《Me, Myself, & My Babies》33

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I laid in bed with my phone, scrolling through all my social medias. It was late and I barely got the girls to sleep. I was tired but Madison told me something at the Halloween party with Darren.

So, being the girl in love with him, I started to look at his social media but nothing was there. There were a few pictures he was tagged in from the Halloween party but nothing fishy.

Of course the following day, Darren started to talk to me a little more. I woke up to a good morning text and an old picture of us before I had Vanessa and Lily. It was the day at the beach and it looked like either Madison or Chance took it because Darren and I were looking at each other laughing with my hair whipping around in the wind.

"Mase :))" is what the caption read.

I was confused but decided not to dwell on it for too long. I opened my curtains letting a little bit of light in while i was still sleepy.

This seperation from Darren was weird. He was radio silence up until last night. I rubbed my eyes and looked down at Vanessa and Lily. They were still sleeping in their cribs. Vanessa had her hands in little fists up by her head. Lily slept like a board with her arms by her sides. Their eyelashes were so long and thick, it kind of made me jealous. Although they did have Darrens eyes. They were a pale green, and so pretty.

"I love you both so much" I whispered smiling down at them.

My love for my babies were indescribable. I would do anything for them and I love them more everyday. Even if Lily did burp on my shirt and Vanessa had a horrible exploded diaper that went up her back.

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"Hey" I heard a voice whisper in my ear. I spun around and seen Darren standing there, a foot away from me.

I glanced at the slightly ajar door and back at Darren who smiled.

"I knocked but you probably werent paying attention" he shrugged.

"Yeah" I sighed, look at his green eyes and the faint freckles that scattered across his nose and cheeks. His first blonde hair pushed back by a hat.

"What do you want?" I asked him, but it sounded more of a sad plea.

I felt his energy change and his eyes went from amusement to desperation.

"I want to be together" he said, "When you said you needed space, I gave it to you,didn't i?"

My hands curled into fists at my sides, "Yes, but when I said that, I didn't mean to completely stop talking to me and block me!" I whispered yelled.

"Okay okay" he raised his hands in front of him cautiously, "I was kind of angry you didnt want me to be near our babies".

"Darren, I told you" I sighed and sat on my bed. He sat next to me, "I just needed time"

"And besides," I began to speak, looking over at him,his green eyes met mine, "It seemed like you didn't care that much"

His eyebrows drew together in confusion, "I do"

"I don't think so" i sighed.

We sat in silence, he reached for my hand and intertwined them with his. I rested my head on his shoulder as we sat side by side. I missed Darren so much, I missed the way he grabs my hand, how quietly he talks when we're close to each other, and just his presence in general. But then again,i felt so confused. Confused because i caused all this but also because he let it happen.

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I unpaved my hand from his and look at him, "Can you watch them? I need to take a shower" I talked quietly.

"Yes" he whispered while looking at my eyes which lead him looking at my mouth.

I took a deep breath and got up from the bed.

"Are we still together?" I heard him ask in a calm, quiet, voice.

I froze as I was about to leave the bedroom and looked over my shoulder at him.

"Can we talk about this later?" Without giving Darren the chance to answer, I left my room and straight to the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were slightly puffy, hair a mess, and even thought its been well over a month since I gave birth to Ness and Lily, my stomach still bulged out and still swollen. I lifted my shirt up and seen the sides of my stomach had stretch marks. I gently glided my finger across my stomach and following the lines of my stretch marks. Looking at myself one last time in the mirror, I started my shower and got in after I undressed myself.

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