I start babbling, trying to find a way to mask the truth as best I can. I don't know what to say to get him off my back, but I'm searching for the best excuse I can manage. He could run, he could tell me I'm crazy. I could lose him right here, right now.

"I mean, I didn't see it," I start to say. "I just had this really bad feeling—"

I'm losing ground. I'm trying to keep calm and try to find a way to explain without it sounding absolutely insane. Then again, there really isn't a way. My ability isn't natural. It's not the sort of thing people discuss daily, and it sure as hell isn't a normal problem to have.

"Violet?" Joel says. It's one of the few times he's ever said my full name. There's no kindness or love. At this moment, my name is just a word and nothing more than that.

"I didn't actually see it," I babble, the lie fairly unconvincing. "That's a crazy idea. No one can see the future! I mean, I don't know..."

"You're lying to me," he observes. "You're sweating and shaking and I'm certain that the reason you can't look me in the face is that you're not telling the truth. I'm not stupid, it's my job to know when someone is lying, Vi."

"I don't... I just... I'm sorry," I finish defeatedly.

He scrubs a hand over his face, considering this. "The thing is, if you're lying and saying you didn't see it, then that means you did. What are you? Are you psychic? Jesus Christ, that's not possible."

I feel selfish for not wanting him to leave. My world is dangerous. It's better for him that he not be in my life, but at the same time, I don't want to be without him.

"I don't know what I am," I admit. "Do you really want to hear this?"

"I wouldn't be standing here if I didn't, Vi," Joel says softly.

That's when I confess. "I see how people die."

He just stares at me, dumbfounded, and I start babbling.

"It happens when I touch people for the first time. My skin meets theirs and then I'm watching it like a bad dream. I see it play out in front of me. If it's murder, I report it to the chief so when the time comes, we catch the criminal. I'm not really an intern for them, I'm just someone Chief uses as an investigation tool. I guess it makes me feel better about myself because I know that even if I didn't save the person, my vision can save others in the future. The funny thing is, Joel, I've always felt like I'm not worth saving."

My voice cracks. My walls are starting to fall and I'm not ready for it.

"I have no idea where this curse came from. There's no indication it's genetic or even something I ate. No explanation."

He's unreadable, not even looking at me anymore. I feel it, the way the air between us has filled with intensity.

"I understand why you probably want to go right now," I whisper. I'm worried if I try to talk louder, I'll break down again. "And you can. It's your right to never come back to me if that's really what you want. I can live with it. So if you're going to walk out of my life, this is your chance. I'm giving you an out."

Suddenly, his gaze shifts back to mine, eyes wide with hurt.

"You think I'm gonna just walk out on you, Vi?" he asks.

"Is that not the sane thing to do?" I cock my head. "You can't seriously be okay with this."

"You think that my feelings for you are so shallow? You couldn't be more wrong. You're still you, Violet. Regardless of whatever it is that is going on with you, you're still Vi, you're still the girl I want to be with. You're still a person who tries to do the right thing. You tried to save that kid. You help stop murders and save lives! How do you not grasp how much you matter?" He takes my face, framing it with his fingertips and tilting my chin to look up at him.

And then he kisses me.

It's not a soft kiss. Or a goodbye kiss. It's not the sort of kiss that ends but instead, begins a new era. It's the kind of kiss that marks the start of beautiful things just barely in my grasp.

We move in time, and his lips are so soft and tender, yet demanding. When he kisses me, he takes pieces of me with each tug of them against mine. His tongue slips into my mouth and I'm gone in a matter of seconds. He knows just what to do to make my knees weak. I can barely hold myself up anymore.

He backs me against his car, the metal cold against my back where my shirt has hiked up. As I grasp the front of his jacket for balance, he presses his body against mine, rigid torso against the contours of my skin. I tremble with the weight of him, as his knee slides between my legs.

Every part of him is changing me. His tongue, his mouth, his teeth. Joel.

I won't come back from this. I can't come back from this.

"You matter to me, Vi," he says between kisses. "You matter."

Eventually, we stop kissing, when the cold has made our lips numb and I can hardly think straight anymore. I gasp for breath, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

"Will you come home with me?" he murmurs, holding me tightly in his arms. His nose brushes against my jaw as he speaks softly into my ear. "Please?"

"Yes," I say.

It feels impossible not to reach for him in the comfort of the car. I'm pretty sure if we do that, we'll never leave this parking lot. I feel drawn to him in a way I've never known, the desire and longing pooling in my gut.

Joel has the heater running. The warm blast of air provides an instant relief from the temperature outside. We drive away, leaving a difficult conversation and a brutal accident behind us. I know he's thinking about me, about my visions, and about our relationship. I let him work through it soundlessly.

I told him about me. Somehow I confided in him about something I'd kept hidden for much of my life, and he didn't abandon ship. He'd proven just how deep his loyalties to me are, and I don't understand how it's possible he would just accept me as I am without another thought.

He lives in a gorgeous apartment in the better part of the city, close enough that the drive isn't too long. After we park, he takes my hand and leads me through the revolving door into the lobby.

The doorman grins at him, then at me. "Who's this beauty, Joel?"

"Vi," Joel replies. "She's my Vi."

"You better keep this one around," the doorman says, pushing the button for the elevator. "I like her already."

I blush furiously as the doors close and we're pulled upward a few floors. I keep gawking at everything, especially after we head for his home. The hallway of the building alone is much nicer than anywhere I've ever lived. They even have a housekeeping staff; the carpets are freshly vacuumed and the place smells like air freshener. The doorknobs are shiny. All of it is gorgeous.

"This is such a nice building," I breathe, in a state of awe. "My apartment is a hellhole comparatively."

"It could be yours, too," he says.

"You're kidding," I sputter. "You want to live with me?"

"Why not?"

"I don't get it. I just told you that I know how you're gonna die, that I know how everyone is going to die, and you're okay with it? How can you— I don't understand— You're drunk."

He shakes his head. "I'm not drunk. I'm emboldened by liquid courage."

I giggle, leaning against his shoulder as he kisses the top of my head.

Suddenly, he bends down and scoops me up like a bride.

I squeal, looping my arms around his neck. "Joel!"

"Don't fight it, sweetheart. This is supposed to be sexy and romantic." He somehow manages to get the door open with me still in his arms. Admittedly, I like being carried. At least a little bit.

I reach out and shove the door shut behind us as we enter the dark apartment. The view is incredible with all the city lights cascading in through the window. The rain picks up, tracing down the pane of glass, blurring the lights into blobs of color.

He sets me down and flicks a light on.

My eyes wander around the furniture, the ornate decorations, and the shelves of books he has over by a desk in the corner of the room. He's even got a guitar in the corner. Even though he's just moved in, it already feels like somewhere safe and comfortable.

I set my shoes in the corner by the door, the hardwood cold under my socks.

"This is really great, Joel," I tell him earnestly. "I love it here."

I've already memorized the look he gets when he wants to kiss me. The green of his irises darkens as he strides to me. I waste no time in kissing him.

Once more, he lifts me up off my feet and my legs wrap around his waist. He takes a few steps back, fumbling for his bedroom door handle blindly. Our lips search for one another hungrily as his grip on my thighs tightens.

I'm on the bed now, my back easing onto the cool, unfamiliar sheets. His fingers are warm as they trace the hem of my shirt. His tongue runs along my bottom lip, a silent gesture reflecting a clear question.

I open my mouth and let him in.

His knee parts my legs, his hands slide my jacket off my shoulders. I feel his jaw scratching at my neck as he kisses lower and lower by the second. Each gentle nibble elicits a small gasp, urging him onward.

I never imagined going this far with someone, but now, if it doesn't happen, I'm going to lose my mind.

As his hand slides up my shirt, fingers brushing against the underwire of my bra, I tense up involuntarily. He notices, slowing down.

"Vi?" His voice is raspy as he struggles to catch his breath.

Here it comes.

"I've never had sex," I tell him sheepishly. "I just never was close enough to anyone to even think about it until now."

"It's okay. I understand if you don't want to do this," he replies.

"I want to," I assure him. "I want you so bad. I just don't want it to be, y'know, awful for you."

"Please look at me, Vi," he requests.

I do, still utterly embarrassed.

"Sex is great," he says simply. "And with you... God, you don't know how much I need you. But this isn't just about sex, it's about taking a step with you. If you're not ready, you're not ready. To tell you the truth, it's been so long I'm not even sure I know what I'm doing. The point is, we can learn together. This is about you and me. Don't push yourself into something you don't want, sweetheart."

I think this over for a second and slowly reach down to the hem of my shirt, yanking it over my head slowly, before I can doubt myself. He explores the newly exposed skin carefully, worshipping me with a simple touch.

He kisses me softly on the mouth, his eyes scanning my face. "Are you sure?"

I answer by bringing my lips back to his. We're kissing again, faster now. His hands slide up my back and unclasp my bra, revealing me, all of me to him. He kisses new places, finding them with his hot, sweet tongue. I arch my back, completely giving in.

His hand slides under my panties, running a single finger along the most sensitive parts of me.

"God, Vi," he rasps. "You're so ready for me."

As he disappears further between my thighs, I clutch his shoulders, looking for some means of holding on. He knows what he's doing, how to unravel me. It's not long before I'm crying out, clinging to him as he fills me with fireworks. I've found bliss, and tremors roll through me as the last of it leaves.

With the last of my bravery, I slide his belt through the loops. I work his zipper down until his pants disappear and there's nothing between us anymore.

There's the sound of a condom being torn open, the sound of two hearts pounding inside our chests. There's a gasp when he first enters me and a sigh when the pain disappears and is replaced with ecstasy.

I lose myself in him, digging my nails into his back as he takes me away in foreign sensations.

***

The night is fading into dawn by the time we're through. I'm wearing nothing but his shirt, cheeks flushed and coated with a thin sheen of sweat. His body is curved around mine, and he's just as sleepy as I am.

He kisses my face, an arm wrapped around my waist as we watch the sunrise through his bedroom windows. For a second, all is quiet. I'm trying to process everything that's just happened, trying to understand how I could end up here, in the arms of a man I care about so much.

"Hey, Vi?"

"Yeah?" I say, voice thick with exhaustion.

"I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. No matter what."

I can't think of the right words to say, so I don't say anything. I kiss him instead.

I'm content to stay here in this moment for now. Dismissing all other thoughts, I focus on Joel. I focus on counting his laugh lines as he falls asleep and finding the pattern his breathing falls into. I focus on him to forget about everything else.

I'm happy, so happy, right now.

But knowing my luck, something is bound to happen.