《The Angry Birds Movie 2 (rewritten)》Epilogue... or cliffhanger?
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Through the faded dust and snow, the pigs and birds got up and dusted the ashes and snow off from their bodies. The force field that Aggie activated before the explosion around Bomb disappeared.
Red, Aggie, and Silver stood up before embracing one another, "We did it." Although, during the hug, Aggie still glitched but only a short second.
As she got up, Zeta went into full freak-out mode. "Debbie? Where is she?! Where's Debbie?!" she asked no one in particular. She looked around to look for Debbie, but she saw her foot under a metal plate. Zeta thought her daughter was crushed as she began to sob and kneel down. "Debbie, no." She continued to cry, then looked at her destroyed base. She realized that her scheme to take over both tropical islands cost the life of her only kin. "What have I done? Oh Debbie."
The metal began to shift. From under it, Mighty Eagle emerged with an unconscious Debbie under him when he protected her from the rubble.
"Are you okay?" Mighty Eagle gently shook his daughter, trying to wake her up. "Sweetie? Honey pie? Love of the last one minute of my life?"
Slowly, Debbie's eyes opened. "Dad?"
"Yes," Mighty Eagle answered his daughter.
Zeta gasped. Debbie was alive!
"You are so strong!" She complimented, then turned to her mother. "He saved my life!"
Zeta rushed to hug Debbie tightly. She was so happy that her daughter is safe and alive. "Oh Debbie."
Mighty Eagle watched the mother and daughter hugged as he smiled.
"Mom, can we keep him? Pleeeeaaaase?!" Debbie gave Zeta her biggest, begging smile.
Zeta looked at Mighty Eagle for a moment before she has second thoughts of giving him a chance.
"Wait, wait. Before you answer, you should see something," Under the feathers of his left, he showed her a tattoo of a heart with M.E. + Zeta on it, much to Zeta's shock. "Wait, wait, wait, there's more." Mighty Eagle pulled up the feathers, and revealed a tattoo of them in their teenage years. "And one closest to my heart!" He opened his chest feathers with another tattoo of them in their teenage years, and a ring that Zeta gave to him that was tied into a necklace around his neck. Mighty Eagle started to sing an out-of-tone song.
Everyone else cringed at Mighty Eagle's voice.
Feeling uncomfortable with Mighty Eagle's voice and had her eyeglasses cracked, Aggie pulled up a large cardboard slogan that said, "SEE-ntunado" which means "out of tune", "dissonant", "incorrect pitch", and "wrong intonation" in Tagalog.
"You are so pitiful," Zeta chuckled.
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Reuniting with her love had thawed Zeta's heart. So much so that she agreed to marry Mighty Eagle. She quickly saw how wonderful it was to be friends with the other birds and the pigs. Aggie was right. Life can be a lot better when you're living with a bunch of new unique friends. Not too long after that, Bird Island was peaceful again. Birds and pigs were living together. Happily. But they weren't the only ones...
A large crowd of birds, pigs, and eagles had gathered. Mighty Eagle has asked Red to officiate the ceremony, while he asked Aggie to plan the wedding. They had been a bit uneasy about the idea of celebrating the marriage of someone who had recently tried to obliterate Bird Island, but even they came around eventually.
Debbie looked adorable in her flower-girl dress as she threw petals on the aisle.
"Ladies and gentlemen, birds and pigs, we are gathered here today because of these two characters," Red recited as he stood in front of Mighty Eagle and Zeta. Aggie, who wa already transformed back into her bird form, was behind Zeta as her maid-of-honor. "Not only because they are being joined in holy matrimony, but also because one of them tried to destroy our islands for her own selfish reasons."
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Zeta blushed and giggled, and Mighty eagle rolled his eyes like it was no big thing.
"It's such beautiful," Chuck cried as he wiped his tears with a tissue.
"It really is," Steve the eagle, still frozen with his limbs froze in two large ice cubes, shed an icy tear.
"But," Red went on, "Mighty Eagle swooped in at the last second and got all the credit for stopping her."
"Yes you did, baby," Zeta said proudly.
"So, I think the wedding planner-slash-maid-of-honor has something to say to these two characters," Red looked down to Aggie. "Ags, do you have something to say?"
"What? Me? That was unexpected." Aggie was surprised that she has to make a speech for the bride and groom. "Why me?"
"Because you always do all the talking," Red replied.
Though Aggie wasn't ready for this and hasn't practiced any speech, but she'll just think of something. "Well, you know it. Couldn't let these two get married without me saying a little something something." Aggie reached for a full glass punch from the table, and held a mic with her other hand. "When I found out Mighty Eagle was getting married, even though that was supposed to be years ago, I was like, 'What? That's totally cray! Totally!' Not to mention that I almost died when I gave up my own life to save my friends and everyone else from death by my former friend who turned out to be evil. Talk about crazy!" She threw the glass away as a cat's screech was heard out of nowhere. Aggie continued her speech."Oh yeah. That guy knows what I'm talking about right there! Check him out! Ha, ha!"
72 hours later...
"...you should have seen the look on my third-cousin's face, wearing women's underpants and covered in bat guano!" Aggie laughed hysterically. "Those were good times."
Aggie didn't realized or probably ignored the fact that the everyone, like the audiences, and even Red, Mighty Eagle, and Zeta fell asleep during her speech. She spent three days of reciting her longest speech ever without losing her voice. She's the only one who wasn't tired of staying up in 72 hours straight. "Anyhoo, just throwing it out there that, uh, this would be the perfect time for somebody... *coughs* Red!"
Aggie's loud fake cough made everybody snap awake from their sleep.
"Sorry, excuse me." Aggie cleared her throat. "To make me stop... *cough* Red. Or anybody. *cough* 'Wrap it up' cough, Red. I'm done. I can't stop myself!"
When Red realized Aggie couldn't stop talking without anyone stopping her, he proceeded, "I now pronounce you eagle and husband. You may now kiss the-"
Zeta beat Red to the punch. Before he could get the words out, Zeta bent Mighty Eagle backward and kissed him like there was no tomorrow.
"Ugh," Red stared in disgust.
"Oh, they both disgust me!" Aggie covered her eyes with her clipboard.
Everyone cheered but looked disgust at the same time. Most of the parents of hatchlings covered their eyes.
"Alright, get it Mighty Eagle- Ew, that is disgusting," Leonard looked away.
Few others like Chuck, Bomb and Silver had their jaws dropped. Debbie is the only one cheering happily. "Go, Zeta! Go, Dad!"
Ding-ding-ding!
"Attention! Attention, everybody. Eyes on me. Look up here." Matilda tapped on her glass to get everyone's attention. "I would like to propose a toast to the bird who made all of this possible... Our hero: Red! Give it up for Red!"
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The crowd chanted Red's name as Zoe. Vivi, and Sam-Sam proclaimed. "You're our hero, Red!"
"We love you, Red!" Bomb yelled.
"Yeah, Red!" Chuck cheered.
"You're awesome!" Aggie added.
The crowd then picked up Red and sent him up on the stage.
In the back of the crowd, Red saw Silver. She saluted him, then walked away. She was carrying a backpack.
"Looks like they still love you, Red," Chuck said to him.
"Oh... Uh... Well. You know, I'm honored. everybody, really, I, uh..." Red was confused. He didn't understand where Silver was going. "Two seconds. Give me two seconds. Be right back."
"Woo! Good speech!" Bomb cheered.
"That's not actually a speech," Aggie rolled her eyes.
"Excuse me. Pardon me. I just tried to squeeze through here." Red ran through the crowd after Silver. He caught up to her just as she was loading a slingshot to fire away from the ceremony. "Hey, Silver!"
She glanced back but didn't make any motion to stay. Just as the slingshot released, Red grabbed the loop on the back of her backpack. The slingshot unfurled without shooting Silver anywhere. He took her back on the stage with her.
"Wow, I thank you, guys. Thank you for this, and for all the support and love. You know what it means. Means everything, but, uh. I don't deserve it. She does." Red admitted.
"Is that the nerd from our Physics Club?" Brad Bird remembered.
Red held Silver's wing high up in the air. "This is the real hero. Right here. Silver is the one who came up with the plan to stop the superweapon... and saved all our lives," Red told the murmuring crowd.
"Red, I didn't do this all on my own," Silver said, pulling her wing down.
"Right, 'cause we're a team. we couldn't have done anything without Chuck or Bomb or Courtney and Garry, and Leonard... Well, you know what? Actually, we could have done without Leonard. Let's be honest."
"'Leonard's the man!'" Leonard cheered himself. "I did everything. I got the sub!"
"And even Mighty Eagle!"
"That's so handsome," Zeta hugged him.
"And Aggie, who used her voice and heart to fix a broken relationship."
"Aww, shucks, that was nothing," Aggie blushed, but kept glitching as few of those in the crowd noticed.
"That was just effects of the Last Spell. That's gonna wear off soon, right?" Red asked.
"Yep. It will wear off sooner or later." She lied as she glitched again, and made a fake smile.
"And last but certainly not least, those adorable hatchlings," Red pointed Zoe, Sam-Sam and Vivi. "We're strongest when we all band together. Just like Super String." Red held up the Super String, Red motioned pig gadgetry. "Okay, Garry, now!"
There was a gigantic shroud covering Eagle Mountain. On Red's cue, Garry used his piggy drones to remove it. The crowd went wild when they saw what was there: the faces of Red, Chuck, Bomb, Aggie, Silver, Leonard, Courtney, Garry, Mighty Eagle, Zoe, Sam-Sam, and Vivi that saved their islands. The new monument was called Hero Mountain.
"Whoa, look, it's me," Leonard pointed his face on the mountain.
"Not bad," Aggie complimented.
"You see, these guys are the real heroes. They're the ones who deserve your love. Not me." Red confessed and frowned.
Both Aggie and Silver felt pity for him.
"We love more now, Red!" Alex shouted happily as the crowd roared proudly, much to Red's surprise.
"See? You're not in this alone," Silver smiled.
Within the cheering, Aggie have no cheering mood but she clapped like the rest, only to be glitching as she felt another headache. She sunk down so no one could notice something's wrong with her, and tried to control the glitch so Dark Aggie couldn't take cover to get her... or rather, their revenge on Red and Silver. Aggie has to keep herself to be positive just for Red. That's why she really love him so much. She got up and continued cheering on as she kept choking back the tears.
"I'm married now! Let's party y'all!" Zeta bubbled as Chuck popped all the champagne.
When night came, the party kept going on. Debbie enjoyably took some punch until Zeta called loudly at her.
"Debbie, get away from the punch bowl, girl! Come on in and dance with your mama!"
Debbie rushed towards her parents and hugged them tightly. While hugging their daughter, Mighty Eagle and Zeta snuggled their beaks against each other.
Everyone else is dancing to the beat of the music.
"Hey, where are Red, Silver, and Aggie?" Chuck asked when he realized his sister and two of his best friends were not around.
While the party raged below, Red, Silver, and Aggie poured a glass of champagne up at Hero Mountain.
"Thanks for inviting me with you guys. You know you don't have to do that," Aggie playfully steered her glass of champagne.
"Hey, because of your speech, the friendship one, not this one, and the song, you help Zeta realized that there's something more better than revenge to get everything she wants," Red explained.
"Yeah, I did, didn't I? But I abandoned the team. I abandoned you. I shouldn't have any prize for this. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing."
"You did the right thing of not using any violence, and used your voice and heart to save the world. It's pretty awesome," Silver commented. "You really deserve some kind of prize... spending time with your best pals." she playfully punched the bird's/human's shoulder.
"Whatever."
"Okay, worms or birdseed?" Silver paused. "Kidding. Toast."
The three birds clanged their glasses together. Aggie only spilled her champagne since she never drank any adult drinks in her life. then, she saw that her shadow became a figure of Dark Aggie with glowing red eyes and white sinister smile. Aggie panicked. She won't let Red and Silver see her or she'll hurt or kill them. Aggie threw her glass at the wall with her shadow as it shattered.
Red heard that sound turned to Aggie, "What was that?"
"What was what?" Aggie grinned sheepishly as she pretended nothing happened.
"Okay?" Red was quite suspicious, but he continued his conversation with Silver. "Ya know... I was actually being sarcastic when I said that was my favorite food. Just for the record"
"What? You? Sarcastic? No way. Maybe you can teach me sometime?"
"Yeah, maybe I will when you're not busy saving the world."
"You know I actually just finished doing that, so I am pretty free."
"Oh, no way, I'm pretty free, too."
"And you can teach me with those friendship stuff, magic skills and all, especially with that... What do you call that? The Force?" Silver said to Aggie.
"Huh, I'm pretty free myself since the universe is still in the balance, and nothing else to fix," Aggie added.
"Well, I don't have anything to do either," Chuck suddenly slipped in. "Wait a minute! What's that sound? Tickle train! Coming to friendship station!"
"Chuck! No!" Red, Silver, and Aggie said in unison.
"Jinx! Jinx! Jinx! Jinx!" the four birds laughed.
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Hey you
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life
Uh, I took a walk this mornin'
The sun was shinin' for me
It got me feelin' like oh, oh, oh, oh-ooh
The sky is lookin' so blue
So I do what I want to
I'm feelin' myself like oh, oh, oh, oh-ooh
I'm feelin' so nice
I ain't got no negative energy
High fives and good vibes
Wrote this one for all my friends
And enemies
Hey you
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
Go live it up, hey
Oh, I tell them it's my birthday
Who doesn't want that free cake?
Let's celebrate like oh, oh, oh, oh-ooh
I'm dancing in my foyer
'Cause I'm my own employer
Why don't you all come over, yeah?
I'm feelin' so nice
I ain't got no negative energy
High fives and good vibes
Wrote this one for all my friends
And enemies
Hey you
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
Go live it up
La-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la, la-la-la-la
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life (hey)
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life (yeah)
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life (oh)
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life (yeah, oh)
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
This is gonna be the best day of your life, of your life, of your life
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cast and Characters
Jason Sudeikis - Red
Josh Gad - Chuck
Danny McBride - Bomb
Suzanne Waters - Bomb's Opera Voice
Anne Hathaway - Aggie/Dark Aggie
Rachel Bloom - Silver
Peter Dinklage - Ethan "Mighty" Eagle
Leslie Jones - Zeta
Bill Hader - King Leonard
Awkwafina - Courtney
Sterling K. Brown - Garry Pig
Tiffany Haddish - Debbie
Eugenio Derbez - Glenn
Beck Bennett - Hank, Brad
Zach Woods - Carl Eagle
Pete Davidson - Jerry Eagle
Lil Rel Howery - Alex
Dove Cameron - Ella
Nicki Minaj - Pinky
Brooklynn Prince - Zoe
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