As my aunt finishes writing a document on her laptop, I sat in her office in quiet. Being back at school has made my head feel heavy, and the hall's boisterous students' conversations have only made me feel more worn out than I did when I was at the hospital.

I yawned and sighed to myself as I looked off into the distance after growing tired of the clock's plodding movement that seemed to be nearly keeping me, hostage, in time. My aunt's laptop almost made me jump out of my seat, and when I turned to look at her, she was staring at me. We exchanged a brief moment of stillness before she started speaking.

"So, how's the situation of your mom? Is she getting better any time soon?" Kendra asks as she tilts her head to the side while resting her arms on the armrests of her office chair.

I nodded, "Thankfully, she is," I said. "Dr. Fhassan said that we can take her home next week and she can continue resting at home, as long as she continues taking her medicine."

"That's good," Kendra nods her head at the thought of it, "And your father?"

I stared at her for a moment before I responded, "He's good, too." I said briefly as there was nothing much to say about his progress because I cared less about him.

My aunt notices the expression on my face, points it out, and says, "You always seemed uncomfortable talking about him."

I find myself chuckling bitterly to myself, "With a father like that, who wouldn't? Especially for what he did," I said as I muttered the last part to myself.

"You still won't forgive your father or you just find it hard to forgive him?"

She and I both felt the same feelings towards him, so I know that she understands how much I hated him for what he had done. Though, she seemed to be taking dad's health issues and the topic of him in our conversation in a much lighter and approachable manner, which was new to me.

"Have you?" I asked.

She shakes her head, smirking, "You don't get to ask me a question when I'm asking you a question."

I shrugged as I faintly blow a raspberry, "I don't know."

"Well, if I were being honest with you, I never hated Christopher," she said, making me confused and quite shocked.

Were we never really on the same page as I thought we were?

"I could never hate him because he made Sarah happy. You should know that he helped me when I was struggling before. And, how could I hate him if he constantly tries to make amends with you, even though what he did broke you so much that it also broke your mom much more?"

I felt curious about what she was saying about mom that I found myself asking her to clarify the last bits.

"We're all aware that your mom was hurt by the fact he left a few times and went back as if nothing had happened," She says then continues, "But your mom was more broken knowing that you grew a strong hatred towards your father, especially knowing that you're very close with him."

I scoffed, "Used to."

"You used to be very close with him. You always searched for him; don't you remember? You cried the first time he left you in kindergarten and said that you won't forgive him unless he'd come to pick you up an hour early and treat you to some ice cream."

I felt myself scowling at the earliest memories I had with dad. Having to remember them made me want to forget about them even more.

"You know, your mom said that if she were to die, her only wish is for you to finally forgive your father," Kendra says, smiling almost weakly at me, "Because we all have, except for you."

I didn't expect to have this kind of conversation with my aunt about dad. I assumed that my mom was the only one who would try to start a conversation with me about him just and make me feel worse by the end of it, as it usually goes.

Though, as hard as it was to believe, I find myself taking all of it into actual consideration.

"I'm not saying all of this to convince you to forgive him already. I simply want you to know that you have all the time you need to find the courage inside yourself to forgive him—to shift your focus on the things he has improved and offered rather than being fixated on the things he lacked and did horribly as the person he was then."

And now, I felt my tensed muscles finally relaxing at the idea of dad with hopes that someday, if I ever find myself offering him the gift of forgiveness, I wouldn't regret it.

❀

I kept it in mind to send Lauren a text message about meeting her for lunch today as I hurried to my locker to collect my book for the coming class. I haven't seen her since the day I left so suddenly without telling her why. At this time, I wouldn't be surprised if she was or is still angry with me for being unable to answer her calls or respond to her texts.

"Aaren," I heard a familiar voice behind my back and when I turned around, I saw my aunt again.

My aunt is looking at me bewilderedly while wearing a slight smile on her face, as she notices my smile quickly transforming into a scowl when I see her instead of someone else.

"I forgot to remind you that I already told your English teacher, Ms. Romeo, that you were busy taking care of your parents at the hospital because she told me that she was quite concerned when you weren't showing up to her classes," she says as she hands me a piece of paper.

I accepted it without even looking as she speaks, "You can give her that excuse letter which I signed after I wrote down the reason on your behalf," she then continues, "She also reminded me to tell you that you don't have to put too much pressure on yourself about your final project because you and Lauren will be the last students to perform."

"And when is that?" I asked. "The performance?"

"Next week, Friday," She says, "I hope you're able to catch up with your other requirements for your other subjects. Though, if you're overwhelmed, just let me know."

She pats my back and I nodded my head, "Thanks," I said as I swing my bag in front of me, shoving the excuse letter she gave me inside my bag.

"By the way, how are things with Lauren?" She asks another question making me look at her in confusion, "Any progress or changes with her behavior?"

I shake my head, "I haven't seen her much since mom was hospitalized."

Kendra nods her head, "Alright, I'm just quite concerned," she says, "Though, I hope you keep me updated, at least, now that she has considered you as her friend," she added as she pats my back again before walking off.

"Oh," she turns her head around while walking on the same direction I walked off to earlier, "Don't forget to tell my favorite nephew, your brother, to come by our house for dinner!"

I rolled my eyes, "That also includes you!" she added, making me smile.

I closed my locker and jumped when someone called my name, again. Seeing her face again as I turned around gave me a boost of energy, but as soon as I saw her disappointed countenance, my heart began to sink.

"Ms. Wilson," She says softly, "S-She's your aunt?" She asks, her voice suddenly becoming small and cracked.

I took her hand in mine and held it, "I-I can explain..."

She took her other hand and removed my hand from hers, gently, as she ignores my gaze for a second.

Lauren shakes her head, tilting it up to meet me in the eyes as she smiles weakly at me, "You know, I was confused about whether I should be excited or upset if I ever see you today, but I never thought that it would turn out to be a disappointing feeling."

"I can explain that—"

Her eyes started to form a pool of hurt, one I was aware that I caused, "I don't think I can bear hearing you speak for now or even for a while."

She closed her eyes, shaking her head once more, "I just can't believe I believed in you."

"Lauren—"

"I can't believe that I believed you were genuine," she continues to cut me off, "And I honestly cannot believe that you would be the person who would make me want to regret whatever we have shared."

"I'm sorry—"

"You must've mocked my vulnerability the way others did behind my back," She says as she completely ignores my gaze, "I knew it was silly to believe in the thought of you being different."

I feel like I'm shrinking as I watch her leave and as I stand with my two feet firmly planted in the ground, my mind immediately went blank in those few seconds of watching her disappear like that. All I want to think about is to wait for the ground to swallow me up and burn me in the same way Lauren burned with disappointment.