I opened my eyes and felt like I was dying.

Groaning, I rolled out of bed and landed on the floor with a thump. I spent a few moments on the cool wooden boards psyching myself up for what I would discover when I lifted the blankets.

Come on, Joan, it’s not that big of a deal, just do it already.

I lugged myself to my knees and tossed my blanket up. The big red spot on the mattress confirmed my suspicions.

My period had come.

And-

“Goddamnit, Kuro. That’s my blood you’re sitting on.”

I lifted the creature off the bed. Its fur was black, so any bloodstains couldn’t be seen unless one looked closely.

That… sounded sinister. Well, it was just Kuro. I plopped it onto my shoulder.

I swiped my fingers across my ass and grimaced at the sticky red left on my fingers. Trying to get the blood off everything was always the worst part.

But wait! I perked up, remembering I was in a fantasy world with magic. I closed my eyes, gathering up the magic I could feel in my core, and imagined the blood disappearing.

Skill proficiency reached. [Clean] has reached Level 1.

Hell yeah.

The bed had returned to its original colour and my ass was no longer covered in blood. I pumped my fist with a silent whoop. No longer would I have laboriously hand wash everything I’d bled on; I could just wave my hand and it would be gone.

Now, if only there was a skill that could get rid of the pain…

Skill proficiency reached. [Resist Pain] has reached Level 1.

…Good enough.

Kuro purred comfortingly on my back as I lay face down on the sofa and waited for someone else to come cook breakfast. Usually, whoever got up first would cook, but, y’know, period pain. At least mine only came every few months instead of every month.

I used to be one of those girls who would lord how I had painless periods over everyone else. This was what they called karma.

“…Joan?”

I’d been so engrossed in the pain that I hadn’t noticed Arsral had entered the combined kitchen/dining/living room until he spoke.

“G’mornin’,” I mumbled into the cushions.

“Is everything… alright?”

“Being female is horrible. Menstruation is horrible.”

“Ah.”

There was silence for a few long moments, then something was tapped against my head. I looked up to see Arsral holding a vial of health potion and looking faintly uncomfortable.

“I’ve been told that drinking health potions helps with the pain.”

I took it from him, uncorking it and tipping about half of it into my mouth. Immediately, the pain subsided enough that I didn’t feel like jumping off a cliff anymore.

“Thanks.”

“It’s coming out of your pay.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Soon, the smell of breakfast roused me from my place on the sofa. Arswen had come down a few minutes before and was sitting on the other end of the sofa, patting my head sympathetically.

After a meal of bread and porridge, it was time to get the store ready. I waved Arsral’s offer to move my day off to today. I could work. I was just going to be grumpier than usual while doing so.

Maybe the customers could sense my bad mood, because they were even less difficult than usual. On second thought, it might have had more to do with the combination of the knife in my hands and my face, which I had been told was deeply intimidating when I didn’t smile, than their social intelligence.

I had conjured the knife to whittle away both a block of conjured wood and the time. I was feeling pretty good about the pun and felt like maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all, but then…

“Ahem!”

It was Heouie. Lovely. I didn’t bother to hide my distaste at his presence, top lip curling back freely.

“I’d say welcome to Cleimeph, but you’re really not. Why are you here.” I didn’t bother turning it into a question.

“Now, is that any way to treat a customer? Really, I don’t know how you haven’t been fired yet.”

A muscle beneath my eye twitched. Looks like he forgotten what had transpired just a few days ago. I itched to remind him.

“Cut to the chase, Heouie. I got full authority to kick anyone I don’t like out.”

At this moment, I really wished I could crack every one of my knuckles like a friend of mine. But unfortunately, I couldn’t, so I had to settle for twirling my knife around my fingers. Intimidating, sure, but it was more ‘slit your throat’ than the ‘forcibly remove you from the premises’ I was going for. Heouie visibly gulped when he saw the way the knife flashed through my fingers.

“Fine,” he sniffed, turning his head up at me. “After our conversation a few days ago, as much as it pains me to admit it, you may have had a point. Perhaps I have been going about this incorrectly.”

His admission threw me and I almost fumbled with my knife. Narrowing my eyes at him, I sensed that there was more he had to say.

“And…?”

“And every great love story has to have a great rival and after your performance last time, I have deemed you worthy!”

“Absolutely not,” I said, and was ignored.

“On my next visit, I will challenge you to a battle of wits! When I win, Arsral will see how I am obviously so much better than you and fall into my arms! So be prepared!”

Is he for real?

“I refuse,” I said, but the pompous ass had already flounced out of the shop.

I looked at Kuro. Kuro looked at me.

I made several boi motions in Heouie’s general direction with my hands. Kuro copied me with its ears. I aimed my hands in the other direction and did the same thing. Kuro copied me again. I brought my hands together and pulled them apart again, then made all kinds of strange hand gestures, Kuro copying my movements as well as it could.

“What are you doing?”

Kuro and I froze in the middle of our game of mirror.

“Heouie just came in and declared me his rival,” I said instead of answering Arsral’s question.

“He…” Arsral sighed and covered his forehead with a hand. “Alright, then. Don’t lose to him, Joan.”

“Is that really all you have to say on the matter?”

“He’s declared you his rival, which means he won’t bother me until he defeats you. He’s your problem now. Good luck.”

“Wait, what?”