《Inspector of God》Chapter 19- An Unpleasant Innkeeper

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“Excuse me, you were with that bigger group earlier, right? I saw you had a rather peculiar looking demi-human. I was wondering if you’d be willing to sell; I have a couple of contacts in a nearby city. A big shot noble over there loves to collect mixed-races like her. This transaction could fetch a pretty penny, so how about it?” proposed the innkeeper.

Seriously? Do I look like someone who would accept that deal? … Well I know that I might accept it, depending on the price he offers, but still I shouldn’t look like it. I gave the innkeeper a glance, he was a disgusting fellow: he looked to be in his early forties, with a slightly balding head, he also had an unhealthy complexion, accompanied by a pudgy body, with sweat practically dripping off of him. He was rubbing his sweaty little hands together, with a crooked business smile plastered across his face. I decided not to respond and just gave him an ambiguous eyebrow raise, retaining my own polite smile.

He took that as some sort of indication that I was interested, and continued in his attempt to entice me.

“I can guarantee you a solid 15, no, 20 gold! Just give her over to me, and I’ll send her through my contacts and before you know it you’ll have your money.”

He continued to babble on, his eyes narrowing when he saw I’d begun to ignore him. Come on, I can see a scam a mile away! Who does this idiot think he is? If he didn’t shut up soon, I think I might start to get a bit unhappy with the fellow. Although I’ve got to say, why on earth is this sleaze bag in some insignificant village? You’d usually find fellows like him in the back alleys of larger settlements. Probably avoiding debtors or something like that.

When I noticed that despite my complete disinterest that he’d continued to ramble on about all the benefits, and how he’d take care of everything, I started to get a bit impatient. I’d had enough of the fool, and decided to make it clear that I wasn’t interested. I raised my hand, gesturing for his silence before speaking my part.

“I apologise, but I’ll have to decline. Now, if you don’t mind, I intend to turn in for the night.” I said.

Alright that should do it! Hopefully the fellow leaves the issue alone. I was feeling a bit cranky that I hadn’t made my way to bed yet. I mean, sure, I don’t need to sleep that often because of Serenity, but I certainly prefer sleeping as opposed to not sleeping.

“You know, giving up this opportunity wouldn’t be smart of you.” said the innkeeper.

Was he threatening me? His eyes had narrowed and two large thugs came out of the back door. Wait… was this really happening? I tried to hold back a laugh at such a ridiculous display, but failed spectacularly, letting out a light chuckle that eventually developed into a full blown laugh. I mean, I know I don’t look especially threatening with my friendly demeanour, but seriously? My equipment should at least give this guy a hint. Where did he even get those thugs? Sure they’re big, but judging by their clothing they’re just slightly larger than average villagers.

He looked confused when he heard my laughter, anger flashing across his face as he then gestured for the thugs to teach me a lesson. They both walked towards me, trying their best to look intimidating, I couldn’t help but smirk. Once they got close enough, before they could even prepare to start getting violent, my rapier had found its way through both of their throats. I couldn’t help but shiver in delight as I felt the blade pierce their skin, and I could feel a vicious smile begin to dominate my expression as I watched the blood flow. It’s been a while since I used this thing.

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The two villagers-turned-thugs looked down at my blade, now covered in blood, and began to gurgle in alarm. Once they noticed the gushing fountain of blood spurting from their throats, they desperately attempted to stem the bleeding. Unfortunately for them, their pathetic attempts didn’t succeed and before long they’d both found their way to the floor, lying still in growing puddles of blood.

The innkeeper looked smug however; I had used an illusion to show him what he wanted. In the little scene I had played out for his viewing, I had been intimidated by his thugs and given in, making my way over to him in order to continue discussing the deal. As if I would ever do that. I must say, this guy has been a bit amusing so far, despite the initial annoyance he caused. I should probably let him live as a reward. It would also be strange for the innkeeper just to suddenly go missing after all.

Once I got close enough to him, he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the sound of skin and flesh tearing, followed by a loud thunk. His face paled as he looked down at his hand, now pinned to the wooden counter. I played along, following his gaze, and upon seeing it, feigned surprise.

“Oh dear, it looks like you’ve ended up in quite the accident there! You know, it may not be my speciality, but I do know some healing magic, would you like some help?” I asked in a mocking tone.

At this point, I released the illusion, and the remnants of blood drained from his face as he saw the bodies behind me. Hehehe. What a fun reaction. This is the part that always gives me such a pleasant feeling; when they realise the situation they’re in.

“Do you like the decorating I did, personally I think my aesthetic sense in room design isn’t half bad.”

I grinned malisciously at him. I licked my dry lips before continuing; the night air wasn’t exactly moist outside.

“You know, that threatening thing you were doing earlier wasn’t very polite, but I can’t exactly kill you for such mistakes, after all I’m sure you didn’t even realise my profession.” I continued, not bothering to actually explain what my profession was.

“So how about this.” I continued.

I ripped the dagger free from the counter and his hand, sending a splatter of blood across the desk, and inciting a gasp of pain from the innkeeper.

“You took away some of my time today, so it’s only fair that I take something away from you, right?”

I reached down and took the coins on his person. Oh not a bad sum; pretty good for the innkeeper in a village like this. Probably gained from underhanded deals though. Oh well, the origin doesn’t matter.

“And, I also want you to keep this matter silent, you understand?” I said.

He started to vigorously nod his head, still struggling with pain in his hand. Should I let him off with just that?… No, I mean you can never be sure if people will keep their promises, so I’ll make sure he doesn’t talk about it. Before he could react, I reached over, forcing his mouth open and prepared my knife.

He stared in panic at the knife and began to put up a feeble struggle under my grip. I decided to not get immediately to the main act, and slowly traced my knife over some vital spots of his body, just to give him a bit of a scare. I was looking forward to his reaction, but when he defecated himself out of fear… That’s just disgusting.

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With my fun ruined, I brought my knife to his mouth and carefully sawed his tongue off, making sure to get a nice clean cut. It was quite difficult with all the wriggling the fellow was doing. I’m sure that if he could, he would’ve screamed. Personally I would have preferred him screaming too, but my comrades were just upstairs, so I had to keep things quiet. I had my spare hand wrapped around his throat just tight enough to shut him up. This was the perfect opportunity to whistle a tune… but unfortunately I had to keep it down; I’m not rude enough to interrupt others sleep.

*plop*

There goes the tongue. Both the innkeeper and I admired my work lying there on the counter. I couldn’t help but feel somewhat prideful at the execution of everything; it was my best tongue removal ever. While I looked at it with admiration, the innkeepers gaze was stunned. It was as if he couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing. That’s right, this piece of art was so stunning it left one at a loss for words. Hehehe, at least I’m pretty sure the innkeeper won’t be saying anything any time soon.

Eventually the situation hit him when he noticed all the blood pouring down from his mouth. Oh… he passed out.

Looking at this room, it really did get messy… how am I supposed to hide what happened? I really need to plan ahead more. Well… at least it wasn’t a total loss if you take a look at the borderline art I produced. Wouldn’t you say Serenity?

… That was a bit violent. Also, shouldn’t you heal the innkeeper before he bleeds out?

I decided to follow Serenity’s advice, healing the fellow and then threatened him with further violence if he didn’t clean up this mess as soon as possible when he subsequently woke up. After which I made my way to the staircase. Serenity seemed to have held some disapproval in her tone, I wonder why. I mean, I’ve essentially saved so many future travellers from this innkeeper’s dastardly schemes.

As I turned the corner I bumped into a familiar figure. Melissa stood there, staring at me with eyes wide. She looked exceptionally anxious. She had almost certainly watched the scene just before. Damn I really need to think about the time and place for such things. Well it was nice knowing you Melissa, unfortunately, I have an appearance to keep, and so you have to go.

“U-um… thank you.” She said.

Wait… Now I’m confused. Did she see what happened or not? She looked at me with her upturned eyes and continued to speak.

“I-I saw what just happened, b-but I won’t tell anyone I promise. You… you were doing it for my sake, so… um… thank you…” she said.

Her sake? Thinking back, the proposition was about selling her. Well if she wants to see it that way then fine that just makes the situation better for me. She started to shift uncomfortably under my scrutinising gaze. What’s with that expression? She looks embarrassed, and started to blush deeply… does she even realise there were a few corpses and bucket loads of blood in the room behind me?

Her eyes hadn’t lost their sparkle when they were turned in my direction… Wow, that loyalty thing really worked, it’s as though she can’t see me ever being in the wrong. I’ll just give that theory a little test.

“Melissa, I’m not as nice as I first appear. I’ve burned people alive and interrogated an innumerable number of people using torture.” I said, carefully observing her response.

“U-umm, you’re still nice to me… and it’s part of your job, right? So you have to do it.” She said.

She showed a sincere expression. Unless she was exceptionally skilled in deception, she’s being completely honest in her lack of disgust or ill-will towards me. Fantastic, she looks unwilling to believe I’m in the wrong, regardless of what I say.

“I appreciate your understanding. To be honest, I was worried about how you’d see me after seeing something like that.” I said, attempting to convey a sense of gratefulness.

“I-I’ll always be on your side…” said Melissa in small voice, seemingly pleased that I was ‘grateful’ towards her.

“Could I leave cleaning up the mess to you? I’m rather tired after all that… It’s fine if you don’t want to though.” I asked. May as well see if I can avoid cleaning up duty.

She paled momentarily at the prospect of cleaning up after my work, but soon regained that determined expression she was starting to get more of, as of late. She looked me in the eyes and answered.

“It’s part of my job as an attendant to clean up after you when appropriate, so I’ll do my duty.” She said.

What an admirable display. Normally one would be totally freaked out by this situation, I mean I did just ask her to clean up some corpses, right? I guess she doesn’t really mind seeing the death of humans, kind of like how most humans wouldn’t care about seeing a demi-human die… or like how I wouldn’t care seeing anything die. Actually that’s not true, if they die in a spectacular way then of course I’ll hold feelings of appreciation to the scene.

I gave Melissa a bright smile, and placed one of her hands in mine, grasping it tightly.

“Thank you” I said.

She blushed, turning away from my gaze, before nodding back at me and hurrying away to clean up the corpses and blood. Hehehe, looks like I’ve got a little helper now. She didn’t turn out useless after all; cleaning up was always the biggest pain in these situations. She looked a bit hesitant, but I’m sure she’ll adapt to this new job just fine.

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