds that come from the woods. A few seconds pass before I notice that the cry is mine. I am on my back, still crying, my left hand holding my right wrist close to my chest, shaking uncontrollably. Then, I became aware of the pain, and my cry of agony was reinforced in magnitude. I can't take it anymore. Everything else vanishes for me.

The last thing I was aware of were several Mingan swarming me.

xxx

I shot up upright. I am completely soaked in sweat. I am shaking. A phantasmal pain remains on my hand. I still have a hand, at least. I barely can make out the creatures sleeping around me.

It's dark, already night. I was out for several hours, maybe days. I check my clock. Just hours.

My experiment was a failure. I expected an explosion or wild magic if I failed, not that hell-crushing pain. At least I now know that I have to be more careful in subsequent experiments. I need to know why the Mingan don't feel pain all the time because of the technique. Or maybe they do feel it. Then, they must immune or have learned to deal with the pain somehow. Maybe the pain is not necessary and I am doing something wrong or it will diminish with time as I become accustomed. Maybe I need to use less mana next time or fuse it slower, or faster, or on intervals.

So many questions and too few answers. Something tells me that I will need to experiment a lot more.

A groan escapes me. Surviving each day is already a struggle. I am surprised when there is a day where I had not a close encounter with death. And I don't make things any easier for me with my training.

Everything for just a little more.

Hopefully, I will not become a masochist by the end of this ordeal.