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“Wasn’t expecting to see that,” Charles said after we came down the stairs for breakfast. “Didn’t think you would chop it all off yourself.”

“Julie did it for me,” Jimmy told him.

I still hadn’t got used to looking at it. It shouldn’t have been a big deal to me, but I couldn’t get used to it easily. It was probably because for the last month or so I have only ever looked at three faces. I memorized every detail on them, especially Jimmy’s. Now without long hair tucked behind his ears, his face was much more exposed to me.

“It looks good,” he said.

“Yeah, you no longer look like a girl,” Tommy piped up.

Jimmy glared at him and Tommy smiled at himself. Charles cleared his throat and Jimmy looked back down at his bowl.

“I’ve been talking to Uncle Noah,” Charles told them.

The mood in the room instantly changed. It was no longer tense as Jimmy and Tommy looked like they were wanting to tear of each other’s head. Now they were both smiling at each other and looked like two little boys excited on Christmas morning.

“He told me that we can come over to their house and visit for a week whenever we want,” he told the table.

“So when will that be?” Tommy asked.

“It all depends on your brother,” Charles said, focusing all of his attention on Jimmy. “When do you think we should go?”

Jimmy looked over at me. He chewed on his lips as he looked at me a little concerned. I felt my stomach twist. He obviously choses when he wants the rest of his family to meet me and he doesn’t look like he’s happy about that. He must be embarrassed of me.

“Give me a month,” Jimmy said.

“A month?” Charles asked wryly. “I know she’s settling in really well, but that seems a little ambitious for you. You know she’ll have to be completely comfortable with the idea before we go to their house.”

They were talking about me like I wasn’t even sitting there. I wanted to ask them what they were talking about, but I managed to control myself. I wasn’t allowed to ask questions and he would have to tell me soon.

Jimmy put his hand on my knee underneath the table. He looked over and flashed me a quick smile. He brushed his hair behind his ear. Old habits die hard.

“Yeah, a month will be more than enough,” Jimmy told his father.

“It better be,” Charles said. “Don’t put it off and don’t disappoint the family.”

“I don’t plan on,” Jimmy said. “I wasn’t planning on putting it off for long anyways.”

Put what off? I wanted to scream out at the top of my lungs. I stayed quiet though and looked over to Jimmy. He and Charles were staring at each other, like they were reading the other’s mind. I dared to look over at Tommy, and he shot me an evil smirk. He knew what they were talking about.

“Juliet,” Charles said, looking over at me. “I’ve noticed that you’ve started eating more now.”

“Yes, I have,” I agreed. “Is that okay?”

“It’s more than okay,” he said lifting his lips up into a smile. “You’re settling in great. You’ve really become part of the family.”

The heat rushed up to my cheeks and I smiled at him. Jimmy’s hand was still on my knee and he began to move it up and down so he was rubbing my thigh.

“Thank you,” I told him.

“Trust me it’s a pleasure,” Charles said. “We haven’t had a beautiful face like yours around since my girl – the boys’ mother – has died.”

“Thank you,” I said again.

It was the first time I had heard any of them mention her. There was only a few photos around, but there wasn’t a woman in any of them. I always found that strange. If they were missing her, they must want to be able to see her somehow.

Jimmy and Tommy both looked surprised to hear him mention her. Tommy got up out of his chair and dropped his bowl into the sink. He went out the kitchen door without saying a word.

“I guess what better get out and start working,” Charles told Jimmy.

“Yeah we better,” he agreed.

Charles got out of his chair and went outside. Jimmy got up too and I did the same. He cupped my face with one hand kissed me.

“Are you alright?” I asked him.

“Yeah, of course,” he said before leaning down to give me another quick kiss. “Just a bit of a slow start to the day so I better go so we can catch up.”

“Okay.”

I watched as Jimmy walked out of the house.

What Charles said at breakfast obviously bother Jimmy. It wasn’t just mentioning his mother that upset him, but also about tell me something. Jimmy says he always wants to protect me, so whatever he hasn’t told me must be for my own good. I just wish I knew what it was.

He admitted to me the other day that they kill their own daughters, so whatever he has been keeping from me must be bad. What could possibly be worse than killing your own babies?

I knew that they had good reason for killing girls. Jimmy explained to me that they can’t survive when they’re young, and this stops me from getting attached and hurt. It was hard to accept, but I did it. Jimmy would never do anything to hurt me.

Whatever he was keeping from me was bad, but in the end I knew that it would be what’s for the best. I would accept whatever it was just as quickly.