Gin’s Resolve

‘Is it over?’ the boy asked as he fidgeted restlessly, waiting for an answer. His palms were sweaty, but he crossed his fingers, holding his breath as his father studied him with an inscrutable expression.

‘Yeah. You’re cured. You also don’t need to wear glasses now.’

‘Really?!’

‘Yep. Read the chart across the room. What does it say?’

Gin's father gestured to the chart hanging on the wall, three meters away. Gin squinted at the chart, half-expecting the words to blur out like before, but to his delight, he could see them as clearly as if they were right in front of him. ‘Um. Q. U. I. G. J. L. T. S. B. T. N-’

‘Alright, you can stop. You weren’t able to get past the fifth letter before.’

The doctor nodded and cut the enthusiastically rambling child off before he could get carried away. The young boy perked up in delight.

‘Wow! Thank you, father!’

‘Now you can go outside and play with your friends.’

The boy’s father opened the door slightly and waved outside, as if almost impatient to shoo him out of the room. However, the boy didn't seem to notice, his thoughts currently preoccupied by something else.

‘Can I go see Jacob first?’ he asked.

‘Sorry. He’s not ready yet.’

‘Was something wrong with our operations?’

The boy gulped and he began to fidget again. His father smiled reassuringly and placed a hand on his shoulder.

‘Not for you. Your nanobots can and will recreate themselves, just like your ordinary cells. It’s just that some minor problems have appeared for Jacob, which is why you can’t see him at the moment.’

‘Aww,' the boy complained. 'I haven’t seen him for a year now. When will he be healed?’

‘Soon,’ his father assured him with a strained smile.

‘You said that last time.’

‘Don’t probe into the matter.’

‘But I want to go see him now.’

‘Go outside and play.’

‘But father!’

The doctor had lost his smile and his expression grew stern. ‘Look. I understand you want to see your brother. I understand you’re a smart kid that’s interested in my work. I understand your concerns, but can’t you act like a normal kid for once?’

‘Mmm. Ok,’ the boy said as his shoulders slumped.

‘Thank you.’ His father turned away, sighing in relief.

The boy glanced at him for a second, and then obediently slid out of the room. Act like a normal kid? Yeah. He could do that. He’s a normal boy now. No more illnesses. No more weaknesses. No more collapsing suddenly. His friends would accept the new him.

If only that was what happened.

****

Gin felt something pecking his arm. It was more of a tickle, but its consistency roused Gin up. He groaned as his body hurt with each movement, like pins constantly pricking his wounds.

Waking up, after losing consciousness, was a familiar feeling for Gin. This time he was met but a sky that was not quite bright, nor was it too dark. The reddish hue indicated that it was about to be dawn. The only problem was that Gin had to figure out whether he was out for several hours or if he was gone for more than a day.

As he sat up, Gin noticed how barren his surroundings were. The lush greenery of the forest was replaced by ash, decay and burnt up plants. Just the sight of it all made him wince in guilt. Luckily, the fire didn’t seem to spread as far as Gin imagined it would. But it still left a bad taste, considering the damage that was done was all because of his selfish desire to survive.

The pecking feeling still persisted, this time on his thigh, which prompted Gin to look down. What he saw was a bird no taller than the width of Gin’s leg. It wasn’t a tinoo as its feathers were jet black. The differences didn’t stop there. It also had an elongated neck. On the end of it was a round head that was connected to a beak with teeth protruding out of it. As far as Gin recalled, the tinoos didn’t have teeth of any kind. This bird was a whole new species.

The bird tilted its head, staring at Gin. It squawked, revealing a very impressive array of teeth in the process. It then tried jumping onto Gin’s legs but, due to the difference in size, it proved to be a difficult task.

Gin let it struggle some more, laughing every time it fell helplessly on its back. It was feeble, small and weird-looking but Gin found solace with this temporary companion. He didn’t see any resemblance to himself but discovering new things, even in his moment of weakness, was always exciting.

After another failed attempt to climb, the bird decided to stare Gin in the eyes, as if it was pleading for help.

‘What? You want help?’ Gin said, with the bird squawking in response.

Gin extended an arm for the bird to hop onto. As he did so, he noticed the gauntlets were at shoulder height. Gin was certain they were only reached the elbow beforehand.

‘When did that happen?’ Gin muttered to himself.

The bird began waddling along Gin’s leg. It stopped in front lined wound marks, which Gin had received the night before. It twisted its head, mesmerised by the shape and the colour. But then it pecked the area, drawing blood.

Gin was about shoo it away, but decided against it. He was curious as a long spindly tongue began lapping up the blood, like a dog drinking water. It was probably the only time he’d see such a strange species for a while, so instead of getting angry, Gin wanted to enjoy the moment. It didn’t hurt and the reopened wound wasn’t too serious, so it didn’t bother him too much.

After having its fill, the bird looked happily at its benefactor. It walked further up Gin’s leg and nuzzled Gin when it got to his stomach. Its actions were strange but Gin assumed they were signs of gratitude. Did giving blood really warrant such affections? The world was a weird place, Gin thought.

The moment was cut short when the bird suddenly turned its head to the sky. Using Gin’s legs as a platform, it flapped its wings and flew off. Gin didn’t realise why until he saw a flock of birds, similar in shape to it, soaring across the morning sky. Their size was still in question, as their height of flight didn’t allow for an accurate observation. It was nice to know what that chick, as it made its way to the rest of the flock, was going to turn into though.

‘I knew it!’ a familiar voice shouted from behind.

‘Ah. Michal. How are you?’ Gin asked feebly.

‘Gah. Don’t worry about me,’ Michal said as he put Gin over his shoulders. ‘You’re hurt.’

‘My INS,’ Gin instructed, pointing to two rectangular devices on the floor. One was the shield, the other was the unused nano-booster.

After placing Gin down again, Michal collected the INS and slotted them into Gin’s belt. They then began making their way to the campsite, with Gin using Michal as his support. They were silent for the first portion of the journey. It was only until Gin saw Michal’s worried face, that he decided to break the deadlock.

‘Where’s everyone else?’

‘We’ve split up.’

‘Oh. If you were searching for me, then tell everyone not to go alone.’

‘Huh?’

‘Let me ask you something first. Is it possible for mages to go invisible?’

‘Um. There are stealth bestials types, yeah. They can blend in with their surroundings.’

‘I think that confirms it. I got attacked last night. I couldn’t see who did it. If it was a stealth bestial like you described, then we might be under threat.’

Michal stopped for a moment. He looked at Gin funnily, processing what he had just said. An enemy this deep into Eurasian territory? Unless…

‘Rob was lying, wasn’t he?’ Michal muttered.

‘Did something happen while I was gone?’

‘It was probably someone under Rob’s command. He took most of the offence group and left. Syndra took some of the utility types in order to chase him down.’

‘What?! Ack.’ Gin exclaimed, hurting himself in the process. The few hours of rest weren’t enough to heal fully.

‘Don’t exert yourself.’

‘yeah, sorry. But tell me everything that happened.’

‘I don’t entirely know what happened beforehand, as we came back after he had left, but those that stayed reported what happened.’

‘Go on.’

‘Rob supposedly manipulated the others into ditching us. He said you ran away and burnt down the forest. Of course, that’s a blatant lie. You got attacked and couldn’t make your way back.’

‘I did cause the forest fire though.’

‘Since when were you able to use fire?’ Michal queried before retracting his question. ‘Oh well. Doesn’t matter. You were defending yourself, right?’

‘Yeah,’ Gin confirmed. ‘Though that shouldn’t make people turn against me.’

‘Ah. Rob did claim you were a manush.’

‘What?’

‘I know, right? Haha. Can’t believe the others believed him. However, it does mean we’re heavily short on man power. But, with you here, I’m sure you’ll figure something out. That’s your speciality.’

Gin wasn’t listening. His heart sank when he heard the news. The obvious questions formed in his mind. How did Rob know? What do the others think of him now? What happens to the battle formation?

‘Wait. Are you actually a manush?’ Michal asked, noticing Gin’s silence.

But before Gin could answer, they both emerged from the forest. It was just as Gin feared. The gazes were all too familiar: a mixture of disbelief and worry. Their whispers were meant to be overheard; each comment contained either Gin or manush.

‘Don’t mind them,’ Michal tried to reassure, not knowing how to sort his own feelings out.

From the crowd, one person made his way towards Gin. He the only one that was close enough and on equal terms with Gin. From the looks of things, Brim was the one who was most distraught over the revelations.

Gin wanted to go back to how it was, before anyone knew anything about him. He wanted to find a way to make amends. He wanted to deny everything. But he had no faith in lying. Not after last time.

****

‘Father! Please turn me back to normal!’ Gin pleaded as he ran into his dad’s office.

Concerned by the sudden outburst, his father picked his son. Gin hid in the cover of his dad’s lab coat, sobbing into his shirt.

‘What happened?’ Gin father asked, as he began stroking his hair to comfort him.

‘I saved her and then I got hurt and then I’m not hurt anymore but it was too quick and now everyone thinks I’m a freak,’ Gin clamoured, all in one breath.

‘I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re definitely not a fr-’

‘Look!’ Gin interrupted, shoving his hand into his father’s face.

He inspected it, but saw nothing unusual. There were a few scratch marks, but surely that was normal for boisterous kids of his age.

‘I don’t see anything strange, Gin,’ he admitted.

‘Exactly! I want to go back to normal!’ Gin pleaded, sobbing again.

‘Woah. Woah. Woah. Slow down. Take a deep breath and tell me what happened.’

‘James and John said I didn’t need glasses because I wasn’t human anymore. I told them I was still human. I thought they believed me. But I was wrong.’

Gin’s father wanted to speak up, but decided against it. Though he was distressed by what had happened, he knew simple name-calling wasn’t something that would get Gin upset. There had to be something else, so he let him continue.

‘They never believed me! They said monsters don’t protect anyone, so they threw rocks at Samantha, but I blocked all of it. I thought I proved them wrong, but I didn’t. My hand was bleeding but now my wound is gone. I healed too quickly. I really am a monster. Even the adults are looking at me funny.’

So that was the reason. The sudden burst of inhuman power would scare most children. Gin’s father had hoped to explain all the changes that happened to Gin’s body during his operation, but this was too soon.

‘You’re not a monster or freak. That’s only the regenerative properties of the-’

‘Change me back! I hate this! I don’t care if I’m ill again! Please, father!’ Gin exclaimed, his eyes now red from the crying.

He wanted to reassure his son. He could easily prove that Gin was human, but against a child who was in no mood to change his mind, there wasn’t anything that would work. Why must children be so illogical? Realistically, trying to reverse the procedure would bring more harm than good. Maybe he could turn down the effectiveness, but for now he had to stop Gin from bawling his eyes out.

‘I’ll see what I can do,’ he said at last. ‘In the meantime, do you want to see my latest invention, the Integrated Nanobot System?’

‘Huh?’ Gin sniffled. At least he stopped crying. ‘Mm. Ok.’

****

As Brim got closer, Gin had made his mind up. There was no point in hiding his identity. If he did, then what would happen if he had a bigger army? How was he going to manage deserters in the thousands rather than the hundreds? It was better to tell the truth now than suffer later.

‘Is it true?’ Brim asked sternly. ‘Are you a manush?’

‘So what if I’m a manush?’ Gin retorted. ‘It just means I’ve always have been and always will be weaker than you mages. I’m worse than F ranks! It means I have to rely on my wits rather than my strengths. It’s how I survived up to now and I will continue to survive because of it. What are you going to do about it?’

‘Gin…’ Michal murmured.

‘Ha! You don’t care what you do nor what you are. That’s just like you, Gin,’ Brim responded with a smile. ‘That decides it. I’ll continue to follow you.’

‘Eh? That’s how you react?’ Gin said, with a puzzled look across his face.

‘Were you expecting me to hate you all of a sudden?’

‘Um. I guess so.’

‘Gin. You made me overlook my initial prejudice of the low ranked. I think I can overlook you being a manush. It doesn’t change much about you, does it? If you denied everything and I found out the truth, it would have been a different story. But you blatantly revealed yourself to everyone without fear. Like I said, that’s just typical you.’

‘I agree,’ Michal added, pausing but couldn’t say any more. He was still confused on what to think, though he was leaning towards Brim’s opinion.

‘Wow,’ Gin said, taken aback by how well the two were taking it. He then glanced at the crowd behind Brim. If only they held the same sentiment. ‘But I don’t think the others feel same way, Brim. Wouldn’t it be better if you took charge?’

‘Don’t be an idiot, Gin. Ask me again after you’ve taken the opinion of what’s left of your battalion,’ Brim said, pointing to where his depleted were resting. ‘I’ll talk to the artillery group, while Michal will talk to the utility group. You sort out your side of this mess.’

‘Fine,’ Gin conceded. He was in no position to argue. ‘Michal, you can go. I can walk by myself.’

‘Alright. I’ll try my best to persuade everyone to listen to you again.’

‘Thanks.’

Compared to the thousand-strong battalion he left with, the hundred or so that remained felt like scraps. Their mental health was so broken that they didn’t notice the return of their leader. They remained, not because of the odd chance that Rob was lying, but because they had given up.

Gin had seen their smiles when he trained with them. Learning each other’s abilities and coming up with strategies was enjoyable for all. But the expressions they showed now was as if they had never experienced that joy.

It made Gin grit his teeth. He had made up his mind. He was going to make them smile once more. He was going to see this battle through and lead them to victory. Then he would gain back everyone's trust and confidence in him once more. That was Gin’s resolve.