Mature Content Warning: This chapter is disturbing on so many levels. Flatulence, masculine love weapons, penis slaps, and eternal servitude.

Author's note: This is probably the stupidest chapter, yet. Enjoy!

Chapter 11.3: Scents of a Woman

The final preparations had been made. Things were ready to continue. At last he could make his move, now that he had his secret weapon at his side.

Scott looked over at said secret weapon. The succubus who simply went by the name, “Pink” was quickly chugging another two-liter sized bottle of Soda. Her Husbro had stuffed her with ham, tacos and eggs, for the last several hours. It was all for the cause, however.

“Do you remember your part, Pink?” asked Scott.

Her stomach made a terrible noise and she turned a little green. She raised her thumb and nodded. Pink could not speak or something terrible might be unleashed upon the world.

“Time to get my mount...”

Pink pouted at him cutely. She had continually offered to let him mount her, but he wanted something else. It was quite sad, really.

Scott checked his manly sword to make sure it was acting manly, and then headed inside. It had taken nearly a full day to get the scent out of his house, and another few hours after that to convince himself that Pink wouldn’t bust ass in the real world once more, and kill him while he was inside his chamber. There were not enough scented candles and bottles of Febreze in the world to protect him from being at ground zero.

After he went into the cave, he heard a loud and disturbing sound from near the cavern entrance. Pink had begun her work.

The cave was filled with mainly one long tunnel connected to a massive inner chamber. That was why he had chosen this specific beast to hunt. Their kind was known to live in abandoned ruins, ancient forests, and shallow caves near forgotten roads. It did not take long to reach the creature that he sought.

“Halt! Who dares intrude upon my lair!” exclaimed a haughty voice.

“I do so dare!” replied Scott, hamming it up for all he was worth. What was the point in being a wandering heroic manwhore, if he didn’t say heroic things?

Out of the darkness padded an ancient beast out of legend. Part lion, part eagle, part porn star with a master’s degree, she was a sphinx! Rather, she was a lesser sphinx, and as such she was reasonably within his level of challenge since at this point in their existence they were not yet developed enough to have mind-crushing powers and heat beam laser eyes or whatever it was they developed.

“You, human... you who dare to intrude on my domain... what is it that you wan...” began the sphinx.

However, she stopped mid-sentence. “Why are you naked?”

“I am a wandering manwhore who has come to challenge you, of course.” replied Scott.

She reared back on her hind legs and flailed at the air wildly. “Why would you say such a thing as though it is normal!”

“Does it matter? I have come to challenge and defeat you, thus making you become my... pet.”

The sphinx turned her head to the side. “Seriously, did Shay send you? This is some sort of joke, right?”

Scott lunged forward and whipped out his manwhore special weapon. His disk slapped her across the face to hilarious effect. “Nope, this is actually happening.”

“Y-you... with your... What the hell is wrong with you? What sort of upbringing did you have, human?” asked the sphinx, her face bore a complicated expression that readily mixed outrage, shock, and some other indefinable emotion.

“Do you accept my challenge, or do you forfeit your freedom to me? I challenge you by the ancient covenant!”

“Like hell I would accept a covenant with such a crass penis waving buffoon!” She immediately lunged forward.

Scott launched himself backward and unleashed his other special weapon. “Money Shot!”

A torrent of disturbingly white masculine love erupted outward from his mighty weapon. The oncoming monster girl was not able to dodge in time and took it full-force.

“Oh, hell no!” She exclaimed in extreme aggravation. The effect of his power had stunned her! Who wouldn’t be stunned by that sort of thing? He tore off toward the entrance to the cave and took out a special item from his inventory. He had borrowed a few things from Lady Anika after returning to Albione.

One of the things that he had borrowed was an enchanted nose ring that clipped onto his nose. It prevented the wearer from smelling foul things, an absolute must for various types of whoring as some people reeked of booze, strong cologne or just the general need to bathe.

Scott escaped the cave and shouted, “Let ‘er rip!”

The sphinx was hot on his trail, absolutely intent on tearing him asunder! However, what she received was not the sweet released of torn man-flesh. She received a face full of the most noxious and disgusting smell that her heightened sense of smell had ever born witness to in her life.

The sphinx shrieked in panic and disgust and fell back while clutching her face. She would find no relief from the hell that had come calling, however. Scott unleashed the second thing that he had borrowed. The local magical equivalent of an electric fan!

He turned on the small, hand-held, device and sent Pink’s special brand of justice down the corridor. The sphinx tried to escape back to her lair, but the scent followed. Pink backed down the corridor, her ass exploding with furious fury every few steps.

Scott kept step with her and soon they reached the entrance to the main cave lair. The scent could not escape out of the corridor and it built to an incredibly hellish level!

The damned soul trapped within that hell screamed and begged for mercy. She could not get near the flatulent succubus.

The scent was far stronger there and her heightened sense of smell could not even handle it where she was! Tears poured from her eyes, snot ran from her nostrils. She thought that she would go mad, mad I tell you!

“Stop, I accept your challenge. I accept!”

“Good! Now give me your riddle, and remember this... if I don’t win, this won’t stop!”

“Dammit, you cheating human bastard!” screeched the sphinx in near-blind panic.

The sphinx was a race notorious for posing interesting and difficult riddles to travelers. The riddle solver could ask one boon of the sphinx, anything within its power. If they lost they would become the sphinx’s dinner.

“Hey, the longer this takes.... the longer this takes!” called Scott in a happy voice. Too bad this nose-ring didn’t work in the real world!

“Oh dammit, the indignity! F-fine... fine... A riddle, a riddle... What’s two plus two!”

“Four.”

“You win! You win dammit!”

“Great! As my prize I demand your eternal servitude! Become my faithful pet and willing slave, OK?”

“Damn you... fine! Just... please, stop this!” pleaded the sphinx.

A window popped up in front of Scott telling him that he had acquired a new pet, Rias the Sphinx. As per the terms of their pet contract, she would be his faithful and willing pet slave for all eternity.

“Pink, you may stop.”

“Thank goodness! I really need to go use those wet towels you brought...” Pink dashed out of the cave in the hopes of cleaning up a bit. That had been as unpleasant for her as it had been for the sphinx!

Scott walked over to the sphinx and used the fan to blow the scent away. It took quite a while for it to reach tolerable levels. Afterward he heard her crying and he actually felt slightly bad for what he did. It was a passing feeling, however.

Unlike Pink, Rias really was just a game character, right?

“You got what you wanted... MASTER!” She spat the word at him, like it was a curse.

“Yep. Now let’s be friends.”

“Friends! You expect me to be your friend, you foul misbegotten piece of *expletive deleted!*” Some words are even more foul than Pink’s perky booty after taco Tuesday.

“Nah, I don’t expect you to want to be my friend. However, you won’t have to deal with this again. It was just to make sure I got you.”

“You could have challenged me like a normal person!”

“Yeah, but I’m an idiot. I couldn’t have bested your riddle-slinging on my own.”

Rias snorted at him then crossed her arms over her impressive chest. “You’re right about that! No one who does this sort of thing can be intelligent enough to solve one of my real riddles!”

He sat down next to her, completely unafraid of her monstrous appearance. “Exactly, and that would be terrible. I would never have gotten a chance to get to know you.”

“Like you care!”

“Of course I care. Who wouldn’t want to get to know such a beautiful girl?”

She eyed him critically. “Do you really think blatant flattery will win you points with me, you odious cretin?”

“Flattery is a deception. I am merely relating the truth. You’re quite pretty. You’re obviously intelligent, and I bet you have a lot of hidden facets to your personality that someone would be absolutely lucky to get to know.”

She snorted again, but not as loudly this time. “You’re an idiot.”

“True, but I was still smart enough to get someone as awesome as you to agree to spend their life with me.”

Her cheeks colored slightly despite her utter disgust with the man. He was a complete idiot, but despite how disgusting he was... that had been rather clever. She’d had no chance at all.

Scott patted her on her feline back. “Did you know that of all the possible mounts on this island, you were the only one I wanted?”

“Mount? Is that the only reason you did this to me?” She seemed agitated by that fact.

“Hmm? Well, there was the part where you are incredibly pretty and have sexy tits.”

“My master is a pervert and an idiot...”

“Yeah, well... I also have a giant dick... So, we have that going for us.”

The color of her face drained a bit. That dick was scary.

Scott saw her expression and guessed at its meaning. He patted her on her feline back once more. “Don’t be afraid. It’s only penis.”

She winced then shook her head. Her new life would prove to be quite disturbing, she just knew it.