The flowers were blooming, the birds were chirping, and the wind was softly blowing through the clearing, making it an idyllic day. Mr. Squirrel scampered across a large tree branch, looking for acorns. They were Mr. Squirrel’s favorite treat, and if he found any extra, there was a certain female squirrel, who he knew would love thank him for the gift in more than one way. He had no worries and no pressure unlike the poor fool screaming and running through the meadow nearby. Mr. Squirrel sat up on his hind legs and watched in idle curiosity as the two legged creature awkwardly ran away from the feathered one hunting him. It was a given what was going to happen, but Mr. Squirrel didn’t really care enough to watch further. He had acorns to find and lady squirrels to please.

As for the poor fool, he felt more pressure and had more worries than he wanted. “Seriously! Why meeeee!” He was running of course… Then again, he realized he had been running from one thing or another since he had arrived in the World Labyrinth. However, it was a bit different this time around. His enemy was in the air and based on periodic checks every few seconds, the creature was closing rapidly.

Richard hadn’t spent too much time analyzing the feathered brute swooping down on him before he started running. The basics of what he had seen had terrified him enough. Any fantasy or science fiction nerd could have figured out the identity of the creature from just one glance. What has four legs, the body of a lion, an eagle’s head, and a pair of large, bird wings? “A friggin’ gryphon… really!!!? Isn’t this supposed to be a safe zone!!!?” The rhetorical question was gasped out as Richard desperately ran on his already tired legs. He wasn’t breathing hard yet, but he knew it was only a matter of time before his lungs started burning and he collapsed. His goal… well, living was the ultimate goal, but his immediate hope was to get to the tree line as soon as possible. If he could do that, he knew he could hide among the trees and escape becoming monster shit.

He was so close that he could even see a squirrel scampering down the nearest tree. All he had was maybe 10 meters or so to go… Of course, the universe decided to drop a big pile of excrement right on top of him. He saw the dark shadow diving down on him from behind and dove to the ground just in time to dodge the large feathery/furry body that swooped past him. A gust of wind pummeled him down towards the ground, and he covered his head trying to protect what he could. Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught a glimpse of the furry rear of the gryphon as it landed hind legs first and slightly hopped to a stop. Richard spat out some grass that he had accidentally swallowed and looked up as the large creature twisted around, bringing its large eagle head around to lock its predatory gaze on him.

The monster was everything that Richard had imagined it would be, if not a bit bigger. It looked like its main body was larger than a minivan with each of its feathered wings probably being three or more meters long when extended. The back two thirds of the creature’s body was definitely covered in fur, looking like a lion’s body all the way down to the cat like hind legs and tail. The front third was covered in a mix of feathers and fur, almost like an imperfect blending, except for the head, which was that of an oversized eagle’s. Both of the gryphon’s yellow eyes focused on Richard, and its beak opened slightly as though it was considering taking a bite out of him.

However, Richard didn’t run. He slowly stood up, raising his hands above his head. The reason was less because of the griffin and more due to the small person sitting on the griffin’s back and aiming a stick of some kind in Richard’s direction. The little fellow was scowling, but Richard couldn’t tell much more of what the little person’s face looked like since he was wearing some kind of leather, aviator’s cap and a pair of old school, glass goggles. The little person slid off the back of the gryphon and quickly darted around the creature’s wings before approaching Richard.

To say Richard felt a little silly on top of being scared would be an understatement. He was literally being held up by some kid, who was dressed in some kind of tight, leather clothes and whose head barely came up to Richard’s abdomen in height. “Umm… I don’t have any candy?”

The little fellow spoke up with a slightly high pitched, singsong voice while pointing his stick threateningly at Richard.

“Flued den! Daten! Er ull blus yue! Gwet dan un den grund!”

Richard couldn’t understand what the little person was saying, but worse yet, he suddenly felt like he had bees buzzing around in his head. He winced and grabbed his head, saying, “I don’t understand… What are…”

“Get don! Basterd! Don muk me blas ya!”

Richard suddenly put two and two together. “Wait! Did you say ‘blast’? Hold on…” Before Richard could finish, the little fellow shoved the wooden stick forward a bit, and a bright yellow light shot out from it. Richard’s eyes rolled back up, and he felt himself twitching wildly before everything went dark.

------- Flying…. Pretty wings…. One bunny... two bunnies… bunny with fangs… turtle soup… big chicken barbeque… ACKKKK! Star Trek Midget!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Snort!

With a sudden jolt, Richard flailed awake and promptly fell off whatever he had been sleeping on. He hit the cold floor with a grunt and groaned as he looked up with squinted eyes. “Ohhh…. My head… What happe…?” Of course, everything suddenly came back to him: almost being killed by a huge, mutant turtle, almost being killed by a vicious bunny, almost being killed by a confused, flying chicken, and being held up by some kind of midget with an attitude. “Auggggh… little people, my ass… more like angry nut smashers…”

Sitting up on the floor, he rubbed his head, which hurt like crazy and peered around the dark room. He caught sight of the metal bars in front of him, so he realized he was in some kind of prison cell or something. Crawling over to the bars, He peered around at the dimly lit hallway outside. There were a half a dozen more cells lining the hallway, and it looked like at least a few of them were occupied by snoring individuals.

Richard wondered why he was in this place, and remembering all the crazy prison stories he had heard, he didn’t think remaining here would be conducive to his health. The smell in the place wasn’t the most pleasant either, reminding him of dried puke, rotting garbage, and dog crap all rolled in one. Shaking the bars weakly at first, he croaked out, “Heyy…. Anyone ouh ther….” Then, clearing his throat and putting a little more effort into it, he shouted, “Hey! Anyone there?! Hello!”

“Shur up, ya bassurd!”

“Freken shet yer mouth!”

As garbled as the words were, Richard understood their meaning and quietly ducked away from the bars. He walked back to the stone bench he had fallen off of and sat down, massaging his head, which hurt like hell. That’s when he realized something: the other prisoners weren’t speaking English. It sounded like whatever language the angry midget had been speaking in. “The trade language…” His eyes widened as he realized he was also speaking in the different language. Concentrating on what he was saying, he said a few phrases out loud until disbelief filled him. It was like he had the entire language fully installed in his head or something. He tried switching to English, and after a few tongue twists, he succeeded in talking in his native tongue. A little bit more effort and he found himself switching back and forth between the two languages almost like it he had grown up speaking both of them. “Damn… I wish I could have done this with Spanish II in highschool.”

As preoccupied as he was with muttering to himself, he didn’t realize someone was outside his cell until a voice said, “Ah… you can finally speak the trade language. Good. That’ll make things much easier.”

Richard looked up and jumped to his feet, hoping he was saved. It was hard to make out the face of the man, but there was definitely someone on the other side of the bars. “Yes… I can… speak now.” Richard spoke the phrase a little hesitantly since he was still getting used to the language, but he was more curious about who the man was. “Who are… you?”

Suddenly, a bright light lit up the hallway, and Richard winced as it blinded him temporarily. Blinking, he looked outside the cell… and felt his jaw drop. The blonde haired man outside was… handsome in a very feminine way. The closest thing Richard could think of was the various boy band members from earth, especially the Japanese, Chinese, and Korean ones. The man’s triangular face had those same soft features and radiated that smug superiority that said ‘I make women go gaga when I walk by.” However, what really shocked Richard were the long pointed ears that the man had and the liquidy, glowing ball of light the man held in one hand.

Richard mumbled, “Elf… magic… No frickin way….”