《The Age of Man》Oops!
Advertisement
There was a section of Chapter 9.2 missing from the original rough draft. Feel free to go back and read it with the first 1900 words actually there. It was supposed to be a longer chapter to make up for the lack of two posts and a delay of so long between posts. That's all I had to say…Here’s the opening scene from monty python and the holy grail to fill the other 400 words or so.
[wind]
[clop clop clop]
ARTHUR: Whoa there!
[clop clop clop]
SOLDIER #1: Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
SOLDIER #1: Pull the other one!
ARTHUR: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
SOLDIER #1: What? Ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR: Yes!
SOLDIER #1: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR: What?
SOLDIER #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--
SOLDIER #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
ARTHUR: We found them.
SOLDIER #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
SOLDIER #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
SOLDIER #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Not at all. They could be carried.
SOLDIER #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Advertisement
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk
SOLDIER #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
SOLDIER #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
ARTHUR: Please!
SOLDIER #1: Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
SOLDIER #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
SOLDIER #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
SOLDIER #1: But then of course, uh, African swallows are non-migratory.
SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah.
SOLDIER #1: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
[clop clop clop]
SOLDIER #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
SOLDIER #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
SOLDIER #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
SOLDIER #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
SOLDIER #2: Well, why not?
Advertisement
- In Serial27 Chapters
Palus Somni
It is the final days after the end of the world and you only have one month left before the last sanctuary erupts into chaos. There's a dead body hanging from a tree and cadaverous giants watch you sleep at night. The end is already here, you just don't know it yet. Now rated in the top 3% of all novels on Royal Road! Palus Somni (‘Marsh of Sleep’) is a worldbuilding webnovel about what happens when your God forsakes you. Inspired by gothic horror and mingled with British myth and folklore, join the Alucinari nuns as they struggle with day-to-day life after the world has ended. Every night when the sun sets the monstrous Gol, colossal beings with too many teeth, awaken and roam the marshlands. Only those with a faithful heart will be spared. Young acolyte Wille has never seen the walls fail, but when a fellow nun is murdered within their sanctum the very safety of the monastery is thrown into question. Did the Gol find a way to breach their defences, or is there a human traitor amongst them? The answer lies both far in the past and deep beneath the earth, through the maze of ancient catacombs. With a cast of over thirty different characters, watch as your friends and enemies spiral into inevitable madness at the hands of a callous and unforgiving world. Discover the secrets of Palus Somni through letters, diary entries and notes found scattered across the monastery. Uncover the mystery of the grotesque giants that stalk the night and bring your challenge to the Gods themselves. Each character has their own handmade pixel art, and every update includes a music recommendation for a dark atmospheric dungeon synth album that you can listen to while you read. Slice of life meets cosmic abomination: Palus Somni is a collection of intertwining stories, some chapters are stand-alone tales while others feed into the overarching narrative. It is an exploration into a community, and rather than focusing on any one character the story meanders through the convent, exposing the hopes and fears of its inhabitants. Story updates every full moon.
8 57 - In Serial11 Chapters
Karacatoa - Descent into Madness
As warm and bright the Sun is, as cold and dark the void is. And as much as one can be hopeful, so much is the depth of despair. Being strong isn't about strength - it is about taking advantage of what you have, be it the light or dark. _ Lesson 1, Karacatoa.
8 232 - In Serial32 Chapters
The Red Orphan
A warm home, a supportive community and loving parents; Carmine’s small world revolved around these few comforts. Far from the Capitol’s magic and technology, the people of Rieland relied on each other to make their way in life. That ended in a storm of fear that left Carmine’s world in ashes. All alone, she must decide how to pick up the pieces and live as best she can, or reject the fate she was given. New Chapters released the first Saturday of every month on the web novel site. Website here: https://www.theredorphan.com/
8 204 - In Serial19 Chapters
Dream mastery
Tomy Yang was an ordinary guy. One day while walking he saw something falling from the sky not far away from him. There was an explosion and affected by the shockwave he was knocked far away.Now he is in a coma. But not really.He is also in another world fighting for his live and jnowing that if he did not wake up soon, he will really die. The picture is not my property but celle de depositpicture.comNor is carefree path of dream who is owned by The plagiarist. I plan to post three chapters per week.
8 128 - In Serial10 Chapters
[Book One] Querencia Quintet [Polarity/Pestilence]
Migrated from: https://www.wattpad.com/story/187324475-querencia-quintet-polarity-pestilence This is my official work and my official username, both on Royal Road and Wattpad. Any reposts of Querencia Quintet are not mine and should be reported straight to myself, all copyright ... rights... are withstanding. Book one in the Querencia Quintet franchise is titled "Polarity/Pestilence" and it starts off with our sarcastic, overpowered protagonist, Charley Dunne, a 17 year old werewolf who has been cordially invited by his Werewolf clan's boss, Markus Fell. The invitation is related to Charley's supernatural academy's graduation party. He is about to move out of his parents' house and attend college. The events prior to his successful passing marks within his last exam, all 17 years of his life, have been leading up to one moment and one moment only; war. The war shall begin when he turns 18, the night of April 2nd, 2017. Whose side(s) will Charley Dunne possibly select as his loyal allies; Fleshflingers (Zombies)? Moonbearers (Werewolves)? Spellcasters (Witches and Wizards)? Bloodsuckers (Vampires)? Or Mortals (Humans)? A few, more than a few, or, miraculously, will he be able to unite all five supernatural Councils (groups) and form an eternal pact that may just last a dozen or so centuries? Find out in the very first instalment of: Querencia Quintet. Quoted from my official Wattpad story's description: "Werewolves. Demons. Angels. Spirits. Vampires. Zombies. Humans -- and the greatest supernatural species of them all; witches. The nine Lords of the Night, the thirteen Lords of the Day, the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the god of war, Horus, and the greatest progenitor of the mystical arts, Merlin. These five Councils could form a pact that lasts many lifetimes ... but will their differences and flaws work against them? Do the five magical chambers butt heads, or do they accept their uniqueness and strengths and work together?"
8 193 - In Serial64 Chapters
Contests
A guide about all the ongoing Adventure Contests
8 312

