The year 1001 PH. 01/01/01. Today was a day like any other for me. I awoke at 8:30 am and marched off to high school like any other teenager. Tired and late.

Hey! I can’t be blamed for that! Do you not realise how addictive gaming is! With the recent release of Uplink technology, where a person’s conciseness is actually sucked into the program, and you experience it like real life in another world, almost no one wants to sleep anymore.

I won’t deny, this technology is still somewhat lacking. Sensations are dull, and things like taste and smell still can’t be fully processed. However, who would want to lose out the chance to fly! Or better yet, to slay a monster with your bare hands? Superhuman strength? God Like Power?

No one would pass up this opportunity!

Not only that, but there are tonnes of other important applications. Therapy, giving blind people a chance to see or disabled people the chance to use all their limbs. It can also connect everyone easily. The glorious Data Stream allows everyone to connect together easily.

Before Uplink tech, everyone had to interact with the Data Stream through digital media devices. Now we can interact with it by just Linking Up and surfing the data stream with our mind! How convenient is that!

“[email protected]#$”

Err ... what’s that sound?

“Murphy!”

“Huh?” I said very cleverly.

Hmm, it appears I drifted off in my own little world again. That’s becoming a very disturbing habit. My inner monologue is like a book written by an Alzheimer’s patient. Seems to just continue on endlessly and deviate constantly. I wonder if this is from Linking Up too often. Perhaps I should...

“Murphy!”

“What? Oh! Seelie, I didn’t see you there. Wait ... why are you running late?”

Walking beside me as I dazed off into space mindlessly is my childhood friend Seelie. We have lived nearby each other for as long as I can remember. Which isn’t as far back as I should be able to remember. If 6 years can be considered a long time. Everything before that, although I have some vague memories of that time now and then, I make an effort to forget.

After I had moved to Capital City 6 years ago, I shed my past like a snake skin and started a new life. It has been a while since I even thought about the time I spent back at ... Forget it! What was I thinking about a moment ago?

Ahh Seelie, oh Seelie. What should I even say about this girl? She’s rather strange in a sense. She’s quite short. I’ve never measured her, but if I were going to guess her height it would be ... shorter than I am. I’m not a measuring laser! Actually, I wonder how tall I am now.

I just went through a big growth spurt, so I’m probably just short of 6 foot now. Not as tall as Uncle Calligso but I’m catching up! That hairy old bastard better watch out, or I’ll be looking down on him soon and then...

“Oi! Stop fucking daydreaming!”

Once again, rudely awakened from my reverie.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about stuff. So, why are you running late?”

“Ughh...” Hmm, it’s that sound she makes when I’ve made her repeat herself. I was probably distracted. I should pay attention this time.

“ ... and it took me nearly an hour to finish it! Then I remembered I had to finish my history assignment...”

Hmm doesn’t sound important. What was I thinking about before? Oh yeah ... Wait. History Assignment? Shit!

“Hey Seelie what did you do your assignment on?”

Uh-oh. She’s giving that look like she’s trying to peel my skin off with her eyes. Just smile warmly like you’re making polite conversation and not planning to pilfer her assignment. Hmm, that doesn’t seem right. Her eyes are squinting even tighter. Pretty sure she knows.

“You didn’t do the assignment?”

Yeap ... she knows.

“Errmm. I guess not?”

Smooth. Super smooth. Didn’t even need to come up with a lie I’ll have to remember later. After all, Seelie already knows Barf, my stupid, ungrateful dog, refuses to eat any paper. No matter how hard I try to train him. The dog ate my homework would never work.

“I did my assignment on the speculations of the Great Sage and the New Beginning. Today’s the first of the first of the first. You know that means it’s the day the Great Sage said the world would change.”

The who and who? Great Sage? Is this a terrible movie plot? I don’t remember anything like this.

“The who?” So articulate. My tongue is in fine form today.

“Sighh. Sometimes I wonder about you, Murphy. Do you not watch any news streams? Or check Social? Everyone’s talking about it. Today’s the first day of the new millennium. It marks 1000 PH - post-holocaust. 1000 years since the holocaust of the old world order and 997 years since the Great Sage cleared the planet of radiation and rescued the Originators.”

“Originators? You mean the people that survived after humanity made a valiant effort of fast tracking extinction? You don’t actually believe those old fairy tales do you?”

Oh boy, there’s that look. Shouldn’t have said that. Prepare yourself for a long lecture.

“There’s factual evidence you big dork! They have eyewitness accounts, and endless numbers of scientists have proved that the technologies back in that day were far too lacking for anything like clearing the entire planet of radiation. Not to mention how all the wildlife and forests seemed to suddenly pop up out of nowhere!

“They don’t even follow the same genetic structure of biological life forms from before the holocaust! Not even radiation of that magnitude could magically cause such diverse life forms to just suddenly grow in a period of 10 years!”

Oh boy, she’s still just rearing up. This one’s going to be long. Let’s just do what I usually do.

“Yes, yes.”

Ha! Classic. Now just nod your head with a pondering expression a few times, annnd ... there we go! She’s back into lecture mode and not paying attention to me at all now. Hmm ... what was I thinking about before...

This continued on for some time. It wasn’t unusual for the sensation of time between leaving my house and reaching the school to stretch out from the usual ten minute walk into an eternity when I was walking with Seelie.

I often felt like I learnt more in that ten minutes than I did in my entire school career. However, that is neither here nor there.

I should introduce myself. My name is Murphy 21.08.31.0. I’m sure you’re wondering so I’ll tell you. Everyone’s last name end’s in a number. It’s part of the laws of the world since the Colonies united over 800 years ago.

It met with quite a bit of resistance back then, but eventually, they passed it. In the new world, everyone’s last name is a designation of their Colony number and family number. My colony is number 21 of 78, and my family unit is number 08.31. That means that my family unit is descended from the eighth line of ancestry that founded this colony, and I am of the thirty-first generation.

The zero at the end, however, is the greatest blotch on my existence. It tells the world that I am an adopted child. The other children in my family are all denoted with a number signifying their birth order.

Juwan, for example, is the eldest son. He’s 20, three years older than my 17-year-old self. His full name would be Juwan 28.08.31.1. Family lineage is a scarily important thing to people in this world. From what I remember of a long lecture given to me by Seelie, this naming system came about due to rampant incest.

When the world was still being recolonised, and humans were starting to get their shit together again, women became a heavily sought after commodity. Everyone needed manpower, and so children were a sought after resource.

Because pretty much all law and order had been wiped out by huge nuclear warheads, many people lost to their baser desires. Then the mutations started appearing. At first, it was standard stuff, like growths and deformities. But suddenly a child was born from an incestuous couple that defied all reason.

It had strange powers and as it grew it became more and more powerful. It was a great and tragic thing. Because with great power, came complete madness. The child reached 18 and then began enslaving colonies like some vicious warlord.

It got worse after that. Numerous children like this appeared. Strangely, only from incest. They all grew up with powers, and then went mad. The first child, referred to in history only as The First Abomination, grew wary of these other children and went on a rampage to snuff them out.

He ruled for nearly 150 years before he finally died from some unknown intervention. All witness accounts simply referred to it as a heavenly tribulation in which lightning rained on him like water until his corpse was nothing but ash.

A similar scene played out every few hundred years like some strange curse. It wasn’t unusual for one of these children to pop up out of nowhere, cause a huge war and kill millions, then suddenly die from the Tribulation.

However, once again I digress. So after that, everyone agreed there was some strange unexplainable phenomenon involved and tried to put a stop to it. A tattoo was invented that was carried in a parent’s genes.

When two adults copulate, the child will carry on the father’s last name, with the order of birth and generation changing.

The reason why being adopted is such a headache is that it means before I was part of this family, I never had a genetic tattoo. It means my true parents and the nature of my birth was in question. As such, being a Zero meant that people viewed me as an outsider. A freak. A potential Abomination.

Which is why I was always very closed off from everyone and preferred to live in my own little headspace.

It was also the reason I was so enamoured with Uplink technology. In the DataStream, I can be anyone I want to be. No one will ever know my true identity and question my origins.

Apart from Uncle Calligso, who is my adoptive father, and Seelie, who is just ... unusual, everyone else looks on me with trepidation and suspicion. Even after I turn 18, which is universally considered the Day of Madness for most Abominations, people will still treat me as a ticking bomb.

Anyway, I’ve completely derailed from my original intention of introducing myself. My name is Murphy 28.08.31.0. I’m a 6-foot male. My interests revolve around gaming and technology. I’m adopted. I’m a Multi. My skins quite tan, many of my features resemble Pure Bred Caucasians but have distinguishing features from a few different backgrounds, such as pure black hair that’s like straw from some Asian heritage, clear blue eyes, thick bushy eyebrows and a slightly crooked nose.

My jawline would be considered strong, and my build is neither stocky nor lanky. I’m rather thin and wiry, but overall, if I put on some nice clothes and smiled occasionally I would probably be considered handsome.

If you’re curious, which I know you are, Multi’s are people that have a lot of traits from multiple genetic ancestors. It’s like having put the DNA of 20 different nationalities in a blender and then pulling out a finished product.

Pure Bred, on the other hand, are the families which try to keep their line of descendants pure. Although there are few to nil ‘pure’ family trees, they like to try. People of that nature tend to have a very over inflated ego and like to lord it over us dirty commoner multi’s.

Although they used phrases like ‘mixed blood’ or ‘lucky mix’ to insult multi’s, they are generally seen as families that inbreed and so are looked down on as much as people like me, who are adopted. The only reason they get away with it is because they have enough ‘pure’ relatives with more than 3 separations on their family trees.

Technically it’s not considered incest if you’re rooting your cousin three times removed.

Anyway, I digress. This story isn’t completely focused on the state of the world. Instead, it’s focused on my path in the greatest and most incredible game the world has ever known. Domain Warz.

This isn’t like any game you’ve ever heard of. It’s very different. This game bends the rules of the universe and changes everything we know and understand.

On the first of the first of the first, 01/01/01, while I sat in class daydreaming about getting back home and Linking Up, a bizarre phenomenon occurred around the world.

The 78 Colonies all discovered a box. In every colony was a single, black, mundane looking box. It was about 6 feet high and was smooth as glass on every side. It was about half a meter in width and length with rounded edges, and it looked completely foreign.

It just fell out of the sky in the middle of the day. No one knew where it came from. No one had even detected it, it just appeared at midday as if it had always been there. The strange part though, was when someone approached it.

You’d suddenly feel a weird sensation and then it would spit out another little black box about the size of an eraser. No one else could touch this little black box except the person who felt the odd sensation.

In a matter of hours, these boxes were cordoned off by the Protectors, which is pretty much just new world police. Then all sorts of government officials started probing them and inspecting them. However, it was too late to stop those few thousand first boxes from disappearing along with their owners.

The world went into a panic and uproar. Great Sage fanatics believed these boxes to be a gift sent by the great sage. Scientists had no idea what it was and claimed that for the moment it was indestructible. Conspiracy Theorists believed this was the premise of an alien colonisation of Earth.

Many things all started happening at once.

By the time I left school that afternoon, it was already under great public scrutiny, and everyone knew about the black box. Out of curiosity, Seelie and I went to investigate. The black box had appeared in the colony centre, which was a huge market district in the middle of the colony city. It was also about the same time I arrived that the box started doing something different.

Apparently, the boxes were greatly displeased with the Protectors limiting people from visiting them. So the Protectors just disappeared. One minute, they were there, the next minute, they were gone. Naturally, in a situation like that, panic became the norm, and normal conscious thoughts left everyone as they trampled each other to run.

About half an hour later, when everyone realised nothing was happening and were all hiding as far away from the box as possible and watching it from within the DataStream, the Protectors suddenly reappeared. They then left. Without a word, they just walked off with strange looks on their faces.

Then all the big head honcho’s of the 78 Colonies came to the box and suddenly disappeared. They then reappeared and also left. It was the most mind-boggling thing anyone had ever seen.

Another half hour after that, the black boxes were declared safe, and people were free to approach them. At first, no one had the courage. All sorts of strange conspiracies were flying around about the box.

At the moment, no one who had interacted with the box could explain what the situation with the little gift boxes was. None of the Protectors or leaders of the colonies could explain what had happened to them. So everyone was suspicious.

At a moment like this, with curiosity building like the waters of a dam, everyone was waiting expectantly for the first test dummy to step out and get disappeared.

Being either incredibly brave or a huge idiot, I was the first person to go to the box in my colony. Don’t ask me why. I already explained. It was me just being a huge idio ... being incredibly brave. Also, it was a result of my total lack of self-control when it comes to my curiosity.

I’m glad I’m not a cat, otherwise my complete lack of restraint would most likely have gotten me killed long before now. Reflecting back on this action, I’m now very pleased with my ... bravery.

As I stepped in front of the box, I felt a very invasive feeling. Like a thousand perverts were watching me naked. Just as quickly as it came, a little black eraser sized box was released from the ... I think I’m going to have to call it something. Dispensary? Nah. How about ... the ... you know what, strange black box will just have to stick.

On the other hand, I quickly named my personal little black eraser. Little strange black box ... let’s put some effort in this time. Little Black. Nope, sounds like I’m naming a cat. How about ... Artefact. BOOM! Yeah, that’ll work perfectly.

So, I received my Artefact and turned to see Seelie standing next to me with a very firm but nervous expression. It appears I wasn’t the only one that raced here to be first.

Very soon, Seelie had her own Artefact, and we both rapidly fled the scene like a pair of bandits.

We then spent a very fruitless afternoon inspecting our Artefacts. In the end, discovering nothing. At about 9 pm, Seelie had to return home, before too many strange rumours started. Hmm, before too many more strange rumours started. That would probably be more accurate.

However, even after Seelie left, I continued to stare expectantly at my Artefact. Waiting for something to happen.

In the end, nothing happened, and I fell asleep disappointed. Come morning, I woke up early and then continued staring. If I could stare this blasted artefact to death, I would have melted it into a hot mess by now.

My staring was so intense my eyes grew red and began to water. At last, I could no longer maintain the endless staring match and decided to risk going for breakfast.

My adopted family’s home was rather lavish. It was a 4 story house. Me and my two younger sisters stayed on the 2nd floor. My elder brother and sister stayed in the 3rd floor and Uncle Calligso, and his wife and mistress, stayed on the 4th floor.

The first floor had everything else. Lounge room, kitchen, dining room, laundry, and patio. The whole nine yards. Which metaphorically means we lacked for nothing. I very quietly descended to the kitchen like a thief in the night ... even though it was morning, and I made a conscious effort to reduce my presence out of fear that my adopted siblings would notice me...

Unfortunately, as excellent as I have become at being almost unnoticeable, my eldest brother had the countering trait, which was something like an ‘adopted radar’. The moment I, the adopted one, stepped foot onto communal soil, the first floor, he appeared like a ghost from the shadows.

“Little brother.” With a smile as sickening as paedophiles, Juwan beamed his pearly whites at Murphy. His voice sounded jovial in his greeting, and if said by anyone else with that tone of voice, it would most definitely sound friendly.

To Murphy, however, it sounded like a thousand cats trapped in a little room filled with cat pheromones. Incredibly disturbing.

The moment Murphy heard that pleasant voice, his body tensed like a spring in preparation to make flight. Cold sweat dripped down his back, and his palms became clammy. Just as he stepped forward to make his escape, a strong hand slapped down on his shoulder and restricted his movement.

Murphy put on a forced smile as he turned to greet this huge asshole.

“Juwan. It’s good to see you. Don’t mind me, I’m just going to grab some breakfast.” After hurriedly forcing that out, Murphy immediately turned back to leave. That large hand, however, remained in place and firmly restricted Murphy.

“Don’t be in such a rush little brother. Come, it’s been a while since we practised together. Join me in the yard for a quick spar. It’ll make your breakfast worth it.”

Unfortunately, in this situation, Murphy had tried many things to escape. Every time he came up with an excuse, he would later get cornered on the way home from school by numerous of Juwan’s ‘good friends’ and beaten within an inch of his life.

The spar in question was a match in martial arts. Calligso was a martial arts genius and had travelled the 78 colonies and mastered every art known to man. He then passed these teachings on to his children.

Of all of his children, the one with the best aptitude was not his eldest, or any of his blood-related children. It was Murphy. Unfortunately, it was because of Murphy’s talent that Calligso had adopted him. Murphy knew this fact sat on Juwan’s heart like a heavy blade.

The more attention Calligso showed this scum Zero, the more Juwan wished to bully him. Making this situation worse, Murphy couldn’t resist. Calligso encouraged his children to spar regularly to train them, and Juwan would never allow Murphy to resist his beating.

Although Murphy could resist, the last time he did that he was hit by a car and hospitalised. A day later, his elder brother returned home from a ‘business trip’ with a large ding in his hover car. Of course, Murphy was certain it was Juwan, but it couldn’t be proved.

As this situation arose once again, Murphy was forced to capitulate. He still had a twinge in his leg from the ‘accident’ and had no plans to attempt surviving another car accident. As such, although Juwan fought like a bitch, Murphy let him wail on him. If nothing else, it helped him train his pain tolerance and body endurance.

Half an hour later, Murphy returned to his room with a bowl of cereal and face with a split lip and eyebrow. He occasionally wiped some blood away with a tissue and ate his cereal as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

Meanwhile, he was secretly holding in the anguish he felt at living under the same roof as that sickening bastard Juwan. Well, that, and also he was pretty sure one of his ribs was broken.

As he sat back on the bed, his eyes were automatically drawn back to the Artefact, sitting in a very lonely fashion atop a desk near the wall. Without thinking, Murphy strolled forward to once again pick it up, and death stare it for a while.

As he reached the desk, his vision grew blurry, and he reflexively wiped the blood from his split eyebrow with his thumb. He then reached out to pick up the Artefact. Just before he did, he stopped. Moving to wipe the blood on his thumb off, a very strange scene followed.

The blood on his thumb stayed there. Like it was just stuck in the air and couldn’t move. Murphy looked at his thumb in shock, only to glance back and see that little bit of blood get sucked into the Artefact.

Moments later, everything went white, and he heard the words;

“Welcome to Domain Warz!”

What the hell! Where am I? Hmmm, all white space in that direction. And white space over there too. Everything is just empty whiteness. Oh god! I’m not blind am I?! Oh, nope never mind. I can see my hands. Hmm, that’s odd.

Hoh shit! My hands are fading away! Their like half invisible hands! Is this what life is like after death? I wonder what that voice before was. Domain Warz? That sounds like a game to me. Maybe some powerful being from the stars abducted me?

Oh no! It was the artefact! Seelie! Damnit! How do I get out of here!

‘beep.’

“Hello and welcome to Domain Warz. The latest and greatest in inter-dimensional entertainment. Your Soul has been registered to your Dimension Key. Please do not lose this key, it is the only way for you to enter the game. I am the Game Master, Jasmine.

“Would you like to register an account and build a new character?”

Uhhhh ... What? Wait! WHAT?! It’s a game, right? It’s definitely a game, right? These strange little boxes are all just part of a cosmic entertainment system? What the hell! Wait, how do I get out, does that lady’s voice know how to get out. Ahh great. I’m trapped in purgatory with a random woman’s voice.

Sighh. She sure does sound beautiful though. I’ll bet she’s really pretty. Wait! No time for daydreaming. I suppose I have no choice but to ask her.

“Um ... hello?” God, I’m smooth. If they gave out prizes for articulate youths, I would be first place.

“Hello, would you like to register an account and build a new character?”

“No. I want to go out.”

“Very well then. However, if you leave before setting up an account, your Dimension Key will be logged as inactive and returned to the Key Receptacle where you acquired it. If you’d like to register another key, your soul will first need to undergo 100 years of indentured servitude to ‘Dark Brotherhood Games & Co’.

“Are you sure you wish to quit now?”

Not when you put it like that I don’t. Sigh, all these latest games are filled with traps to suck customers in. Whatever happened to the good old days when you only had to pay once and could play free forever. Crappy pay to play games.

“Then, I guess I’ll make an account?”

“Excellent choice. Would you like to customise your race and appearance?”

“Um ... no?”

“Very well, would you like to set a new name for your Avatar?”

A new name? I guess I’ll just go with the game name I usually pick.

“Murphy Law.”

“Registering your Account.”

‘Beep.’

“Collating Data based on body and mind.”

‘Beep.’

Oh? What’s that? Some kind of status screen? Hmm, it seems to follow my vision around. Let’s see.

“Oi, oi, oi! What’s going on with my stats?! Why are they all so messed up? Lady voice ... Uhh ... Jasmine! What’s wrong with my stats?!”

“Your stats appear normal Murphy Law. If you’d like, you can review the ‘Game Guide’ once you are in the game so as to understand them properly. Now, please enjoy your time in Domain Warz.”

GAGH!! My Eyes! I can’t see! Ahh, what the hell is going on with this place! Oh, wait ... what the hell? Why do my eyes suddenly feel so good?! Wait, is that the Hurts So Good Special Trait? What the hell?!

The fact that my eyes felt good while my retina was being burnt out was rather disturbing. To say that a day would come when being hurt would feel so good ... sigh ... why me?

Anyway, it only lasted for a minute before I found myself standing in the middle of a rundown prehistoric village. The houses were made of stone and thatch, the road was all dirt. In every direction, all I could see was the middle ages. My clothes had at some point changed into some dirty old peasant clothes made of deteriorating cotton. Also, my shoes were gone.

The only thing I had with me was a little cotton backpack.

I stood at a crossroad in the village, which was eerily quiet. The fires were still lit near various houses, and smoke was wafting from chimneys every now and then. Suddenly, another bright light flashed. My body collapsed like a tower of sand being hit by the waves of the sea.

I started seizing and flopping around like a dead fish and frothing at the mouth. It felt like a whole bunch of random information had just been forced into my head. I want to say that I had the worst headache of my life, except the ache was so pleasant!

Unnatural. This sensation of feeling good when I should be feeling pain. Even my body that was violently seizing felt rather nice. Like I was enjoying a warm bath.

When I was finished flopping about, I stood up warily and wiped the froth from my chin. I then had a strange inspiration. I willed it, and I soon found myself floating in that white space again. For as far as I could see, there was nothing but whiteness.

Then inspiration hit me again, and I waved my hand. With that, a bunch of strange holographic screens started popping up around me.

The initial stats shown when I completed my character creation was there, as well as stats and readings from all sorts of other things. A visible recreation of my body was floating around me as well, covered in all sorts of numbers and readings. I’m assuming that those figures were showing the distribution of my strength and endurance around my body.

The most eye-catching one was a figure with a little line pointing to my crotch. It was flashing in bright red letters letting me know that I was a ‘VIRGIN!’. To have this being so blatantly pointed out by the game system made me feel somewhat embarrassed.

Only for that embarrassment to feel slightly good. It disgusted me to no end. At the same time this negative feeling suddenly became a pleasant feeling, I noticed the screen displaying my special traits light up.

I also saw a subcategory of endurance light up called ‘mental fortitude’. It slowly increased in experience from 800 and kept climbing.

So that was how it worked then. Even negative feelings could increase my endurance stats. This was both a joyful occasion and a disturbing occasion. I felt very mixed emotions regarding this weird trait I’d been given in the game.

Having these mixed emotions only made the speed my mental fortitude grew at increase. I couldn’t help but sigh at my bad luck. What the hell kind of game was this anyway?!

With that in mind, I explored all my stat screens for a while more. Observing a real-time display of all my faculties really was a depressing thing. Especially when I observed the strength stat of my right hand.

When I focused my attention onto that stat, it suddenly sprung open and displayed a list of things that the right hand did for increasing the strength stat. When I read that the highest stat booster, at 64%, was masturbation, my mental fortitude seemed to jump almost 200 points in a single go.

At the same time as all this self-observation was happening, and the ‘Please Sir’ trait was raising my mental fortitude, my Masochism stat was slowly growing as well. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do to stop the stupid thing.

After a while longer of this, I eventually decided to stop my self-torture and return. I opened my eyes and found myself still standing in the same spot. Only now, I saw a little peasant girl running towards me with big watery eyes!

“Please young adventurer! Help me! Our village was attacked by bandits! Please help our villagers to fend off the bandits!”

So far, this is a very ordinary plot for the start of a game. It was all very realistic though. Nothing like the Uplink technology I’m used to. Everything felt real. Like I was actually standing here. Even the ... nice feeling from the headache felt real. No Uplink tech I’d ever heard of was that good.

After considering my options for a while, I decided that since I’m already here, I might as well play for a little bit. I’ll just skip school today.

That thought in mind, I decide to get into character a bit and be a good hero for the little damsel.

“Don’t worry young lady, show me the way! I’ll help you rescue your village!”

‘Ping!’You have accepted the beginner’s quest, Help the Villagers!

The little girl with big tear filled eyes looked up at me and nodded her head. She then grabbed my hand and started running towards the end of the village. After a while, I found myself following the girl into a forest. It was only a little while until we came upon the entrance to a dark cave.

I very valiantly told the little girl to stay outside and be careful. Then like the heroes in the tales, I marched on into the cave.

The moment I stepped into the cave I saw a few wooden cages filled with people and about 5 bandit looking guys all sitting around a fire eating something.

After slightly closer inspection, I realised they were eating the people. The bandits were eating the god damn people!

My mind shook at the sight! What the hell kind of game was this! What kind of game actually has people literally eating other people? Only after this thought did I come to realise that these bandits weren’t ‘people’ people. Rather, they were some kind of ‘beast’ people.

Their pupils were long slits reticent of a cat’s eye, and their teeth were all jagged and vicious. More disturbing was the strange pitch black nails that upon closer consideration were like claws.

This, however, was a game. Therefore, I should technically be unafraid of such a situation. Instead, I was terrified! I could smell the irony acrid stench of blood and hear the crunching sound of the sharp fang-like teeth crushing bone.

Before the chance for my terror to completely paralyse me came, I instead felt it become a somewhat calming balm on my soul. My mental fortitude was skyrocketing just from witnessing this scene.

What should have been fear became determination. Very out of character for my usually reserved self, I clenched my fists and walked into the cave like I wasn’t even slightly affected by the scene.

The 5 bandits all looked at me in synchronise. I then heard a strange ‘chit chit chit’ sound and as if by spoken agreement they all stood and started rushing towards the mouth of the cave ... or rather towards me.

I felt my It Hurts So Good reaching its limits as my terror intensified. I finally felt just the tiniest bit of fear cloud my calm determination. I continued to walk forward slowly. The moment they had gotten closer, the leading bandit creature leapt towards me like some animal.

It was almost laughable watching it trying to just jump straight towards me while I was watching it. The first rule of fight club is to ... wait that’s not right, I meant the first rule to fighting is to never overextend. This is the most basic mistake that all rookies make. They charge up for a big attack and for anyone with some experience become like an open book.

When they finally strike, they’ve put all their power into their attack, leaving them wide open for an attack.

As if to verify that concept, I simply sidestepped the beast bandit that had launched itself then smashed out with my left hand. My fist struck the beast bandit in the temple, and it lost consciousness. The next attacker finally arrived and swung its big claw fingers at me in a slashing fashion.

A simple step back then forwards and I had evaded the childlike strike. An uppercut came from my right arm and flipped the bandit into the air. In a very unfortunate fashion, it seemed to land at an odd angle on its head, and a crisp ‘crack’ sound echoed through the cave.

While the other three bandits were stunned for a brief second, I slid forward and spun my body. My heel came down on the neck of the next bandit, and his body toppled like a sack of shit. Following this rotating motion, my axing foot landed, and my right foot flicked up connecting with the jaw of another bandit.

In this brief moment, I cleared 4 bandits. I don’t mean to brag, but my martial arts are rather good. At last, the only remaining bandit seemed to realise its situation as it started backing away. The peasants in the cages had realised what was going on by now and were shouting and rattling their cages like animals.

At first, I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, until an incredibly sharp pleasurable feeling suddenly came from my neck. It was then followed by a burning pain when the pain overwhelmed my ‘It Hurts So Good’ trait.

“ARGH!!”

That’s me screaming. My hand came up to my neck as my eyes filled with shock. I felt soft hair attached to a very standard shaped head. I now realised I’d just been bitten. What the hell! When did one get behind me!

I grabbed the hair and pulled. The pain in my neck intensified and my hand reefed the head away. I turned to see that sweet teary eyed little girl staring at me like and angry savage. Her eyes had turned from big watery doe eyes into sinister slitted cat’s eyes. Her mouth was filled with razor sharp fangs and dripping blood.

Her hand whipped out with absurd speed, and her arm was just long enough for her claws to reach me. I felt the mixed sensations of burning pain and pleasure streaking across my face over my left eye. My fear and anger exploded, and without restraint, I whipped the little beast girl about with her hair and smashed her into the rocky cave wall. Then I pulled back and whipped her tiny little body around to smash it into the cave wall again.

After I vented my frustration for a while and calmed down, Hurts So Good finally was able to cover up most of the negative emotions and pain. My reddened, maddened eyes slowly turned and locked onto the last beast bandit. It had a rather odd expression. I imagine I must have looked somewhat frightening with three long scratch marks crossing my face and blood slowly dribbling out of the bite mark on my shoulder.

Without conscious consideration, I sprinted forth and struck it in the face with a kick. As it fell I then quickly followed up with more strikes. I won’t lie, maybe Hurts So Good still wasn’t strong enough to contain all my feelings at the moment.

So I vented some more. After some searching a found a few weapons and other equipment. As was standard in a game, there’s always some loot in caves and dungeons. Every time I touched something and willed it, it would get sucked into my ‘inventory’. This knowledge was another gift from the seizure-inducing light when I first appeared in the village.

I closed my eyes and started looking through my inventory. Old sack. Burnt Stick. Broken dagger. Worn Belt. Shoes with holes in them.

It was pretty much all garbage. After some more thought, I pulled the broken dagger out. With a brief flash of light, it materialised in my hand. I then relentlessly ‘finished’ all the Beast Bandits. Making sure they were done with.

Strangely, each time I killed one, a white mist would flow out of their body and then into mine. After closer inspection, I realised these were experience points. These 6 Beast Bandit creatures all gave me about 5 points. The girl bandit gave me 15. She was clearly the greatest threat.

I then looted the corpses of their equipment. Leather Belts, Leather Pants, Leather Jerkin. I used the cloth of the girls dress and bandaged my bleeding neck. Although I was feeling somewhat giddy from the blood loss, Hurts So Good seemed to be negating that slightly as well.

After this, I approached the cages. Everyone was dressed in rather shabby hides. They were the epitome of feudalist style villagers. A very gentle looking old man, with the help of a young girl, stood up slowly and approached the edge of the cage.

“Young friend. Many thanks for your timely rescue. They’d already eaten nearly 3 of my people. Please help us back to the village.”

Yup, very basic introduction questline. This must be a tutorial sort of system. However, everything’s so real in this game I really thought I was going to die! If it wasn’t for this sick special trait, I might have actually wet myself already.

Taking this into account, I used the dagger and cut the bindings of the cage and freed the villagers. A short walk back and everyone was home again. It seemed like the NPC’s were waiting for something as they all stood at the edge of the village.

I turned back, and the old man, who I assumed was the village chief smiled at me very amiably.

“Young friend. My people are very grateful for your timely rescue. If it weren’t for you, we would have been eaten by those vile beasts!”

He then turned and looked at his villagers. As he looked at them, his aura seemed to change from a frail old man. His slightly hunched back straightened and his amiable old face became stern and cold. His bearing became rough and forceful instead of old and peaceful.

“Alright you bunch of louts! Now that this fellow has slaughtered the rest of the villagers we can finish ransacking this shit hole. Pillage everything of use and burn the rest to the ground.”

Wait, what?! You mean ... but I thought ... hold on, isn’t it...

I watched on numbly as the bandits then marched into the village and began dragging out supplies and equipment from everywhere. Anything useful was pulled out, and huts were filled with flames and burnt to cinders once they were emptied.

I seemed to be stuck in a trance for a little while until the Old Man, or rather ... the bandit leader, returned. Apparently, the villagers had stripped the bandits of their gear and left it in the village somewhere because everyone was suddenly dressed in bandit equipment and had swords and bows.

The Bandit Leader stepped up to me and placed a weathered old palm on my shoulder as he smiled brightly.

“You did good kid! I’m glad there’s such a talented young bandit in the Bandit Guild that came to help us out. Since that’s the case, let me give you something as payment for the rescue.”

The Bandit Leader then pulled out an old scroll from a sack on his belt and handed it to my now stupefied self. By habit, my hand reached out and took the offered scroll. The bandit leader then chuckled again and started barking some more orders to his subordinates.

To say that shock was the only thing Murphy felt as he watched the bandits clearing the village off the face of the map would be an understatement. He felt a great many things, all of which were quickly swallowed up by his Hurts So Good trait.

This trait, Murphy now realised, was a blessing and a curse. Even his feelings were being manipulated by it. He couldn’t quite bring himself to the point of feeling miserable about this turn of events because the harder he tried, the more jovial he felt.

As such, despite knowing he actually felt incredibly dejected and dissatisfied with how this all turned out, his face was smiling brightly and he seemed very pleased with the old Bandit Leader’s praise.

Deciding to just give up on feeling anything for the moment, and reminding himself that this was all just a very realistic game, Murphy moved his focus onto the scroll in his hands.

After opening the scroll, he saw the picture of some kind of vine covered in thorns and sharp spikes. In his vision, a game like overlay appeared and showed a name floating over the scroll along with a description.

Scroll of Thorny Punishment (Absolute)

If a person uses this scroll, they can cast a single use of the spell Thorny Punishment. Whoever they point at after unleashing this spell will be enveloped in vines covered with thorns and spikes. The more someone resists, the tighter they will restrict.

Absolute status means this spell works on every power level. Anything struck with this spell are limited by its effects.

Along with this was a few other little notes. The most disturbing side note was left by the Game Master, Jasmine. ‘Because this is a quest reward it will be tailored to suit the job class and traits of the quester.’

Murphy couldn’t stop his feelings from becoming dejected. His entire game career was going to be destroyed by this stupid masochism skill. He then was happy about it ... because that is the curse of Hurts So Good.

As he rolled up the scroll and prepared to send it to his inventory, a system notification sounded in his ear. Then a whole bunch of them sounded.

‘Ping! You have failed the quest, Rescue the Villagers. -1 Renown.’

‘Ping! You have completed the hidden quest, Free the Bandits! -2 Renown.’

‘Ping! You have completed the hidden quest, Slaughter the Villagers! -5 Renown.’

‘Ping! You have been awarded the Title, Unstable, for slaughtering the villagers of the beginner village without warning or cause. -3 Renown.’

‘Ping! You have been awarded -10 renown for completing 3 negative quests or titles within 15 minutes.’

“Oh shit! How is that possible! This is hardly fair! Those beast things attacked me! How was I supposed to know they were the villagers! This is bullshit! What kind of crap is this!”

As Murphy started warming up to rage, his grip on the old scroll in his hand grew tighter. Finally, the ancient old brittle piece of paper couldn’t handle the strain and ripped. The moment it started splitting slightly, it suddenly flashed brightly and became a light as it surged into Murphy’s finger.

Murphy was somewhat stunned. He looked at his finger and then as if to inspect it closer pointed it towards his face to look at the strange light on its tip. The moment it was pointed at a living target the light burst out and shot onto Murphy.

In a matter of seconds, Murphy was entangled from head to toe in vines covered with barbs and thorns. Just the slightest movement on his part and the vines got tighter. The thorns started digging into his skin. Murphy couldn’t stop himself from letting out a little moan of delight.

He was immediately disgusted with himself. How could he possibly make such a scene of himself? All the bandits watched on with strange expressions as Murphy’s control slipped again, and he started writhing and moaning inside the constricting vines.

It wasn’t long before he was panting like a pervert and the thorns had dug completely through the skin and blood was dripping from the vines. However, Murphy continued to moan and writhe about. His breathing sped up and grew coarser until his mind couldn’t handle the overload and a wet patch suddenly appeared on his already dirty leather pants.

Still, he couldn’t stop the writhing, and the vines kept trying to squeeze the life out of him. However, it was at this point when things rapidly spiralled out of control. The vines started getting pushed out from his skin. The tighter the vine tried to become the more his skin seemed to heal and slowly force the vines thorns out.

It got to the point that the vines simply weren’t strong enough to force themselves through his skin anymore. At this time, Murphy had been locked in the vines for nearly an hour. He slowly started to stand up as the vines just tried to tighten even more.

All the bandits watched on with horrified expressions as Murphy climbed up and appeared to be a man wearing vines as clothes.

Apart from his eyes peeking out from inside the vines, no other part of his body was visible. The vines had wrapped around him like a second skin.

The Old Bandit Leader finally remembered himself and approached Murphy.

“Err ... Young friend. You are aware that the vine magic isn’t supposed to be used on yourself right?”

“Mmph. Mpmmhphmph. Mmphphmemp.”

Replied Murphy as eloquently as he could with his mouth sealed by the vines. The Bandit Leaders look at Murphy only grew stranger. Murphy could see the man’s disgust at Murphy’s earlier action in the bandit leader’s eyes.

He could almost read the man’s thoughts. ‘Fucking creeper. What a creepy weirdo.’

Murphy started trying to pull the vines off. Only for them to seem to get even stronger and tighter. Finally, the Bandit Leader took some pity on the weird pervert and gave him some advice.

“Little friend. Is this the first time you’ve used magic? You should know that certain magics, like this vine, have a trigger that deactivates them. This vine, for example, would trigger if you died, or if you just didn’t move for an extended period of time. Apart from that, because the scroll was an (Absolute) Version, there’s no other way.

“If this were just a normal scroll of Thorny Punishment, it would still be destructible, and you could cut it. But it’s an Absolute, so it’s impossible unless you sit still and let it unwind over time ... or die ... or I suppose if you had some kind of escape skill like Shadow Walking or something similar.”

Murphy simply nodded his head then turned around and started walking off into the forest.

The bandits all watched him walk off with very mixed expressions.

Every step he took, Murphy shuddered slightly from the pleasure. His mind was spinning like a top as he considered his options. After a while, he considered this both a blessing and curse. Thanks to his Please Sire and Hurts So Good traits, this vine had basically become an invincible armour for him.

From what he understood from the Bandit Leader, nothing could damage the vines and the only way they’ll disappear is if he’s inactive for a while or somehow dies. Thanks to that, he felt that this was great. However, the constant feeling like every pore of his skin was the tip of his knob, and someone was busily licking it was very uncomfortable.

Even worse, was the constant sensation from his dick that was actually in full contact with a few thorns. He was pretty sure he was still in the middle of an orgasm right at this moment, and his body had just run out of stuff to fire from his exhausted cannon.

Anyway, in the end, it seemed this was the perfect opportunity to go and find some strong creatures to fight. It would allow him to level up fast because the vines were basically indestructible.

Unfortunately, the first creature he met in the forest was a troll carrying a club made out of a tree. With a single swing, Murphy felt immeasurable pleasure and pain simultaneously as his entire body was crushed into a paste.

The vines stayed true to their name of Absolute and didn’t even seem to get a scratch. Unfortunately, Murphy overlooked the lack of ability to prevent blunt force trauma.

Now that his skin was rather durable, the tree club of the troll simply disintegrated his insides and launched his sack of skin filled with mush off into the forest.

The next thing he knew, he was back in his room panting and sweating like he’d just run a marathon. He could have sworn that he’d actually died at that moment. He was certain that he most definitely had been killed.

At the moment he was sure he had died, he felt a huge suction force and then next thing he was on his hands and knees in his room at home sweating like a Pedo at a kids’ Wiggles concert. It was a very disconcerting feeling.

As he slowly got himself under control, he leant back on his bed and glanced at the clock. What had been nearly an hour of game time turned out to be only 15 minutes in real time. It was only 8:30, and he had to go to school.

In a rush, he got ready and went to head out. Before he left he glanced over at the black artefact silently sitting on the desk. The moment he reached out to touch it, his head buzzed and he found himself in his white space.

He glanced around and saw a flashing system alert where his body display had been. With a tentative hand, he reached out and touched it.

‘Ping! You have been killed. Because you are still on Newb Planet, you won’t suffer any penalties and will respawn in ‘Beginner Village.’’

Murphy cupped his chin in thought. As he thought about that moment of death and the fear started to rise inside him, his Hurts So Good kicked in and he suddenly felt like he could take on the world and that death was nothing.

For a rare change, he was actually happy that his Hurts So Good was so god-like in its perversive mind altering. Although even when it altered his feelings, he knew what he was ‘actually’ feeling, that didn’t change the fact that he ‘felt’ the opposite.

With this in mind, Murphy decided he was going to go back in and try again. This game was too interesting and far more intriguing than school. That thought in mind, he logged out and sent a message to Seelie. He then gripped his Key and willed himself back into the game.