《COZplay》Part 8
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His phone was silent all the next day, and after last night Felix was sure that it was for the best.
He was glad that there was no school today and he could be left alone and calmly think everything over.
Not that his thoughts were really calm.
Even with his vivid creative mind it was hard for him to imagine what he could say to Marinette in such a situation. How could he explain to her that the guy she was trying to seduce had feelings for her and didn't want her to kiss him with hatred?
Oh yeah, by the way, I am that guy! I wanted you so much yesterday that I almost exploded with desire, and was able to stop only because the pain of your hatred for me was stronger?
Not a bad story. But who will believe in it?
Definitely not the girl who hates him!
Felix felt like that guy who kept yelling 'wolves' when there were no wolves, and now that he wanted to tell the truth, there was no way anyone would believe him.
She wouldn't.
And the truth was that he fell in love like a fool with a girl who hated him fiercely. And not only hated, but wanted to use his body without having any tender feelings for him.
When did his already fucked-up life manage to come to such a dead end?
Felix had just received text from his mother that she had reached their London home safely, when the doorbell rang.
He got up reluctantly and walked to the front door. He dismissed the servants, not wanting to see anyone, but it looked like someone decided to bother him anyway.
Felix opened the door and froze.
Marinette stood in the doorway holding some papers.
She was wearing her normal clothes, no extra buttons undone, — Felix noted automatically, not sure how to interpret the information.
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"Miss Bustier asked me to see that you fill out these papers." She said, turning her eyes away, and handed him the papers without looking. "They should be returned to me immediately."
No hint of flirting or seduction. Her usual hard, slightly aggressive tone.
Only a faint blush was visible on her cheeks, probably natural shame for her yesterday's behavior or something like that?
"I can fill them out now and you can take them up right away." Felix offered, without greeting her too, mirroring her stern, business-like tone.
Marinette finally raised her eyes at him. They were filled with silent resentment.
"It suits me." She spoke in a restrained voice.
Felix turned and led her to his room. Marinette followed him in silence, but Felix could almost feel her glaring at his back.
"Why is your house so quiet?" She asked as Felix sat down at the table in his room, having previously pulled a chair closer for her in case she needed to clarify something about the papers.
"My mother won't be back from London until tomorrow night, so I let everyone go." He explained, worrying for a moment whether their privacy would provoke her yesterday's behavior.
His chest tightened uncomfortably at the memory.
Felix looked up and met her resentful gaze studying his face. Marinette held her gaze on him for a while longer, then placed the papers in front of him and sat down in the chair pulled up for her.
Felix began to fill out the papers, trying to focus on what he was writing, but his thoughts were confused and lost, which hadn't happened to him for a long time. Usually his mind was cold and calculating, but this whole situation had completely thrown him off balance.
Not only did this girl stir up fountains of feelings and emotions in him, which he decided to bury the same day he buried his father, she also hated him and at the same time wanted to use him...
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Felix was so deep in his thoughts, automatically writing down the required information on paper, that he didn't notice how quietly Marinette had been sitting all this time.
When the last line was written, he woke up from his thoughts and turned to her to tell her that everything was done, but froze with his mouth open.
Marinette sat in her chair, turning to the window and staring at it with an unseeing gaze. Her chin rested on the fist of her hand, which she rested on the armrest with her elbow.
Silent tears streamed down her cheeks.
At the sight of this picture, Felix felt an unpleasant chill run down his back.
Yesterday Marinette seemed to him so strong and confident, cruel and insidious, that he felt like a victim caught in her claws...
But the girl whom he saw now was hurt and broken.
Felix's chest tightened painfully because he could be the cause of her pain.
His body moved on its own.
Felix stood up slowly, walked around the table and knelt beside her, leveling his face with hers.
Marinette continued to stare into the space of the window, not noticing him or her own tears.
Felix raised his hand and ran his fingers down her cheek, wiping away her tears.
Marinette shuddered and turned her face towards him, accidentally placing it deeper in his palm. She stared at Felix for a couple more seconds, as if she didn't recognize him, then her eyes cleared, as if returning from the veil of her heavy thoughts, and Marinette made a barely noticeable movement back, shifting away from him.
But this movement was enough to send the lump back into Felix's throat at her rejection.
He took a deep breath. And what was he thinking as he approached her?! – love conquers hate only in fairy tales and theatrical productions, – and certainly not in his fucked up life!
With those thoughts Felix looked down and began to move his hand away from Marinette's face when her palm stopped him.
Felix sucked in a breath at the unexpected touch and looked up at Marinette, feeling himself losing control of his emotions again.
The girl was looking at him with frightened eyes, as if she herself didn't expect her hand to grab his. Her lips were parted and her chest heaved heavily.
She looked down at Felix's hand in hers and returned her gaze to his face while her lips were moving soundlessly, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.
Then Marinette's gaze flickered to his lips and Felix sucked in another sharp breath as his entire body responded sensually to the memory of her passionate kisses.
She lifted her eyes and with a deepening breath looked into his eyes again. Her pupils dilated and her eyes were covered with a new veil, but this time there was not sadness in them, but fire.
Felix didn't know who moved first — they probably leaned toward each other at the same time — but his eyes closed on their own as he dived into Marinette's kiss.
***
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Delve
Truth hides behind action. Delve. A word with many meanings. It may refer to an abyss, a dark place of no return or may also be a refuge, a haven of retreat from the harshness of the outside. None of those are right to me. For me, to delve is to seek the truth. Delving into that dark abyss and coming back with answers. To leave that safe refuge and suffer the pain of the outside just because it is real. This is the story of me delving deep into the truths of the universe. Suffering things that should not be suffered in search of things that should not be known. Once a common man, drowned in the same questions that have plagued humanity since the beginning of times, now I have found my answers. Now I have meaning. Delve, and you shall have yours as well. Jack is a regular citizen of modern society: he works on an office, uses public transport every day, receives a meager salary, and drowns his frustrations with entertainment and alcohol. Maybe, the only thing that sets him apart from many others, is his unique outlook on life. Despite feeling an unfillable void in his soul and suffering from deep depression, he still sees as his duty to be a functional, exemplary member of society. All in order to prove his life-goal point: no matter how good you are, life is still shit. This point-of-view, however, will be challenged by circumstances as a mysterious encounter with a weirdly dressed man takes him to a strange and dark cave. In this place, he will have to fight for his life against fantastical creatures from fiction, and more importantly, get face to face with his own nature. In doing so, he will uncover secrets about the cave that will change both him and all he ever thought to be true.
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