《forever | sugawara x reader》05

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The next day at school I was confronted by both Asahi and Daichi, although it seemed they each had their own separate need to talk to me from the way the awkwardly stood next to each other but not making eye contact.

"What's up guys?" I asked, confused about their serious expressions.

"I need to talk to you," Daichi said, looking almost disappointed in me.

"M-me too," Asahi chimed in. He looked as sheepish as ever and I didn't know who to respond to.

"Well, we can talk whenever you want," I said, my hands sweating even though I had no idea what was wrong. "Is everything okay?"

Asahi's face flushed a bit, scratching the back of his neck as he stayed quiet and avoided looking at me. Daichi on the other hand kept his eyes locked on mine, his gaze a mix of hurt and apprehension. He looked up at the ceiling and groaned, thrusting his hands in his pockets.

"We can talk after practice," he sighed, turning on his heel and walking away from Asahi and I. There were still a few minutes until classes began and I waited for him to open up, a very uncomfortable silence settling over us.

"Okay," he breathed, looking so nervous I thought he might faint. "You're one of m-my closest friends and I don't know how to say how much I appreciate you without it sounding weird, b-but, like, I wanted to talk about (y/n)..."

He looked up from his shoes trying to gauge my reaction, which must have been pretty telling because his eyes shot back to the floor after only a second. I frowned and looked away too, knowing what was coming.

"I know we both like her," he sighed, sounding more sure than before. "And I don't want to fight over her because she's too good for that and so are we. But this whole thing is killing me because I have no idea how she really feels about either of us and I- I just want all of us to be happy, you know?"

I was afraid he might start crying if I said the wrong thing, so I looked up at him with a smile. I wasn't faking it though; I felt relieved that we were on the same page, and despite all the confusion it felt good to finally lay everything out on the table.

"I feel the same, Asahi," I said. "Our friendship is really important to me- more than any girl, even if it is (y/n)."

We both laughed and I felt some of the suffocating tension leave the air and I felt relieved to have my smile returned by him finally.

"She's really something else though, isn't she?" He said as we walked to class together.

"It's not hard to believe both of us like her," I laughed, a little happy to talk to someone other than my mom about my crush, even if Asahi was technically my competition. "She's definitely something else to say the least." He blushed, covering his face with his hands as we entered our classroom.*

"She drives me so crazy," he said, his voice weak. "Is it the same for you? It's almost torture to like somebody so much..."

"Exactly!" I burst out. "I thought it was just me!"

We gushed to each other about (y/n) until class started, and it was refreshing to not be on edge with my best friend for the first time in seemingly ages. The day continued on the same high note, until practice came and I was reminded of Daichi's solemn expression from this morning.

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"Hey Daichi," I said as we stretched together. "What did you wanna talk about this morning?"

He locked eyes with me, his gaze intense despite the blush creeping up his neck.

"Not here," he replied, giving me a nod that said we'd talk later, when we were alone. I nodded back, pushing away the anxious thoughts and focusing on volleyball instead.

Practice went by quickly, everybody on their A game- Kageyama and Hinata were barely even at each others' throats. After we'd all changed and said our goodbyes, I prepared myself for the looming conversation with Daichi. Asahi sensed the tension between us and walked with Noya, leaving us to ourselves.

"So," I began, trying to keep a positive attitude. "What's up?"

"Suga-san," he stopped walking and grabbed my bicep, both of us now facing each other. "We're best friends, right?"

I gave him a confused look, caught off guard by his question.

"Of course," I answered, sure to look him in the eyes. His gaze was like a knife, sharp and serious. "What makes you ask?"

"That means we don't keep secrets from each other, right?"

"Of course not," I spoke, my heart beginning to pound in my chest. "Daichi, what's going on?" He clutched my arm that he had yet to let go of and I put a hand on his shoulder, trying to understand him.

"Suga... I feel like you're becoming distant from me," he finally broke eye contact, his eyes darting away from me. "And I know it's because of (y/n). And I'm not mad at you or anything for liking her, but I wish you would at least tell me instead of ignoring my texts all the time and getting lost in daydreams about her when we're together."

I pulled my hand away from him, guilt washing over me. I found it difficult to look at him now, let alone respond.

"I... Daichi, I'm-"

"You don't have to apologize," he interrupted, his voice strong and confident as always. "Just... we're best friends, okay? It makes me nervous that as soon as a girl shows up I have to worry about our plans for the future changing. I don't want to have to find another roommate or change universities before we graduate."* He laughed and I knew he was trying to lighten things up as we finally continued to walk home, but I felt myself drowning in my thoughts, unable to genuinely laugh along with him. We eventually parted ways and once I was alone with just my thoughts they consumed me.

Am I losing touch with what's actually important to me all over a girl? If we got together would I change my plan to go to university and mold myself around her instead? When did Daichi even text me? Oh my god, I really am losing it because of her. Do I have to force myself to forget about her so things go back to normal? Do I even want to go back to how things were, though?

I went inside quietly, slipping out of my shoes and heading upstairs to my room before even greeting my parents, not up to explaining everything right then. I let my backpack slide off my shoulders as I slowly sat on my bed, leaning my head down to my knees. My heart hadn't stopped racing, my thoughts rushing in my head as I tried to calm myself down.

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I knew the truth deep down; I knew that Daichi was completely right, that I'd changed since I met (y/n). It wasn't her fault, as badly as I wanted it to be so I wouldn't have only myself to blame. I knew I'd fallen too quickly, totally enamored by all my self-made ideas of her, rather than the girl who I'd only met twice. I desperately wanted to force myself to stop thinking about her, to get her face out of my head but as hard I tried my heart felt too empty at even the idea of not at least getting the chance to know her better.

I changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt and fell into bed, too conflicted to eat or focus on studies. I wondered if (y/n) thought about the possibility of us never becoming more than friends, or if she thought about me at all. It seemed impossible that I could spend so much time thinking of one person without popping into their head even once. I eventually drifted off into a restless, dreamless sleep, wondering what exactly "normal" meant at this point and if it was worth the aching pain in my heart.

-

Days go by and (y/n) doesn't show up to any of our practices, much to Hinata's dissapointment. I don't try texting her or starting any conversations, knowing that it was best to let things work out on their own rather than force it.

One thing I couldn't quite help myself from though was finding her on almost every social media site, staying up until the late hours of the morning completely engulfed in her profiles. She was more than a writer, I'd found out- she was nothing less than famous online, followers in over the hundred thousands on every site.* Her Twitter account had over one million followers, a number I couldn't possibly fathom. How did the awkward girl I'd fallen for have an entire life I had no clue about? She posted about everything from the environment to the inner workings of feminism to what she ate for breakfast and what her outfit for the day was. I hit the "follow" button, slightly self conscious at how underwhelming my 643 followers were compared to hers, even though before I thought I had a lot.

A week goes by without any word from (y/n) and I suddenly remember that she is an actual adult, who has to pay for her own bills and groceries and anything else a person needs. We were all probably a microscopic thought in her head at any given time, and I finally let myself stop stressing about why she hadn't texted me or come to a practice. Asahi and I would mention her now and then but it wasn't exactly the most comfortable topic and she usually passed from our conversations without any real trouble.

After another two weeks I wondered if (y/n) had been a strange and lovely dream I'd had. The weather was becoming hot as summer approached and it felt like she had came and went so quickly she must not have been real, until one late afternoon I saw a head peek in through the gymnasium doors, a big grin across her face. Coach Ukai waved her in and she scurried inside, a look of relief as she entered the air conditioned room.

"Hey!" Ukai barked. "I didn't say to stop just because (y/n) is here! Get back to work!" All of us swiftly returned to drills but I couldn't help my gaze gravitating towards where she stood next to Ukai and Takeda Sensei, her smile bright as they spoke words I couldn't hear. Her eyes flicked to me for just a moment and mortification swept over me that I'd been caught staring. I set another ball as my teammates spiked them over the net, Hinata looking anxious to make sure (y/n) was watching when it was his turn.

"(Y/n), (y/n)!" He said as I got ready to set the ball for him. She turned away from her uncle, smiling when she saw Hinata. "Watch me!" She nodded and glanced at me again, my head whipping back towards my underclassman. I tossed the ball at just the right angle for him, sure to make it high enough so he could show off his jumping to (y/n). As soon as his spike hit the other end of the court he ran over to her, much to Ukai's anger.

"Was it good?" He asked, hanging on her every word. Her lips curled up at an angle more perfect than any toss I'd ever thrown and I thought in that moment that she could literally turn a grey sky blue with her smile. Everybody gathered around her and I realized she couldn't have been a dream because there was no possible way my brain could create someone so perfect. Daichi and I join the group and I remind myself to try and keep my distance since in reality this is the third time we've met and that there is plenty of time for me to fall in love with her. Forever, I think.

Practice ends and the heat is so intense outside that it nearly knocks me down. (Y/n) lingers for a while, talking with Ukai more seriously than before. The whole team is clearly waiting for her, everybody clamoring to grab her attention.

"Why aren't you with her?" Tsukishima scoffs as he approaches me. "Isn't she your girlfriend?"

I know my face is as red as the sunset and I smile up at him, feeling Daichi's eyes from where he stood next to me.

"No, she's not my girlfriend..." I chuckle, when I notice Tsukishima's eyes looking behind me. I turn and see (y/n), her expression curious.

"Who's not your girlfriend?" She asks, and I hate the innocence she's feigning because there's no way she doesn't know what's going on.

"You," Tsuki says as he and Yamaguchi turn away to walk home, leaving me and (y/n) the center of attention among the rest of the team who stood around us. Despite what I thought she smiles at me; not a fake, I'm-so-uncomfortable smile but a genuine one. I find myself smiling back in the same way, everybody else fading into the background as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Not yet, at least."

-

*idk if they are canonically in the same class but........if they aren't my b

*idk if this is canon either but for this fic dai and suga r going to univ together and will b roommates that's the whole plan they have :'-)

*wow so many notes at the end of this chap anyways (y/n) is the equivalent of like alexis isabel or destiny eartheld (if u don't know them look them up they r awesome) ok. cool

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