When Remus didn't come to class about four and a half weeks later, I knew that it was time.

To my luck, Sirius had given me the Marauders' Map two days prior, so everything was going according to plan.

I managed to get through the boring day of of school and Quidditch practice and basically inhaled my dinner, so that I could get up to my dormitory as fast as possible, ignoring my friends' weird looks thrown at me.

I took the map out of my suitcase beneath my bed and didn't care to sit down, so I just stood there, probably sweaty and panting. Scared that it was too late, I hastily mumbled "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" (and mentally cursed these boys for picking such a long and tongue twisting password) and skimmed the parchment.

Where could he be?

My heart rate finally calmed down when I found the name tag of 'Remus Lupin' in the Hospital wing, with Madame Pomfrey close to him.

So, wherever he went each full moon, he hadn't gone there yet.

With my eyes not leaving his name tag, I kicked off my shoes, took off my cloak and sat down on my bed, cross-legged. Using only one hand, I reached for my drawer and took out some cookies to make myself comfortable and then.... Well, I just kept staring at a dot on the map.

Man, I was so weird.

But it was necessary!

After I'd munched on about five cookies in a way too short time span, Remus and Madame Pomfrey finally moved.

I forgot to chew, too scared to miss anything.

The suspense was almost killing me when I witnessed Remus getting accompanied out of the castle by Madame Pomfrey.

And to my great surprise, I witnessed them going to the Whomping Willow, and into a passage way beneath it!!!

How had they gotten so close to the tree!? And since when had there been a secret passage way!?!?

I cursed when Remus and Madame Pomfrey walked out of the map's reach.

So Remus was going somewhere, using a secret passageway away from the castle.... It made sense, but where?

After quite a while, Madame Pomfrey returned to the Hospital wing, without Remus, of course.

I sighed. So much information, and yet so little....

My eyes drifted off, and before I knew it, I was looking at the dot labeled 'Sirius Black', who was next to several dots with the name tags 'James Potter', 'Peter Pettigrew' and 'Marlene McKinnon'.

A smile made its way to my lips, but I nearly got a heart attack (so I obviously snapped out of it) when the door to the dormitory banged open and Valerie, Lina and Aleya walked in.

"Heyoo," Aleya greeted. "Why were you in such a rush?"

"Um...," I tried to think of something to say, discretely holding the map closer, so that they wouldn't see the content. "I got an idea for my Potions essay, and I didn't want to forget it."

Valerie shook her head amusedly. "Only you, Freya."

I quickly smiled at them and returned my eyes to the map. "You know, I actually have to study and add something, but I don't want to keep you all up, so I'm just going down to the common room, okay?"

Lina nodded. "Okay, see you."

I slipped into my slippers, grabbed my wand and bag, stuffing the map in it.

Then I went downstairs, only to find the common room pretty crowded.

My favourite place by the window was occupied, but I was lucky enough to get a relatively quiet corner to myself.

Then I took out the map again and let my eyes roam over it once more.

I didn't even know what I was looking for, since I'd already found out where Remus went (well, I didn't, but I still kind of did), but I felt at peace doing that, and I loved looking at the map and all of the dots.

Without intending to, my eyes drifted back to the Gryffindor common room. But Sirius, James and Peter weren't there anymore!

With my heart rate speeding up again, I saw their dots close to the common room, but moving away from it.

What were they doing!?

I didn't even notice that I'd started to chew on my lower lip. Neither did I notice that the common room was getting less and less crowded by the minute.

I just kept staring at the three dots. And when I saw them entering the passage way beneath the tree, too, I was horrified. And when I looked out of the window and saw the glistening white full moon shining, I was even more horrified.

They were following Remus!? Why would they do that!? They were getting themselves killed! What they were doing was incredibly dangerous and beyond stupid!

What were they thinking!?

Panicking, I stood up and started pacing up and down in front of my seat, where the map was laying as well.

My breath was shallow and my hands were trembling - what was I supposed to do!? I couldn't follow them, as much as I wanted to. There was a fully grown werewolf down there, and I wouldn't be of any help when I was dead or unconscious.

Besides, it was probably already too late. The marauders had already joined Remus, and the full moon was out.

I was absolutely terrified and couldn't calm down, my mind racing.

I chewed on my lip and fingers, pacing through the empty common room throughout the whole night, occasionally glancing at the map to see if they had returned.

Everytime I saw that they hadn't returned, I felt even worse. What if they didn't come back?

What if they were..... I didn't even dare to think about it.

What if something happened to Sirius? What if he.... Well?

I clapped my hand over my mouth, suppressing a sob, or any other similar sound.

I felt sick to my stomach, my eyes burning.

Calm down, Freya!

I tried, seriously. I was probably overreacting, too. But I couldn't stop moving and I couldn't stop imagining every worst case scenario possible.

Before I knew it, it was dawn. I checked the map. Still no sign of th- wait!

Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and James Potter were back in a corridor!

This time, I couldn't contain myself and started crying.

Whether it was out of relief, shock or the after-effect of me spending the whole night absolutely terrified, I didn't know.

I just collapsed and sat down on the floor, silently weeping with my head between my hands.

Thank God nothing had happened to him.

He was alive.

I don't know when I finally managed to calm myself down, but it was just in time to prevent others from seeing me like that. The first students were entering the common room, ready to go to breakfast and start their day.

And I hadn't gotten an ounce of sleep. Great.

I was incredibly exhausted and tired, but we had classes and it was time for breakfast. So I quickly went up to my dormitory, made myself presentable and organised everything for my classes that day.

My dorm mates had woken up somewhere in the process, and they probably thought that I'd just woken up early, so they didn't ask any questions.

The perk of always having dark bags under your eyes was that noone noticed when you didn't get much sleep.

Half asleep, we (or rather I) had breakfast. I scanned the Great Hall, but except for Lily Evans, Alice Fortescue and Dorcas Meadowes, noone I knew was sitting at the Gryffindor table.

I had my first class with the Slytherins, and the second class was Arithmancy, where I finally saw Sirius.

He was a little late and flopped down on the seat next to me. He looked exhausted but fine.

My heart swell in relief.

Thank God. But how!?

The question quickly exited my mind when Sirius turned to face me. He eyed my suspiciously. "Is everything okay? You look tired."

Because I was tired, I was twice as emotional, okay? But I was just so relieved that he was fine that tears started to prickle in my eyes once again.

I blinked, but Sirius had already noticed them. He sat up straighter. "Frey?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing." My voice was trembling, so Sirius obviously didn't believe me.

He hesitated, but then he quickly glanced at our Professor, making sure that he didn't look, and bent forward to hug me.

My heart melted and I tried my best to not cry even more.

Merlin, what was wrong with me??

But I hugged him back, of course.

Sirius was here, in my arms, alive and healthy.

"It's okay," he mumbled softly, his hand brushing over my hair. "I'm here for you."

And that's when I realised it.

This thing I was feeling.... That was more than a crush.

I had had these feelings for more than three months now. I had tried to ignore and suppress them, but to no avail. They had only grown stronger.

Sirius made me the happiest person ever and I had had a panic attack at the thought of something happening to him.

I was falling in love with him.

I wanted to update yesterday AND the day before yesterday, but I didn't have time because something always came up. Now I'm staying up way too long to update now. I didn't do homework and I didn't learn, I'll have to do that in the morning before class, now 😂🙈

But I hope that the longer wait was worth it!

Thanks for reading!

Stay happy!

Xoxo, your fangirl