《Lazy Ash》1.Prologue Good,Bad,and Something small

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*beep*beep*beep*beep*

Smash!!!

"Ash wake up!! Im not gonna tell you again!"

"Im up! Im up! Geez that woman has a pair of lungs on her. Wait...Didn't i hear a smashing sound?" I say.

"Yep dumbass you broke another clock." Inari says.

"Well good morning to you too your demoness... Oh shit moms gonna kill me!"I start getting dressed.

"So long as you tell the truth and explain to her what happened she will understand." Alita responds sagely.

"To hell with that!" I snort.

"Thats my boy!" Inari laughs.

"He is not yours he posses your soul not the other way around and Stop trying to influence him!" Alita yells.

"Please like you can be so high and mighty." Inari rolls her eyes.

blah blah blah

Ok maybe i should explain a bit. Hi my name is Ash Falls your typical average 17 year old American teenager, lazy nerd who reads alot of books and plays video games. Friends? Ha! Your joking right? Didnt I just tell you I was a nerd!? I live with my mom and dad Kathrine (41) and Tim Falls (40) with my little brothers Jack and Tim JR.(8 & 11) We live in a City called Mega city in good ol Indiana. Our house isnt big but its not small either its your simple 3 bedroom 2 bath house with the up stairs being one whole bedroom (mine).

In this world there are beings known as supers there pretty much what you expect super strength, speed, flight, teleportation, yada, yada, yada, you get the gist right?Anyway not everyone has powers its like 1 in every hundred thousand or so im not to sure, slept through that class. Turns out I fit that bill. My powers at first seemed unimpressive a meager increase in strength, stamina, and durability in short I could take a punch and dish one out. After some experimenting I learned a few more things, I was far more agile easily able to scale walls and climb things, I could move with utmost silence picking and choosing every step as to make no noise and when your a lazy nerd with a bit of a belly trust me that comes in handy when sneaking snacks from the kitchen.Then I found out my true ability and its minor teleportation or as i like to call it steal. I mean I see it I steal it. By looking at an object i visualize it and poof its in my hand. After practicing with my abilities I got good fast. With my abilities came other changes I lost weight fast my hair lost its greasiness, my eyesight became lazer focused, all my acne vanished and after a few months I was jacked!

Now you would think after this I'd have a new outlook on life better myself,make changes, and save the world!

Nope.

I did the same thing as always minus the training. Im lazy not stupid. All that with great power stuff can go fuck off im not risking my ass everyday for some bullshit. Id much rather sit on my ass, kicking ass at COD with a 6pack of Dew, and a family size bag of ritos. Well that bit me in the ass cause one day at school this happened........

Im looking at my test and all i can think is YAY another 100 like this class is supposed to be hard or something.Well for me its not others.... well apparently advanced Mathematics is difficult.

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Allen the guy who sits behind exclaims: "WTH!!! All you do is read in class why do you always get perfect scores!!"

"Its simple listen and read." I give him the moron look.

"How!?"

"Split your mind." Still giving him the look.

"You can do that?"

"You cant?" My Face has changed to your a dumbass look.

"NO! Do you know how rare that is!?"Allen yells.

"No."(yes)

"Its rarer than getting powers...Dude you gotta tutor me."He pleads.

"No."

"Come on dude if I get another D im gonna be put on the bench for the rest of the season and we got playoffs coming up! Please man im begging you!" He gets on his knees.

"Let me rephrase it Hell no."

"Ill pay you 50 bucks a session." He whips out the cash and my inner greed takes it despite having money.

"Deal!"(woot DLC money)

Teach this idiot and I get paid. I should be able to get him up to a C at least then its lazy weekends!

"Cool be by my house at 8." He gives me a triumphant smile.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After teaching the dumb jock I head home with my money and a smile. Easy work.

As I passed by the church a mile from home I hear a woman scream. At this point I tried to do the reasonable thing and say its not my problem. Then I heard another scream this one like last female but instead of pain it was anger. So what goes through my head?

CAT FIGHT!

I take off and head around the back of the church and peer inside. Inside is hard to see at first but then someone lights a torch and I see everything. Theres 2 women strapped down on tables with their clothes ripped 3 thugs with automatic weapons and the local priest holding a dagger with his pants around his legs.

"What the fuck!?"

I was so surprised I said it out loud. The thugs looked around wondering where the sound came from then the priest spots me.

"Behind the window! Get him!" The priest yells.

That was my cue to run...but I didnt make it instead I who has super powers got smacked in the back of the head lights out.

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Ugh...Why do I feel like I just pulled an all nighter in zombies and was stuck playing with a squeaker...

"Hes awake. Hows the head kid?"

Hearing the voice I open my eyes and start to remember. Now that im inside I can see things more clearly the assholes bound my hands and tied me to the wall. Glancing over I see the two women in much better detail than before. Still bound and clothes shredded but man if there was a scale for beauty these two would break it. The first had fiery red hair so bright and beautiful the sun couldn't compare.Her skin the color of snow was like diamonds absolutely flawless. She had long slender legs,curves that would make any woman jealous,lush full lips,and eyes that raged with white fire. Her pale breasts were like things of perfection not overly large nor were they small just like everything else they were perfect.

The next girl while a bit more petite was no less beautiful she seemed from Asian decent and had long dark silky hair,pale skin,small pale perky breasts that would fit into ones hand perfectly,legs any model would kill for, pale pouty lips, and golden eyes. While the other seemed innocent and beatiful this one seemed deadly like all men were beneath her sh-

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"Take a picture kid it'll last longer."The asian woman says.

Well that knocked me back awake.

"I would but sadly I cant reach my phone. If the gentlemen would be so kind as to untie me though Id have a full portfolio in a matter of minutes." I give a dejected sigh.

Her jaw dropped open at my reply.

"Enough!! Who are you boy and what are you doing here." The priest asks

"Well kinda thought I heard a cat fight and wanted to come check it out. Always good for a laugh ya know?"I say with a grin.

Everyone in the room was speechless. Nobody expected this kind of reply. I mean a cat fight really? It was at this moment the priest recognized me.

"Wait! I know you your Ash Falls you live not to far from here your family still comes to church but you stopped 2 years ago."He exclaims.

"Took you long enough." The moron look evident on my face.

"You've changed quite a bit if it wasn't for your mouth I probably wouldn't have guessed. We have nothing to worry about just a smart ass kid with to much free time.Lets continue." His hands go toward his pants.

"Um please tell me your not gonna take your pants off again because trust me when I say this I didn't know they could be that small and ugly looking before..and whats up with the girls dont you guys generally go after choir boys?" I say with mock horror.

"Hahahahaha oh man this kid is great please tell me hes gonna be around more because at least serving you jackasses will have some humor." The asian girl laughs.

"Quiet demon whore!" The priest screams.

She actually shut up? Wtf! I may not have any experience with women but generally girls like her dont just shut up.

Seeing my shocked expression the priest laughed and explained.

"These women are my slaves bound to me by magic they have to do what I say a demon and an angel both with great power that will soon be mine once I finish the ritual I will be able to use their abilities as my own and then I will truly be a god!"

"Angels and demons? OK dude i think you've been hitting the church wine a bit more than you should've. So why dont you take and put your very small penis back, untie me, and let them go?"I try to coax him.

"You arrogant little bastard!! Im done with him, kill him, and dispose of the body."The priest snaps.

The thugs started moving right away.

Whatever happened to love thy neighbor?

I smiled. Remember the training I talked about? Well I nicknamed my power set steal for a reason if I was gonna get powers that made stealing easier id learn everything their was about it including how to escape when caught.

I kicked the first thug in the chest and sent him flying, heard a few bones break, then I use my ability to steal the knife the priest had and cut my bindings. Then I saw a movement! He had his weapon drawn on me and was about to pull the trigger. It was the bastard who hit me in the head.

Bastard: "Game over kid." *Click*

I smiled a cheshire smile raised my hand and opened it.

*clink*clink*clink*clink*dozens of bullets fell from my hand in a shower. The bastard looked at his gun, jaw dropped, and yelled.

"SUPER!"

Then I used another trick I stole the air from their lungs and continued to do so until they all passed out. I made sure to give Bastard a quick kick in the nuts for hitting me in the head. Not quite as satisfying without the squeal but it was better than nothing. I turned to the women and cut their bindings.

"Alright lets go."I said and motioned toward them.

Neither moved or spoke.

"Um...Was this consensual?" I ask hoping this isn't some kinky sex party.

Both gave me a glare that made my balls wanna jump ship and run as far as possible. It was then I noticed something. Both of them had this stream going from them to the priest. I reached out to touch it but it moved away from me. Weird. Lets try this. So I did what any reasonable person would do I stole it.

My eyesight exploded with stars i started to blacked out...

"Not..Again......." I croak out.

I awoke to a comfortable feeling on my head, I opened my eyes, and the redheads face was above. Embarrassed I hurriedly stood and thanked her.

"So your awake kid. Bout time! Do you realize what you've done!?"The asian yells.

"Save you?"I say stupidly.

"Save? No more like enslave you moron."

My views of this girl were dropping fast.

"Explain." I say rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"We were bound to that man over there our souls were his to use as he saw fit. His purpose was to gain our powers by defiling us then killing us. When you took the tether upon your self in a way ive never seen before we were bound to your soul, only this time you gained some of our powers. In short you now have a Seraphim of the lord and a Yokai bitch tied to your soul.The redhead explained."The redhead lectures.

At first I was surprised she talked, as she hadn't before. Then everything she said hit me.

"Whoa whoa whoa.. I dont want slaves... Wait did you say Angel and Demon?"Confused I ask.

Then they Transformed. The redhead gained wings so pure white it hurt to look at them the Asian grew 9 tails and 2 fox like ears. My Draw dropped.

"My name is Alita. Its seraphim but most mortals indeed call us angels"

"My name is Inari. And to clarify the term is yokai."

Thats how i ended up with these two in my life and how much they started to make it suck.

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