Me: OBJECTION! OBJECTION YOUR HONOR, I OBJECT TO THIS FARCE OF A TRIAL!

King: 😠what is the meaning of this?!

Me: your majesty, heroes, nobles, knights, I was not invited to this court session despite me being a lawyer in training and a hero. I come as both today and I am here to demand that you give my client a fair trial and a chance to defend himself with my aid! Not just in front of nobles, but in front of the peasants as well. Since this is the trial of a hero and it concerns the country as a whole, I see no reason why only nobles and the other heroes should bear witness. Whether he's innocent or not is up to the people of the country based on evidence yes, but my client was dragged through the streets and not even given the right to defend himself. To me it looks like there's something wrong with the court system for such action to be taken against anyone levalone someone you expect to save your world.

King: he's a devil! He doesn't deserve any sympathy!

M: that's right he raped Mein!

R: have you lost your mind Alyss?

I: Where's your sense of justice!?

Me: Where's MY sense of justice?! Where's yours and your balls?! I know we come from different worlds but I find it hard to believe that your world's are so behind in the times that this, THIS counts as a trial. And even if that WAS the case, I am a god DAMN lawyer! My job is to win justice for my client! My job is to make sure that the innocent are judged as such and the truth comes to light. To those who are wrongly accused we lawyers can be the greatest hero, or the most terrifying villain. I have nothing to lose from protecting someone I see as a comrade in arms, especially when everyone's against them! You damn popular pretty boys would never understand how painful it is to try your best to be a good person, but always end up being hated ostracized. You'd never understand that feeling of betrayal of the person you based your heart to, that take you for granted and drag you through the mud. I do. I know what naofumis feeling and I know how that ends! You can either be strong and get revenge... or you can be a coward like me and succumb to despair, and take your life. I've been betrayed so many times that I DESPISE women. We are snakes, tricky and with a silver tounge. The best of us, who are also the worst, string the innocent and powerless along only to shove their face in shit. I will not let either happen today! Regardless of whether or not he DID rape mein, all you have is the account of the victim. And that doesn't hold up well in a court of law without evidence. So for everyone here to just say he's a rapist without performing the proper tests, that can be seen as corruption on the end of the government no?

Kings Advisor: she is not incorrect your majesty. When word gets out to the people and the other countries, there will undoubtedly be unrest, strained relations, and even a high chance of war.

King:.... what would you have me do then mage hero?

Me: with your majesty's permission, we should do things properly! The trial has already started it seems and you've gathered many as the jury, as have I! I have taken the time to gather my evidence and will present them before the court. I ask that a physical examination be performed on the victim to make sure that she was indeed raped. And if she WAS then the exam is a definite must because of the issues that it may cause her health.

King: ISSUES?!😲 WHAT KIND OF ISSUES?! SPEAK!

Me: well your majesty I'm not sure if they exist in this world, and I'd be surprised if they didn't, in our world's sex comes with several risks. Pregnancy is the main one but there are also a plethora of diseases and infections that can be transmitted through sex, we call them STDS.

king:🙁 stds?

Me: yes your majesty. It's an acronym that stands for sexually transmitted disease's. All of them are harmful and most are very painful. some cause a very slow and agonizing death. others cause serious permenant damage which can lead to problems like being unable to carry or give birth to children, being unable to orgasm, loss of feeling in the nethers or permanent damage to reproductive organs. That last one means that you'll be sterile, I won't go into serious detail but if your a male you won't be able to impregnate a women and if your a women your "eggs", which are what children come from, will die which means the woman can never have a child of their own.

Several nobleman pale and even the woman faint. Ren nods and affirms that I am correct when motopedo calls me a liar, which causes itsuki to look impressed, the king and motopedo to pale and look dead, noble ladies to faint, and Mein to look like she was gonna die of fright. That last one made me laugh. As for naofumi, he was silent for a while no- oh that's why. Grimm was giving him clothes and a quick rundown. He's staring at me with shock and awe. I smile reassuringly at him.

Me: there's also the troubles that come with rape. As you're all aware it's just violent unconsensual sex, but rape is more damaging than sex can be. If there is a struggle there's a serious chance of vaginal tearing not to mention physical damage not caused by STDS. And aside from physical damage psychological and social damage is to be considered as well.

King: Explain.

Me: your majesty, anyone with a brain can tell you rape leaves a scar that'll last forever. Many victims have reported having nightmares, hallucinations, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts and tendencies, and some have even killed themselves if no one was there and able to stop it. There are doctors that specialize in the healing of the mind in my world, and they not only talk with them every week or day to help them get over the trauma, but they prescribed medication to stop those things from happening. The sleeping meds got rid of nightmares, there was medicine to make hallucinations go away, even medicine to help the state of mind. I don't know if you have such doctors here, but a Please have a doctor you trust with your family's life that is skilled and honest to come examine the victim physically and mentally. Right away please.

King: Where's the head doctor?

Kings Advisor: Mrs Whiteman is on vacation.

King: no not that one! The one that does the physical exams on my darlings. Mrs Warren

Mrs W: Right here. I was told what happened to the princess, she's been raped? I'll make sure she's okay.

MRI: PRINCESS?!

Everyone is now staring at Mein and muttering. "The exalted princess?" "No way! That girl is at it again?" "How disgraceful." "She just doesn't learn!" And other such things were thrown around while the boys listened confused and Mein looked angrily at the ground.

King: 😡SILENCE! Mrs Warren who told you the princess was raped?

Mrs W: no one told me. I just heard someone was raped and came to look. I've treated the girls since they were babies your majesty, she can change her name and hair style but I know what Malty Melromarc looks like. Not to mention, you'd never kick up such a fuss over an accusation without a thorough investigation unless it was your daughter Malty.

King: 😧 yes indeed. Do you think you could examine her for the things the hero mentioned? I'd be troubled if she had anything wrong with her.

Mrs W: yeah. Come on Malty-sama.

Malty: no!😳 I refuse!

M: you heard her! The answers no! He's guilty anyway so just convict him!

Me: really? This looks even more suspicious now. From the way people were reacting to malty, not only does she seem to have a bad reputation but I heard implications of her doing things like this before. Besides that it's in her best interest motoyasu! If she was raped and she's unchecked and untreated, she could have serious health problems down the line. If you really care about her safety, shouldn't you be encouraging her to get treated rather than risk her health and reputation by being stubborn?

R: she has a point motoyasu. As much as I hate to admit it, the reaction of the people makes me question her character. Besides that, she needs treatment for her injuries if she was raped. Plus this would be definite proof of whether she was raped or not, rape kits have always been key in rape cases after all.

M: are you saying Mein is a liar!?

I: no. He's saying that the public's opinion of Mrs is unlikely to be something that happened overnight. Meaning that she doesn't have the best reputation with the people and it will look even worse for her and you by extension for denying something like a physical exam. It's not only the best way to prove she was raped, but the best possible type of evidence. By refusing it just makes it look like she's lying and Alyss is right. I also heard a few people say stuff that implied she's done this in the past. I think it's best for everyone if she got examined. It's the easiest way to find out the truth, get the most solid evidence and dispel any bad rumors about her that may arise.

Me: well put itsuki. Besides if she is indeed the princess, and that has practically been confirmed cause who would dare pose as a princess in front of the king, there are serious political problems that could come from the mere mention of Malty being raped or accusing someone of rape falsely. Being raped may be easier to soothe over but if she wasn't and she was framing a hero.... this country would be done for if nothing was done to rectify it.

Mrs W: indeed. Well then let's go lady Malty.

Malty: NO!

Mrs W: your majesty? Permission to save us all the trouble and put her to sleep till the exam is completed?

King: I'd rather not but this examination is indeed for the best.... granted.

Mrs W:

Me: for the love of god, would you, SHUT THE FUCK UP! fucks sake dude he was giving me a headache... now then, may I ask what evidence you have against the shield hero aside from the testimony?

King: we had the guards search the room. they should be back at any moment...

Guard:

King: what news have you?

Guard: we tore the whole place apart your majesty and found.... nothing. No signs of a struggle, no signs of any sexual activity, not even a piece of clothing. It looked like the bed had been slept in and the chair moved but no other signs of any activity.

King: what?! Are you sure!?

Guard: yes your highness. We checked to see if anyone had cleaned it up but there was no such evidence. No one went in or out between the time we took the shield and the time we went to check. The guards that were keeping watch were in there the whole time interrogating the innkeeper and checking for any obvious evidence. A thorough examination of the scene showed nothing relating to any rape or clean up.

Guard B: your highness, when I interrogated the innkeeper she said herself that she did not see or hear any signs of a struggle. She stays up late into the morning cleaning and preparing for the next day. I had a guard look for the owner because she was a key witness and she refused to come unless someone could cover for her. They are might be on the way as we speak.

King: good good... do you have anything to add?

Me: yes your honor. I have proof that he didn't do it right here. I had my phone on me when I came. And on it I have an app to take pictures and watch anime. After it was accidentally absorbed by my staff I was worried I wouldn't be able to utilize it. However, the result was far greater then I could've imagined!

Ren: what do you mean? What happened?

Me: my staff became a phone so to speak. A little probing showed that I could use the internet and read my manga, which is good for my weebecy. I read alot of isekai manga and the staff absorbed it and analysed it like a super computer. It was not only able to copy, mimic, and improve the functions my phone had, but it also learned spells and magics from my isekai collection and media. Whenever I was like "man that's cool!" Or "that skill would be useful!" The staff dinged and notified me of a new skill based on the one I was talking about. It also did the same with things I imagined in my head! It was... disturbing. And I still can't figure out HOW it does this.

I: that's... THAT'S CHEATING!

R: that's definetly a broken weapon.

M:

Me: believe me when I say, my thoughts exactly. When I realized just what was going on I immediately wanted to die. I game a lot and I've come across players who pay to win, and use illegal bots to farm xp and are just genuinely cheating fucktards. I've always hated those people and as a religious player of the famous final fantasy series which is known for all of its secret OP magic that you gotta jump through flaming spiked hoops to get and dungeons you need to grind your ass off just to get through one wave levalone the whole thing, I was livid. I play ffxiv which is a mmo with 3 starting continents plus a Cassino continent, and 9 starting classes to choose from plus the 11 non combatant classes which are crafting and gathering classes, and the others that come out with each expansion which is at least 3 (one per combat type) and the fact that there is 2 complete expansions and a forth storyline has been added on the way. It's an open world rpg and I want to max out all the classes which is hard and tedious work at times but it's the hard work that makes it so satisfying in the end! Thankfully the damn staff heard my complaints and nerfed it. So now only basic skills are unlocked while the rest are there with a level requirement. I can't use them till I reach that level like how it is in most of the games i've played so that helps a little right?

I: I suppose that's fine.

R: makes sense to me. That's how it generally was for me as well.

M:

Me: well anyway that doesn't count for the household magic. They're all unlocked and capped which is good cause I HATE cleaning. Anyways we're getting off topic. Here's the deal, in my world there's this anime called otherwise known as the rising of the shield hero. It's about a, "man whose summoned to save a world but finds that his isekai adventure dream is actually a shitty nightmare. Watch as the shield hero, now hailed as a devil by the people he's meant to protect, rises up to become the strongest of them all. But will his newfound power born of hatred and betrayal be his saving Grace, or will it be his ultimate downfall?" It's a shitty synopsis I know but I made it up myself having watched the show and read the manga and novel. As I'm sure you may have guessed, the story is about this world. I watched this show and I hated every second of it. It was almost as bad as Re: zero tbh. It had no representation for the magic class, everyone was an asshole, and the throughout the story all the heroes do is cause problems which the shield has to clean up. And he never gets so much as a thank you from anyone but the villagers he helps. I hated it. I still do. I wanted to kill the person who wrote this train wreck of a story, or at least rewrite it myself. So as my 1st piece of evidence I present the first episodes of the show to you. I had the staff translate it so you guys who don't know Japanese could understand it. I won't be answering shit about the plot, just take it on the chin and MAYBE I'll explain a LITTLE. Now then, staff if you would be so kind as to start the show?