On my way back out of the city, I found merchants. I don't have much money, but maybe I can get myself a thing or two. Hunger seems to not be a concern for me in this game, but maybe I could use some as bait. I kinda still want to tame stuff.

I found a stall selling roasted nuts. Lil' birdy on my cranium got really excited, so I figured, why not? I bought a small bag. 10 Gold, gone. 140 left. Then I saw someone selling dried fruit. Once again, I bought some, a somewhat larger amount this time, for 20 Gold.

Food got scarcer as I kept going, and since I'm going unarmed and unarmored, I don't really need any trinkets. Let's just leave, then. Near the city gates, there was a dirty-looking man panhandling. He was doing a little tune on a lute and it sounded good, so I put 20 gold in that hat of his. Not like I have much use for the money anyways.

"Thank you, young man! I'll use this well!"

Hey, don't tell me you wouldn't have done it, it's easy karma. Now, let's see if the slimes are hostile by default...

There's a lot of people outside, running around, chasing after slimes, rabbits and little red birds, attacking them mercilessly. I get it, they're standard enemies, but I could never get myself to attack cute things. That's, like, my one big weakness. So let's try approaching one in a friendly way, see what happens.

Before I could even get close to a slime, someone come from out of nowhere tried to hit the bird in my hands. Seriously, that thing's on me! Luckily, I managed to jump away in time.

"What the fuck?! Don't fucking attack my bird, it's mine!"

The small red-haired girl in front of me looked horrified. "Oh no! Sorry! I got so caught up in hunting, I completely forgot that people are a thing!"

"It's fine since you missed, but you'd better be careful, okay? You almost made me drop my nuts."

Birdy landed on my hand again and kept eating like nothing happened. A second bird also came a few seconds later, trying to get some for itself. Maybe my bird really was unique after all, 'cuz all these other fluffies are red.

A third came, then a fourth, and soon I was swarmed by little balls of feathers. A loud, shrill shriek came from my hand and they all flew away. The yellow bird stood there triumphantly.

"Oh yeah, definitely a boss," I said, giving it a scritch on its little head. The redhead was just standing there, absolutely confused at what had just transpired, before recognition flashed across her face.

"Oh, you're the 1 Int guy from earlier! I knew I'd seen that bird before!"

"That's right, it's me!" I said, flexing a bit because I could.

"So it IS a field boss! Why is it eating from your hand? I thought bosses couldn't be tamed in this game."

"Maybe it just wants to hang out. Who knows? I'm surprised it didn't run from me yet. I mean, when I first met it, it seemed like it had no clue what a predator was but now, I realize it's being cheery on purpose. Could very likely kick my ass, but why would it? I've got delicious nuts in my hand."

"...That... Kinda makes sense, yeah. Anyway, sorry about that, I'm gonna go fluff the bunnies."

"That sounds dirty."

And then she left. Alright.

I guess I'm free to mess around with the slimes now. Oh, one just spawned next to me. Looks like moving jelly, as expected. It's got a translucent blue hue, really stands out in the grass. This is why I bought the dried fruit, I figure slimes would like sweet stuff. Pulling a few bits out of my inventory, I held them up to the slime and went "You want some fruit?"

It shifted to face me. Long ovals were on it, and they blinked. Oh my god, they have eyes! It just kinda stayed there, though. "Do you want some fruit?" I said, showing off the all-sweet trail mix in my hand.

It shifted and shuffled until it was under my hand then opened a weird little hole under its eyes. I took that as a yes and dropped a few bits one by one into it. Then blobby shut its "mouth" and I saw the fruit moving to settle close to the center of its body. When that was done, the hole opened up, the slime inflated a bit as it took in air, and it made a whistling noise at me.

Is that how they say thank you? I don't know, but I feel like there's gratitude there. How very heartwarming. Then it shuffled away, maybe ten steps from me, before another player tried to swoop in and hit it with an axe. He was a bit overzealous, missed and took a tumble, which allowed me to move in and slam my fist into his chest as he was standing up.

"I just fed that little guy! You are NOT ruining my wholesome moment!"

"What the fuck? It's just a slime, bro!"

"It's MY slime now! I'm gonna defend it!"

He swung his axe at me sideways. Managing to somehow hop out of range, I squared up and got ready for the first real fight I'd have in this game.

He made the first move, rushing in with an overhead strike. I jumped aside and pulled his arm 180 degrees, tossing him. Didn't let go of his axe, but I bought some time. I rushed over to the slime I'd been defending, put the nuts back into my inventory and put my bird on the slime. I now have both hands free.

"Come on, then, you mad lumberjack! I'll slap your ass around!"

"You bitch! I'll chop you to bits!"

With a shout, he raised his axe high above his head while running at me. Did this guy never fight anything before? I ran at him, intending to meet him halfway. Clearly, he wasn't expecting me to do that, because he swung way too early, giving me a clear path to punch him in the face. I felt it connect, with the same kind of sensation as the deep punch on the dummy, and I know that one hurt. Only now do I notice the tiny damage indicator, it says -14. Wow, that's one nice hit.

Pressing my advantage, I sweep his right knee while grabbing the now single hand holding the axe, and we go to the ground. Wrestling his weapon out of his hand, I toss it aside and take his attempts at self-defense, the first real bit of damage I'd taken so far. That punch didn't have much behind it though, so I took a -4.

"Get off me, you fuck! I'll kill you!"

"No, you."

The ground and pound didn't last long, mostly because it didn't need to. It seems this guy's strength is rather low, for an axe wielder. His body's real hard, though, so I have free reign to knock his head around for a bit. He's now down to maybe like 5 HP, he and I both know he'll die if I land another hit. Not wanting to be labeled a PK, I pin his arms to the ground.

"Say you're sorry and promise never to hurt a slime again!"

"Fuck you, you dick! I'm just trying to enjoy a fucking game!"

"What do you mean, aren't you enjoying this? I thought you were a masochist."

"What the fuck? What could possibly make you think that?"

"Well, you clearly have high constitution, a sign of either tanky types or pain-addicted knuckle-draggers."

"Yeah, I'm already a tank, you know? Plus, you won't escape after this. I'll get my guild to hunt you down!"

"Welp, you just sealed your fate."

And with one last punch, he dissipated into blue sparkly dust, leaving behind nothing but the axe he'd been using. I grabbed it and put it in my inventory, a reminder of my victory for days to come!... Nah, I was gonna sell it first chance I got.

You acquired a Title: First Blood

Enhances the power of your first successful strike by 100%

Gained by being the first to gain PK status

Would you like to equip this title?

Oh, I really messed myself up, didn't I... Yes.

I can see in the corner of my HUD that my name is now red. Well, at least the slime is safe...

I grab my little bird friend and raise him up to eye level.

"It's not safe to be around me anymore. You need to go back to that tree, buddy."

The most emotionally-charged chirp I've ever heard hits my ears. It perches itself on my head and lays itself out, refusing to move. Meanwhile, the slime turns out to be smarter than I thought, because it clings on to my leg. What even are these two doing? Don't they get I'm gonna be hunted by the rest of the playerbase?

...Fine. If they want it to be like that, I'll stay out here. Let them come. I'm not ready, but I refuse to fall that easily. I can already see a few players noticing my red name. They'll feel braver than they should, because there's several. This gives them a huge advantage over me.

The slime clinging to my leg lets out a series of varied whistles, like a call of some kind. A lot of the surrounding slimes react to it by whistling themselves and coming this way. Since when could level 1 mobs call for reinforcements?

Only a few of them ever get here, most of the slimes are picked off before they can get to us. A few do make it, however, and the one clinging to me jumps off and rushes to meet them, rushes into them, they pile up and fuse... Then they compress. The slime, as it slowly shrinks, turns a darker shade of blue and I am astonished. Is that how slimes grow, they fuse?

The process takes a bit to finish, but the first player has already come to me. They're a mage, so approaching me in close combat with a blunt chakram was a bad idea. Since they're squishy, I kill them in only four punches and a big stomp. Wasting no time, the rest of the nearby players trickle into combat, one after the other. I'm taking this surprisingly well, considering they're all levels 2-4 and have pretty much the same stats as me.

I hadn't noticed before, but the sun is approaching the horizon and as I finish off my third opponent, I notice everyone's got an orange glow to them. I get caught by a glancing blade and reply with a snap kick to the gut, at this point I'm fairly sure the law of Conservation of Ninjutsu is in full effect. I've got 63/80 HP and 48/68 Stamina left, but I already beat like 3 and a half people with the same stats as me.

I can tell they're going to be tougher from now, though. They're more careful, more calculating. I hear someone asking me to join their guild and reply with an uppercut. The First Blood bonus made that first mage into fodder and the next ones were cocky, but I'm slowly getting surrounded. Several big names in the gaming industry are in these people's names, big gaming clans. These people don't fuck around.

Something slams into a guy's face, knocking him to the ground. It bounces over to me. That's a gel, a harder, tougher variant of slime. Seems like the fusion's complete.

"Thanks, buddy. Let's go, then."

The bird suddenly gets off my head as well and lets out a screech. It rises into the air, and it... Expands. The little ball turns into a big damn beast.

Field Boss Biiro the Swift has awakened!

"HOLY SHIT, BIRDY!"

The distraction of a boss awakening was enough for me to, assisted by the Gel, shove my way out of the circle of people, snatching someone's crossbow along the way. I fired it behind me as I ran away then threw it.

I felt something squishy land on my head. The Gel had made it out as well, it seemed. Balancing it up there was a distraction, though, so I took it in my arms instead. I can hear Biiro going nuts behind me, screeching and screaming, absolute chaos. Orders are being given, but that's obviously not working.

I've gone past the slimes and into rabbit territory, now. I hear a screech behind me, then another one, this time closer. In anticipation, I raise an arm. Biiro lands on it and coos at me.

"You did great, Biiro. Now, we need to escape these guys. The city's a no-go, but maybe I can run into the woods."

There was a forest, I just had no clue. That illusion is frighteningly powerful. I know the monsters in there would be worse, but at this point I have no other choice. They're still chasing me and while my higher constitution makes my stamina more efficient, I still don't have that much. I'm not too fast either.

"Pyuuuuu!" the Gel whistled. It had a mouth now, I noticed, and that little line was smiling.

"Yeah, that was fun, right? I'll give you two treats when I can. For now, the... That's a big bunny. Is that their boss?"

I had already resolved myself to being a PK by this point. I was too far gone now.

Wisdom has increased by 1!

See? Even the game agreed with me. Still, didn't I come out here to mess around? Now I'm running from a mob with a boss and a rare monster in my arms! Oh well, this is more fun than feeding trail mix to random slimes anyway.

Biiro took off from my arm, most likely intending to slow the players down some more. God knows I'd need all the help I could get if I was going to escape them, and defeating that many players was just too much.

Ahead of me was the second half of the rabbit area. There were still loads of players in front of me, they all saw and heard the commotion, and some of them are coming in from the front. If I can't avoid them, I'm in trouble.

The Gel decided that moment was the best to seal its fate.

You have tamed a Gel!

You acquired a Title: Friend of Gels

Interactions with Slimekind are far easier

Gained by bonding strongly with a Gel

Would you like to equip this title?

Yes, definitely. I'd rather be slimy than a murderer.

"Why now of all times? We're about to die! What kind of friendship is this, little dude?" "Pyii!"

If it wants be my friend that bad, then I can't just ignore those feelings, can I? This was going to be hard, but we'd make it out. I knew we would.