I was tired. Just damn tired. Of work, Diana and Nonna. I was on my way home from work. Staring at the buildings as we zoomed by and listening to Paco lightly humming. Sitting in the back seat of my Rolls Royce with Paco at the driver's seat taking me to Hell's kitchen. Why?, you may ask. Well not only had Diana and my grandmother become the best of friends, my grandmother now openly blamed me for our separation. She never failed to let show her anger at the fact that (in her words), ' I let a gift from the heavens go '. And you know what?, IT WAS FUCKING INFURIATING!!. She had so easily jumped to the conclusion that whatever happened between Diana and I was entirely my fault, taking her side and becoming her greatest confidante. No one cared about what I went through when she abandoned me. She had successfully fooled my Nonna and it just fueled the already burning hate I felt for her.

Hate Alejandro?, my subconscious questioned me. Are you sure?

" Oh shut up", I loudly growled

"Oh sorry Sir. I didn't know I was bothering you", Paco answered looking very scared.

"Oh no Paco I wasn't talking to you, I was just...", talking to myself. Not crazy at all Alejandro, not crazy at all. "Never mind", I told him.

"We're here Sir", he told me.

I nodded and turned towards the house. Here goes nothing. I walked up the stairs and into my mansion of a home. I expected to be met with Nonna's hateful glares, or Benjy's high pitched squealing, or Diana's mesmerizing...

Shut up!

But instead, I was met with silence. I walked into the kitchen only to find Gertie, my homey housekeeper. She was like those old ladies who made you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

"Oh hello Sir. I'll have dinner ready in few so you can go freshen up and come down", she gleefully said.

Oh Gertie, ever resourceful.

"That would be fine",I was about to walk out when I stopped and turned back to her. She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something, "Where did my Grandmother and Diana go?"

"Your wife Sir?",I flinched when she said wife. "Oh I think they said they were going to the mall and they took Benjamin along"

I gruffly muttered a thank you and stalked to my bedroom. I was beyond pissed. You may think I didn't have a legitimate reason to be mad but I was.

Diana was out there playing the victim while I was blamed for something she did without even a second thought. I could've given her the world if she wanted it, my life, anything she asked for, I would've given her or died trying. From the day I met her, I worked my ass off. Early mornings, late nights, just to prove to her that I was as worthy of her as those phony, preppy rich assholes her dad made her have dinner with every night. I would've given her anything and everything. And I did. My body, heart, soul... she had it all and she didn't even ask, but it wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough.

I wanted to go into the shower and wash my self pity away but was interrupted when the door was pushed open and Diana walked in.

"Oh hey. I didn't know you were back. Nonna, Benjy and I went over to the mall...", she said

I didn't pay attention to anything leaving those luscious lips. I just stared at her while she ranted. As if wishing I could stare into her soul and see a reason for the greatest heartbreak I had ever suffered. Nothing.

I tried to keep calm. I really did, but those jeans that hugged her ass in just the right way coupled with her lips and the memories I would much rather forget, really did the trick and BOOM!!. There it was. Anger. Rearing it's big, ugly, red head all over again. Then...

I snapped.

"Who the hell do you think you are?", I questioned loudly. She stopped talking and looked at me."You may have fooled my Nonna one more time but I'm not falling for your tricks again".

"I don't know what you're talking about Alejandro", she said

"Don't fucking play innocent with me",I yelled,"After everything you've put me through, you're gonna come here and act like the one who was hurt?, you've even got my own grandmother on your side blaming me for what you did!", I was full on yelling now,"Valeria was right, you're nothing but a gold digging bitch",I spat. And Nonna decided that was the best time to barge in.

"What is going on here Alejandro?, Dio mio, I heard you all the way from the pool house?",she questioned and then turned towards Diana and saw her tearstained cheeks,"Diana darling, what's wrong with you?,why are you crying?", and then she turned to me," Mierda, Alejandro, what did you do this time?"

"Me?!", I questioned in disbelief

"Yes you!", she yelled right back

I scoffed," You think this is my fault too?", I asked her. To be honest I was hurt. Hurt that my Nonna had such little faith in me and all because of the girl who had been silent since my grandmother came in.

"Of course it is. All you've ever done is hurt the poor girl"

If I was mad before, now I was livid.

"Me hurting her?!,me hurting her?!", I bellowed," I'm the one who was hurt, I'm the one who was left behind. That girl you're so blatantly defending left me for another man. Just because I wasn't rich enough. She told me we couldn't be together because I couldn't give her the life she wanted. I wasn't the one who did the hurting Nonna, oh far from it, I'm the one who was hurt"

Silence. It's like we were all in one intense staring match. Me staring at Nonna, Nonna staring at Diana and Diana staring at me.

"Is this true Diana?",Nonna asked so softly I was almost a whisper,"Is Alejandro speaking the truth my dear?"

She looked between Nonna and I and her tears flowed even more. When I thought she was going to speak, she did the unimaginable.

She ran.

Then Nonna turned to me. She raised her hand. I thought she was going to comfort so you can imagine my surprise when she smacked me hard across the jaw.

"Santo cazzo Nonna!. Stai cercando di spezzarmi la mascella?" ( Holy fuck Nonna, are you trying to break my jaw?)

"Sta'zitto" (shut up), she bellowed, "How could you do that to the poor girl Ale?, that is not how I raised you"

"Seriously Nonna?, after everything you've just heard you're still taking her side?,I'm you're fucking grandson and she's just the woman I married and you're taking her side?, unbelievable", I yelled

"Is everything you said true Nipote?", she asked

"Sì Nonna"(Yes Nonna),I replied

"But... Alejandro why didn't you tell me?",she asked dejectedly

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. Why didn't I tell my Nonna?,she was the closest family I had and I hadn't told her, I hadn't told anyone. Valeria finding out was a huge mistake on my part. "I don't know Nonna. I guess it was easier for me to deal with it thinking I was the one on the wrong, the pain became easier to handle"

Tears pooled in her eyes," Oh tesoro, mi dispiace molto.(oh sweetheart, I am so sorry)"

"It's Ok Nonna it's not your fault. You're not the one who hurt me", I replied sadly

"Nipote, I know you're going to be mad about this but sweetheart, I just don't believe Diana could do that", I was about to blow up when she put a finger to my mouth and cut me off, "Before you blow up, listen to me. That girl loved you Ale, she was willing to turn her back on her family just for you, she spent her weekends with me learning how to cook lasagna to impress you. She even tried to learn Italian cara(dear)"

"She told me I was just a fling Nonna, that I didn't mean anything to her"

"No one goes through that much trouble for just a fling Alejandro"

I sighed,"She said she hated me Nonna. She looked me square in the eyes and said...'I hate you' "

She looked at me, really looked at me. Then she hugged me.

"I know you're hurting tesoro",she began, "But remember... there is always some love behind 'I hate you' "

She then turned and left my mind reeling.

'There is always some love behind I hate you'

*************************

Today had started out great. Really great. Alejandro had transferred Benjy from the public school to the prestigious Acts of the Apostles private academy. Apparently now that I was married to him and Benjy was technically his son we had automatically had targets placed on our backs. So according to him it was much safer for Benjy to attend a private school. The transfer had to take a few days so Benjy, lucky for him, had a few days if freedom. He had begged incessantly for hours to go to the park, so I gave in and of course, Nonna came along. When we returned and I saw Paco in the kitchen, I knew he had come home. To be honest I had been dreading seeing him. For some reason, ever since Nonna came he had been unnecessarily cold towards me, not like it was a rare occurrence but it's like his 'King of the assholes' meter went haywire, it actually bothered me and I often found myself wondering why his hate for me seems to have amplified in the past few days.

I got my answer. And in the worst way possible. Oh God. I never wanted Nonna to find out the real circumstances behind our marriage, at least not like this. I never wanted to run out, but between Alejandro's intense glares and Nonna's pleading eyes I did the only sensible thing I could. I just couldn't bear to look at Nonna anymore. The way she looked at me, almost as if begging me to tell her that the things leaving her gorgeous grandson's mouth were all lies and I couldn't so I ran out of the house and into the green house. I'd been sitting there for quite a while, admiring the lush green plants and the vividly coloured flowers. Gosh, even they had it better than me.

I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't the person sitting next to me until I heard the heavy sigh. I turned and looked into Nonna's gorgeous brown eyes.

"You know I used to blame him for so long, still do. And now that I know I've been blaming the wrong person all this time...I don't know what to do", she said

"I know you hate me right now Nonna and believe me you have every right but-"

"I don't hate you Diana", she stated

"But you heard-"

"Yes I heard what he said and I believe him but I know you Diana and I know you wouldn't have done that without good reason. You loved him too much, still do, to hurt him like that, to hurt yourself like that"

"Oh Nonna", I fell into her lap and cried. Cried for my son, my messed up life and my broken heart, "He hates me Nonna"

"Oh sweetheart, he doesn't hate you. He's just angry and his obviously immature mind has confused that for hate"

"So you're not mad at me?",I questioned tentatively

"No, well...maybe a little. But I will stop if you do me one little favor"

"Anything Nonna", I replied

"Don't give up on him just yet okay. I know he's a pain and he's trying so hard to hurt you but just be patient with him, please don't give up on him"

I looked up at her and smiled, "Wouldn't even dream of it"

**************************