Kolar

Way Bad

Servantis

Swift

Leander

Phil Billings

VS

Captain America

Thor

Falcon

Creel

Warrior

Dial

Sam Wilson/Falcon

“I’ve been flying for a while up here, guys,” Sam said, looking down at the ground as he tumbled through the air. He aimed himself toward one building in particular. “We sure this is the place?”

The place was an industrial container terminal, right next to the river. No one was working there. Not since the Avengers had tracked strange energy signatures in the area, which had been connected to similar energy signatures found at a jewelry store that had been robbed just a week ago. Sam was trying to see if he could get a view of what was causing those, but all he’d done was fly for a few minutes. As of right then, only six Avengers were available to check in on it. Captain America, Dial, Sam himself, Creel, Warrior, and-

“Indeed,” Sam almost had a heart attack when Thor came out of the sky, flying alongside him for a moment before disappearing at high speed. Thor continued speaking, Sam listening through his radio. “This place seems completely empty.”

“Watch where you’re flying!” Sam said, drifting down to a building that looked like a large warehouse and landing in front of it. Thor landed next to him, giving Sam an embarrassed look.

“Apologies, Son of Wil. I do not have the precision you do in flight.”

“Fast as hell though,” Sam admitted. “Even if you do fly like you’re constantly strapped to a meteor.”

“It’s pronounced ‘Mjolnir’,” Thor said helpfully.

Sam shook his head, chuckling. Then he looked over the area. “What do you think, hammer boy? We got anything to worry about?”

“I believe we do,” Thor said grimly. He looked around. “I sense some sort of fel magic has taken place here. The energies here… it is like the Convergence has happened once more.”

“That whole thing with portals all over London?” Sam shook his head. “Yeah, after Rio, I think I’ve had enough of that kind of thing. Just feel like we fight enough weirdness on Earth without adding to it, you know?”

“I do know,” Thor’s voice took on a melancholy tone. “I hope this is not yet another Asgardian problem. My people have caused enough trouble for your-”

“Oh please,” Sam rolled his eyes, giving Thor a grin. “Like you're responsible for what a bunch of dickheads from your world does. I might as well take the blame for HYDRA stealing stuff from you.”

“But the chaos we cause when we arrive-” Thor was ready to say.

“Look,” Sam cut him off, lifting a hand up. “You’ve been helping out Earth for what, four years now? Little more? I doubt you haven’t made up for what your brother and a bunch of guys related to Asgard’s history have done. Far as I’m concerned, we’re square,” Sam patted his arm with a grin. “And I’m not just saying that because you can toss me into the sun.”

Thor laughed at that, giving Sam a large smile. “Thank you, friend Sam. I will admit, I do worry about-”

“Yo!” Thor was interrupted when someone came around the corner. They turned around and saw Izzy walking over. The powerful brunette woman was dressed in her knight-like armor, sword on her back. Her helmet was removed, allowing her hair to flow as she walked over, giving Thor and Sam a bored look. “I don’t suppose either of you found a fight somewhere around her.”

“Ha!” Thor barked. “I agree, Lady Hartley. I hope for a battle for the ages!”

“As long as it isn’t over too quickly, ya know? Lately, all I’ve fought is thugs and mercs,” Izzy sighed dramatically. “What’s the point of this fancy armor if I don’t get to really test it out, ya know?”

“Hey, I’m all for the overkill,” Sam said. “I don’t mind a fight for the right reasons, but getting my ass kicked isn’t something I’m eager for.”

“Ah, come Sam!” Thor placed a heavy arm around Sam’s shoulder. “Where is your warrior’s spirit!? The drive for battle, the wish to prove yourself against an enemy worthy of your strength!”

“I’m more of a ‘do what I have to for the right thing’ kind of guy,” Sam said honestly.

“Awwww, that’s boring though!” Izzy grumbled. Sam shrugged, smirking.

“What can I say? All the monsters coming out of the woodwork makes me want to tone things back. You can only fight so many demons and mutants before you start to relish normal gangsters.”

“We don’t fight that many monsters,” Izzy said with a sigh.

It was then that a building exploded.

Sam staggered back as dust blew outwards from a warehouse several dozen feet away from them, steel and concrete shattering. And a massive purple form lifted up into the air. Sam stared at the being that stood up, higher and higher, towering over them. The earth shook under a massive footstep, a shadow falling across the three of them as Sam tried to comprehend the sheer size of that being.

“Nice tits,” Izzy said nonchalantly.

“What.” Sam stared at her. The giant monster strode forward, but Izzy ignored it to look at him.

“Well, look at her. Even if we ignore the fact she’s a giant, she’s got some nice proportions-”

“HER BEING A GIANT IS ALL WE SHOULD FOCUS ON!” Sam exploded. “Where the hell did she come from!?”

“She is no Frost Giant. A worthy opponent nonetheless!” Thor said happily, twirling the hammer in his hand with a savage laugh.

Before he could do anything, however, something smashed through a wall. For a moment, at the sight of the four arms and the muscular powerful body, Sam thought it was Dial in Four Arms form. Until he noticed the pale blue-gray skin and long hair, rather than Four Arm’s dark red skin and bald head. Red eyes glared at them. The being was a little shorter and less built than Four Arms, but he was still at least thirteen feet tall, rippling with muscle, and now running right towards them.

Sam leaped back, holding back the urge to start shooting. While he had some powerful weapons available to him nowadays, most weren’t built to defeat things as durable as Four Arms.

Thor, on the other hand, was.

“Come, brute!” Thor ran forward, Mjolnir raised. “Have at thee!”

“You think you can take on Kolar!?” two fists smashed into Thor’s face, sending out a shockwave, then uppercuting him in the stomach. “Bring it on huma-”

A hammer to the chin shut up whoever this Kolar guy was. Thor grinned, his eyes gleaming with savage pride. “I am not a human. I am a god.”

Thor punched Kolar, who backflipped to get out of the way.

“Falcon to all Avengers on site, we have two meta beings!” Sam shouted, lifting into the air.

“Same here!” Dial said through the radio. “I’m taking over tactical control of the mission. I’m going to go deal with the Way Bad!”

“You know what that thing is?”

“Intimately. I know these guys. Steve is dealing with the leader, Creel is headed your way with the other three! Sam, take on the girl with wings, Creel will handle the furry one, Izzy, your suit is hardened against rads so you can take on the one that looks like NRG’s little brother!”

Before Sam could say anything, a wall nearby shattered into concrete dust. Creel came out of it, rolling on the ground for a moment before snapping to his feet. Sam and Izzy took a spot on either side of him, facing whoever had sent him through the wall. Two men and one woman came out of the hole. All three were wearing similar uniforms, with black armored plating over a lighter shade colored black undersuit, with silver linings around the edges of the armor.

One of them was female, with red skin, short red-black hair, red eyes, and a yellow pair of eyebrows or something. Her feet and hands had three digits each, a long tail was coming from her back, and she had wing flaps under her arms.

The second one was human-shaped, with a powerful-looking build, but had a helmet that looked like a smaller version of NRG’s. He blasted out red energy as he stepped forward. Izzy stepped in front of them, a shield of catoms flowing on her arm and taking the blast. The laser turned the catoms to slag but were successfully blocked, Izzy glaring at the tall man.

The last one surprised Sam. Because he looked like a human soldier. He was well built, caucasian, with grey-white pulled into a ponytail, and slightly scraggly beard around his face. He raised his hands as he came forward.

“Hold on!” the man said. “Wait for a second! We aren’t here to fight!”

“You put me through a wall,” Creel said idly. He was in his human form, but Sam could see his gauntlet, full of useful materials, shining on his arm, a large box-shaped object on his back. “I tend to start fights with people who do that.”

“It’s the laser that does it for me,” Izzy said, looking like a little girl about to get a new doll as she slowly raised her sword, the armored knight of the Avengers ready to brawl.

Sam had to step in. Dial likely had good reason for why he thought these guys were hostile. If he could get some time...

“Wait a sec,” Sam stepped forward. Izzy and Creel stepped back, but stayed ready. “Who are you? Why is that guy with the four arms attacking one of my team? You with him and the 300-foot tall woman?”

Why were these sentences so normal in his life now?

“The Way Bad and Kolar?” the man shook his head. “No. I apologize for my compatriots’ original attack,” Sam noted that the guy was beginning to step to the side. Sam slowly backed away, keeping his eyes on him. “My name is Phil Billings. We’re the Rooters, members of an organization that fights alien criminals in my world. We aren’t here to fight. But as I said, we’re from another world, another dimension. We were just confused. We want to go home.”

“The Rooters tried to kill a 16 year old superhero because they thought he was going to end the universe. He wasn’t. They’re the worst kind of military intelligence. Shoot a possible threat while it’s still an ally. Like every general who keeps urging us to find a way to kill the Hulk or Thor. Or me,” Dial said. The sounds of explosions were going off in the distance, the purple-being screaming.

“If that’s the case,” Sam said, keeping an eye on all three. “We can talk about that. I’m Sam Wilson, of the Avengers, a peacekeeping organization. We can help you. Provided that you-”

A voice came in on the radio. Steve. “Avengers. The leader of these metas, Servantis, just initiated a psychic assault on my mind. Consider them-” the sound of a shield bouncing off a hard surface was followed by a posh accent cursing. “Hostile.”

Phil looked up. He apparently received a message of his own, as did the winged woman and armored man. For a moment the six of them eyed each other.

Dial was speaking as quickly as he could. “The girl is Swift. She can fly fast as fuck, and has laser eyes and a laser tail. But she can’t take a beating, so stay on your toes and you can take her Sam. Phil can transform into a monster with enhanced physical abilities, can absorb energy, and interfere with my Omnitrix. Creel can beat the shit out of him while ignoring his lightning blasts and lasers. Izzy, you’ve got the skills to take on Leander, the NRG knockoff, just avoid his direct radiation attacks. Steve. Servantis can manipulate minds, move things with telekinesis, levitate, make force fields, and shoot electric beams. He’s a badass. But you’re Captain America.”

A whistling sound filled the air. The six of them looked out at the harbor. For a moment, just a moment they could see the purple woman facing a flying green light flashing at her. The light smashed into the woman, sending 300 hundred feet of monster movie reject skidding back.

That might as well have been the signal. Sam’s wings snapped out. Phil shifted into a furry monster. Creel’s skin became a dark black like rubber. Izzy’s sword snapped out as she went for Leander, a red blast aiming for her head that she barely dodged.

Sam lifted up into the air. Swift followed. In a blaze of speed, the two went into the sky, and the fight began.

Steve Rogers/Captain America

At first, Steve had tried to be nice. He’d seen the man on his own. Tall, almost seven feet, and thin. His skin was red, and his head was elongated, like the Leader’s. Unlike Sterns, his head seemed to be covered in a carapace, like the armor of a crab.

Steve had been ready to give the man the benefit of the doubt. Simply attacking someone for being a meta, for looking so different from the norm, went against his nature.

So Steve had walked in, cautious, but not about to attack without reason. Then, a blast of red lightning slammed into him.

And he found himself in the War.

He stared around himself. He was in the War. It didn’t matter what time, what place. He was in a fight again. All around him, allies were fighting enemies. Maybe they were Bucky, or the Howling Commandos, Avengers, SHIELD, or BRIDGE. Maybe they were fighting HYDRA or the Chitauri.

All that mattered was that he was in the war. And someone was fighting him.

“Impressive,” a voice said. Steve blocked a punch, snapped a kick out that was dodged, blocked a blast of electricity on a shield that shifted shapes and colors. “Most minds that resist me have had practice. Years of experience with mental defense. But you? How are you fighting me?”

The voice sounded amused. Steve fought with everything he had. As best he could.

“Is it some form of misguided patriotism? That incredibly naive look at the world, or-”

Steve hit the enemy in the face. The world shook. The voice let out a gasp of noise. Steve focused on that.

“Bow,” a voice snarled. The weight on Steve’s shoulder became insane. “I am Servantis. And you will listen to me. Tell your team to stand down. To let us go!”

There was a war. There was an enemy. And there was the right thing to do. The people he had to fight for. The ones he knew, the invisible ones he would never know, but who he had to save all the same. He reached for that. The world was not black and white. But for Steve, that didn’t matter. As long as there was good in the world…

Steve planted his feet. The enemy surrounded him. An intangible body that pressed to his skin. He lifted his shield, and threw it forward. For a moment, he wasn’t throwing a shield. He was throwing everything. His beliefs, hopes, his willpower. Not a metal frisbee, but all the things that represented him. Red, white, and blue flashed through the war. And the voice shouted.

Steve’s mind cleared. The man he’d been facing staggered back. Servantis. That was what he’d said his name was.

“Avengers. The leader of these metas, Servantis, just initiated a psychic assault on my mind. Consider them,” Steve tossed his shield, and it hit the chest of the man. “Hostile!”

“Damn you!” Servantis shouted. He snapped his head up. The carapace on his head opened up, revealing his brain, to Steve’s disgust. Red electricity snapped across the crevices of his brain. Steve caught his shield in time to block a blast of electricity that lifted him into the air before he could get his feet under him to tank the blast on the invulnerable shield.

“Dial, give everyone a rundown on what we’re fighting!”

Mahmoud Schahed/Dial

I sped into the air, trying to figure out what the fuck the Rooters were doing here.

I hadn’t watched a lot of Omniverse. But I had visited the Ben 10 wiki a lot before getting dropped into this world. Hell, I’d dropped into a lot of wiki’s in my time. So I knew who these guys were.

But hadn’t they been locked in the Null Void? Hell, in the show, Kevin 10,000 mentioned fighting them a bunch. So what were they doing here, in 2014 New York?

With a Way Bad. Don’t forget that. The terrifying and giant Kaiju of a monster currently striding into the Hudson.

I cartwheeled into the air and spoke while flying, trying to inform everyone even as I tried to figure out a damn way to take down a cosmic storm summoning mutant.

“The Rooters tried to kill a 16 year old superhero because they thought he was going to end the universe. He wasn’t. They’re the worst kind of military intelligence. Shoot a possible threat while it’s still an ally. Like every general who keeps urging us to find a way to kill the Hulk or Thor. Or me.”

I started blasting the Way Bad with green energy blasts as I flew, thinking carefully. She screamed as the blasts exploded against her. I dived between her legs, right above the water, and shot at her thighs and crotch as I passed. She screamed again, but it was like taking down a normal human with pop rocks.

Okay. Needed to hit a lot harder then.

I flew up out of the city, passing every mach I could, sonic booms following in my wake. Until I was going past the atmosphere, reaching space. I twisted in the air, for a moment flying with the Earth to my back and the great emptiness of outer space above me. Then I flew back. Everything I had went into my flight.

I arced down, aiming diagonally towards my target. I spoke as I went over the ocean, the Omnitrix passing my words through to the others despite the fact I’d passed the speed of sound a while ago, giving them the rundown on Swift, Leander, and Paul.

As I did that, I aimed for the Way Bad’s chest. She roared, though I couldn’t hear it. I tapped the Omnitrix and transformed in a flash of green light. At mach-20, I slammed into the Way Bad in Diamondhead form.

The Way Bad screamed, a wave of spit coming out of her mouth. God. Until you actually saw it, it was hard to comprehend what it meant to interact with a being of her size. As she fell back, I could feel wind get created by her movement. Her voice cracked the air with a sound like a car crash. Even in my Diamondhead form, so much taller and larger than my human form, I felt like a beetle falling away from the chest of a human woman. I raised my arms and fired crystals as I fell, the crystals exploding on impact as they smashed into her chest and face. I tried to aim for her armpits, elbows, groin, then knees, with a few shots headed for every place a super-assassin and a war god had pointed out as a weak point on a bipedal body.

The Way Bad acted with all the pain of a person getting hit by a bunch of small bouncy balls. That being, pained, but far off from knocked out or dead.

I landed in the water with a splash, thinking furiously as Way Bad reached into the water, waving her arms around. Even below the water, getting spun around like a toy in a bathtub, I could hear her grunting and moaning in exertion, the sound booming in the water. I tapped the omnitrix.

In a flash, I was Big Chill. Under the water, I went intangible, letting that feeling of being separate from the universe fill me just as Way Bad’s fingers passed through me, her hand becoming encased in ice. I spread my wings and arms. I forced that chill within me, the dark power that filled Big Chill to his core, out of my body in an explosion of cold.

“YAAAAA!”

The water of the Hudson River around me froze into an iceberg. It climbed up the legs of the Way Bad, surrounded her as she panicked and punched at it, but slowly became covered in chilled gross smelly ice. She reached out just before she was finally frozen entirely, her face a mask of fear and pain.

Then I flew up out of the water, creating a tower of ice that floated up to about neck level from her. I knew what was going to happen next. This was a creature of immense power. No way getting frozen would stop her.

“Have at thee!” Thor went flying past. Kolar was punching him in the face. Thor laughed, lightning sparking in his eyes.

“Die already!” Kolar roared.

“Not this day or any other!” Thor got his arm out of Kolar’s grip, then smashed him in the chin with Mjolnir, sending him skyrocketing into the sky in a trail of a few broken teeth. Then Thor noticed me. “Dial! How does this battle find you my friend!?”

True to my paranoia, the ice began to crack. I tapped the Omnitrix.

A giant monster erupted from the ice, then blasted me in the face with a laser.

I spread my stance on the chilled ice platform and raised two pluglike hands. The laser, as big around as a semi-truck flying at me, shrank and was absorbed into the openings on my fingertips.

In Feedback-form, I absorbed the full power of a cosmic storm. The energy was warm. In my time, few bursts of energy that I’d pulled into me matched the energy of the Way Bad in terms of output.

“She’s got a lot of juice,” I mumbled to Thor.

“Indeed. Would you like aid in this battle?” my Asgardian friend said, hefting Mjolnir in a single hand.

I raised my hands and fired. The beam of blue light I smashed the Way Bad with was the most powerful I’d ever done, enough to send her screaming onto her back in a wave of ice and water. I kept up the blast, trying to keep her down. “After you’re done with Kolar!” I said in answer to Thor.

“Very well!” Thor looked up. The spinning tetramand was coming back down towards us, screaming with abject rage. “Tell me, how do members of his species deal with lightning?”

“Enough will work,” I absorbed another blast from the Way Bad, then groaned when my return blast had as much effect as a firehose on a person. Hurts, but not unbearable.

“Then I will be back!” Thor rocketed upwards, slamming into Kolar with a loud ‘boom!’ The lightning that fell from the sky enveloped them. The clouds above began to swirl, and rain poured down upon us. Thor and Kolar fell towards the Battery, the park that sat at the southern tip of Manhattan island, the sounds of thunder and lightning echoing before I lost sight of them.

This wasn’t working… Okay then.

I shifted to my human form. For a moment, I stood there in my black and green armor on top of a pillar of ice. Then I looked at the Omnitrix on my wrist. Time for a hail mary.

“Come on, Omnitrix,” I mumbled, staring at it, before looking up at the Way Bad. “Give me something appropriate.”

I popped the dial up, spun it like the cylinder of a revolver, then smashed down on it. Honestly, if I had to deal with the Way Bad with any of my normal forms, I knew I could figure something out. But here and now? Hoping that the AI within was going to help me out felt oddly appropriate.

A flash of light appeared. The Way Bad looked at me. Then she blinked. The ice platform beneath me shattered as my weight crushed it. I rose upwards. Like all my transformations, it was instant. But the sheer size I was growing up to made it seem like a gradual increase, my shadow crossing the Way Bad. My head grew a tall and thin fin, as did the backs of my arms. My skin shifted shades to red across my fins, arms, and feet, with a single line stretching down my chest to surround the Omnitrix. The rest of my body was colored a shade of white almost dark enough to count as grey.

I stopped at my final height and stared down at the Way Bad. She stared back at me.

“You’re in big trouble,” I said with a slow, long, smile.

She snapped to her feet. Now, matching her in size, her moves seemed normal. Rather than the strange slowness her colossal weight gave her movements, I could appreciate how fast she really was. She grabbed at me, squealing. She sounded like a scared animal. I grabbed her right arm and twisted it behind her, the water at my feet ankle-deep now. Funny enough, I was about a foot taller than her. Uh… Well, make that a lot of feet. Whatever, I was taller than her.

She desperately fought against my grip, our struggle bringing us closer to the buildings. “Jarvis, is the city-?”

“I had the buildings near the harbor evacuated the moment you began fighting a giant. You are clear.”

“Then sorry in advance if Tony ends up having to pay for a hell of a lot of property damage,” I brought the Way Bad around and punched her in the chin, then throat, solar plexus, right breast, trying to throw her off guard as much as I could. She blindly grabbed me and twisted around, pushing me away. I stumbled when my ankles hit the rocks masquerading as the Hudson’s shore, falling back and smashing into one of the buildings behind me.

The Way Bad, sensing weakness, rushed me in a manner that reminded me of the time a meth addict had attacked me once. I rolled out of the way and smashed her head with my elbow as she spun away.

It was so strange, being this size. No other transformation had made me feel like this. I felt like I was in the middle of a Lego city, cars smaller than my feet, buildings reaching up to my waist. And inside I felt power. Power that swirled in me. Only in my Asgadian form had I felt such insane strength. Beyond that there was this… sense. Of something outside of the atmosphere. A storm.

I pushed aside that thought to focus on the Way Bad… who was running?

“Are you serious!?” I roared, rushing towards her, the ground cracking under my footsteps. “Get back here!”

“SKREEEEE!!!” she screamed like a scared animal.

Damnit, I should not be feeling sorry for a giant monster made to subjugate worlds.

I got to her and punched at her. She blocked it on her forearm, then lashed out. I slid to a stop, so that we were standing on either side of a street. For a second, things got relatively interesting.

She started punching and clawing at me. I blocked and parried. A fin on her arm slashed out at me. I caught it between my elbow and knee and punished her by grabbing the horns on either side of her face, pulling her in for a headbutt. She surprised me with a claw across the chest, her hardened nails clashing with my tough skin and leaving a painful sensation. I kicked her in the ribs, then cracked her in the jaws. She blasted at me, and I had to take the blast to keep the buildings behind me safe.

I was the better fighter, but I wasn’t trained in being a giant in a city I wanted to keep from squishing. She had no such issues, and could unleash her animalistic fighting-style with impunity.

At one point, she stepped back. Her foot smashed through a wall, crushing a restaurant that had been situated at the bottom of a building. Neither of us paid attention to it beyond the pain that was caused when she blasted me again.

“How dare you?”

I winced. Way Bad screeched. We looked at the source of the voice that had seemed to echo in our minds and souls.

I couldn’t recognize him. At Way Big’s height, all the people looked like dolls. He was wearing a purple set of robes. Which he was removing, glaring up at us.

The Way Bad, seeing I was distracted, punched me in the face. I staggered back, but forced myself to fall in front of the one guy who’d ignored evacuation, landing on my knee. I raised my hands in a cross, focusing the energy within me into the air in front of me, then out towards her.

A beam of green light sliced through the air, smashing her in the chest and sending her flying back into a building.

“Ultraman, bitch!” Yeah, I couldn’t help it. I’ve watched Kaiju movies all my life. Even for all my new experiences with superhero antics, fighting as a giant still made me excited. All I needed was Godzilla, but the closest form I had to that was too short to fight here.

Then the guy I’d been protecting began to grow behind me. I turned, stunned, to watch him rise up towards the sky. Now, much closer to him, I could recognize him. He was bald, but with a long wispy beard. Despite his appearance of advanced age, he had the muscles of a martial arts master. He was changing shape, however. His pale white skin darkened and thickened into green and savage scales. His small head elongated out and out, until it was shaped roughly like a lizard or horses, long spikes sprouting along his spine between two wings that rose from his back before they went down along the tail he grew. He came to match me in height, then even taller, finally stopping when my head was about chest level with him.

“...Always a bigger fish,” I mumbled slightly, staring up at him.

“A sound philosophy, from a below-average film,” the bipedal dragon told me, smirking. “I am-”

“Fin Fang Foom.” I hadn’t seen him since the party, where he’d been talking to Thor and Jane. I’d decided to leave him alone after a deep background check had revealed a simple chef making good food, rather than the conqueror of worlds he was in other incarnations. I wasn’t willing to attack him for no reason. I’d hoped to speak with him, but all the other problems kept coming up.

And now, here he was, forced into my life… Of course.

He chuckled, stepping forward to walk around me. “My excellent reputation precedes me! As does yours, young hero. But I’m afraid I must step in. You are clearly inexperienced with fighting in a form of such magnificent size,” his eyes narrowed. “And the young one there crushed one of my restaurants.”

“Well. My mom always taught me not to get between a dragon and their enemies,” I stepped aside to let him pass. God. He was huge. I felt like I was standing next to the Hulk. Which, considering my own size made him- my mind shut down at the numbers. How was New York City even standing while three of its citizens were currently making the square-cube law their bitch!?

“She sounds like a wise woman,” I watched hundreds of thousands of tons of muscled scales stalk towards the Way Bad. She rose to her feet, eyes blinking in confusion, then widening at the sight of Foom, his tail whipping in the air behind him as he walked towards her.

Panicking, the Way Bad brought her arms up and blasted out a red beam of power. Foom returned it with a beam of green light from his mouth. They clashed for a mere moment, then Foom’s blast overwhelmed hers, exploding against her face. She staggered, then ran forward, claws slashing outwards.

If my shift in size had made fighting a bit harder for me, then Foom showed what I had to aspire towards. He ducked the claw strike, hit the Way Bad in the chest with a palm that pushed her back, then brought his hands up, his body swaying slightly. For just a moment, I was reminded of Ip Man or Bruce Lee.

The comparison became more relevant when he began blocking her attacks with high speed. He used two hands at first. Then, when he seemed to realize her lack of real martial skill, he turned to the side, brought one of his hands behind the small of his back, and started blocking and parrying with one clawed hand.

I was beginning to feel really annoyed at my previous performance. Ares was going to make me run drills when he saw my fight, I knew it.

“Ah, child. Someone truly ruined you,” Foom said, shaking his head. He blocked a kick with his left leg, grabbed a wrist before a fist could land in his ribs, then chopped the Way Bad in the throat. “All rage and hatred. That is no state for you to be in. For any being to be in. A feral child, unable to even speak. Where are your kin?”

“She was cloned,” I said helpfully.

Foom looked over at me. For a moment, he looked shocked. Then his eyes lit with rage.

When the Way Bad, still coughing from his neck chop, came at him with a screech, he looked at her. Her arms were wide, teeth bared.

“SCREEEEEEE-”

There was a blur. A sound like meat getting smashed by a baseball bat. A few windows cracked. And Foom was lifting the Way Bad into his arms in a bridal carry.

“What the-” I mumbled. That had been so fast! Like watching Pietro or Fasttrack move a little slower than normal. Likely it was a lot slower than I thought, but he’d still moved really damn quick for such a big being.

“The irresponsibility of parents,” Foom looked down at her sadly, shaking his head. He looked down at Way Bad. She was so small compared to him. Compared to me as well, really. He sighed, hefting her. “It makes an old fool like me… well. Enough of the past I suppose.”

He looked at me. “I will be taking this one into custody. See if I can teach her how to become more than an animal.”

“Do you really think you can?” I asked, walking until I had a close look at the Way Bad. “Rehabilitating anyone is a tough prospect. Her… well, her DNA might be a mess. Her mind, the way Dr. Psychobos created her and her ‘siblings’, might make her unable to even function as a normal person. She was made from the DNA of this species,” I patted my chest. “To be a weapon.”

“Is that so,” Foom chuckled. “Well. A weapon is a noble thing, in the right circumstances. I will see if I can give her that.”

His wings rose into the sky, spreading their shadows across the city. With a massive beat that somehow left the city around us undisturbed, he lifted into the sky, leaving me behind.

“Well,” I looked up in the sky, watching a dragon take off with a kaiju woman in his arms. “Still not the weirdest thing I’ve seen.”

With that, I turned and ran to join the others, who I hoped also got magical help with their battles.

Sam Wilson/Falcon

Sam twisted in the air, cursing as a laser went spinning past him at immense speed. “Damn she’s fast!”

That was putting it lightly. Swift wasn’t quite as maneuverable as he was, but she had blazing speed, blasting past him before he could blink. He also had trouble keeping an eye on her, twisting and turning to dodge her, only to lose track.

Luckily, he had some extra advantages.

“Redbird, give me some eyes!”

On the back of his wings, a small drone unfolded out, shooting a pair of wings out before rocketing out. As it zoomed off to begin sending data to his headset, Sam reached for his leg while dropping from the sky.

In the battle against Hydra recently, he’d ended up losing a leg. He was still getting used to that idea. Even with all his experience helping vets with similar issues, even after talking with Frank’s friend Curtis, a fellow soldier and amputee… it was rough, getting used to it.

Thankfully, the new leg he’d gotten had some upgrades.

The leg raised up a pair of rockets, each one around three inches in diameter, both on his thigh.

A green laser brushed his side, forcing him to snap his wings out and pull aside as the flying alien hybrid shot past him.

They entered the airspace of New York City. The pair shot over the city streets, blasting past the office buildings, buzzing over the top of an eighteen wheeler. Sam struggled to keep ahead of her while also twisting out of the way of her laser by diving into an open building, finding himself on the upper levels of an above ground parking garage.

Surrounded by dozens of cars of various makes and models, Sam zoomed through the place, someone shouting in shock in the distance.

A parked car behind exploded as he passed, lasers firing past him. He raised a gun and fired a repulsor shot at an elevator door across from him, blowing out the doors to enter the shaft. He flew upwards through the tight space as Swift struggled to keep up with the tight maneuver, bouncing off the walls.

He stopped for a brief moment in front of one door, blasting it open and flying out to the next floor, his HUD screaming as another green laser flew past.

For a sickening moment, he was reading the data from Redbird, dodging a laser by flying through an above ground parking garage, and snapping around an approaching SUV. Behind him, Swift bounced off the same SUV, shouting in pain. Sam took that brief respite to spin out of the parking garage, flying up and around to land on the rooftop. He crouched briefly, breathing.

Sam had to time it just right. She was quick. But not so good on the turning. Stop and go were her main moves. If he could catch her just as she was accelerating, he could hit her with everything he had.

Any other time, he’d have been embarrassed at what he was going to do next. Tony had promised they’d change the new move to something less weird. But in the moment, the move worked, and it would let him finish this alien chick off.

Redbird floated nearby, tracking the movement of Swift as she flew out of the parking garage and upwards towards the rooftop. Sam grit his teeth.

The repulsors in his new prosthetic leg lit up and began to charge. His wingsuit’s jet flared up, slowly getting to its final launch. Soon he could barely keep himself down as his leg and wingsuit shuddered.

Swift flew upwards. Sam released all restraints. He lifted into the air just as Swift came into view. Her red eyes widened under that golden crown eyebrow of hers when she saw him there. She tried to stop, to twist aside.

Sam was already coming in. He called out the codeword Tony gave him to activate his finisher.

“Rider Kick!”

His HUD flashed up a diagram, targeting Swift and displaying bright red rings on the trail to attack her. His wings snapped back as his leg rockets and wingsuit jet exploded forth. The air screamed and split with his passage as a boisterous voice echoed in the air.

“FINAL WINGED RIIIIIDE!”

In a flash of red and blue, Falcon smashed into Swift with an impact like an asteroid into the Earth. She screamed as the boot in her stomach refused to let up, the pair flying through the air with streams of fire in their wake.

The impact into the street below echoed in the air, glass shattering and car alarms going off. Falcon bounced off of her, landing on the asphalt and skidding across it with a stream of sparks before he slid to a stop, while Swift rolled just behind him. The winged girl halted after one final roll. She weakly stared up at Sam as he stood straight, his wingpack and leg steaming. He didn’t look back at her as she passed out.

“Swift is down. You guys okay?”

“Working on it,” Creel returned.

Sam took that for what it was and turned around, pulling out a pair of handcuffs. “Then I guess I’ll have to come and help.”

Carl Creel/Alloy

The problem with the modern world was that things had gotten super-weird. Even after who knows how many fights, Creel still found himself surprised by shit.

The most recent one being the old guy that suddenly turned into a giant freaky spidey monster that punched him through the side of a metal warehouse.

In his steel form, Creel bounced off a truck and landed in a role, raising his hands up to take the claws of the beastly monster on. The razor-sharp nails bounced off. On feeling the strength of the blow, Creel switched to his vibranium form. The next attack didn’t even flinch Creel. He returned it with a right cross then staggered the spider-beast, then a simple jab opened him up for an uppercut.

The guy, Phil was his name? Flipped through the air and landed on the side of a building, his claws digging into the brickwork.

For a moment, Creel and Phil glared at each other.

“...Osmosian?” the massive spider-creature snarled through fangs and mandibles.

“What?” Creel asked, confused. As he did, he slowly adjusted his back. A large box he’d gotten from X after they started training together while back shifted. The second he got an opening, he would reach for it.

“The… material shifting. You Osmosian?”

“Buddy, I have no idea what the fuck-”

The spider raised a hand and a red beam of energy flew out. Creel reflexively blocked it on one arm while the other reached back, wincing at the feeling of electricity running across his Vibranium form. He could withstand it unlike in other metal forms, but it still fucking hurt.

His other arm grabbed the box on his back by a handle and snapped it forward. Panels exploded apart. The box opened to reveal a four-foot-long object as big around as one of Creel’s arms. He grabbed it by the handle and raised it up. Paul’s eyes widened at the sight of a shotgun-rifle-hybrid pointing right him, moving quick-

The barrel exploded with enough force to crack the concrete beneath Creel’s feet. His vibranium form ignored the recoil even as the cars around him begin to ring out alarms and windows shattered.

Paul screamed something aloud when a few of the pellets fired at him slammed into his flesh. The spider-creature fired another red energy blast, Creel ducking aside then shooting again.

Paul snapped out another beam of red energy, but this one solidified into a red web, snapping out to engulf Creel.

“Fuck!” Creel fell back against a car as the web of energy surrounded him, snapping his arms and legs together.

Taking hold at the other end of the net, Phil pulled hard and spun Creel around before letting go, sending him flying into a parked car, the vehicle exploding. Phil landed in the wreckage, reaching a hand out to grab Creel.

The barrel of a gun pressed to his chest. Phil had enough time for his eyes to widen before the shotgun exploded, sending him flying back with his suit, fur, and upper layers of skin and muscle ripped apart. As Phil screamed, Creel leaped out of the fire in vibranium form.

Then dropped towards him as osmium. A grocery bag of osmium weighed as much as a humvee. Creel was much larger than a grocery bag of osmium.

He landed like a meteor on Phil’s chest, face, and groin.

“...uk-” the large man weakly squeaked staring up at the unforgiving face of the man whose knee had yet to move from the sensitive bits. Then, mandibles flapping weakly, Phil passed out.

Creel waited a bit to make sure he was really unconscious. Then, sighing, he rose to his feet, looking at the massive grey and black shotgun in his hands. Creel shook his head.

“.950 calibur…” Creel looked over at a shell casing nearby. It was the size of a coke can. “Goddamn. X, when do you have time to make these things?”

Musing on that, Creel reached into his pocket for some cuffs as Phil shrank back into his human form. As he did, a voice came on the radio.

“Swift is down. You guys okay?” Sam asked.

“Working on it,” Creel returned.

“Then I guess I’ll have to come and help,” Sam returned.

“I’m good. Just arresting this guy. Izzy?”

…Nothing came in. Creel got worried.

“Izzy?”

Still nothing. Creel’s eyes narrowed. He hurried to cuff Phil, worry filling him.

Isabella ‘Izzy’ Hartley/Warrior

Izzy loved her job. Sometimes it didn’t feel real, like she wasn’t supposed to be living it. But she enjoyed every moment.

Her sister’s cancer was long gone, taken care of by whatever magic Dial and Tony had worked. She was a goddamn superhero, fighting monsters and mobsters every day. Often with a superhero boyfriend. And she got to use a sword every time she fought!

All around, not a bad deal at all.

That said, sometimes she knew when she was in over her head. A guy blasting out a big laser from a grill set into his face was one of those times. The sound of a Geiger counting slowly ticking away in her helmet wasn’t helping.

Leander, Dial had called the guy. A big guy in black armor, with an head that had similar features to that NRG alien Dial used sometimes. They’d ended up in a warehouse, and red lines of melted metal and stone surrounded them. Even in her hardened suit, she could feel the immense heat through her armor.

Izzy landed in a roll, barely dodging the radioactive beam of energy. She snapped to her feet as she stopped in front of him, swinging out her sword. The double-edged broadsword bounced off one of Leander’s raised arms before the eerily silent man punched outwards. Izzy blocked it, only to be sent flying back a few feet, tossing a knife at him to prevent the larger fighter from following up. As she landed, she took stock of the situation.

Strong as hell, durable, and with a very powerful energy beam of radiation. He was also trained. She didn’t know what military force he had once been under, but he used a mixture of martial arts common in the US armed forces. As well as some new stuff she didn’t recognize.

Izzy noted the red shine of his grills, dodging before the red laser could hit her. Her suit may have been rated to take a lot, but the smoking patch on her shoulder said a lot about how much power the guy had. Even while dodging, she felt the heat brush past her back, feeling blisters form as her HUD screamed.

Ignoring the pain, she tossed another knife, Leander letting this one bounce off his head in favor of rushing forward and reaching out for her. Izzy stopped to block his grabbing hand, kicking at his leg. The large man took the hit, punching her in the chest. Her armor locked up a bit to resist the force of that hit, letting Izzy stay in the fight and swing her sword out, jamming the edge into his throat, then punch him in the solar plexus.

Then she had to duck the beam of red light again. Damn. Those beams were a bitch. But that was why she’d made him follow her into this warehouse.

Like a few of the other abandoned buildings that seemed to frequent New York City, it had once been a manufacturing plant. Full of tools, tables, and old discarded materials. Including one she could use.

Izzy dropped and kicked the larger man in the ankles, grinning as he fell on his ass. Then she turned and ran.

Another beam brushed past her helmeted head, the heat scalding. She ignored it. In the back would be… there it was.

In a small shed, she found a large metal barrel. She ducked behind it, her Geiger counter’s ticking lessening as she hid there. She began chopping at the soft metal, gouging out as big a section as she could. It was slow work.

Leander came to a stop in the same room. He looked around, red grill sending up small hints of smoke. He didn’t speak. Instead he slowly prowled forward, his stride calm, stance low.

The problem with fighting him was that if Izzy really tried to stab or slice him, that would end in his containment suit leaking. If she even could do that. So she needed to go for something else.

She slowly finished slicing off the dinner plate-sized section of metal, carrying the soft, heavy material under one hand. Leander was circling the barrel. Izzy took a page out of Black Widow’s book.

Sensing he was close to her, Leander spun around the barrel and fired a shot of radiation.

Hitting the floor. He stared at the smoking concrete, surprised.

Then Izzy landed on his shoulders. He let out no sound, but raised up his arms in surprise, grabbing for her legs. Then the world went dark. He fired a beam of radiation, only to curse when metal heated up just in front of his grill, blocking his vision.

Blinded, he tried to fire again, but Izzy landed on the ground in front of him and punched him in the gut. Her armor, increasing her strength by a massive level, let her dish out a blow even the half-Prypiatosian-B felt despite his immense strength.

He instinctively lashed out, but missed, Izzy hitting him in the solar plexus with a kick. He landed against the barrel, then staggered forward, arms wide.

Izzy grabbed around the waist and suplexedsupplexed him into the ground. She grinned at the sight of lead wrapped around his head. Yep. Lead. Soft. Heavy. And very resistant to radiation. Heat notNot heat so much though. If that makeshift blindfold stayed too long, it would melt and disappear. Better finish things quick.

As the lead began to heat up, Izzy kicked Leander in the gut, groin, and torso. He staggered silently, trying to fight back. When he kicked out at her, she grabbed his leg and twisted. The sound of an ankle breaking filled the air. A very human scream came muffled from Leander. It didn’t help when Izzy kicked him in the groin again.

He pulled his leg away, silently crawling away, clawing at the metal on his face. It was beginning to drip now. If he could keep it up, if he could-

The sound of metal grinding filled the air. Izzy gave the metal barrel another push. And it tipped over, landing directly on the large alien hybrids' back.

On his stomach, thousands of pounds of lead on top of him, Leander never saw Izzy come to a stop in front of him. He did feel the punch. Then the next, then the next.

“Damn, what does it take to knock you out?”

Leander released another blast. Izzy barely dodged this one when it finally pierced through the lead blindfold. Then she grabbed him by the back of his head and slammed it into the ground, the radioactiveradiactive blast beginning to scorch the concrete. Then Izzy viciously punched him in the back of the head.

The last thing Leander heard before passing out was Izzy’s gleeful laugh…

Mahmoud Schahed/Dial

In Way Big form, making it back to the warehouses everyone had been fighting in was easy, just a few strides. As I got there, Thor landed on my shoulder, clutching an unconscious Kolar by the ponytail. The four-armed blue man groaned. Thor idly electrocuted him, knocking him out.

“What ho, Dial! How went your battle? Is the giantess vanquished?” the God of Thunder asked.

“Actually, I think she got adopted?” I said, befuddled. “I don’t know how adoptions of people on battlefields work.”

“I could ask my father,” Thor grunted.

We came to a stop just before Steve was suddenly blasted through a metal grating by a blast of red lightning. From my height, he looked like a living action figure as he backflipped through the air, landing on his feet. He looked beat up a bit, his helmet gone, a portion of suit burned off across the chest. But his shield was still on, and his eyes glimmered with a familiar shine.

Servantis stepped out of the warehouse. He had a sour look on his face, a broken nose, and his right arm hung oddly. Then he noticed me, standing high above.

“...Ah,” he said weakly. His eyes panned to Thor. “Well-”

Falcon flew down, carrying Swift in his arms. Creel smashed through a wall, Phil over one shoulder. Izzy moved into view, pulling Leander behind her.

We all looked at him.

“...Show’s over I suppose,” Servantis mumbled, sighing.

“And what a show it was!” a voice said from nowhere.

And Servantis smirked as he flashed away in blue. Swift, Kolar, LeanderLeandros, and Phil disappeared in the same flash, leaving us staring at nothing.

“Avengers, get ready!” Steve barked, shield raised.

“What sorcery is this!?” Thor shouted, dropping off my shoulder to land on the floor.

“Not just sorcery! TV Magic!”

A drone flew down out of the sky. Then another. Then another. Dozens of them, flying around us, staring at us with box-like cameras.

“Uh, what’s going on?” Sam asked.

“And are they getting my good side?” Izzy added, though she still pulled out her sword.

“Sweetheart, you got nothing but good sides!” all the drones said at once. Then one of them projected a hologram.

And suddenly I understood everything. “Mojo…”

My booming voice echoed. And the man of the hour laughed.

“That’s right!” his deep voice echoed, before shifting into a high-pitched laugh.

He was somewhat green in color, obese as I’d ever seen in my life, with long thin arms and fingers ending in sharp nails. His eyes were yellow at the pupils, and red around, eyelids pulled back A Clockwork Orange style to reveal them as he laughed through giant square teeth also getting pulled back by the same metal contraptions. He sat on a spider tank of sorts, his massively fat form flowing over its edgesoverflowing it.

Oh good lord he looked like an obese Jim Carrey.

“The man, the myth, the living legend!” Mojo laughed, shifting his voice as he spoke. “What a fight! The Avengers vs the Rooters, two brutal groups of superhumans, fighting to the near death! What a fight! Ratings are through the roof!”

“Dial,” Steve whispered to me, the Omnitrix broadcasting it to me.

“I don’t know, Steve. Mojo is dangerous, I can say that.”

“Aw shucks,” Mojo chuckled. “Look at me, blushing! I gotta say, even after that show your guys put out in Siberia, I didn’t expect you to keep up a good show! But you did it! I can’t wait for the sequel!”

“You’re going to do this again?” Sam snapped out angrily.

“What manner of fiend are you, to summon enemies to battle us for mere entertainment?” Thor growled.

“MERE entertainment?” Thethe hologram grew to tower over everyone except me, reaching knee-height with Way Big. “Oh bubbala. You have some lessons to learn, youlearn you big dummy! Entertainment is EVERYTHING! I guess your trilogy is going to be a teaching experience.”

He laughed. Steve tossed his shield through him, destroying the drone projecting his image, only for another one to take his place. “Awwwww, so cute! The heroic Captain America, the man with a plan who kills for a living!”

Steve’s eyes narrowed.

“Sam Wilson, the Falcon with a broken talon! Izzy, the psycho-knife nut! Creel, the wanna-be hero and current thug! Thor, the dumbest god alive! And the Universal Dial, the fanboy still clutching for greatness!”

He laughed as we glared at him. “Ohhhhh, yes! That’s the look! The fire! Perfect for the poster! Ohhhh, the ratings are going up, baby! We’re headed to the moonto moon!”

“Silence!” Thor shouted, lightning crashing from the sky. “We are not here to play games, cur! We will find you, and stop you from doing this ever again!”

“Gosh,” Mojo mockingly clenched his fists under his chin. “I hope not! That would be ever so awful for my ratings!”

That was enough for me. I slammed a hand down onto one batch of drones. “You’ll get your ratings. The sequel will be titled ‘Mojo’s Asswhooping.’ Coming to theaters next fall.”

“Needs more panache on the name,” Mojo laughed as the other Avengers began popping the drones out of the air. “But deal! See you maniacs next season!”

The last drone shattered, the laughing fat man disappearing. Steve scowled, looking around as I shifted back into a human and landed with the others.

“...Can we track him?” he asked me.

“Maybe. But he’s from another universe,” I scowled. “And apparently the Rooters are available to him… This might be trouble, Steve.”

“Then we’ll deal with it,” Sam said, growling. “Come on. Let’s go home and debrief.”

Mojo got away with fucking with us. But that wouldn’t be the end of things. Not if we had anything to say about it.

Sam suddenly looked around, confused. "Wait, Dial. What happened to that big one? The Way Bad, you called it?"

"...A dragon took her. I think he's going to adopt her and teach her kung fu."

Everyone but Thor looked confused. I shook my head. "And no, I'm not joking."

I lead an interesting life.