AN: Ain't nobody got time for author's notes!

Chapter 16: Giggling Morons

So, the time had come at last. The battle of wills, the brawl for it all. It was time to unleash, the backstory.

Scott gazed deeply into the eyes of his pink haired companion. She in turn, unleashed a devastatingly cheerful smile.

Time passed. Neither spoke. They merely gazed thoughtfully at each other.

More time passed. Nothing happened. Seriously, nothing happened.

Finally, Scott said, "So... tell me about yourself."

Pink peered thoughtfully at him from beneath her vibrantly colored bangs. The moment she began to speak, the world around them began to grow dark. "I was born in the time before time... In the long, long, ago..."

Scott blinked then drew back a little as the demon girl continued to unfold her tale. Her eyes now blazed with hellacious intensity. Her voice was deep, sultry, a far cry from her typically cheerful tone.

"It is said that upon the occasion of my birth... A burning star fell screaming from the sky, great torrents of flame streaming behind it. Rivers ran red with the blood of the innocent. The surface of the moon became a grotesque caricature of a man's face. Goats stood upright on their hind legs then began to speak hideous ill-formed words that blistered the very air itself..."

Scott acquired a flat expression then snorted at her. "Seriously?"

The room brightened suddenly and pink tilted her head to the side. With a cheerful smile she said, "Nope."

He laughed a little at her antics. Pink, as it turned out, was actually a bit clever. If her age was taken into consideration, it made sense. "So, where were you born?"

"I was born in a land called Aspel, on the shores of the wicked sea. My mother was a crossroads demon, my father a damned soul who had fixed the books for an accounting firm." said Pink, a wistful tone in her voice.

Scott settled in to hear her epic tale of love in the underworld. The expression on Pink's face brought a smile to his lips. For the first time, he had begun to see her as something of a normal girl.

"Mother used to describe dad as a tall gangly thing, all knees and elbows, and dick." She looked to Scott then flashed a bright smile. "He had the bluest eyes though, like the sky in the overworld."

"Oh, she loved to gaze into them while she rode his magnificent man-shaft." said Pink warmly.

His eyebrow quirked upward. "Is that really something your mother discussed with you?"

"What do you mean?" asked Pink curiously.

"Her sex life with your father? She told you details?"

Pink produced a sound that was half laugh, half snort. "I'm a succubus. I probably learned more about sex before I was a year old than you have ever known. We have symposiums and workshop meetings on it."

Scott had to admit, that did make a certain sort of sense. It was disturbing, but it made sense. "If your father was human, does that make you half human?"

Pink laughed once again. "No. My race is always female. We have children with other races that are compatible."

A slow nod was his response as he processed what she said. "So, crossroads demons... They succubae?"

She shook her head slowly, but said "Yes, sometimes. Usually not, though. It's just a job, like any other."

"So, how are you a succubus? Your mother is one?" asked Scott. It seemed logical that she would be, but logic and this situation were hardly best friends.

The pink haired demon chuckled warmly then made a little circle motion with her finger. "Of course she was. Her business as the crossroads was soul collection. She specialized in helping men become charismatic playboys or a bigger package."

"People sell their souls for that sort of thing?" Viagra was not exactly hard to get after all.

Pink nodded then leaned forward, a sinful smile upon her lips. "All the time. She remains quite popular."

Scott eyed the temptress before him. She was all hair, and curves, and damnation. If her mother was anything like her daughter, it was obvious that she would be popular. "I see. Good for her."

The demoness smiled sweetly at her husbro then shifted her eight so that she put on an overly sensual display of her curvature. "Do you really, see?" she said, while she delicately slipped a finger along the curve of her chin then up to lightly caress her lips.

An audible gulp was his response. The room became silent for a moment as the ramifications of that sound were processed. Not long after that they both began to laugh. Scott certainly had seen.

"What's up with you, anyway?" he asked, an amused smile upon his lips.

"Hmm? Is something, up?" she asked sweetly, her eyes half-lidded.

"I've asked about it before, but... What's with the bimbo act when you're clearly more intelligent?" asked Scott.

Pink bit her lip a little while she tried to fight down a laugh. She lost the battle and unleashed a warm, sweet bit of laughter than made her seem quite charismatic. "We learned long ago that men can be intimidated by smart women."

"So you talk like this...?" Scott crossed his eyes then mimicked her cheerful and oblivious tone of voice. "Oh Master, please play with pink."

She laughed so hard that she began to snort half way through. "Yes! Exactly."

Scott laughed at her laughter, which caused her to laugh even harder. Soon they had become two cackling idiots who had trouble keeping their breath. It might not have actually been that funny, but they had finally released a bit of tension.

"So then..." asked Pink in her warm sultry tone. "Do you prefer me like this...?" She switched to her cheerful bimbo tone. "Or like this, Husbro."

"Do what makes you happy. I'm not afraid of intelligent women since I am well aware of the fact that I'm a simple bastard. You'd have to be a gerbil not to be smarter than me."

"Fair enough." she said while dropping the cheerful bimbo act for a moment.

"Tell me, though." asked Scott after a moment. "Why did you go along with the taco fart plan?"

She chuckled for a moment, amused by his question. "You asked me too, and it sounded fun."

"A girl as intelligent as you seem... and it amused you to make your butt crack blister for fun and profit?"

She shrugged. "You would be surprised at some of the things I've done."

"Should I ask?"

"If you like, but I doubt you want to hear much of it. I've been a bit of a party girl in the past. All of my kind are like that."

"I can probably take it... Just tell me something at random." said Scott.

"Hmm, at random? Alright, I'll tell you one if you tell me something random you've done or want to do. Deal?" asked Pink.

"Will you swallow my soul if I say, yes?" he asked with a laugh. His eyes, however, showed that he was shrewdly making certain that his deal with the devil was soul free.

She giggled a little then waved her hands in front of her. "No, no. Nothing like that."

"Fine then. I agree to your terms madam negotiator."

The thoroughly amused succubus tilted her head to the side then sucked on her bottom lip a little. After a moment she nodded her head then said, "Alright. But you first. I've done all the talking so far."

Scott answered without preamble. "Recently I have pondered studying ventriloquism."

"What? Why?" asked Pink. That was truly a random tidbit of information.

"Well, I figure that since I can extend my dick, it might be cool to get a little lab coat and glasses made for it. That way I can whip it out and throw my voice to pretend that it is a professor."

She blinked slowly then her eyes rolled back in her head a little and her mouth fell open. Her look of utter surprise turned into a thoroughly shocked, but charmingly wide-mouthed smile. "What in the seven hells is that about?" she asked with a warm laugh.

"Well, I figure that I might have to explain a lot of things to people about my power at times, and who better to explain things than Professor Penis." He eyed her carefully, his face a stoic mask without a hint of humor in it. "He has a PhD in Penisology, and a master's degree in exposition."

Pink could not stop herself despite slapping her palm over her mouth. She did not want to laugh about that, but that was just the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. She laughed a little despite herself.

"I've also thought of making little charts for him to point to when he needs to explain a relevant topic in greater detail." said Scott, this time his stoic expression cracked a little, but he managed to recover.

Her peals of laughter exploded throughout the room. Her face turned bright red and she waved her arms in front of herself. "No more! No more!"

Scott pouted at her then wiggled his hips forward in a thrusting motion. "What? You don't want to study under Professor Penis?"

Pink laughed beautifully then shook her finger at him. "You, sir, are dangerous."

He granted her a devilish smirk and nodded his head slowly in a creepy manner. She shook her head at him, and he nodded once more. She laughed and shook her head more quickly. His expression shifted to one of demented glee and he rapidly nodded.

"Nuh uh!" she exclaimed sweetly while shaking her head and giggling.

"Uh huh." said Scott in a slow drawn out manner while he nodded his head once more. He giggled in about as manly a fashion as it is possible for any man to giggle.

And so, we leave these two giggling morons to their fate. The head shaking and nodding would go on for quite a while and ain't nobody got time for that.