'Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity,'

- Henry Van Dyke

Chapter Four

"You!" a voice suddenly said as a tray slammed down opposite to where Azelie was sat, pulling her out of her dream world that she'd been stuck in. She jumped in her seat before looking up to see Kelly smiling brightly down at her, her blue eyes full of happiness.

"Me..." Azelie answered, unsure of what else to say in reply as Kelly sat down where she had placed her tray. It had been a long week for Azelie. She had been overloaded on homework from all her teachers and had hardly slept all week. The lack of rest was just beginning to show on her features with her skin growing paler and her eyes turning a dull brown colour, the golden flakes in her irises disappearing slightly.

"Are you coming to the party tonight?" Kelly questioned, grabbing the fork that lay on her tray as she begain to dig into her lunch, trying to eat it as quickly as possible so she wouldn't have to taste the awful food.

"What party?" Azelie replied, confusion taking over. All week, Kelly had been hanging around with her, sitting with her at lunch and talking to her during her lessons. Azelie didn't mind having a friend to talk to at school, in fact she rather liked Kelly's crazy attitude to everything in life, but she had often wondered why Kelly was choosing to hang around with someone her. Surely Kelly would have some other friends that she could talk to, friends who were far more interesting that Azelie.

"There's a guy in our year - Duke whats-his-face - he holds a party like every Friday night, do you want to go? Alex usually goes but Cole usually takes some persuading until he agrees to go - he's such a boring poop head sometimes!" Kelly rattled on, almost forgetting to breath as she talked on and on to Azelie.

"Poop-head?" Azelie chucked, raising an eyebrow at Kelly's description of Cole.

"Lack of better name," Kelly replied, rolling her eyes at Azelie, remembering what her original question had been "Anyhoo, are you coming - or are you going to be completely boring?"

"I'm gonna have to go with the latter on this," Azelie answered as she took a bite out of her sandwich, thinking about the painting she had started earlier in the week and remembering how she had planned to complete it later on.

"You boring poop-head! Don't leave me with Alex and Cole! I need a girl with me to survive those pair! Talk about dumb and bloody dumber!" Kelly whined at Azelie's answer, not wanting to give up without a fight.

"Sorry, stuff to do; people to see," Azelie replied, shrugging off Kelly's complaining.

"Seriously? You don't even know what it's like to hang around two guys without any other female to talk to about! All they talk about is hookers, and prostitutes, and which car is better than which! As much as I love those two; they're pretty damn annoying! Your lucky they have been busy at lunch times with football practice or you would know what I'm on about!" Kelly babbled on. Azelie had often wondered through out the week how one girl could just babble on for an eternity like Kelly could, seriously, there had been moments where Azelie had been scared that she was going to collapse from talking for too long and not getting enough oxygen. Azelie was sure that if it came to it; Kelly could have a full blown conversation with herself.

"I guess you will just have to find a way to survive without me!" Azelie smiled up at Kelly as she finished off her sandwich. Kelly let out a short laugh, answering Azelie with a smile.

"Oh I know a way - it just involves an entire bottle of tequila and a very bad hangover in the morning!" Kelly replied, sending a smirk over to Azelie who just rolled her eyes at her. "I'm seriously making you pay for not coming! Mark my words - sleep with one eye open Miss Ryans!"

"I'm sure you will be just fine without me," Azelie smiled, shrugging off her threats. The conversation between the pair moved on as they began to discuss how their history teacher was a secret alcoholic for the rest of lunch until the bell finally rang, signaling the end of lunch and the start of their next class. Azelie and Kelly quickly stood up, picking up their bags as they began to walk towards the exit of the busy canteen. Kelly was about to walk out of the door when a blonde suddenly stepped out in front of her, blocking her way and pushing Kelly to the side.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Kelly shouted, her eyes narrowing at the blonde, sending her daggers. The girl turned around to glance at Kelly, a smirk playing on her lips. Azelie recognized the girl as Leigh, the girl who had shown her to her first class on her first day at the school.

"I will always wonder what he sees in you," Leigh scoffed as she walked away from Kelly, leaving her very confused.

"What was that about?" Azelie questioned, confusion taking over as Leigh's words ran round her head.

"Believe me when I say - I have no idea!" Kelly replied, dragging out the 'no'. "Come on, we've got classes to get to. My teacher will kill me if I'm late!" she added, shrugging off Leigh's words like she has said something simple. While Kelly could just forget about things like that; Azelie could not. If somebody had said something like that to her, she would have let it get to her far too much, her mind would be going into overdrive with questions as she tried to figure out the puzzle behind their words. To Azelie, words could be bullets, digging their way at her conscience and if you said it enough to her, she would eventually believe you.

'It's your fault,' rang in Azelie's head, her mind trying to pull up the memory that Azelie had pushed down to the darkest corner of her mind, an example of how simple words, said with enough anger and emotion, could get to her.

"Good catch Grey!" the coach shouted as Cole caught the ball perfectly from halfway down the field, sweat running down his forehead as his heart thumped hard against his rib cage. Cole smiled back at the coach as he threw the ball back to his team mate, sending him running for the ball as it flew over his head. Cole was surprised that his arms hadn't fallen off - he had been practicing catching for most of the week - lunches and after school. The coach was desperate for the football team to win another championship, and he was hell-bent on perfecting his team to get the results he wanted.

"Jesus! I swear to god I need to get my legs amputated after this! I seriously can't run another lap of the field! I'll freaking die!" Alex complained as Cole walked towards him. Alex had been ordered to run continually around the football pitch for the entire day. It had started off easy for him but as the day went on, Alex was beginning to think that running around the pitch was some kind of medieval torture method. Cole just smiled at his best friend, stopping himself from rolling his eyes at the complaining. He had to agree with Alex; the coach was pushing the team just a little too far.

Cole's team had been spread out into different activities. Before the summer, the coach had highlighted each player's weaknesses and vowed that by the start of the October holidays, he would turn their weaknesses into their strengths. Cole had thought that it was a great idea when the coach had first suggested it; but now his opinion had changed completely.

"I know! I think my arms are about to fall off!" Cole replied, standing next to Alex while looking around the field at the rest of his team, watching them struggle as they tried to continue with the coach's orders.

"You coming to Duke's party tonight?" Alex questioned, turning to face Cole.

"Nah - stuff to do," Cole replied, when in reality he had nothing to do. He was simply going to go home and probably sleep his way though his weekend - having a killer hangover wasn't something that Cole wanted to wake up with.

"You say that every Friday but yet Kelly always catches you out and drags you along!" Alex smiling slightly when he mentioned Kelly, not that Cole noticed.

"Yeah... she's annoying when she does that!" Cole replied, realising that it would probably save time if he just went to the party without putting up the usual fight against Kelly. Alex opened his mouth to reply to his friend when the coach caught them talking.

"GREY, KITCH! Stop your gossiping and get back to your training! Kitch, I want to see at least ten more laps from you!" he yelled, making Alex groan in frustration. Alex thought about arguing back but instead, he simply waving goodbye to Cole and running off to complete his final ten laps. Cole walked back over to where he had been, going back to throwing the ball back and forth, praying that the coach wouldn't keep them for too long.

"I'm home!" Cole shouted, his voice echoing around the house as he slammed the front door shut, the familiar smell of home filling his nostrils. His body ached from being pushed to the limits, but he just tried to push the pain to the back of his mind. He dumped his bag at the front door, not bothering to take his shoes off as he walked down the short hall, and into the kitchen at the back of his house. His heart warmed as he caught sight of his younger sister, Lily, sitting at the table, strips of paint on her rosy cheeks. A smile lit up her face as she caught sight of her older brother, instantly dropping the paint brushes onto the table as she ran over to him.

"Coley!" she cried as she ran over to him, wrapping her thin arms around his legs. He laughed a little as he picked her up for a hug. No matter how bad a day Cole had, seeing his little sister happy would always make it better.

"Hey Monkey!" he smiled, squeezing her tightly in his arms, "Have you been painting?" he questioned, looking at the strips of paint on her cheeks. Lily nodded, shaking her head wildly up and down. She pushed slightly away from him, wanting to be put back down again. He released his little sister, making sure she didn't hurt herself when she fell to the ground. Lily ran out of the kitchen and into the living room, the sound of the TV echoing around the house. Cole turned to the other woman in the kitchen, Jane. Jane was Lily's teacher, she was home schooled because of her condition. Cole's father had been terrified to send her to public school after what had happened, so instead decided that home schooling would be best for Lily. She would be watched for the entire day so that if anything did happen, they would be able to call an ambulance straight away.

"Hey Jane, how has she been?" Cole questioned, turning to the small, thin woman. He had known Jane for about a year, since Lily turned six.

"She's been perfect as ever; except she went a little crazy with the paints and got the paper mixed up with her face," Jane joked, walking over to the table where Lily had been and began to clean up all the painting stuff.

"I noticed!" Cole laughed, smiling brightly at Jane. He walked over, picking up some jars of paint while making sure that the lids were on properly. He placed the jars in the paint box, putting them away, all the while, Jane was scrubbing the worktops of the kitchen to make sure that there was no trace of the paint left. Cole was always sure that something was going on between Jane and his father, he always brightened up a little when Jane was around, or even just mentioned in a conversation.

"See you tomorrow?" a voice questioned, pulling Cole out of his daydream. He looked up to see Jane smiling bright at him, her blue eyes shining slightly.

"Yeah, sure! Do you not want to wait for my dad to come home?" Cole questioned, a smile growing on his lips as he thought up a plan to get them on a date. He liked Jane, she was good for Lily and she made his dad happy.

"No, it's okay! He told me this morning that he would be home late," Jane explained, shaking her head slightly, her blonde hair falling out of its messy bun.

"Oh, okay then! See you tomorrow," Cole smiled while moving out of the way so Jane could get past. He watched her walk down the hall, before opening the door. She turned around, flashing him a smile while stepping out into the cold weather, closing the door as she went. Cole dug out food from the fridge, and shoved it in the hot oven. He had never been much of a cook, but he could make the basics. Cole set the timer on the oven, leaving the food to cook and exiting the kitchen and walking into the living room to watch cartoons with his sister.

It was a few hours later when Cole heard the front door opening, the sound of footsteps filling the hall outside the living room. He was sitting watching TV while Lily lay asleep on his lap. The living room door slowly creaked open, revealing his father's greying brown hair as he looked into the room, a smile appearing on his face as he saw Lily.

"Hey," his father whispered, leaning against the door frame, smiling at Cole.

"Hey, tea is in the oven if you're hungry," Cole replied, looking away from his sleeping sister and up to his father. Cole's father owned the local mechanic shop in Bellingham, working long hours to keep up with the health insurance payments he was still paying back.

"Thanks, has she been asleep long?" his father question, his gaze flickering back down to his daughter, her curling hair spread all over the sofa.

"About half an hour or so," Cole answered, his green eyes looking down at his sister. "I was going to take her up to her bed in a minute," he replied. His father nodded in acknowledgement before leaving the living room and walking into the kitchen to get his dinner.

Cole moved carefully, trying to position himself so he could carry his sister up to her bed without waking her up. Cole knew that if Lily woke up, she would be up all night, practically bouncing off the walls with energy. She stirred slightly in his arms as he pushed himself up from the sofa and he stopped for a second, allowing his sister to fall back into the deep sleep she had been in. Once he was sure that she wouldn't wake up again, he carried her out of the living room, up the stairs and into her bedroom, laying her under the covers of her bed, leaving her to sleep. He quietly walked down the stairs, walking down the hall before entering the kitchen where his father was tucking into his dinner.

"How was school?" his father questioned as Cole opened a cupboard, searching for a glass.

"Boring - as usual. Coach decided to push us this year so Alex has a hell of a lot of complaining to do," Cole replied as he picking a glass from the cupboard and walking over to the sink and pouring himself a glass of water.

"About time - you were slacking off last year!" His father replied, Cole rolling his eyes just waiting for his father to come out with the phrase 'back in my day'. "Are you going out tonight?" his father questioned.

"Nah, just gonna watch the football game," he replied, shrugging slightly.

"I thought that you went out every Friday night?"

"Yeah," he answered, "I just can't be bothered," His father rolled his eyes at his son's reply, refusing to let his son be boring.

"What? Go out and live! Jesus - I am not letting my son be boring and 'mature'," his father practically shouted, trying to talk some sense into his son, "Back in my day.."

"Yes, Yes, I know," Cole interrupted, "back in your day you went out and got pissed and fucked anyone who had two boobs and a vagina!"

"Language Colten Grey!" His father smirked, knowing that it was hypocritical of him to tell his son off for swearing when he would have done the exact same thing. "And yes, that's what I did... until I met your mother..." his father added, trailing off into space.

Unwanted memories filled Cole's head, memories he had pushed down into the deepest depths of his mind. Even after years of therapy, nothing quiet worked like just pushing it all down and pretending like it never happened. Cole's hand formed into a fist, anger and frustration taking over. His knuckles turning white has he dug his fingers into his hand, hoping that the pain would be enough to get his mind to focus on something else.

The bridge. His mother. That last look she gave him before.... before everything.

"I'll give Alex a call," Cole said, breaking the silence that had fallen between himself and his father. Cole needed a drink and he needed it now.

"Good, be a normal teenager for once," His father replied, a smile on his lips but the happiness not reaching his eyes as memories of his wife plagued his mind, regret for bringing her up taking over. His father pushed himself up from the table, picking his plate up and placing in the empty sink. "I won't wait up for you so make sure you take your key,"

"Okay," Cole replied, digging his hand into his back pocket and pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing Alex's number.

"See you in the morning," his father said, smiling slightly at his son while walking towards the kitchen doorway.

"See you then," Cole replied as he watched his father walk out of the kitchen and into his office. Cole's attention turned back to his phone, pressing the call button while trying to figure out what he was going to say to Alex.

Cole drove up the dark road, Alex and Kelly singing loudly to the radio as they drove closer and closer to the house where the party was held. He had been dragged into being the allocated driver to get them all home safely which meant that he couldn't drink. Cole wasn't too fond of having to stay sober when all he wanted to do was drink until he forget the thoughts his father had brought up. His grip tightened on the steering wheel as both Alex and Kelly sang the high note of the song, shaking his head at the idiots he called his best friends as he stepped on the accelerator a bit more, trying to shorten the time he had to sit and listen to them sing.

"What's up moody pants?" Kelly questioned, turning in the passenger seat to face Cole while turning down the radio making Alex throw daggers in her direction.

"Nothing?" He replied slowly, not quiet sure why she was assuming he was in a bad mood.

"You've been quiet ever since I got in the car! I know when there's something wrong with you Cole Grey! Spill!" Kelly said, rolling her eyes at her best friend.

"You have been pretty quiet... and usually we have to drag you to the party, but tonight your coming willingly... it's all just a little strange," Alex added, joining in on the conversation.

"Nothing's wrong, just felt like avoiding the argument of trying to get me to come out," Cole shrugged, lying to his friends. Kelly opened her mouth to argue back and point out the fact that she knew Cole was lying but Cole look a sharp left turn, while speeding up the drive way to the house, music playing loudly in the air. The music got louder as the drove closer.

The house was huge, one of the biggest in the area, and because of this, the parties were always great. Cole quickly parked next to the other cars, Alex and Kelly wasting no time in jumping out of the car to go and join the crowd inside the house while Cole took his time, not really caring about wanting to join the crowd and instead simply just wanting a drink to wash everything down.

Numb was how he needed to feel, and it's exactly how he was going to feel.