Right. Breath in. Breathe out. Ted had swiftly returned to his room after rekilling Mrs. Vogel again, and was now in the middle of freaking out. Right. Right. Right.

Okay, he had to...had to...had to think. Right. Right. Yes, thats good: he needed to think, to plan, to...to go over the ramifications of this, of the fact that there was a non-zero chance that whatever he killed would just be resurrected.

Good news! The sheer, absolute DREAD he was feeling was an excellent motivator! Why, Ted probably wouldn't be able to sleep for days because of this!

The bad news? Ted was utterly, completely, WHOLLY fucked. Boned. Doomed. Up a creek. First, it meant that to get out of his apartment and into the streets, he'd have to fight through hordes of monsters no matter how many times he was forced to kill them.

And worse, what about the streets themselves? wasn't arrogant enough to think this was just a misfortune plaguing him: chances were this was at a minimum city-wide, potentially GLOBAL. Ted had prior refused to think about the wider implications of what was happening in his apartment, but now that luxury was denied to him: there was a very real chance that even if he escaped, the situation would still be impossibly dire, with armies of unkillable monsters ravaging the outside.

Ted paused, laid down on the floor, and began to panic, tears flowing from his eyes. Even if he escaped, what would it matter? He was...he was...doomed. Doomed. From his resting point, he spotted his collection of medicine he had stolen.

Maybe...maybe it would be easier...easier if I...

Ted wanted there to be another awnser, ANY other awnser. The option of...ending things...

It was one he had once considered before, and he still regretted it.

Doing it again? Wasn't an idea he wanted to entertain, but it was, at the moment, the only option he felt he had available to him. He wasn't...he wasn't a survivor. He could barely make ends meet before the apocalypse. How was he going to make due AFTER? He stood up, walked over to the pill bottles, and begun reaching for them, before something caught his eye.

Tortoise, standing at the edge of his cage, staring at Ted, whiskers twitching.

Ted immediately felt awful. If he...if he took that option, who would take care of Tortoise? The bunny...the bunny depended on him. To leave him without a caretaker would be...would be grossly negligent.

Teds arm fell, and he backed away from his medicine. Right. Right, he couldn't consider...that. Not yet. Not now. He had to think over...something else.

He sat down, and began thinking.

Okay. Okay so. He had to start...planning long term. First, he had...to distribute his skills.

Name

Level

XP

An average office worker. Suffers from insomnia and slight depression. No other discernable features.

Ted J

5

40/150

STR

INT

AGI

WIS

PER

SPRT

CHA

END

LUK

11(+)

10(+)

18(+)

7(+)

21 (+)

1 (+)

6 (+)

12 (+)

4 (+)

Affinities

Black

White

Blue

Red

Green

5

0

2

0

3

Right. He...had good PER and AGI. Strength was...acceptable. END was...he could live with it. Short term, he was...he was set. Long term...

He saw SPRT again, and considered raising it just to see what it DID, exactly, then dismissed the idea. Stat points were in rare supply and he didn't feel like wasting them like he had the perk point he spent on Looter.

He continued thinking for a moment, then spent the points on both AGI and STR, with STR getting the extra point. When he got out of here, he needed to be quick, and he needed to hit hard.

After that, he checked his perks.

Perks

Wyld

Rank 1

Increased Green Mana affinity, ???, ???, ???.

Office Drone

Rank 3

Years of working in an office under terrible conditions has blackened your heart. At this rank, you have +2 Black Mana affinity, moderate resistance to tedium and despair, and +5 CHA when dealing with office politics or close analogues.

Educated

Rank 2

You’re well educated, having attained a degree in college. At this rank, skills rank up faster, you gain +5 INT in Academic settings, and you have +1 Blue Mana affinity.

Oath of Care

Rank 1

You’ve dedicated yourself to caring for a particular creature. At this rank, +1 to all stats when acting in the defence of another.

Blackcloak

Rank 4

Darkness is your ally, the people who dwell in it, your kin, and in your wake, you trail shadows and conspiracy. At this rank, you enjoy +10 CHA when dealing with criminals and ne'er-do-wells, an increase in Black Mana affinity, have access to minor Darkvision, and recieve a small bonus to all skills when engaged in skullduggery.

Looter

Rank 2

You're a master at lucky finds, to the point where some might think you can smell treasure. At this rank, much better chance of finding better items and resources, and all treasure caches have more loot.

DIY

Rank 1

You're the crafty sort, literally. Items you make are just plain BETTER than they reasonably should be. At this rank, items you create will have a bonus enhancement. Further, you gain the ability to see the status of items you create.

Bag of Holding

Rank 2

Any proper looter needs a way to carry his stolen treasures, and you were the type to have a LOT of loot. At this rank, this perk causes one bag or container on the holders person to be able to hold three times as much, without altering its outside size, and provides +1 Blue Mana Affinity

Scrappy

Rank 3

Scavenging was dangerous work: you never knew if there existed hidden enemies or traps, and it payed to be able to bounce back quickly from whatever injuries these cause. At this rank, you heal moderately faster from all injuries, have +2 Green Mana Affinity, and when recently injured gain a brief, small bonus to all stats.

Physical Fitness

Rank 1

You are an exemplar of physical health and fortitude! At this rank, this perk makes you tire slightly slower!

Blackcloak was...interesting. It explained his sudden ability to see in darkness, at least, though its description had begun to sound rather...well, ominous. At the very least, its utility had increased a fair amount. Sadly, raising it wasn't on the table at the moment.

The real options were, again, Scrappy, Bag of Holding, and Physical Fitness. Because at the moment, they were the skills that Ted felt would help him the most long term.

Ted thought it over a minute, and invested his twin perk points in Physical Fitness and Bag of Holding, reasoning that at the moment, he needed to get tough quick, and when he escaped, he needed to carry as many supplies as possible.

Bag of Holding Rank 3 Any proper looter needs a way to carry his stolen treasures, and you were the type to have a LOT of loot, taking everything that wasn't nailed down (and then stealing the nails). At this rank, this perk causes one bag or container on the holders person to be able to hold four times as much, without altering its outside size, provides +2 Blue Mana Affinity, and items stored this way weighing half as much. Physical Fitness Rank 2 You are a paragon of personal health and fortitude! At this rank, you tire moderately slower and gain +1 White Mana Affinity!

That...was fairly good. Ted perked up a little. Now when he escaped, he could probably carry all his things with him, at least, the things he wanted to keep, like the sewing machine.

The physical fitness improvement was minor, but acceptable. It meant at the very least his efforts to work out would fare better, and when he escaped, he was less likely to exhaust himself in the process.

Okay. On that note. Time to get buff.

The next few days weren't a flurry of activity. Ted knew well enough that doing too much, too fast was a good way to get exhausted. Instead, Ted operated at a steady pace. When he woke up, he exercised. He spent the middle of the day visiting the hallway and bumping off zombies, taking care not to slay them ALL, lest he summon the floor boss again.

Because, while he felt he could take her now, doing so would probably require bullets spent, and ammo was, at the moment, Teds most prized commodity.

Slowly, over the days, Teds skills began to increase, his stats began to rise, and his level slowly inched upwards. His wounds began to mend, day by day, the blisters going away and the bite healing.

And, of course, while this happened his food supply slowly dwindled despite Teds commitment to rationing it and his scavenging of other apartments.

Ted was still committed to escaping, of course: even if the world outside was in dire shape, chances were, it was better off than here, and even if it wasn't, it at least would have more resources than a single apartment. At least Ted wouldn't be trapped.

Soon, the day of reckoning approached. The day that would decide whether Ted lived or died. The day Ted left his apartment.

Ted looked over his gear. Guns? Check. Pan? Check. Golf clubs? Check. Que-Spears? Check checkity check. Backpack was filled. Thanks to its spacial-warping capabilities, he had managed to fit Tortoises cage inside. Hopefully it wouldn't be too jostled.

Next, stats.

Name

Level

XP

An average office worker. Suffers from insomnia and slight depression. No other discernable features.

Ted J

9

15/190

STR

INT

AGI

WIS

PER

SPRT

CHA

END

LUK

20

10

21

7

27

1

6

17

4

Affinities

Black

White

Blue

Red

Green

9

2

3

1

5

His stats had improved, finally breaking past the twenty mark. His Black Mana affinity had risen a fair amount, as had his other affinities, though not to the same extent. Of course, he still wasn't sure what they DID.

Perks

Wyld

Rank 1

Increased Green Mana affinity, ???, ???, ???.

Office Drone

Rank 3

Years of working in an office under terrible conditions has blackened your heart. At this rank, you have +2 Black Mana affinity, moderate resistance to tedium and despair, and +5 CHA when dealing with office politics or close analogues.

Educated

Rank 2

You’re well educated, having attained a degree in college. At this rank, skills rank up faster, you gain +5 INT in Academic settings, and you have +1 Blue Mana affinity.

Oath of Care

Rank 1

You’ve dedicated yourself to caring for a particular creature. At this rank, +1 to all stats when acting in the defence of another.

Blackcloak

Rank 8

Darkness is your ally, the people who dwell in it, your kin, and in your wake, you trail shadows and conspiracy, a silent knife in the dark. At this rank, you enjoy +15 CHA when dealing with criminals and ne'er-do-wells, an increase in Black Mana affinity, have access to moderate Darkvision, and recieve a small bonus to all skills when engaged in skullduggery.

Looter

Rank 2

You're a master at lucky finds, to the point where some might think you can smell treasure. At this rank, much better chance of finding better items and resources, and all treasure caches have more loot.

DIY

Rank 1

You're the crafty sort, literally. Items you make are just plain BETTER than they reasonably should be. At this rank, items you create will have a bonus enhancement. Further, you gain the ability to see the status of items you create.

Bag of Holding

Rank 4

Any proper looter needs a way to carry his stolen treasures, and you were the type to have a LOT of loot, taking everything that wasn't nailed down (and then stealing the nails). At this rank, this perk causes one bag or container on the holders person to be able to hold four times as much, without altering its outside size, provides +2 Blue Mana Affinity, and items stored this way weighing half as much. Further, at this rank, you can store small living creatures in this container.

Scrappy

Rank 5

Scavenging was dangerous work: you never knew if there existed hidden enemies or traps, and it payed to be able to bounce back quickly from whatever injuries these cause, and ignore their effects. At this rank, you heal faster from all injuries, have +4 Green Mana Affinity, when recently injured gain a brief bonus to all stats, and gain moderate pain resistance.

Physical Fitness

Rank 4

You are a paragon of personal health and fortitude, having the physique of a professional athlete! At this rank, you tire much slower, gain +2 White Mana Affinity, and +1 Red Mana Affinity, and learn physical skills quicker!

Haggler

Rank 1

You are adept at getting the best prices when negotiated. +5 CHA when doing business.

Perks were...interesting. He had leveled up Scrounger and gotten a new perk from it, this one relating to trade, apparently. Otherwise, Holding was up, Physical Fitness was up, Blackcloak was way up, and Scrappy was up.

Speaking of...

Ted glanced at his wounds. The blisters were almost entirely gone and the bite had faded quite a bit. Apparently his perk choice had paid off. Normally the bite at least should have taken a month to heal, but with Scrappy, he gave it another week, tops.

Skills had risen rather slowly. Recycling and Sewing had increased through Ted convering his entire wardrobe into more pockets and bags. He had gained another level of Improvised Weapon, Animal Training, and Lockpicking. Otherwise, not many developments on that end.

Right. Everything accounted for. Time to get moving. Ted turned his stereo player on. This wasn't going to be subtle. Ted was sick and tired of being subtle. Now?

Now things were gonna get LOUD.

"I feel alive and the world I'll turn it inside out, yeah,

And floating around in ecstasy,

So don't stop me now, don't stop me,

'Cause I'm having a good time, having a good time!"

Ted grinned. Time to have himself a REAL good time. Kicking his door open, he stepped into his apartment, drawing his pan and whacking the closest ghoul. THUN-KRUNCH.

"I'm a shooting star, leaping through the sky,

Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity,

I'm a racing car, passing by like Lady Godiva

I'm gonna go, go, go

There's no stopping me!"

Ted swung again, hitting another zombie hard enough to send the top of its head flying. Again he swung, and again, and again, making his way to the stairs. The moment he got there, he saw a familiar face at the bottom of the stairwell. Mrs. Vogels back.

"Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time,

I'm having a ball,

Don't stop me now,

If you wanna have a good time, just give me a call!"

She rushed at him, claws outstretched...

Only to run into Teds pan. THUNK, THUNK, THUNK.

"Don't stop me now ('cause I'm having a good time)

Don't stop me now (yes, I'm havin' a good time)

I don't want to stop at all!"

Mrs. Vogel fell back to the bottom of the stairwell, tumbling down, her bones making a snapping noise as she descended. Ted drew a spear and LEPT down the stairs, driving his spear into Mrs. Vogels prone body, pinning her to the floor.

"Yeah, I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars,

On a collision course,

I am a satellite, I'm out of control,

I am a sex machine, ready to reload,

Like an atom bomb about to,

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh explode!"

He drew his pistol. BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, click. The body stopped twitching. Mrs. Vogel is gone. Ted continued down the stairwell, dashing towards the exit, holstering his now empty pistol.

He reached the second floor, and exited into the hallway, spotting several winged creatures that VERY CLOSELY resembled what Ted imagined when he thought about demons. At this point, Ted was past caring. He rushed into the oncoming horde, singing along to the song as he swung his pan and slashed his switchblade.

"I'm burnin' through the sky, yeah,

Two hundred degrees,

That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit,

I'm traveling at the speed of light,

I wanna make a supersonic woman of you!"

CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH!

Ted danced around the creatures, moving with more grace and speed than he had ever moved before, his voice loud and carrying as he belted to the sound of the song, his pan impacting the monsters and sending them flying.

However, quick as he was, his luck ran out, and a demonic fist impacted him, sending him flying into the wall. He heard a crunch, and the song he was listening to changed to something much more mellow, much more poppy.

"I hopped off the plane at LAX,

With a dream and my cardigan,

Welcome to the land of fame excess,

Whoa, am I gonna fit in? Jumped in the cab,

Here I am for the first time,

Look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign,

This is all so crazy,

Everybody seems so famous." Ted jumped up, looked around at the now wary looking demons, and grinned. "Jokes on you. I've rocked out to way worse." He rushed into the group of demons, again swinging. "My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick

Too much pressure and I'm nervous,

That's when the taxi man turned on the radio,

And the Jay Z song was on,

And the Jay Z song was on,

And the Jay Z song was on." Ted continued singing along as he laid into the devils minions with all the fervor of an angry nun during christmas. Sure, Hannah Montana or whatever she called herself these days wasn't his musician of choice, but it made a surprisingly effective demon-killing anthem.

"So I put my hands up,

They're playing my song,

And the butterflies fly away,

Noddin' my head like, yeah,

Movin' my hips like, yeah!"

Soon, the pile of demons in the hallway were either dead, or fleeing for their life. Ted continued his path to the stairs, only for him to spy a much bigger, angrier looking demon ascending the stairs. Ted grinned.

"I got my hands up,

They're playin' my song,

You know I'm gonna be okay,

Yeah, it's a party in the USA!

Yeah it's a party in the USA!"

Ted rushed the demon, ducking under one of its claw swipes before slamming his pan into its face. THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK! Stumbling backwards, the Demon attempted to swipe at Ted again, who handily side stepped it before drawing his shotgun.

"Get to the club in a taxi cab,

Everybody's looking at me now,

Like "who's that chick, that's rockin' kicks?

She's gotta be from out of town""

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG. The demon was knocked into the wall by the force of the blast, and even Ted was slightly moved back by the force of the gun. Ted quickly stowed his gun, and pulled out another cue spear.

"So hard with my girls not around me,

Its definitely not a Nashville party,

Cause' all I see are stilettos,

I guess I never got the memo!"

The demon did a quick spin, apparently trying to knock Ted down using its tail. Ted responded by giving a great leap over the tail, slamming his spear into the spinning demons back, and holding on for dear life. The demon responded by letting out a roar of pain and trying to shake Ted off, to which the officeworker responded by pulling out his shiv again and repeatedly stabbing it into the demons spine.

"My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick,

Too much pressure and I'm nervous,

That's when the D.J. dropped my favorite tune,

And a Britney song was on!

And a Britney song was on!

And a Britney song was on!"

Ted held a close grip on the spear as the demon thrashed around, but slowly it began to still, and then stop, falling to the ground, leaking black ichor. Ted yanked his spear out and began walking his way to the stairs.

"Human...I...will have...my revenge..."

Ted paused, and turned back. "You say something?" He asked, casually.

"I said...I will have...my revenge...your name human....give me your name...so that I know who to HATE," The demon ground out. Ted paused, then shrugged. Sure, he'd give it a name, why not?

"I'm Hanna Fucking Montana," the Officeworker said without a hint of irony. Nothing said he had to give the thing his REAL name.

"Then...know this, Hanna Montana...You have gained my enimity. I will return, and hunt you down. KNOW THIS, HANNA MONTANA, YOU HAVE GAINED THE WRATH OF HELL!" The demon said, roaring the last bit, before giving out a horrible coughing noise, its eyes finally closing, and going still.

Ted shrugged, and continued sauntering down the stairs.

"So I put my hands up,

They're playing my song,

And the butterflies fly away,

Noddin' my head like, yeah!

Movin' my hips like, yeah!"

The first floor was empty, thankfully. Teds path to the exit was unobstructed. Walking out the front door, into freedom, into the city. Breathing in, Ted looked around. He was out. He was finally out. His grin intensified. It was a terrible, foggy autumn afternoon, and Ted loved it.

"I got my hands up,

They're playin' my song,

You know I'm gonna be okay,

Yeah, it's a party in the USA!

Yeah it's a party in the USA!"

For the first time in awhile, Ted felt something approaching hope. Maybe things would turn out alright.

240 XP gained! Level up! +3 AGI, +3 PER, +3 Stat Points, Blackcloak Rank Up, +1 Perk Point.

Sneak Level Max. Gained perk Nyx. Gained an additional Perk Point.

Select New Class?

Y/N?

What.

End of Trapped Arc. Next Arc: Search.