*Notice: This poem contains mature language.

Raw emotions are raging,

tears fill my eyes, as I come alive,

just in time, to catch a glimpse of my own reflection. It's agonizing, that I don't even recognize who the hell it is, casually, staring back at my imperfections.

Frozen in time, it's like I'm hypnotized by these lies that have been slowly chipping away at my mentality, daring me, to look away from the masquerade, keep loading those grenades and not say a damn thing.

From the inside, they chew me up and try to spit me out. But, I'm too pissed off now. I can no longer remain silent. I can't turn a blind eye, once they're open, they're open wide. But what didn't take me out, still left me traumatized.

What's been building up inside of me for years is violently spilling out. I refuse to conform anymore, be quiet, brutalized and then comfortably silenced. I go against the grain, I'm no longer afraid, of pissing people off with a little, bad behavior. I live my life according to my own rules now. I don't need a fucking savior.

Take me the way I am. I'm not a science project. This is my life, hand me the scissors, I'll sharpen them, then cut you out. I've come way too far, to ever let you crawl back. Once I'm done you're gone and stay buried in my past.

Too numb from the trauma, but not too traumatized to call myself a survivor. I've made peace with my past. Pen in hand, wicked smile, I chased away my own demons.

Scars on my wrists, no blood on my hands, reminds me, I'm all too human.

I walked through hell to get here and barely made it out alive. Nothing can stop me now. I found the will to survive.

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©️ Bobbie J Lowrey 2022