《Littlespace! ~ A Guide》♥ long distance cgl relationship tips! ♥
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A caregiver's responsibilities to their little are the same as in any other Cgl relationship. The little is a precious and sensitive person. When in little space, they are as vulnerable and as innocent as a child so they should be treated as such even though if they get "playful".
A caregiver should never manipulate, abandon or bully their little. Doing something like telling them they aren't good enough will get them very down. You have to support, love and cherish them and if you can't do that then you aren't suitable for a caregiving role.
A caregiver should make sure their little is doing the most basic things. Think about it, a child wouldn't be able to look after themselves well, so neither can a little when they're in little space to an extent. This can be checking if they're eating healthy, brushing teeth, getting fresh air, etc. A caregiver of a little with any mental illness should be even more aware of their little's moods and routines. You need to make sure they are stable and coping well.
All in all, a caregiver has to be just that - caring. It is their main role in a cgl dynamic and it must be upheld.
Here are some ideas on how to show your little you care for her over distance:
Send them cute texts, pictures, videos.
Set up rules and a routine.
Send them some colouring pages for them to colour in.
Skype more regularly.
Check in a lot.
Listen to your little and act accordingly.
Give them extra contact when they are sickly.
Now, caring also entails doing what's best for your little and bettering them so make sure you punish them when they are naughty.
Setting up rules and routines is one of the most important things in a Cgl relationship!
Best way to set those up is to discuss them together and come to a mutual agreement. A rule is there to ensure that the little is healthy, happy, safe, relaxed, comfortable. Routine is there to give the little motion, stability. Together they form a Structure which when in place allows for the dynamic to flourish!
Show caregiver their outfit for approval.
Never talk down to themselves.
Check in with their Caregiver regularly.
Never self harm.
Never be rude or talk back to their Caregiver.
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No potty mouth.
Must have at least 3 healthy meals a day.
Bedtime.
Never hide anything from your Caregiver or lie.
Good girls have good manners.
No cheating out of punishments.
Keep room tidy.
Good hygiene.
No sexy stuff without permission (if you do that.)
Here is an example of a good routine:
Wake up time - Can't be lying in bed all day, need to get up and ready for the day!
Morning hygiene - Brush teeth, wash yourself.
Getting dressed - Littles like to be dressed up, pick out their outfits in advance.
Breakfast - Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Chores - Business before pleasure.
Snack time - Yummy and vital for good energy through the day.
Play time - Skype, Movies, Cartoons, Colouring, etc.
Lunch - Lunch is the meal with the most vegetables.
Nap time - All that playtime is tiring...
Exercise - Go out to get some fresh air, Do some yoga, Stretch, etc.
More play time - The little is rested now so back to pleasure.
Bath time - Gotta get ready for bed.
Dinner - Can't go to bed hungry.
Bedtime - Bedtime story if they've been a good little :D, sleep well, shine tomorrow again.
Littlespace is the headspace someone goes into in which they feel a child like state. They will feel younger than their actual age in this headspace and they will display childish traits.
Littles are people too. Sometimes they don't feel like going little at all, sometimes they can't stop themselves and sometimes they need a little nudge to get into the headspace.
Here are some examples on how a Caregiver can get the little into littlespace over distance.
Baby them - Use diminutive terms (choo choo instead of train..)
Refer to yourself in third person as Daddy or Mommy (or other), that usually does the trick :D.
Play games like peek-a-boo over Skype, etc.
Watch them colour.
Watch them take a bubble bath and play with rubber duckies (non sexual pref).
Watch them play with stuffies, toys.
Okay so, you got her in littlespace and you're with her on Skype, which is great. She's still all alone though..
Here is an idea on how to make littlespace alone a better experience for your little:
Prepare in advance. Make some snacks or sandwiches and store them, Set up a cartoon playlist, Prepare an outfit you will wear, Make sure you know where all your stuffies are, Prepare food and drinks in advance, Make sure there's cookies, Prepare some music in advance.
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What every little does in a littlespace is a personal thing! Some littles will love to play with toys, while others will like to watch movies. Everyone is different!
Colouring.
Watching Disney(or other) movies.
Building a blanket fort.
Having a tea party.
Watching cartoons.
Eating yummy snacks.
Playing with toys.
Baking cookies.
When it comes to littlespace, it doesn't have to be at all sexual but it can be, it all depends on the little so sexytime during skype is also an option.
Here are some examples of how to reward a little over distance:
Call them a good little.
Allow them candy.
Watch their fav movie with them.
Being relieved from chores.
Extra time on the internetz.
Later bedtime.
Send them stuff like a new stuffie, new clothes, new toys, your clothes, your items, etc.
Extra Skype time.
A sticker on a sticker chart.
Sexy stuff over Skype.
Allowing self-sexy time.
Punishments for littles over distance:
Punishment should fit the crime! It is a good idea so set a punishment for breaking each of the rules. An example of this might be a rule like "The little must never self harm". This should not be punished by being shouted at, spanked, anything harsh like that. Instead it should be treated carefully as it shouldn't be made worse with harsh punishments. Another example might be the little being disobedient, which should be punished more harshly. this might be through kneeling on pencils (or legos muahahaha), self-spanking. corner time, etc.
Remember that a punishment isn't abuse but a lesson and should be performed with that in mind, as well as taken.
Firstly, SEX CAN NOT BE A PUNISHMENT! THAT KIND OF STUFF ONLY HAPPENS IN MOVIES...
Secondly, like the rules, all punishments need to be discussed and agreed upon.
That being said, here are some examples of how to punish a little over distance:
Early bedtime.
No candy.
No social media, YouTube and that kind of stuff.
Stuffies put in stuffie jail.
No TV.
More chores.
A good telling off (scolding).
Apologising publicly (Here for instance).
Writing lines during Skype.
Self spanking during Skype (unless she likes that).
Spend time in corner during Skype.
Kneel on pencils or other rough objects during Skype.
No Caregiver contact for some time (The Nuke!, use it only in extremes).
No sexy stuff over Skype.
Removing self-sexy time permissions.
Another idea could be making the little take a really cold shower during Skype, personally I know the many benefits of cold showering so I don't like this one as a punishment but it's a possibility.
Aftercare:
Now that punishment is done, aftercare MUST be performed. It is very important to boost mood, show care, tell them you're proud of them for being a brave little and taking the punishment, soothe them with your voice, talk it out, make sure they take care of their boo boos, have them apply lotion, massage sore spots, have them take a relaxing shower or bath, tell them you love them, have them tell you what lesson they've learned, help them see that the punishment is there for their well being, etc.
But what if the little just won't accept punishment and keeps breaking rules and / or routines?
This is a big one... Sometimes, Caregivers will have to deal with a little not accepting punishment. They may be being very bratty that day or just trying to get a reaction so here are some tips for responding to that:
Do not lose your cool!
- Caregiver needs to demonstrate that they are in control of themselves even under pressure. DO NOT shout or swear at the little because you're giving them the reaction they want. Firmly make them understand that accepting the punishment is in their best interest and that further consequences will ensue if the little continues to disobey.
Be consistent and firm!
Apply the consequences!
Start counting down from 10! (it's super effective).
Defying punishment occasionally ins't a problem, it's a part of being a playful little. But when a little consistently refuses to accept punishment, the caregiver has to make her understand their role in the relationship. Cgl is a dynamic after all, not a service. The caregiver needs to have a word with the little about expectations and the future of the relationship.
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