'Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important,'

- Steve Jobs

Epilogue

Azelie walked on the stony path, a cold wind blowing her long brown hair around. She had always hated grave yards, but she had to admit, Bay-view Cemetery was peaceful.

She remembered the first time she had visited the cemetery with him. The day after he had drunkenly admitted that his mother had jumped off a bridge in front of him. They were only beginning to be friends then, and yet he had trusted her to know such a big part of his life.

Azelie slowly walked down the path, trying to slow her journey to the graves down, enjoying the peacefulness of the grave yard while it lasted. She took a left, remembering the route to the graves perfectly. She held two bunches of flowers in her arm. She spotted the stone graves as her heart clenched in her chest, tears beginning to rise. She had promised herself that she would be strong - that she wouldn't cry. She had promised him that should would be okay, that she wouldn't cry.

Taking a deep breath in, she walked closer to the graves, not managing to hold back some of the tears that fell. She visited the graveyard every Sunday, without fail. She quickly walked up to the first grave, laying the bunch of flowers on the grave as she stepped back to read the inscription.

'June Grey, loving mother, wife and friend, rest in peace,'

She hadn't known his mother, at one point she had even hated her for leaving him like that, but she had realised that she hadn't been thinking straight, she hadn't been thinking about how her suicide would affect her family and instead thought it would be the best possible thing for her family; just like Azelie had done. It was then that she realised that she had to face the second grave.

It had been six years since the death but still she hadn't fully come to terms with it, perhaps she never would be. Pushing down the tears, she turned to the grave, reading the writing over and over.

"Hi," Azelie croaked, sitting herself down next to the grave, looking down at the floor. "Well, I'm back again..." she added, hoping that they could hear her, that they knew that she still thought about them and loved them. "Here to annoy you some more with my babbling! Your father's doing alright, I went to see him yesterday. Made me some of his lasagna, you know that I always loved it," she continued on, the words just flowing out of her.

"Azelie are you talking to my sister about my father's lasagna?" a voice spoke, light and full of humor. Her heart sped up in her chest, an reaction that always happened with he was around.

"Yeah so? It's yummy!" She smiled, looking up at Cole, smiling slightly. He rolled his eyes at her as he sat down next to her, his hand reaching over to hers before giving it a tight squeeze. Azelie's eyes scanned over the faint scar on this side of Cole's face, running from the top of his cheek and ending around his eyes. He had his scar on his face, Azelie had her's on her back. Her t-shirt had been soaked in petrol from when she had been lying in the car, trying to get Cole out and when the car exploaded, her back was badly burnt. Their had faded over time, and Cole's was party covered by his messy hair, but that was the thing about scars. They would fade over time; but those memories would not. Not these memories, not Azelie's.

She didn't like to think back to that day, it was always going to be painful for her. Seven years on from the crash and countless therapy sessions and Azelie couldn't talk to anybody about it except Cole. Dr. Gardiner and Cole were the only two people who knew exactly what happened before the crash.

They had both died that day, Azelie was dead when the paramedics had found them both just have the explosion, and Cole was barely hanging on and was still awake. They managed to revive her and she was rushed into surgery as soon as she reached the hospital. The doctors figured out that Cole had massive internal bleeding, plus the fact that he had lost a lot of blood already, and he went into hypovolemic shock, then his heart stopped. The doctors managed to get it started again, and after using half of the hospital's blood supply and spending hours in surgery, his condition slowly started to improve, just Azelie's did.

They both should have died, and stayed dead. But they didn't. They fought through it, they surived.

"I leave you for two minutes and you talk about lasagna? You are probably boring her so much! Couldn't you have just talked about how awesome I am?" Cole joked. He missed his sister so much. But he also knew that he couldn't imagine how much pain Lily had been in her final days. The sister he knew had disappeared by then, the cancer literally sucking the life out of her. She had been given three months to live, but managed to hang on for a entire year, a time that they all didn't take for granted. Cole had put university off for a year so he could stay home with Lily, while Azelie went the university of British Columbia and came home every weekend.

It had been a hard year, but she went peacefully in the end - in her sleep, surrounded by those who loved her. Cole couldn't of thought of a better way. A tear rose to his eye as he quickly wiped it away. He thought of Lily every day, and how much he missed her. He would always love and miss his little sister, even thought he knew that she was in a better place.

"Well if we talked about how awesome you were, it would be a rather short conversation, Love," Azelie joked, pulling Cole from his train of thought. He smiled down at his wife, and gently leaned down and kissing her on the lips. She leaned against him as they say on the grass in silence, memories of Lily running thought their heads.

Azelie had always found it funny, how everything could seem in one moment so broken, so irreplaceable and unfixable - so lost. That's what she was before she met Cole. From the moment she met him, he was there, picking up the pieces that had been broken off of her over the years, putting her back together, making the new pieces and finding the old pieces. Everything had been broken; she had been broken. And now she was fixed, all shiny and new. She was a different person. She no longer had to lean off the wrong sides of bridges to feel like she could be anyone, do anything thing. She was happy, and that's all anybody ever needs to be in life.

"Come on, Kelly and Alex will be at the house soon," Azelie spoke, breaking the silence that had fallen between them, looking up at Cole as she leaned on him for comfort.

"The terror! Do we really have to go back to them?" He smirked, his green eyes catching Azelie's.

"Yes! You were the one that invited them over!" Azelie replied, rolling her eyes at her husband as she pushed herself away from him to stand up so they could leave.

"So? Are they taking the twins?" Cole questioned as Azelie began to stand up from the ground, leaving him lying on the ground alone as he stretched out, disliking the idea of having to move.

"Probably," Azelie shrugged, putting her arm out too pull Cole up.

"Arg! There's still time to cancel! We could just hide out somewhere - just the two of us," He said, the smirk playing on his lips growing as he waggled his eyebrows. After all this time, it still shocked Azelie just how immature Cole could be, not that she didn't mind it, she loved that he could be playful and serious. "Maybe make a few twins ourselves rather than sitting through the terror of Francis and Reese!" The last statement sent Azelie's mind into meltdown.

Should she tell him? They had been talking, well more that just talking, about it for so long. But they had lost so many over the past year. They both wanted it, but she just couldn't take herself to tell him. Maybe she was scared of jinxing it all, Azelie was hardly a stranger to superstition. She had decided long ago that she wanted to wait for three months until she told him, just incase it happened again. She didn't need to tell him that something was on her mind, he instantly read it in her face. Suddenly, Cole pushed himself up on the ground and grabbed onto Azelie's hand and pulling her down to the ground, landing safely on Cole without even so much of a thump. His actions had certainly caught her attention, screaming slightly as he pulled her down on top of him.

"What's wrong, Azelie?" He questioned, rolling her over until he was on top of her, making sure he wasn't squishing her under his weight.

"Nothing, it's nothing!" She replied, trying to make the smile playing on her lips convincing, but Cole could see through the lies.

"Look - it will happen soon! I promise you we will not lose another, okay!" Cole spoke, his voice soft as he looked into Azelie's brown eyes. He quickly kissed her on the lips, trying to convince her that what he had said was true.

They had been married for three years, and had been trying for a baby for the last year and a half. Azelie had fallen pregnant twice in that time, but both times had ended in a miscarriage shortly after.

"You mean we won't lose this baby," Azelie said, telling him what was on her mind. It's not like she could hide it from him any longer, the morning sickness was beginning to get worse and it wouldn't be long until he figure it out.

"What?" He questioned, his green eyes growing wide while his lips began to form a smile.

"I said - we won't lose this baby," She repeated, love filling her brown eyes as she saw how happy he was. Almost immediately he kissed her on the lips, trying to put as much love and affection in it as possible as happiness and love for his wife and unborn child began to fill him. He quickly climbed off Azelie before heading down to her stomach, rubbing it with his hand, making Azelie giggle happily.

"Hello little leprechaun in there!" he smiled, talking to her stomach. Azelie let out a laugh as she raised her head off the ground to watch her husband. He slowly lifted her top up to above her belly button, and pressed his fingers into the belly button and speaking in to it. "Me and your mommy are going to take extra care of you little girl-"

"Girl? I think it's a boy!" Azelie interrupted, a smile playing on her lips.

"Excuse me - can't you see that me and our little girly leprechaun are having a discussion?" Cole smirked looking back up at Azelie before looking back down, "Just ignore her - I know your a girl! And don't worry, we are not going to call you a silly name like Frances, you will be called something normal like Jaminea!"

"Jaminea a cat's name, you daftly! And my belly button isn't a microphone!" Azelie laughed, but Cole just carried on to talk into her belly button.

"Well maybe not Janina, but it won't be something weird! I promise!" Cole said as he leaned down and kissing Azelie's stomach softly. "And like I said, me and mummy are going to look after you and when you are born and you grow up, I'll become part of the "Dad's Against Daughter's Dating Association' who have the slogan of 'Shoot one and the word will spread', okay baby girl, so you stay happy, and me and your mummy will love you!"

"Dear lord, if he is a girl - which he isn't - she will never be allowed out without you doing some kind of background check on her friends!" Azelie laughed as Cole sat up straight again, rolling down her top.

"Damn right!" He muttered in reply as he looked back up at Azelie, "Come on, we better get head home," Cole smiled, pushing himself off the ground. He pulled Azelie up to her feet, planting a kiss on her lips as she stood up next to him. "It's going to be alright, you know," he smiled down at his wife.

"I know, this is the baby we get to hold," she smiled as she grabbed his hand and held on to it as they walked away from the graves, smiling at each other as they went.

It was around 4 in the morning when Azelie woke up, a familiar pain stabbing her deep down in her stomach. Tear's rose to her eyes are she realised what was happening for the third time.

"Cole," she cried, clutching onto her stomach, knowing what it was, hoping that it wasn't true. Four months had passed since she had told him. Six months and it was happening all over again. "Cole, love, wake up please," she repeated, shaking him slightly as pain washed over her once again. The familiar un-wanted feel of liquid between her thighs caused the tears to fall. It was all real - their little girl was fading away. Cole stirred slight letting out a groan.

"Just five more minutes, Azelie, just let me sleep!" He mumbled, turning over slight.

"Cole - it's the baby," She spoke, instantly catching Cole's attention. He span round, sitting up straight on the bed.

"What's wrong?" he questioned, his green eyes wide as he looked at his wife, watching the tears roll down her cheeks.

"It's happening again, Cole, it's going," She whispered, watching her husband break down in front of her, wrapping his arms around her body as he began to sob.

"No... no! We said we would keep care of her! This was it! She was going to be our baby!" He cried, as both of them held each other, tears rolling in floods.

"I know.. I-I know," Azelie whispered, praying in her head for somebody to save her baby, to stop it from disappearing from her again. She needed this baby; they both needed this baby. "We need to go to the hospital, Cole," she added. Cole nodded into her, slowly un-wrapping his hands from around her before stretching out to grab the phone which lay on his bedside cabinet. Azelie lay on the bed, her hand clutching onto her huge bump. Azelie loved her bump, she loved that it protected her body - or at least, used to.

A few hours later and she was giving birth, there was no screams of life, no little heart pumping away - nothing. The baby was gone, Azelie was given drugs to force her body to go into labour before having to give birth to her baby - the baby with no heart beat. Azelie and Cole got to hold her though, but there were no coos over how cute it was, only tears as they looked down at their sleeping baby, it's tiny eyes shut, never to open.

Cole looked down at his wife as she held their baby in her arms. They always knew that this was the baby that they would get to hold, but not like this, never like this. Their hearts broke as they had to let go of her, watching her small broken body being wheeled away from them.

And when the day came, that Azelie found out that she was pregnant for the forth time, she cried. She cried for the babies she had lost, and the one she could lose again. Cole loved the baby from the moment he found out about it, but Azelie, she tried not to, she couldn't go through the pain of losing another child again.

But this baby she didn't lose. On the 24th of October, just over a year and a half from the last time Azelie was giving birth, She was back in the hospital, giving birth to a healthy baby girl, named Lily after Cole's sister.

Azelie held her baby in her arms, looking down at it sleeping child as Cole went to go get a coffee. She promised Lily that she would always be loved and care for and that Azelie would never let her go or lose her like she had lost her other children. She promised Lily that she would be happy, and that she was.

"Hey, what you thinking about?" Cole questioned quietly, walking into his wife's room in the hospital, watching her as she looked down at the baby in her arms.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," She answered, unable to tear her gaze away from the tiny baby her arms. Cole didn't say anything else, instead he just walked over to her bed, Azelie shuffling over slight to make room for Cole. He quickly at down on the bed before lying down next to her, wrapping his arms around Azelie, looking down at the newborn.

"She looks like you," he whispered, trying not to wake the sleeping baby.

"She has your eyes thought' she replied, looking up at her husband for the first time since he had entered the room.

"Damn..." He quickly said "She's a girl - I now have to get a shot gun for when she starts dating!" He laughed quietly.

"I'm sure you have a few years before that starts," Azelie yawned tiredly as her eyes began to close, pulling her into her memories from seven years ago, when she was saved from jumping off a bridge from a stranger who proved to her that nobody could be fearless, even those people who had lost everything they loved, and no longer feared death.

AUTHORS NOTE

So first of all, I would like to thank anybody and everybody who had read this book. Whether it was just the prologue, or if you've read it all the way up to this point. If I could hug you all, I would, without a bloody doubt!

I've loved writing this book, but I know i probably wouldn't have been able to do it without the support of all you guys who left your very long comments and voted the crap outta the chapters :) I love you guys so freaking much!

Believe me when I say, I can bet that I'm 10X more emotional than you are about this coming to an end, i really love these characters and all the shit I have put them through, but it is time to say goodbye. There is no chance of a sequel or a spin-off series about anything, I think it's time we left these characters to get on with their lives, don't you?

This chapter is dedicated to the lovely 'TheDuckSurfer' she is honest to Budda one of my closest friend on wattpad, and just like ever. She's honestly so amazing (although she refuses to admit it!) and she had kept me writing this story, and pushing me when I didn't want to continue. She's edited, corrected, and been totally picky with the chapters and I love her for it! And although she breaks every Irish stereotype there is, she's still awesome but she probably hates me after this hell-like ending.

I just want to take a little bit of time to explain why the ending wasn't completely cheerful and happy because I have a feeling that a few of you might be angry at this. There is no doubt in my mind that Azelie is cursed with a life of unhappiness or something weirdly magical like that; she's just extremely unlucky with her life and everything that's happened to her. And the ending had to be upkeeping with that. Before, Cole came along into Azelie's life, she was going to give up. She was depressed, suicidal, she had nothing and nobody to fight for. What Cole gave her was hope in life, and something to fight for. He didn't stand for any of her fearlessness, he fought to show her that she was scared of something. This, then developed into a relationship where Cole and Azelie eventually had to fight thought everything together. They fought together through Lily's death, and eventually, the loss of their unborn children. They fought together like they were supposed to because they are Azelie and Cole. As long as they have each other, they fight.

If you still don't understand it, I think this will explain it better: