You pull your cloak over your shoulders, taking a deep breath. Leaning over the control panel of your ship, your fingers fly across the rows of buttons. The soft rumble from the engines slowly dies away as the ship shuts down. With a soft hiss, the rear hatch falls open and allows you to step out.

The chill from the planet air kisses your skin, spreading goosebumps over your body beneath your thin robes. You shiver and pull the hood of your cloak over your head. Cold ocean water sprays into the air as the choppy waters slam into the jagged rocks peeking out of the waves. Gray clouds swirl around in the sky, hiding the timid sun. A storm was approaching, but it was nothing you couldn't manage.

As you climb over the rocks, you are careful of your footing and grip tightly onto any crevices that would aid your climb. It had been a year since that fatal day of the Supremacy's explosion. By now, it was likely that the remainders of the ship had crashed down on a planet. That was exactly what you had been doing since then. Searching. You had no idea if you were going to find it or what you were even going to do once you did, but you never gave up hope.

Perhaps all you really wanted was closure. Just seeing the ship that you had spent so long on would be enough to heal the wounds of the past that were beginning to close. Or so you hoped. The memory of the ship was still burned into your mind. Every night you would close your eyes and try to map out its halls, corridors, and rooms. If you were to find it, you wanted to know exactly what you were walking into.

You had so many memories from that cursed ship. Memories of the Knights of Ren and taking down Snoke. Of arguing and commanding or even just walking through the halls to enjoy it. As much as you thought you despised it back then, it was something you missed now. Those weren't the only memories burned into your mind. You also had memories of a certain someone.

Kylo.

His eyes were the first thing you thought of when you imagined him. Then came his nose, his lips, and his hair. The rest of him formed last, but you knew every inch of his body like it was the back of your hand. Every beauty mark and freckle was in its rightful place when you imagined him. Just like how it was supposed to be. The two of you had spent so many nights just memorizing and mapping out each other's bodies. Whether that be after a long night of passion or just laying together. It was those little moments that stood out the most to you.

"I'll see you again."

"Just wait for me."

You had waited. You waited for months until you realized that he wasn't coming back. It was then that you stopped wasting time on tears and you lived. Although your days were filled with obsessively trying to track down the Supremacy and flying from planet to planet, it was something that you truly wanted to do. Even if all you found was small pieces of metal and ash, it was worth it.

With a sharp huff, you hoist yourself up onto the jagged rock. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of it. Finally. After all this time. Tears fill your eyes, but you furiously blink them back. This wasn't a time for crying. This was a time of burying the past and allowing it to bloom. It was time for your old wounds to heal once and for all.

The Supremacy was in pieces, but it was still more put-together than you had expected. At least a quarter of it was laying in one giant piece. It was bent, twisted, and covered in holes, but there was no denying that that was the ship. Some of it was submerged in the black waters, but the rest was jutted up on the pointed rocks. You crane your neck as you cautiously climb towards it. It was so big that it cast an enormous shadow over you. You had never felt so small before.

Birds circled over the top and sat perched in its twisted limbs. Most of the metal was starting to rust and erode. It groans and creaks softly in the light breeze. That was unsettling, but you convinced yourself that it wasn't going to come down anytime soon. As you approach the molten metal, you slowly reach out.

Your fingertips graze the cold side, sending another round of chills up your spine. It made your heart beat faster and your palms go clammy. As you walk along the side, you search for an opening in the metal that you could squeeze through. It was so dark inside, but there were beams of light coming through the cracks. You brace your feet against the rocks and grab onto the twisted material, hoisting yourself inside with a soft grunt.

As your feet hit the ground, they come down with a dull thunk. The sound resonates through the empty ship. You move carefully, testing out the floor to make sure that it wouldn't give out beneath your feet. Exploring the inside was an experience unlike any other. Thin rays of light poke through the holes, casting shadows and throwing beams around carelessly. You lift your hand to shield your eyes as you gaze up. The entire ship was laying at an angle, which made it quite difficult to tell what was up and down. Moisture and rain water collecting on the top of the metal drips down and soaks your cloak with small spots. They hit the metal walls rhythmically, filling the silence with a soft plinking sound.

You take a moment to pause and close your eyes as you try to remember what you had been memorizing for so long. When your eyes open, you lean against the wall and trace your hand along the cold metal, searching for any markings or indications of where you were. You come to a sudden halt when your fingertips connect with something. It was a small sign that read 3C. Your eyes light up with recognition. This hall was filled with conference rooms. Surely from here you could find your way around.

Climbing through the remains proved to be a more difficult task than you first assumed. Some parts were bent so awkwardly, that rooms were overturned or what was once floor was now ceiling. Some parts of the ship sat normally so you could only hope that what you were searching for was alright.

Your arms ache as you pull yourself up the twisted hallway by the jagged metal pieces of the crooked wall. With a heavy sigh, you flop onto your back when you reach the top. Your entire body was begging for a break, but you couldn't stop now. Not when you were so close. The floor creaks beneath your feet as you approach the next corridor. You grip tightly onto the wall as though the ground would give out at any second. As the familiar door comes into view, your heart nearly stops.

As you pass by the panel, your heart sinks at the sight of it shattered and bent out of place. You bite your lip and step closer to the door, slipping your fingers into the little crack. With a grunt, you try to pull it upwards. Just as you thought, you had no such luck. A deep frown crosses your face as you take a deep breath and extend your hand, concentrating on the door. With a loud thunk, it unlocks and slides up. Pleased with yourself, you duck into the room.

Only to freeze up immediately. A sick feeling washes over you and you quickly turn away. A horrible thought had just crossed your mind. What if Kylo had come here to die? To lie in your shared bed one last time. If you came across his body, you wouldn't be able to bear it. Just the thought of it made you physically sick. You swallow as your throat swells and you slowly turn around, forcing yourself to go on. You lick your lips dryly, eyes roaming over the belongings that had been overturned and destroyed.

The mattress and sheets on the metal bed frame were burnt to a crisp. Ash covers the slick ground upon which you walk. The walls were badly dented and bent, but that was nothing compared to the rest of the ship. Your mouth dries up as you approach the small door that had led to your closet. The door itself had been ripped from its hinges and was lying on the ground. You step over it and peer inside, getting dizzy at the sight of your clothes. Some of them were destroyed and others appeared almost untouched.

Quickly turning away from the closet, you approach the desk Kylo never really let you go near. You had never seen him at it, but he was always so defensive about it. Even though he wasn't here, it still felt wrong to go through the contents. Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the sight of messy stacks of paper. Calligraphy. Dozens of sheets of writing all in Kylo's looping handwriting. Tears prick your eyes and your hands begin to shake as you go through them. They reminded you of Ben. He used to write so much that he always ran out of parchment. A lot of them had been ruined by flame or by water, but some had survived. You sniffle and fold them before neatly tucking them into the small bag you had brought along with you.

There was one last thing you wanted to see before you moved on from this room. You cross the messy quarters. The door you were keeping your eyes trained on was open which was an unusual sight to see. Before all of this, Kylo always kept that door closed. He didn't like anyone going inside. You went in on occasion but it was quick and you were never alone. You wince at the sight of the pedestal tipped over. Your heart sinks when you see the scattered pieces of Darth Vader's mask laying on the ground. It was disappointing to know that something that was so dear to Kylo was just shattered. Not wanting it to go to waste, you bend down and scoop a few pieces up. They join the papers in the confines of your bag.

One thing was for certain; you couldn't spend any more time in here. It was time for one last thing before you left it all behind for good. For some reason, the walk to the throne room was so much eerier than the walk you had taken to Kylo's quarters. It was as though thousands of spirits were watching you make the journey. The hair on the back of your neck stands up and you shudder. You despised the feeling of being watched. The idea of someone being in the remains with you was enough to make you want to leave. But that was not an option. You were here now and you were committed to finishing your task.

As you walk through the familiar but misshapen corridors, you swore that you could hear the clomping of Stormtrooper armor. The distant hum of conversation and even the smug voice of General Hux. Although you hated to admit it, you missed them all. It was a shame to see this place become deformed and crumpled.

You turn the corner that would take you up to the elevator shaft and suddenly come to a screeching halt. A gasp escapes your lips and you quickly grab onto the jagged wall.

"No..." you sink down to your knees, peering over the edge and tightly gripping the cold floor.

The entire portion of the ship had broken off and was now laying nearly horizontally. The corridor had spit you out right on the edge. Your hopes are shattered now as you gaze out over the waves in the distance. There had to be a way down there. It was the very last place you so desperately wanted to visit. You spy a broken beam leading down to the rocks. If you could climb down, that there would be a way to cross the rocks and then climb back up on the other side.

You carefully lower yourself onto the beam, gripping the bent pieces tightly. It was slippery and if you fell, it wouldn't be too pretty. As your feet hit the rocks, you allow yourself to take a few breaths. You tug the hood of your cloak further down as the wind picks up a little. The cloak snaps at your ankles and billows around you as you climb back up the jagged pieces on the other side.

With a low huff, you pull yourself up and quickly grab onto the wall as the floor shifts. Technically speaking you were walking on the wall and the floor was what you were holding onto now. You scoot cautiously along the side, keeping your eyes locked on the black mound ahead of you. As you reach it, you extend your fingers and gently graze the armrest of the throne that had fallen.

You close your eyes to picture Kylo sitting on it in his dark robes. He would look at you so pridefully when you came to see him. You missed it. You missed him. The tears that had been gathering in your eyes finally break free as you let everything go. You fall to your knees and clasp your hand over your mouth, sobbing into your palm to muffle them. What was the point of bottling them up? These emotions were something that deserved to be freed.

As you lower your hand, a wail escapes your lips. Your stomach begins to ache from crying so hard. Hot tears stream down your face as you wrap your arms around yourself. It wasn't a cry one would normally see or hear. It wasn't pretty or quiet. It was ugly, raw, and full of untamed emotions. The sound of your screams and bawling ring out over the remains of the Supremacy. Kylo's name is torn from your lungs over and over again. You scream for help as though doing that would make him come running back to save you. The wild ocean that had been peaceful now batters against the sides of the metal but even that was drowned out by your wails. You weren't in pain but at the same time you were in pure agony.

Through your blur of tears, you dig around in your bag until your fingers meet cold metal. With trembling hands, you pull your lightsaber free. It was time. You wipe at the tears on your face--although it was useless since the flow seemed to be endless--and rise to your feet. You manage to climb back out of the remains and make your way back up the rocks.

Standing at the edge, you look down at your lightsaber and reach up to lower your hood. In the wind, your hair whips around your face. Light ocean spray speckles your cheeks, adding on to the mixture of tears. Your fingers slowly lift up towards your neck, pushing past the cloak pinned around it. Your fingertips touch the cold metal of the necklace laying on your skin.

You swallow past the lump forming in your throat. All you wanted was Kylo. His arms wrapping around you and the comfort of his strong hold. There were so many things you wanted to do with him. So many things that you wanted to say. You never even got to finish that dance. And now he was gone. Erased from your life for good as though he never even existed in the first place. All you had now was his writings and his memory.

Oh how you longed to go back and change that fateful day. You wished you could pull him into the escape pod instead of letting him shut that door on you. It hurt you to think about the fact that it might have been his plan the whole time. That the defeated look on his face wasn't because he was losing, but because he was planning to die. He knew he wasn't going to make it.

As your hands tremble, you think back to everything that had happened over the past year. All those sleepless nights during which you had cried until you were dizzy and gasping for air. His death was something you couldn't accept for the longest time. Sometimes you could have sworn you felt his presence, but the moments were always fleeting. They came and left just as quickly.

The thought of having a child with him was never present in your mind back then. It just wasn't a possibility. Now you wished you could continue his legacy. Just to have at least some form of him living. You would give anything just to kiss him one last time. To apologize and tell him that you missed him. You had read about Force ghosts and had been hopeful about it for a while, but nothing ever came to you. Kylo had simply vanished from your life. Perhaps it was also his doing. His own way of telling you to move on and live the rest of your life happily.

You wondered what would have happened if he had survived. Would you two be leading your lives out on Naboo? Or traveling the galaxy like he always wanted when he was younger? Even if Kylo had wanted to reassemble the First Order, you would have gone along with it. Wherever he was, you wanted to be there. Now you felt as though you had almost taken him for granted. Could you even continue on without him? He was the love of your life and it felt like you could never love another.

You shudder, your grasp around the saber tightening. As your eyes sink shut, you hear the sound of rocks tumbling behind you. The sound of the ocean crashing against the stone. The Force stirs within your chest, bubbling with life. You were sensing something so distant yet so close. It lights a fire within you. The sensation burns hotter than a thousand fires, but the only thing it was sparking inside of you was hope. You could sense a presence in the Force. A presence so close and so real. But it wasn't Kylo's...

"Butterfly?"

Ben.