Qi was everything, or so the system said. It didn't say qi was inside everything, but everything was made of it. It was weird to think it might include emotions like loneliness too.

Or rather, instead of emotions being qi, Ricardo believed emotions attracted certain kinds of qi. He assumed so because he hadn't felt lonely when the cold qi left his body to become a supporting pillar of the road in his soul. No, he had only felt the coldness. It resonated with his loneliness somehow, but the emotion and the qi were clearly separated entities.

He was trying to find vibration qi, but this qi business was still too mystical and new to him. It was better to start with what he could feel; a warmup of sorts.

So, Ricardo focused on finding the "super-qi" he had felt the last time, the one that contained both the coldness and the heat. It took him a long time to accept he couldn't do it. So instead, he focused on feeling only the cold loneliness first, like the last couple of times he had done it.

He found it almost immediately, both inside himself and in the air. Feeling qi outside his body was like closing your eyes and knowing where the surrounding furniture was. You couldn't see it, but it was almost like its presence was etched into your mind. The only difference was that you didn't know where the furniture was before closing your eyes, as if the knowledge of them was simply added to his awareness. And he could also feel the coldness and heat coming from the qi particles, of course. Each particle was the size of a sand grain.

After finding the cold qi, he focused on finding the hot one that came from his stability. It took him a few minutes, but he succeeded, and once again, he didn't feel both types of qi separately. Instead, it felt like a qi particle that had both characteristics.

He guessed the "merging" of heat and coldness had something to do with qi being everything. More than that, it was as if the same particle had endless potential to become whatever it wanted, even if they were opposite things like heat and coldness. Even the flavor text said, "fire is water," so it fit that the same particle was both hot and cold.

Now, for his goal in this qi sensing section. The same particle should also be able to become/show/reveal — or whatever it was called — the vibration of movement.

A sudden thought made him frown. If he was right in that, wouldn't it invalidate his theory that he had to find vibration qi to absorb it? He would be absorbing the same qi particle no matter what. What did it matter if he felt it differently first?

Well, if he failed to absorb vibration qi too, he would at the very least know the "endless potential theory" was right, or at least less wrong than his previous one. Humanity had evolved more in the few years of the age of science than in the hundreds of thousands of years before. To science, disproving a wrong theory was as important to progress as proving something was right.

Ricardo continued with his experiment. He failed to feel vibration qi long enough to get annoyed, then he realized the obvious: if emotions made him feel qi more easily, couldn't other things do the same? Couldn't movement help him feel the vibration qi it was linked to? So, couldn't he move to resonate with the part of qi that was related to movement?

He moved his arms fast, focusing on them, and sure enough, it only took him a few seconds to find the vibrating qi.

It was as if he suddenly could feel a part of qi particle that wasn't there before, and it was vibrating right while releasing both heat and cold.

Ricardo smiled and decided to do another experiment. He had originally wanted only to feel vibration qi, but if this particle was what he needed, using it might help him grow stronger faster. Giving up on two days of absorbing such particles as in his original plan would be stupid. Also, if he failed, he could think of other theories to pursue while he waited for his body to grow healthier.

He pulled the qi toward the center of his will, which once again was his heart, not his mind. He still found it weird. The particles came with ease, heat, cold, and vibration radiating from them and affecting his body on the way. Unfortunately, once it reached his heart, nothing happened, as usual. So, he pushed it to the rest of his body.

Once again, nothing happened. He kept trying for a very, very long time, but eventually just let go of it. He opened his eyes and was surprised to see two hours had gone by.

His Qi Gauge was blinking yellow slowly, meaning that what he had been doing had some chance of hurting him, but not a lot. He didn't mind it much; lifting iron also had a chance of hurting you if something went wrong, but it was necessary for muscle growth. In fact, it created microtears in the muscle; it did hurt, but it was a good pain. He doubted the brutal system would come with harmless qi for him to use, so instead, he took the blinking as a good sign.

He didn't feel any different, but an exciting message appeared in the corner of his vision when he opened his eyes.

Skill improved: (Common) Qi Control 2

+999 XP — 22,311 total

That had been easy, which he found very suspicious, especially because he got a lot of XP from it, almost the equivalent of killing to G-2s. What was the catch?

At least he now knew that playing with the qi helped him level up his skills, and it might also come with hidden benefits to his body. He checked his Qi Sense skill too.

Qi Sense | Common | 1 / 10 | 50%

It had increased by 48%, not bad at all. However, now he found it even more suspicious that he had leveled up Qi Control that easily. He had just found a novel way of feeling certain aspects of qi, but he had already absorbed and moved qi through his body before.

What was he missing?

Nothing came to him, so instead, he wondered about the aspects thing. Why had the very same qi particle with endless potential hurt him when he hadn't felt the vibration bit beforehand? He made many guesses, from the system being annoying to mystical wonders of the world. He picked a guess related to a word he had used before while thinking about qi.

Resonation.

When he focused on certain aspects of qi, he wasn't just feeling them but also was creating a kind of resonation between the qi particle and himself. If he didn't resonate with it, that aspect was kept "hidden" and his body rejected the qi that didn't match his essences.

Now that he thought about it, would it be possible for him to feel only the vibrating part of qi, with no heat or coldness? And could he use only it in his body?

He tried at once, and the answer was yes to both. He had to move his arms for ten minutes to feel the vibrating part of qi without "tainting" the particle with heat or coldness first, but he did feel it. And moving it through his body came with no pain or any harmful effects he could see.

When he opened his eyes, he was elated to find yet another system message.

Skill improved: (Common) Qi Sense 2

+999 XP — 23,310 total

But when he checked the Qi Control skill, his smile died.

Qi Control | Common | 2 / 10 | 0%

Qi Sense | Common | 2 / 10 | 0%

It was stuck at 0%. Either he had to move qi a lot more for the skill to rise again, or he would have to find a whole new way of controlling qi to level the skill up. Now, that matched the system he knew.

Ricardo knew what next step he wanted to take: shooting qi out of his body. According to the system, Martial Artists could weaponize qi, and he wanted to do that too. Though he didn't know what Martial Artists did with qi, he knew he wanted to use it as a long-range weapon for safety.

No time like the present to figure out a way to kill his enemies from a distance.

He only took a couple of minutes to feel the whole "triad-qi" and pull it into himself. Then he extended his stump — if it damaged him, he had already lost his hand there anyway — and willed the qi to leave.

The particle he was pushing hit a hard barrier. No matter how much he tried, the qi wouldn't leave his body. He focused on it more and more and started to physically feel himself pushing something with his head. A headache started, but he insisted.

And then he felt his stump exploding.

It wasn't a big explosion, more like a pimple being popped off, but it hurt. The qi he had been holding didn't even leave his body but dissipated into nothingness upon contact with the outside. And losing his connection to the qi hurt his head a lot.

He opened his eyes again to see his Qi Gauge blinking red and facepalmed. He had the damn Qi Gauge! Why wasn't he using it?! He could take things slow, stop now and then to check the gauge, even if he had to start over again. Why was he pushing so fast once again after having paid a hand to learn that power should be grown slowly? Why was he acting like a damn idiot?! He had even compared doing qi stuff to pumping iron, and results didn't come instantly with bodybuilding either!

The Qi Gauge was also half empty. He had used half his qi doing that, only it had had no effect, it had just dissipated. Nothing was different in the shelter either, proof that he had just wasted his energy.

His stump was throbbing, but the pain wasn't excessive. A quick look showed— That it was dark. He had to leave his shelter and look hard at it under the moonlight to see that it was just slightly damaged in the center where the growing skin had been more fragile. There wasn't even too much blood there.

It was his head that was suffering the most, and he suddenly realized he was feeling something moist below his nose. He touched it, and there was blood. It seemed he had even hurt his brain while trying to push the qi out of his body.

Slap.

He slapped his face hard. It wouldn't do for him to keep pushing so desperately for power. It wouldn't do for him to refuse to learn. It wasn't just his life at stake here, his family and the rest of humankind depended on him.

And as if to strike home he had just been stupid for no reason, neither the Qi Sense nor Qi Control skills had increased by even one percent.

A strand of thought agreed with him: a Hunter should have known better.

Ricardo frowned at that. That's right, he had a Path and a class now, yet neither seemed to help with qi. His Hunter instincts were absolutely silent about qi.

Or were they?

They had told him a Hunter didn't take any chances unless they were sure the reward was worth it. What did he know about qi? Almost nothing, only what the system had told him and what he had learned from fantasy anime. He didn't know for sure whether it would heal his hand, whether it would bring him enough power to survive before the year was over, whether it even could be weaponized with his class. Yet he had pushed for it.

Why?

Ricardo frowned deeper. Why, indeed? Why was he acting so recklessly? He had avoided a class because it sounded too reckless. Why was he pushing so fast forward at a great cost and no assured big reward at the end of the road? Even in the corporate world, that would be a kind of suicide. Here, it meant actual death.

He breathed the cold air of the evening and looked at the full moon in the skies.

Tears rolled from his eyes.

The answer came quickly: the loneliness just hurt so damn much. It was even worse now that he had lost his hand. There was no one there to comfort him, no one there to say it would be okay. Hell, there was no one there to tell him he was an idiot.

It was crushing. He was a social man. He had felt lonely when Ashley passed away, but he had done his best to fill it with meaningless things. It had worked better than most self-help social media posts would have anyone believe. Meaningless parties, meaningless relationships, meaningless sex, meaningless purchases; all took his mind away from the crushing cold of his soul.

But now Ricardo was forced to face his feelings. He was forced to stare his real self in the eyes with only beasts for company, and the fate of the human race on his shoulders. There was no way to blow up some steam, only never-ending danger. Even standing in the middle of his bridge, the safest place he knew of, might get him killed.

When the apocalypse arrived, he had cried a little, then told himself he would mourn later. That later had never arrived. Not until now.

He cried like a little kid. He crouched and hid his face with his hand and stump, then sat on the floor and cried more. He sobbed and let himself go.

There was no strength left in him. Oh, he would go against the system with all his might, he would come out on top and save humanity. But doing that alone would kill him on the inside, and he knew it.

He was so very glad for taking the essence of stability. Even now, he could almost feel it working, a tiny, tiny flame that he only thought might be burning in his heart. How much more self-destructive would he be acting if it weren't for that? Would he have tried to push qi out of his good hand? Out of his head? Would he be dead?

A moment later, that gladness was gone, incapable of supporting him alone, and despair returned.

He heard the cry of birds so close they could probably attack him, the sounds of rats attacking roaring beasts, the sounds of footsteps so heavy the ground shook. He didn't move. He needed that moment.

A Hunter always knew when to prioritize themselves.

He laughed amidst his sobs. Hunter? What Hunter? He was just a city boy who had survived a rat attack by sheer luck. He was the damn prey. Getting better at spotting unevenness on the ground was a cool trick, but it wouldn't help him survive.

He had lost a hand, for God's sake! That alone made him much worse in scavenging, and he needed that to survive! Not to mention actual hunting! His power was crippled already, and he had nothing to show for it. He couldn't even level up his power despite having the XP!

His instincts told him a Hunter faces the harsh truth but doesn't despair.

Instead of not despairing, Ricardo just sobbed harder at that thought. That was the proof. He was no Hunter.

He looked back at the moon and wished he hadn't resisted the damn system; he would be happier in the damn fridge.

He kept like that for a long time. There was no moment of enlightenment, no sudden surge of motivation. Only his tears, his despair, and his useless instincts made him company that night. Oh, and he also hated himself for wasting liquid crying when he had so little water left.

Hours later, he finally stopped crying. The tears had brought some relief, at least. Now needed a bed.

He would feel better in the morning. Probably.

And he dearly wished he had learned the lesson and stopped letting his despair push him to stupid decisions — like crying in the middle of the bridge right after thinking how it was potentially lethal.

God, he was a mess.

Yet, parts of himself were fighting back. As he stood up, his Hunter class, his stability flame that might not exist, and his essence of movement told him his "chaotic self" would disappear. That he was still adapting. That he was still syncing with his new, better, system-forged self.

Soon enough, he would be the Hunter, and the stability and movement would counter the overwhelming loneliness. He only had to give it time.

Ricardo refused to listen to the sweet voice of hope, for dwelling in despair came with its own kind of comfort — emos existed for a reason.

He almost chuckled at that thought, but instead, he went to his shelter, closed the door, and welcomed sleep like a long-lost lover.