1.

If I could

I would nail these hands

to the edges of stars.

I would sacrifice

this body to the sky

hoping to resurrect as someone

spiteful enough

to not care about you.

2.

Staple me to a cross.

Pierce my side with a broken promise.

I will bleed all the crippled reasons

why you deserve one more chance.

3.

Loving you

was the last thing

I felt really good at.

4.

You want to know

how I got these scars?

I ripped every last piece of you

out of my smile.

5.

I whispered you stardust.

6.

I spoke you into sunflower.

7.

I dipped my hands in forever,

touched you infinity.

Treated you as if you were

the last molecule of oxygen

inside of a gas chamber.

I was so good to you.

8.

You want to know

how I got these scars?

I swallowed my pride.

It clawed its way

out of my mouth.

9.

I realized I was never

really your boyfriend.

I was your hype man.

10.

I hope your next boyfriend

get smallpox.

10.

Yes, I said smallpox.

10.

I hate you.

10.

I still miss you.

10.

I still love you.

10.

I love you.

10.

I love you.

10.

It's hard for me to count

when I get emotional.

10.

I heard 90% of human

interaction is nonverbal, so...

10.

If I could

I would tie your arms to a daydream

and auction you off

to my fondest memories.

I wrote this poem in

my own spinal fluid.

I put it on the backbone of a white flag.

Before you read it

you'll already know I've given up.

I'll keep you here.

Shackled to the most important

chapter of my life story,

pressed into the

basement of my eyelids

like liquid salvation

so I remember you beautiful.

With amazing underneath your wings

and an orchid smile.

You gorgeous earthquake.

You cracked hourglass

with sand spilling from behind your ribs.

You wasted my time.

How dare you linger on my lips

and then kiss me like a stuttering apology

with excuses stapled to the roof of your mouth?

I still remember you

like a dream tattooed to the inner walls

of a long-term memory,

but some days I wonder if you existed at all.

And of course,

you want to know how I got these scars.

I'll tell you.

I got these scars

the day I fell in love with you.

I landed face first.